Hard to Believe

"Ok, go find mommy." Sean nodded, walking into the house with Mirren and Leela, holding their backpacks which they had both given him as soon as they got out the car.

"Mommy!" Five year old Leela called, running into the living room, stopping at the vivarium where Rex stayed in the corner, "Rex." Leela leaned up on her tip toes, tapping the glass as their bearded friend stayed peacefully still on his rock, "Daddy, he's on his rock." She turned back to Sean who was making his way into the living room with Mirren.

"He's always on his rock." Seven year old Mirren looked over at her little sister.

"What if mommy hasn't fed him." Leela worried.

"I'm sure she has." Sean nodded with confidence.

"Where is she?" Mirren asked.

"Jude." Sean called a little louder. Normally she heard them come in. Not that she rushed to greet him, but normally she missed the girls so much she came immediately to swaddle them up in a cuddle.

"Maybe she's sleeping." Leela said, kicking her converse off.

"It's during the day." Mirren shook her head just as Sean noticed AJ appear from the kitchen, which given what had gone on in the past six months, made him incredibly nervous.

"A!" Leela spotted as Mirren turned around with equal excitement.

"Hey, there's my girls." AJ smiled happily, catching them both in a hug, squeezing them tightly whilst Sean sat the girls backpacks on the couch.

"Is Papa here?" Leela bounced up and down excitedly. Sean looked over in fear of the answer.

"No, papa is in Chicago. He had to work but he told me to give you both the biggest hug." AJ nodded, hugging them again tightly.

"We were staying with daddy." Mirren told her.

"Where is mommy?" Leela asked.

"She's just gone out to the store. Hopefully to get us something good to eat for dinner, huh?" AJ smiled.

"You're staying?" Mirren asked hopefully.

"For a few days." AJ nodded as Sean looked over, watching AJ's eyes meet with his. He realised very quickly that what he had done not only had ruined his relationship with his wife, but his entire relationship with her family. They gave him more looks of disgust than Jude herself had, "Why don't you two go put your backpacks upstairs in your rooms." AJ suggested.

"Ok." Leela nodded, running over and grabbing her backpack as Mirren followed, disappearing upstairs whilst AJ stood back up straight, looking over at Sean who was playing with his car keys.

"Jude wasn't sure when you were dropping them off so I said I would wait in, she had a couple errands to run." AJ said as Sean nodded.

"I'm sure she's glad you're here." Sean said.

"And you're not?" AJ raised a sarcastic brow as Sean looked down.

"I uh… I should get going." He nodded.

"It's not me you should feel guilty around." AJ made clear.

"I feel guilty everywhere I go, don't worry." He assured her.

"Maybe having a conversation would help. Instead of just passing the girls between you both." AJ nodded.

"We've tried having conversations. I've tried." Sean nodded, "She gets upset-"

"Well what do you expect?" AJ questioned, "The biggest question she's gonna have for you is why? Why do that to her?" She shook her head as Sean sighed to himself.

"I just want you to know that I hate myself as much as you hate me." Sean nodded.

"Well then you must really hate yourself." AJ stared at him as he nodded.

"I should go." Sean said, "Tell Jude I'll probably be at the academy tomorrow, just to discuss when I'll pick the girls up next." He said, backing up towards the door.

"Sean." AJ said as he turned back around, "Can you just answer me one thing? Honestly?" She asked.

"What?" He said.

"Do you love my daughter? Right now." She said as Sean looked across at her.

"I love her more than anything in the world." Sean nodded sincerely as AJ looked at him, trying to assess his words, wondering if they were sincere or not. From what she could see, standing in front of her was a very sorry, confused and lost man.

She didn't say anything else to him before he turned around and left the living room, saying goodbye to the girls at the door before leaving.

"A! A, will you help us with our homework?" Mirren asked, coming through the living room with her sister, bringing AJ out of her thoughts as she watched them both.

"Yeah, of course." AJ smiled, "Let's go." She lead them into the kitchen.

"Chip?" Thea asked, extending the bag of chips out to her littlest sister as they sat on the wall outside the hospital having their lunch together.

