Chapter4

Heath stared at Ella, completely dumbfounded. Never in his life would he have ever guessed she was married. And especially to a man who was old enough to be her father...even her grandfather! Jonathon was easily a man in his fifties. And Ella...

"I apologize. I assumed you were...I mean to say...Your age. I thought you were Audra's age..." His words sounded silly to him, and he was sure Ella thought so as well.

"Actually, if I'm not mistaken, Audra is two years older than I. I turned nineteen last month."

"But...Jonathon..."

"He's fifty- four. We've been married for three years now."

Heath didn't know what to say. His feet seemed rooted to the spot. Finally, he realized Jonathon was waiting for his wife...his wife. Heath grew angry, wondering how any decent man could marry one so young. Ella seemed to be more than just some old man's darling. Maybe...maybe she was waiting for Jonathon to die so she could have all of his money...

No, Heath could tell Ella wasn't like that. He was a good reader of people, or at least he thought he was.

"Heath?" Ella asked.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Sommers. I need to be on my way. Have a good day," Heath said as he mounted Charger. He would go back and get Ella's horse and take her to Mick, then he would make sure he was on the farthest side of the Barkley ranch when Ella came to get her horse.

Ella watched him ride away, her heart heavy. She hadn't meant to lead Heath on in any way or deceive him. Jarrod and Audra knew Ella was Jonathon's wife, and she had assumed Heath would know too. She had hated to see him embarrassed and had noticed right away he didn't call her Ella, but "Mrs. Sommers." She sighed and made her way inside.

Audra and Ella rode in silence on the way to the orphanage. Ella had begun accompanying Audra just after moving to Stockton, and she enjoyed the children. Ella felt Audra was unusually quiet and was concerned for her friend.

"Audra, are you alright? You seem quiet today."

Audra sighed. "I'm sorry, Ella. I don't mean to be."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

Again, Audra sighed. Ella assumed she didn't want to talk, so she kept her eyes on the road, as she drove the buggy toward the orphanage.

"It's just my brothers can be so annoying at times!" Audra blurted out.

Ella stayed quiet, hoping Audra would open up to her.

"A few weeks ago, Luke Connelly and I went out to dinner. He brought me back home, and we were talking on the veranda. It was late. Too late, I guess. Luke was about to kiss me when Nick interrupted us. I was so embarrassed! Luke seemed to take it all in stride, and I thought he'd ask me to the dance on Saturday...but I heard in town yesterday he's taking Lucy Thompson."

Ella could tell Audra was saddened she hadn't been asked by Luke. She reached over and patted Audra's hand, letting her know she was there for her.

"You really liked Luke?" Ella asked.

"Yes. He's so handsome and funny. And he made me feel special when I was with him," Audra said, dreamily. Then her delicate features turned angry.

"My brothers have never been happy with the men I've dated. Sometimes I think they just want me to either remain single or marry some old man!"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Audra gasped.

"I'm sorry, Ella!"

"For what?" Ella asked, puzzled.

"For the comment about marrying an old man. Not that your husband is an old man...Oh, I'm making a mess of things."

Ella laughed and Audra was relieved her friend didn't seem offended.

"Not to worry, Audra. I know Jonathon is considered 'old', but I assure you, I don't think he's an old man."

They were still a few miles away from the orphanage when Audra decided to ask her friend something that had been on her mind.

"Ella, may I ask why you married Jonathon? I mean...the age difference and all. Did your parents approve?"

"Yes, they approved. In fact, they arranged the marriage."

"Oh," Audra said.

"My grandparents came from Scotland, and over in the 'old country' as it is known, arranged marriages were common. My parents' marriage was arranged and seven children were born from it. I'm the youngest of the seven. Anyway, they decided to carry on the tradition."

"How did you feel about that?"

