This chapter is prior to, "Wearing Suits".
Any complications in reading or mistakes, I would appreciate it if you could tell me, english is not my native language, and I want to improve to give them higher quality writing.
«I have no idea how to start this, I don't even know if it's worth it, I mean, there's such a thing as email.
Ugh... Whatever.
How are you, Katsudon? Are you making progress in your training? Victor isn't making any strange insinuations?
The truth is that I am too busy and maybe stressed out with my training.
Anyway, if this letter arrives to you before we meet, only me... maybe I miss you a little... and the Katsudon that your mother prepares».
Yuri looked at his letter and frowned, he had no idea because he had accepted Yuuri's absurd idea of exchanging letters. They both had mobile phones and e-mails, damn it, this was from the last century, and besides, Yuri didn't have the faintest idea how to write a letter.
He re-read his pseudo letter and was about to throw it in the bin. However, he remembered the way that that afternoon before boarding the plane that would take him back to Russia, Yuuri had held his hands and told him with an embarrassed smile that it would be great to exchange letters until they met again, and since as Yuri was discovering, he could not deny him anything, he had said yes.
With resignation and shame, he put the letter in an envelope, pasted the postcards and sighed, he had done what he could.
.
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«Yuratchka!
The truth has filled me with happiness your letter, I didn't expect you to write so quickly, and well, it will sound silly, but... I really find it a romantic gesture, and you don't have to keep doing it if you don't feel comfortable, but my father and mother used to send each other letters and well... they still keep them and I just... it doesn't matter.
My training is fine, or so I think, it really doesn't feel the same since you left. I miss you so much, I miss the way you frowned when I was about to take a wrong jump; and the way your hands were always warm after a session at the waterfall... and I just... wish you were here.
And Victor, well, Victor is Victor so I have no idea what you mean.
Why are you so stressed out? Are you doing badly in your training?
You can send me a message or better still, call me, you don't have to write to me anymore.
Forever yours, Katsuki Yuuri
PS. I will do katsudon next time we meet».
Yuuri looked at his letter and blushed with the last line, maybe it was too early for that but, he felt like this...
He ran a hand through his hair, maybe he should erase the last line, Yuri was a little reluctant to make romantic gestures, although his face used to acquire a lovely blush and that dreamy look that not even his scowl could hide. He sighed, he really missed him and it had only been a couple of weeks since his departure. And although, perhaps it was a little selfish of him, for a moment he allowed himself to believe that Yuri would stay at Hasetsu after all and that both of them could continue training under Victor's tutelage, but not.
After his small but important competition, Yuri had wasted no time in packing his bags and booking his first plane ticket back to Russia.
When Yuuri had seen his intentions for a moment he had thought that this meant that their nascent relationship was also over.
"You don't have to leave", he had muttered, the happiness of having gained diminished in the face of events.
Yuri had frozen and then his green eyes had glowed with slight discomfort.
He could feel Yuuri's turbulent emotions as his own, and if there was one thing he was clear about, it was that he did not like to see him sad.
"It is", he said, sighed and bit his lower lip. "You won and I like to keep my promises. Besides, if I stay, I won't be able to concentrate properly..."
Yuuri looked at him without understanding. Yurio's emotions were a little overshadowed by his own.
So Yuri had kissed him.
"When we meet again", Yuri murmured against his lips, "I'm going to kick your ass on the track. This time I'll be the winner".
After that, while waiting at the airport, Yuuri had remembered the pile of letters that his mother and father kept with much care. That was when he had come up with the idea of exchanging letters.
Yurio had looked at him as if he were crazy.
But in the end, he sighed dramatically and only muttered:
"My boyfriend has an old man's soul", but before Yuuri could complain, he had kissed him goodbye which for a moment had made Yuuri forget the public place where they were, when they finally walked away, shame would follow, as Yura walked away with a satisfied smile.
In the end, Yuuri had not expected his to comply with his request but when his mother handed him the letter with a soft smile, Yuuri felt his heart racing and despite how short it was, Yuuri was completely moved.
He finished stamping the letter and sighed, however, he did not want to make him feel obliged to write letters either, Yuuri would be happy with a simple text message, although he would really have liked to continue with that.
