Jackson's additions to our meal mean we have way too much food for three (or really two and a half) people. I'm not sure why he brought salad and cheesecake because my understanding was he was just bringing wine. Typical Jackson, going overboard in everything he does. He and Harriet are currently dancing around the living room to what sounds like jazz music. Well, more like Jackson is dancing and Harriet is standing on his toes, but it's close enough. I watch them secretly from behind a wall in the kitchen as my heart melts a little. Jackson has always been scared of being a bad father, especially since he grew up pretty much lacking one entirely. He clearly took those fears and used them for good, because he's an excellent father. The way Harriet's face lights up whenever she sees him is unmatched.
A burst of laughter coming from the living room sends me running back towards the stove. "Hey Mata Hari! You're not slick with the spying," Jackson shouts my way. Caught red-handed, I am.
"You two are just such good dancers, I couldn't help but give you an audience," I reply as a cover up. Jackson doesn't need to know about the almost ten minutes I spent admiring his parenting. He rolls his eyes at me, and I'm not sure if that means he bought it or not.
"Okay you two, why don't you get the table set up? Dinner's ready," I say as I bring out pasta, the salad and a dish full of chicken parm. Jackson and Harriet race to the table and start placing plates and cups.
"Mommy! You put out the nice dishes!" Harriet says excitedly as she pulls on the hem of my dress.
I kneel down to her level and give her a big smile. "I did ladybug! Daddy and I have some news to tell you and we wanted to make it special. You remember I told you earlier that we would have a talk later, right?" She nods dutifully and marches over to her chair to sit down.
I say grace as Harriet squirms and Jackson tries to keep his eyes shut. I giggle internally – he thinks I can't see him peaking but I know him well enough. We waste no time digging into the elaborate meal, accompanied by wine for us and apple juice for Harriet. Dinner conversation is light and fun: Jackson tells us about how he befriended a squirrel while camping last week and Harriet keeps us entertained with a riveting story about a sea anemone she saw recently (which Jackson and I knew was definitely true). She's pretty much feeling back to her normal self, thank God. As I enjoy my meal, I think about what life will be like with the three of us in Boston. I could get used to family dinners like this every night in a room filled with smiles and laughter.
Once we finish eating, Jackson and I clear the dishes while I set up Harriet with 'Doc McStuffins' on TV in the den. We were washing and drying in comfortable silence that I broke first.
"So, I told her earlier that we were going on a trip because I wanted her to help me pack some boxes, but said I wanted to wait until we were together to tell her anything else."
Jackson gives me an indecipherable look. Is he upset? I tried to keep what I told Harriet as vague as possible. He starts speaking slowly.
"You…didn't have to do that. I really appreciate you waiting for me."
I scrunch up my face and give him a weird look that I hope says "you're her dad, of course I wanted to tell her with you." I think he gets it, because he continues talking.
"I uh, didn't really think about how we would tell her. I know she's not even four, but somehow she scares me the most. I think it's the questions she might ask about it that I'm not sure how to answer," he half-whispers, half-chuckles.
I reply with a line that he said to me once, long ago. "There's two of us. We've got her outnumbered." Jackson's face flashes with recognition and he smiles, letting me know he got the reference.
We walk out to the den together and sit down on either side of Harriet.
"Hey Hattie, TV's gotta go off for a bit, okay?" Uncharacteristically, she doesn't fight and responds with a "yes Mommy" while turning it off. I think she knows having both Jackson and I here talking to her at once is more serious than usual. Jackson and I look at each other, and I wordlessly give him the floor.
Jackson clears his throat and starts. "So, I heard Mommy told you we would be going on a little trip huh?" Harriet nods before Jackson continues. "It's a trip to a place called Boston. Only, it's not really a trip. We're gonna be moving there to live."
Harriet's face goes blank, and then she starts to cry while crawling into my lap. She buries her head into my chest, and I can't hear her very well but am able to make out the words "miss Mommy" and "don't want to leave." I realize she thinks that only one of us will be going with her. My heart sinks a little – that shouldn't have been the first thing to cross her mind, but she's pretty much only existed in a world where life at Mommy's house and life at Daddy's house were two separate entities that never crossed. I pull her head off my chest gently and speak to her in soothing tones
"No ladybug, we'll all be moving together! It'll be like an adventure!" Harriet wipes her nose and sniffs, before smiling a little.
"Me and you and Daddy?" she asks incredulously. Jackson and I look at each other and laugh before replying in the affirmative. She screams, leaps out of my arms and starts doing cartwheels on the floor. That went easier than planned.
"Do you have any questions about it, baby?" Jackson asks, a little dumbfounded by her reaction. Harriet ignores him and keeps spinning around. I jump back in with more explanation.
"We'll be leaving soon Hats, so we need to pack up everything in our house and say our goodbyes to Grandma and Grandpa Richard. Then you, me and Daddy will get on an airplane and leave." The mention of an airplane sends her into another frantic state of excitement. Her joy is contagious, and Jackson and I can't help but laugh again. Harriet was treating this as one big adventure, so why shouldn't we? I thought we were totally out of the clear until Harriet pipes up again.
"When Ruby and Matt get back will they come to Bos-sun too?"
Shit. I did not prepare for that one.