"No, I'm good." Cassie said, "You busy in there?"

"Yeah. I guess not any more busy than the usual, though." Thea shrugged, "I'm head nurse of ICU now so it kinda takes me off the floor sometimes. Which is good."

"ICU must be tough, though." Cassie said as Thea nodded.

"Investigating a man strangling his wife to death must be tough too." Thea nodded.

"It's not really an investigation. It happened. We got him." Cassie said, "Gotta follow the rules and regs, though."

"Have you spoken with Theo yet? About the fertility stuff?" Thea asked.

"Yeah we spoke last night. I don't know why I thought he'd be mad. He wasn't. At all." Cassie said, "I think I'm more mad at myself."

"Why? It's not your fault. These things happen to plenty of women. And it doesn't mean it's impossible."

"Also doesn't mean it is possible." Cassie said, "It's a thin line, I guess."

"What are you gonna do then?" Thea asked.

"I think we're just… letting it simmer for now." Cassie nodded to her, "Maybe it's gonna be a case of… if it happens then it happens. If it doesn't then… it doesn't." She shrugged.

"And you're ok with that?" Thea asked.

"Do I have a choice?" Cassie questioned.

"Get a surrogate." Thea nodded, "I'll have your baby." She teased in a serious voice.

"No, that's weird." Cassie shook her head, "And I don't trust anything that cooks in your womb."

"Excuse you." Thea gasped as Cassie chuckled, "You don't trust my kids?"

"No." Cassie scoffed, "Well… I trust James, but that's because he's all Dominic. He's sweet." She nodded.

"You're the worst." Thea rolled her eyes, "I was kidding anyway. I ain't having any more babies let alone someone else's."

"Yeah, that's fair." Cassie nodded, "We could try IVF but… I don't know, it's all kinda overwhelming."

"You don't have to decide anything right now. It's a lot of information to take in." Thea nodded.

"I know." Cassie nodded, "Have you heard from Jude recently?"

"A couple of nights ago." Thea nodded, "She skyped me."

"Any progress with anything?" Cassie asked.

"Don't think so." Thea said, "She says every time they go to have a conversation it just ends in her crying." She said.

"Don't blame her." Cassie sighed, "I still can't really believe it." She admitted.

"Me neither." Thea shook her head.

"I mean… I know Sean. I know we all know him but I worked with him for a little while. He helped me with everything I needed in the academy. He's not a bad person." She shook her head, "I just don't understand. He loves Jude, right? I've not been blind to stuff over the years, have I?" She asked her sister. She knew she could live in her own little bubble sometimes and miss things around her.

"No." Thea shook her head, "He loves her. If he didn't Jude would notice. She notices everything." She nodded with confidence.

"So then what the hell happened?" Cassie shook her head.

"Well Jude did say that they were having some arguments but she didn't think it was anything bad enough to… have this be the outcome." Thea said, "I just hate him for doing this to her. She's been through enough and he damn well knows that. Maybe better than anyone."

"She's always been paranoid about… if he just stayed with her because of what happened." Cassie said.

"She's always been paranoid. Period." Thea said, "And this isn't gonna help. Cause even if she does take him back, she's just gonna be waiting on him doing it again."

"It could have just been a really stupid mistake." Cassie said.

"Really stupid." Thea nodded, "Do we forgive those kind of mistakes?"

"Is it up to us to forgive him?" Cassie asked her as Thea sighed. It was hard figuring out what opinions they have were valid or not.

"Well dad already has them divorced in his eyes." Thea scoffed.

"Of course he does." Cassie nodded, "I mean… he did warn them all before we got married."

"He should know a thing or two about second chances, though." Thea said, "They gotta have a conversation, I guess. Not talking about it isn't gonna get them anywhere at all."

"I don't know what I'd do if Theo told me he'd cheated on me." Cassie folded her arms, trying to imagine it, finding it too difficult.

"I'd find the nearest pair of scissors." Thea nodded as Cassie rolled her eyes.

"At least mom is out there with her right now. I'm sure she'll get some words of wisdom from her." Cassie nodded.