.
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«Yuuri...
You are a fool, one would hope that living with me that couple of weeks ago would have made you realize that if I didn't want to do something, I wouldn't do it, I just, I think I'm lousy at doing this, very well I said so. But I've never done this before, I'm the one who receives the letters, not the one who writes them and well, the letters I receive are not the best example to follow, my fans usually go a bit overboard.
Anyway, I hope this one is better than the last one, I asked my grandfather for advice, and I would like to say that it was helpful, but, he only told me to express everything I want to express... By the way, he said he wants to meet you.
And no, I'm not doing badly with the training, I just have a new ballet trainer who seems to be unhappy with my flexibility and I'm very flexible, damn it, I'm one of the few who can do a bellman turn, but no... she's determined to make me a prima ballerina, she just needs to make me wear a tutu and then... next thing you know I'm about to make my debut in the Bolshoi ballet instead of the GPF. And the worst thing is that she and Yakov have made me move into their house and make me sleep at 8 o'clock, at 8 o'clock! Ugh... Wipe that smile off your face, it's not funny.
Anyway, despite everything, my programme is progressing well. So you have to make sure you pass your competitions, because I have no doubt that I will...
And...
And I want to see you... a lot.
Yours, Plisetsky Yuri.
PS. You better keep your word, besides I... have a surprise for you».
Yuri looked at Yuuri's letter open still next to his, and without being able to avoid it, he went through the fluid letters. Yuuri really had beautiful calligraphy and reading each line felt like having his boyfriend whispering in his ear.
The truth was that when Lilia had delivered the letter to him, his stomach had taken a funny turn, and for a moment, he thought his heart would come out of his chest.
Was this what it felt like to be in love? He wondered for a brief moment as he opened the envelope with trembling hands and eagerly read the words written there, and his heart seemed to race with Yuuri's simple line.
«Forever Yours», a small and peculiar phrase that meant more than its sender could possibly know. Yuri, a child who had never expected to find anything like love, sounded like a difficult promise to keep, and yet, as he ran through each letter that made up the prayer with trembling fingers and finally the name of the one who made his heart beat wildly, he could almost believe them.
He sealed his letter and placed it in the letterbox. He looked up at the sky and hope rose.
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«Yuratchka...
In my defense I must say that you sounded somewhat reluctant to continue with the exchange of letters and well, I don't want to force you to do anything that doesn't make you feel comfortable. Y... do you really get a lot of letters from your fans?
And your grandpa is right, just write whatever you want, I... I'm happy to read whatever Yura wants to tell me.
And, does your grandpa really want to meet me? Did you tell him about us? OMG! He doesn't object, does he? God! I should bring him a present, right? No, silly question, you better tell me, is there anything I can do so he doesn't hate me? Now I am completely nervous.
And I saw your performance in Canada, congratulations on your silver medal, your free program looked really amazing, although I would really like to see it live, and just to clarify I think you would also be amazing in professional ballet, I would make sure to send you flowers every day you have a performance, by the way do you have a favorite flower? I particularly like sunflowers, I think they are really beautiful, besides, the tone of their leaves reminds me of your beautiful hair and... I miss you very much.
Sometimes, if I close my eyes and concentrate I can feel you and... is it weird? Just maybe it's the longing I feel for you, because you know Yuri, I'm hopelessly in love with you.
Forever yours, Katsuki Yuuri.
PS. I'm really anxious to see what my surprise will be. See you at the Rostelecom Cup».
Yuri read the letter again and again.
Yuuri was in love with him and Yuri didn't even have a clue how to reply to it.
Because part of him was terrified that if he jumped, he would end up with an irreparable broken heart, and yet, every time he thought of Yuuri; in his brown eyes, his smile, his kind personality and his sweet lips, he felt that his heart would come out of his chest in search of him.
So Yuri did not answer, he kept the letter close to his chest and when finally the Rostelecom Cup started. When Yuuri and he met face to face in the elevator that would take them to their respective rooms, and after it closed.
Yuri kissed him as if his life was going to end if he didn't.
When the elevator door framed the stop in Yuri's room, they reluctantly parted and Yuri smiled at him as he handed him a letter.
