Katsuki Bakugou

"I'd say 'course I wasn't,' but what do you mean?" Bakugou inquired while poking his head outside his dorm and ensuring that no other people were present before gesturing for Todoroki to follow suit.

Todoroki offered his banal shrug to answer Bakugou's question. He almost seemed to walk with leaden, astringent movements.

With a snort, Bakugou ditched the topic and slammed down a new one. "Whaddya feel like eating?"

"I don't…really care."

"Think of something."

Todoroki yawned. "Whatever you're having, I suppose."

Once Todoroki and Bakugou headed down to the kitchen, Iida and Yaoyorozu were already present. While Iida was dining on a well-balanced, hearty breakfast, Yaoyorozu was drinking a hot cup of what Bakugou imagined to be tea.

"Greetings!" Iida cordially greeted the approaching duo with a vertical slice of his arm.

"Good morning," Yaoyorozu chuckled after observing Iida's iconic greeting.

"Morning," Todoroki sighed.

While Todoroki lumbered off towards a cabinet and grabbed a small jar of honey, Bakugou began to prepare two omelettes. Bakugou descried the heterochromatic student from the corner of his eye, and after the first instance of doing so transpired, he continued to sneak ephemeral glances at Todoroki.

I've never been so distracted by someone before, Bakugou growled to himself. Wonder what his laugh sounds like. Bet it's hella cute. Maybe soft. Like a light chuckle? Wait, when the hell did I start thinking about this?!

Once the omelettes had been prepared, Uraraka, Satou, Deku, Jirou, and Asui had also joined the quartet in the kitchen. Bakugou silently observed as Todoroki ate his omelette; he'd drowned the rest of the world out to fixate his enthralled attention on Todoroki.

"Yeah, I heard that we're gonna be swimming!" Uraraka jubilantly exclaimed.

Deku sheepishly grinned, but Bakugou attempted to eradicate the bush-haired nerd from his mind. "The weather is great for it, so I'm excited."

While the animated chatter chirped throughout the common area, Todoroki excused himself for the bathroom. At the time, Bakugou paid the action no mind, but what he did find to be thoroughly perplexing was how Todoroki gulped down about half of a spoonful of honey once he returned.

Why the actual fuck? Bakugou wondered while the majority of the students in the kitchen shuffled away to attend class. If he's anything like me, that honey's the equivalent of my hot sauce. Could fuckin' drink it like water. But honey? That's nasty.

"Oi. You not goin' to class?" Bakugou queried while Todoroki pushed the honey back into its cabinet.

Todoroki shook his head. "I would've set an alarm if I planned to go to class today." He yawned and pressed the side of his cheek against the counter.

"From the minute you said you'd stay, you already knew you'd be skippin' class?!"

"Yeah."

"You! Asshole!" Bakugou bared his glistening fangs. "Why the hell would you do that?"

A shrug nodded up and down through the air from Todoroki. "I wanted to."

"Goddammit. Whatever. Why the hell were you eatin' honey?"

"I like the taste."

"Is that alcohol? Kacchan, I didn't know you—"

"Hits the spot sometimes."

Drowns the pain in delirium. There's nothing I want to remember. Nothing I want to hold onto. Nothing that helps as much as this alcohol. If I wanna wake up again, I have to choke myself with alcohol first. Without it…

"It's going to cause a lot of damage over time. I know you know, but I don't want this to get worse."

"I'm fine. A few drinks won't kill me, Deku."

Even if I drown myself in alcohol, I doubt my parents would even give a shit. I got what I deserved. They just tell me to clean up after myself when I drink. It's like I don't mean a goddamn thing to the people I should matter the most to. Why the hell am I here? Was I the child they never wanted but accidentally got? Someone that never should've existed. So, why… Why do I keep choosing to live? If I picked a day to die, would anyone care? Would anyone notice? Or would I just disappear like I never fucking existed in the first place? Like my whole life, I was just a phantom of whoever I was supposed to be? Fuck. I really…just want to fucking die. No. Not die. I just want to disappear.

After blinking back his memories, Bakugou rolled his eyes but figured that he wouldn't argue over paltry matters. "'Kay. Oi. You holdin' up?" His habitual sneer was smeared into a frown of suppressed solicitude.

"I'm fine," Todoroki asserted somewhat impetuously.

"Yeah? Somethin' tells me you're not."

"If that's what you want to think, I won't stop you."

"Then what's going on?"

Todoroki nestled his head against the bend of his elbow. "I'm just tired. You have it worse than I do." His eyes sank closed.

"Really?" Bakugou retorted with a narrowed, burning gaze "You haven't said jack shit about yourself, so that seems hella sus. Oi. Let's talk."

The heterochromatic student curled his head down towards the counter. "I guess you—Katsuki Bakugou, of all the students here—did admit you have insomnia. All right. Ah…" He drew his head back up, but his languishing eyes did not meet Bakugou's. "I suppose I have some family issues."

"Why… WHY DO THEY ALWAYS LEAVE ME ALONE WITH YOU?!" With tears pouring down and lips peeling back, Bakugou rammed his fist through the standing mirror in his room; fragments of his body shattered upon impact and crumbled to the floor. "DIE! JUST FUCKING DIE! WHY WON'T YOU FUCKING DIE?! DIE, GODDAMMIT!" His knuckles ruthlessly tore into the jagged shards of his reflection as they rained down onto the floor, staring up at him and mocking his every movement.

