Author's note: I was originally going to have Sam just doing generic SG-1 stuff before the attack on Atlantis, but then I found out that the SG-1's The Quest was supposed to take place around the same time as SGA's The Return. I was back and forth about addressing that because it puts Sam in a little bit of a darker place, but I thought it actually fit in well and goes along with the canon-adjacent vibe I'm going for.
Hope you're liking the story!
One more week. All she had to do was last one more week and then she'd see him again.
She'd been relieved when Walter passed along the message that Jack planned to be back in a week. It was the only real message she'd gotten from Jack aside from John Sheppard passing along a "General O'Neill sends his regards to SG-1" comment a couple days after Jack left.
Sam could handle the idea of a week a lot better than the giant question mark she'd been living with since Jack left. At first, she hoped it would only be a couple days like his first trip. Then that time passed and no one she talked to seemed to have any idea of how long the negotiations with the Ancients would last.
Sam tried to tell herself that this situation was closer to living in different states than when he'd been trapped on an alien planet or an alien moon. He had a way to get back and he'd return soon.
They had been separated for longer periods of time before. She tried to tell herself that this wasn't anything special.
Technically, with the Gate Bridge now active, he was only about a half an hour away.
Sam wished she had the ability to fly the jumper and could go there herself.
There had to be some excuse she could make up about wanting to test out the functionality of the Gate Bridge. She could get it approved by Landry and rope in someone with the ATA gene - maybe John Sheppard - and then she'd be able to see that Jack was okay.
She just had an odd feeling that something wasn't right. It was keeping her up at night.
Sam kept thinking about his offhand comment that the Lantean Commander looked like The Destroyer of Worlds and every time it sent a shiver down her spine.
It didn't help that there was no way for her to communicate privately with him. She'd managed to find excuses to be in the SGC control room for a few of his daily check-in meetings with Landry and it helped a little to see his face, even if he did look tired and unhappy.
He needed their vacation even more than she did.
She'd rescheduled her leave for the day after he was supposed to arrive home. She also rebooked their plane tickets and the hotel. It would be a hefty fee if she had to cancel again, but not booking it felt like admitting they weren't going to make it on vacation after all.
Sam didn't want to give up on the idea that easily, even if it might end up costing her some money in the long run.
They had a mission scheduled the day after Walter gave her Jack's updated timeline and she let that pull her focus, the same way she'd been drowning herself in work since he went back to Atlantis. She thought it would be a good thing. They'd accomplish their objective and she'd be back a few days before Jack returned.
Looking back afterwards, Sam had no idea why she thought that the mission would help distract her.
Instead, it just pulled so many feelings of loss and grief to the surface.
Having to work side by side with Ba'al to try to locate the Sangraal and then to fix the DHD made her skin crawl.
Jack still had nightmares sometimes about when he was tortured by the System Lord. She heard him shout out and beg and shiver in his sleep before her soft murmurs and comforting touch helped bring him back to himself. On those nights, Sam was never far from her guilt over persuading him to undertake a blending that he didn't want - one that led him to be murdered and revived over and over again.
Every time they formed a tentative partnership with Ba'al, even when it was necessary, it felt like an act of betrayal. It felt like she was trading pieces of her soul.
That moment when she had to ask Ba'al for help with the programing of the obelisk, Sam thought she might be sick when forcing the words out of her mouth.
She almost appreciated his refusal. Punching the Goa'uld in the face had felt incredibly satisfying and had been a long time coming. She only wished Jack could have seen it.
Part of her wanted Ba'al to continue to refuse so she could follow through on her threat to kill him.
If it had only been Ba'al, she might've been able to handle it. But it was so much more.
When they found Merlin in a stasis pod, she couldn't help thinking about when they had to leave Jack frozen in Antarctica.
When Daniel looked into that Ancient Repository and Cam continued to update her on his worsening condition, she felt like she was reliving both times Jack had done so and almost died.
Sam tried to focus on the mission anyway and get them out of there alive.
But Daniel didn't make it through the 'gate.
She had no idea how to find him and the one person she wanted to turn to for comfort was out of reach in another galaxy.
Vala was spinning out. Cam was doing the best to keep the team's spirit's up, but his logic that the Ori would keep Daniel alive for his knowledge brought to mind thoughts of torture instead of thoughts of hope.
Teal'c was the strong, steady force that Sam needed him to be - the way he was when any member of their team went missing. She still remembered how he held her as she cried when Jack was lost with Maybourne.
Teal'c brought her food when she skipped meals and forced her to her quarters for sleep in the middle of the night.
He listened to her rant when she was pulled off the search and rescue efforts until they had actionable information.
He hugged her when she started to break down.
"I miss Daniel," she admitted as she pulled away, eyes glossy with tears.
"As do I, Colonel Carter." He put a hand on her shoulder. "I believe, as O'Neill once said, that Daniel Jackson will always make his way home eventually."
Sam could really use Jack's jokes now about how Daniel had nine lives and that even if he did die he'd just turn up again naked somewhere.
"I miss Jack too," she shared.
Teal'c nodded and pulled her close for another hug. "Indeed."
SG-1 was out of the mission rotation while analysts ran through the DHD gate address records to see if they could track down the planet and find out where Daniel had been taken. General Landry reminded Sam that she had put in for leave and this time she was damn well going to take it.
Teal'c planned to spend a few days visiting Ry'ac while they waited for the 'gate address that would let them implement a real SAR. She understood his need to be close to family after the loss their team had just been through.
Sam went to the lab and started half-heartedly working on projects that had been put aside months ago, anger bubbling inside her that she wasn't allowed to help with the 'gate address analysis and was being forced to take leave...leave that she had been desperately looking forward to less than a week ago.
She told herself that all she had to do was hold it together until Jack made it home. Then she could fall apart in his arms and he'd help piece her back together.
Sam stayed on base because it made her feel closer to Daniel and it made her feel closer to Jack. She worked because she needed the distraction.
Jack would be home soon. She just had to wait.