July 8
Dear diary,
It's currently 4 am but we have more important things to focus on tonight.
He went in. My brother went into the arena he may never return from. I felt like part of my soul was ripped from me watching him have to fight, watching him- just the thought makes me shudder. I watched the beginning with the Everdeens and finally made a decision to be apart of everything that happens to him by never taking my eyes of the screen. I went home for dinner then sat down and continued watching him. I fell asleep on the couch but I dread school tomorrow, I will have to focus on school and not my brother, what if he- let me rephrase that in a way I can write, what if he gets hurt? The school updates never include much, but Ms. Everdeen promised me and Prim that she will watch all day and tell us anything that happens. Me and Prim have gotten really close, I guess there's a bond you share when watching sibling gets taken to the arena and knowing they might not return. It's a horrific thought but it's the truth. If I lie to myself I won't be able to accept it whe- no if it happens.
Well I should probably go to bed so I don't fall asleep at school tomorrow. Not that anyone would care I always notice siblings of the tributes get kind of special treatment from the teachers, I guess when they fall asleep at their desk the teachers probably think of how they were up all night watching their sibling. I'll write again tomorrow night! (Or sooner)
Amaria