Bakugou began to beat the crystalline fragments of himself that were strewn across the floor. His knuckles spat out blood as though rebuking his precipitous actions, but quite candidly, Bakugou just didn't care. He couldn't feel the pain. All he could feel was the serrated hatred glazing over the emptiness eating away at him from the inside.

Bakugou shook his head as his memories swam like flames through his tingling fingers. "Like?"

Todoroki shrugged. "I'd rather not say."

"If you think it makes it fairer, I don't exactly have family issues like what first comes to mind. Parents just…kinda neglected and ignored me. Acted like I could do anything cuz I proved that I could and established that I wanted to do things myself. It was like I didn't exist to them. Felt like a ghost."

The predominant mass of the jagged chips of Bakugou's reflection was pulverized into a cerise chalk. Before he could fully terminate his reflection into a paltry powder, however, his livid screams had been asphyxiated by dull, throbbing sorrow.

"Why…won't you die?" Bakugou mewled as he sank down onto his knees into the pool of glass snow steeped in crimson and sanguine. "Why? Wh-Why…" He blankly muttered "why" through his sobs as he broke down into what felt like an inextricable void of acute dolor in his soul.

I'm too afraid to kill myself. But I… Just let me fucking disappear. Please. It's killing me. It hurts so fucking much. It's tearing my soul apart. Make it stop, goddammit… Please. I'll do fucking anything. Just… Just make it stop…

As Todoroki's brows raised a bit, his onyx pupils finally rested on Bakugou's figure. "I see. I'm guessing that's why you've been spending so much time tolerating my offensive existence. Well, my existence is offensive to Endeavor—my father. I don't matter to him beyond my Quirk. I'm…worthless. I know I'm not, but I am to him."

Katsuki, all you're good for is being worthless day after day.

"Damn. What a sack of shit Endeavor is. But, yeah… Guess I long for company sometimes. Oi. I'm fuckin' stunned you decided to say anything at all. I don't hate talkin' to you. Hell, almost feels natural."

Something tells me he's bullshitting me, Bakugou pondered. But fuck, he can read me well. I can't read him for shit. I know he's hiding more.

"I guess I'm the opposite," Todoroki murmured while rubbing at his temple. "I don't usually want to be around others. I don't hate talking to you either."

Before long, lunch had rolled around, and Todoroki and Bakugou had spent their mornings discussing activities that they found to be enjoyable, unlikeable, or annoying.

"It's already lunch?" Bakugou audibly questioned. "Want me to make you a sandwich?" He noted how Todoroki's gaze flicked to the counter.

"Sure," Todoroki halfheartedly muttered. "Why do you keep offering to make me things? I can do it myself."

While Bakugou pieced their sandwiches together, he replied, "Yer hella skinny. Even if you're eating plenty, you should have some meat on your bones." Rather than his utterances being vexed growls, his voice had simmered down to a light crackle.

"I guess."

"You need strength for your own training, for U.A., and to not be an asshole and half-ass all your matches against me," Bakugou finally snarled. "I fucking hate it when anyone won't show me their all. No one looks down on me. No one goes easy on me. No one wimps out on me." Once he finished preparing the first sandwich, he served it to Todoroki. "Stayin' quiet?"

"Thanks," the taller of the two murmured with exsanguinated verve. "I'm tired. But after this, try to get some rest. Time definitely went faster than expected. Sorry I kept you here longer." He tore a nibble out of his sandwich.

Bakugou attempted to replicate Todoroki's insouciant shrug. "Yeah, I'll try. Don't fucking apologize. Never once hated any of this. I kept you in my dorm all damn might and made you miss class for the day."

"I don't really care. I'm not… I'd rather have what happened than to have not." He yawned and gently stretched out his arms. "I'll eat the rest later." He'd consumed roughly one-third of his sandwich.

The ash-blonde contorted his expression with a jagged scowl. "You better eat more than that," he growled. "Seriously, yer gonna pass out or some shit, Icyhot."

Although Bakugou anticipated that Todoroki would precipitously protest or inveigh against the idea, Todoroki sighed, "I won't, Bakugou. I'm still full from breakfast. Anyway, get some rest today. Thanks for not hating me." With that, he wrapped up his sandwich and stored it in the fridge.

"Rest your own ass," Bakugou spat while Todoroki shuffled into the nearby bathrooms.

Might as well use the bathroom as well, Bakugou thought while pondering what the hell was hidden in the intent behind Todoroki's ambiguous final statement. Maybe have a quick drink in there when he's gone. I hate that I'm still adding alcohol to my water, and if that's ever not enough, I still almost always have a small container of alcohol on me. One day… Tch. I sure as hell don't hate him, as much as my ego wishes that I did. Fuck, I'm damn exhausted. But I still just can't fucking sleep. It's like I could fall asleep at any given moment, but my body refuses to let me sleep. Huh?! What the… Oh, shit. Don't tell me he's been… Shit! HE IS A MOTHERFUCKING, BULLSHITTING LIAR. I CALLED THIS SHIT! Fuck, now I have to try and figure out someone that's good at bullshitting me with lies. Dammit, what do I say to him? What the hell do I do here?!