"Not getting to choose who I married?" At Audra's nod, Ella continued. "My sister, Clara, who is five years older than I, refused to marry the man Father had chosen for her. I remember I was ten at the time. Clara had always been a free spirit, doing her own thing. She ran off with a young man she'd met in town, and they were married. My parents were devastated, but to keep family harmony, they accepted their new son-in-law. Jeffery seemed like a nice man. They moved to a town several miles away, and we rarely saw them. Clara had a son, Jeffery Junior, we call him JJ. Clara came back to town for my sister Amy's wedding. She explained Jeffery couldn't come because of his job, but in truth, she'd sneaked away. Jeff had forbidden her to come home. We found out later that Jeff was abusing Clara. I saw the bruises on her back and arms. When Clara returned to Jeff, he was angry with her and began to beat her. He went too far and ended up...well, Clara died from her injuries. Jeff was so upset, he killed himself. At least, that's what the sheriff told us. JJ now lives with my parents.

"The reason I told you this story is because I realized early on that my parents were very wise people. I placed all of my trust in them to find me a husband they thought would be compatible for me. And I can honestly tell you, I love my husband. He's wonderful. And even if I had been able to 'choose' my husband myself, I couldn't have done a better job."

Audra was amazed at the story. She couldn't imagine not being able to choose who she would marry.

"Does the age difference bother you?" Audra asked.

"No. There are times, of course, that it is an issue, but usually only when someone else brings it up. I'm happy and content with my husband. Well, almost. Audra, may I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"I long to give my husband a child. His first wife, Christine, was unable to conceive for several years, and when she finally did, she became ill and died. Jonathon was devastated."

"I'm sorry, Ella."

"Jonathon says he doesn't care if we have a child or not, he's happy with me. But I know he'd make a wonderful father. Our housekeeper, Wilma, knows a lot about herbs and has been trying to find a combination of them to help, but so far, nothing has happened."

"Maybe the herbs aren't helping?"

"Oh, I know they do help. She was living with Jonathon and Christine when Christine conceived. Christine was taking the herbs. Part of the reason we moved to Stockton was so we could be close to San Francisco. There's a specialist there that we have seen a few times. We're hoping that between Wilma's herbs and the doctor, we'll be able to have a baby soon."

"I hope so too, Ella."

Again the two woman fell silent. Ella wanted to say one more thing to her friend, but was concerned. She decided to throw caution to the wind.

"Audra, if I may make an observation?"

"Of course."

"Your brothers love you very much. I know they want only your happiness. If you look back on the men you've dated, the ones they've 'run off', could you honestly say you're not glad? Could you imagine being married to any of those men?"

Audra thought for a few moments. She had to admit Ella was right. She wouldn't want to be married to any of those men. Maybe Audra should trust her brothers more. It just irritated her when they tried running her life. She was a grown woman after all.

The orphanage was just coming into view, so the two woman decided to put an end to their conversation. The children excitedly greeted the two ladies and the rest of the day was spent playing, reading and taking care of their small charges.

Later that night, Ella and Jonathon were sitting up in bed, each reading a book. After reading the same page three times and not being able to remember one thing she'd read, she finally put the book down in frustration. Jonathon had noticed she seemed agitated since she'd returned home that afternoon and knew she would eventually talk to him about what was bothering her. He quietly placed his book on the night stand and turned to her. It was then he noticed the tears in her eyes.

"Hey now," he said softly. "What's this?"

Ella sniffed, and covered her eyes with her hand.

"I'm sorry, Jonathon."

"Don't apologize for crying, Ella," he scolded gently. "But tell me what's wrong. Did I do something?"

She shook her head no, and took a few deep breaths to try and calm herself. Jonathon had retrieved a handkerchief from his dresser drawer and after handing it to her, climbed back into bed.

"Audra and I were at the orphanage today," she began explaining. "It breaks my heart to see all those children without someone to love them. So many are there because their mothers and fathers didn't want them. And I began thinking about how we would make wonderful parents. It just doesn't seem fair sometimes," she said and broke into sobs.

Jonathon reached for his wife and she gladly let him hold her. Once she had quieted down, he spoke to her.

"Ella, I know you want a baby. It'll happen. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself."

Ella nodded against him, knowing he was right. She ached to hold a baby of her own, and knew she needed to let it go. As long as she worried over it, she wouldn't be any good to anyone.

"I will try to relax, Jonathon," she murmured against his chest. He shifted so he could look into her brown eyes.

"I know one way to help you relax," he said, smiling. Ella returned his smile and reached up to place her hand behind his neck. Their night ended in the throes of passion. Ella refused to allow herself to think that perhaps this time, they would succeed in creating a baby.