"Yeah, of course." Thea said, "Maybe we could go see her for a few days. Sister's only kind of deal." She nodded.

"If I can get out of work, sure." Cassie nodded, "At least I can really let my hair down now and have more than one alcoholic beverage, now I know that I'm probably not going to get pregnant."

"Yeah get drunk, it always helps." Thea nodded as Cassie nudged her with a smile, "Maybe if you guys stop trying so hard, it'll eventually happen." Thea said.

"Yeah a lot of people have said that." Cassie said, "I guess we'll need to wait and see." She said, hopping down from the wall, "Ok, I should get back to work."

"Is it a requirement for you to wear a suit or do you just like to look fancy?" Thea asked with a teasing smile.

"I'm done talking to you." Cassie hummed, "Put my rubbish in the trash." She told her, walking off as Thea threw her apple at her, "Don't! I bruise badly." Cassie whined as she ran off to her car, causing Thea to chuckle.

"I think we're getting too old for this." Dean nodded, sitting on his lunch break with his brother, aching his way over to the bench they always sat at down at the docks.

"Maybe." Punk thought about it.

"We should do what April is doing. Part-time." Dean said, opening his lunch up which Renee had packed for him.

"I wouldn't know what to do with myself, honestly." Punk admitted.

"Yeah I know what you mean." Dean said, "You spoke to April since she landed in New York?" He asked.

"She called last night just to let me know how Jude was." Punk nodded.

"And?" Dean waited.

"She's doing ok." Punk nodded, "Her and Sean just… aren't speaking about it."

"Is he staying at the house now or-"

"No he's still renting some apartment. They talk about the girls and that's it. So April tells me." Punk said.

"Well it's a lot to confront, I guess." Dean nodded, "If it's something they can work through then… that's good, right?"

"Work through it until it happens again?" Punk raised a brow.

"Well you don't gotta be negative." Dean scoffed, sharing his chips with him as Punk took some.

"I'm not being negative. I'm just worried and concerned for Jude." Punk said, "And I'm fucking sad for her." He shook his head. It had been an upsetting blow to hear what had happened with Jude and Sean. It was keeping him awake at night, thinking about his daughter and what she must be feeling like.

"We all are." Dean said, "He's a dick for what he did. And it's gonna be a long time before I shake his hand or… look his way." He assured him, "But… you gotta see it through Jude's eyes. She's got kids with him."

"I know." Punk nodded, "I know I'm trying." He said.

"Try harder." Dean mumbled as Punk stomped on his foot under the table.

"I just wanna know why." Punk shook his head, "Why do that to someone you're supposed to love?"

"You tell me." Dean raised a brow.

"No… no, see Thea said the same thing to me with the same look on her face." He pointed to Dean, "What happened with me and April wasn't like that. We weren't married. We were teenagers. We didn't have any children. And… she'd broken up with me-"

"Oh, yeah a whole three hours before." Dean rolled his eyes.

"Look, this isn't about me and Ape. It's different. They've been married for a long time." Punk said.

"So are a lot of people who cheat. It happens. Sometimes the relationship gets tough and some people can't take that and they go running elsewhere." Dean said, "Remember Danny who used to work down here?"

"Yeah." Punk recalled, "Dude who never shut up about his wife and kids?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded, "Cheated on her. I asked him what the fuck he was thinking and he just told me he wasn't. They had a bad fight and he couldn't cope with it." He shrugged, "I think they worked it out, though." He added.

"I'm not saying I don't believe people can cheat. I'm just saying… not on my daughter, alright?" He said with frustration as Dean nodded.

"What do you think she'll do? You're pretty close to her. We all know she's your favourite." Dean teased as Punk rolled his eyes.

"She's not my favourite." Punk scoffed at the ridiculous statement, "I don't know. I haven't actually spoken to her much. I kinda feel like I don't have much advice to offer her with this." He admitted.

"Maybe it's something she's just gotta figure out on her own." Dean nodded.

"Yeah, probably." Punk nodded, "April is probably better equipped for this kind of thing. I'm glad she's out there with her." He said as Dean nodded.

"She's a tough girl. She'll hold her own." Dean nodded confidently.