"Read it in your room", he mumbled, his cheeks blushing, and finally came out.
.
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«Yuuri...
Although I am doing this in writing the words will not come easily. But if I don't do it this way I may not be brave enough to do it and... sounds pathetic I know, but I want to tell you a story.
There was a child, a child like any other, a child who came into the world as an unwanted child, but that's okay, in the end he is loved, he has a grandpa who in many ways is more of a father and mother who loves him in his own way.
But, this particular child, at times, wondered what love was. Of course the child grew up with tales of princes and princesses, because as I told you Yuuri, he has had a wonderful grandfather who always tried to fill his early childhood with sweet dreams that came true. The thing was, the child knew that happily ever after does not exist and that sometimes even those who are supposed to bring colors into your life hurt, hurt so much that the heart is torn apart.
The child knew this because his mother was the clearest example, he had seen her crying countless times and even more trying to hide his pain with empty smiles. So, that child was always reluctant to believe in love, even when at the age of five he met another child with kind brown eyes who looked at him in shock because the colors had appeared in his vision.
And even though after that little encounter, and not without some relief, he thought he would never see him again, ten years later he found him crying in a bathroom.
And now, now...
You have my heart Katsuki Yuuri. You have my heart and I'm so terrified that I can't even tell you in person because maybe, I'm afraid to look into your eyes and discover the remotest possibility that you don't feel the same. And it's completely absurd, I know, because you were the first one to say that you were in love but I... I am as much in love with you as I ever thought possible to feel. I'm so in love with you that I'm willing to take that leap of faith.
So, will you take care of my heart?
PS. I'll be waiting for you in front of the fireplace in the main hall of the hotel at 9 o'clock».
Yuuri reread the letter for the tenth time, his heart was racing. He wanted to run to Yuri's room and erase all his fears with sweet kisses and soft words.
But, instead I hope...
Feeling the waiting time so long, that I couldn't even pay attention to Victor's last minute advice.
"Yuuri, you are too distracted", complained Victor finally during dinner, however, Yuuri could only think that there were forty minutes left for his meeting with Yuri.
"I'm sorry", he apologized, however, his eyes were still greedily looking at his watch. "I need to... address an issue and... I will do my best.
Victor sighed.
"I hope so", said his coach, then smiled at him, a playful smile that lit up his blue eyes in a mischievous way. "Now, why don't you join Yurio? I know you've been waiting a long time to do so and if you keep this up, you're going to get on my nerves".
Yuuri blushed, but still stood up, thanked Victor for his food and understanding, and walked to the hotel's main room.
And despite arriving fifteen minutes early, Yuri was already there, his eyes fixed on the flames.
His stomach turned over, he could feel his heart in a frantic race and he only knew that things would be different from now on.
As if Yuri could feel his presence, he turned his face in his direction.
A slightly embarrassed smile covered his features.
"You came", he sounded slightly surprised, as if he had really expected Yuuri to restrain himself after reading his letter, but how could he? Yes Yuuri was also terribly in love.
"I did it", he finally replied in front of Yura, his hands felt anxious to wrap him in their arms, and yet, there were still things to clear up.
Yuri nodded and looked at him in great detail, finally seeming to find in him the courage to say:
"Do you know what that means?" Yurio asked ambiguously, but Yuuri understood it well, so he squared his shoulders and nodded. Yuri sighed as if a load had been lifted from his shoulders and came one step closer. "Y... what do you say?"
"That I will do it until you want to leave your heart in my care and even if the day comes when you decide not to leave it in my hands, mine will always be yours", he pronounced with total conviction and Yuri smiled with his crystallized eyes.
"You are a romantic fool", pronounced Yura and finally he let himself be wrapped in Yuuri's arms.
Yuuri smiled lovingly.
"And yet, it was you who made all that analogy of giving away hearts", he murmured against his lips, and enjoyed the way his cheeks blushed.
"You are a fool, Katsudon", he muttered, and finally his lips were sealed in the expected kiss.
To love, for Yuri was terrifying, but, as long as Yuuri held his heart with gentle hands, jumping into the void did not seem so terrifying.