A/N Thank so much! Merle showed back up with some food, now what? First we're going to spend a little time with Beth and find out what her thoughts were when he left. We'll see how dinner goes and maybe we'll learn a little bit about each of their stories :) Enjoy!

00

If things had happened some other way she would have told him about Tommy beforehand. Maybe they could have talked about it. As it was, when she said she had to pick her little boy up at the babysitter she could see by the look on his face, it was the end of any interest he had in her.

It broke her heart but it didn't come as a shock or even a surprise. People had some pretty strong opinions of single Moms. Mostly negative.

The one she'd heard most often was, single Moms don't have a man at home to satisfy them anymore and they're desperate for sex. Men and women were equally guilty of saying things like, "She got used to it and now she has to have 'it.'" She wondered how people could be so dumb.

The other was that single Moms were all desperate to find a new husband, a man to support them and their kid. What man in his right mind wants to have to raise some other man's kids?

Landlords were by far the worst. The first thing they assumed was that a single mother was on welfare and would have trouble making the rent. Or that she'd have men over all the time, lots of different men because, after all, she was desperate for sex. Or, without a man around she would have no control over the children and they would wreck the place.

It was perfectly legal for a landlord to refuse to rent to a single mother. Beth was lucky in that when she found her place her brother happened to be home on leave. He went with her to check it out and agreed to sign a paper guaranteeing he would be responsible if she didn't pay the rent, or if she or her one month old infant caused any damages.

She was grateful to her brother and happy to have her own place, but the process was hurtful and humiliating.

When Merle looked at her the way he did in the truck she was sure he assumed all those things about her. It was worse when they got to her house. It was obvious he couldn't wait to get the heck out of there.

She appreciated that he remained a gentleman, and she was very grateful he'd offered to repair her car. But that didn't mean her heart didn't hurt. It didn't much matter though, she had to just keep doing the things she had to do.


The babysitter told her Tommy had a snack after his nap and shouldn't be hungry again for a while. So as soon as Merle left, Beth took advantage of that time to give the little boy his bath and get his pajamas on. Then she'd see what in the world she was going to find him for dinner. It was grocery day and since they hadn't been able to go to the store, the fridge and the cupboards were both nearly bare.

She'd just gotten Tommy's sleeper snapped when a knock on the door startled her. Who in the world would be coming out on a night like this? She nearly tipped over when she heard his voice and opened the door to see Merle Dixon standing there.

He didn't wait for an invitation, he kicked his boots against the jamb to knock off the snow and ice and walked right in. She didn't say a word, she simply closed the door against the cold. He was carrying a large cardboard box and she followed behind him as he walked to the kitchen area and set it down on the counter. It was then that he did what he did, he placed his hands on her face and his eyes were filled with concern when he said, "Let me help."

She felt happiness and relief, and she was emotional. She wrapped her arms around his waist and lay her head on his chest, then spoke, "Thank you Merle. I know we have a lot to talk about."

He wanted to hold her, he wanted so much more than just that, but there was a child in the room. Besides, she was right, there was a lot to talk about, "We do Beth, but not right now. I'm hungry and I know you and the boy must be hungry. Let's eat while the food's warm."

She pulled away and smiled, "Yes, and thank you so much for bringing it. I had no idea what I would find for Tommy to eat."

Her words sent a rush of guilt through him. He'd simply driven off and left her and the boy there alone. No wheels and no food, and during the storm of the century. What the fuck kind of certifiable asshole was he? He needed to work on that. He needed to work on a lot of things.

It was then the little guy tugged at his pant leg, "Les Pay."

Merle was confused when he looked at Beth and asked, "What does he mean, les pay?"

She smiled and said, "Let's play. He wants you to play cars with him, but please, don't feel you have to."

He didn't recall ever having had the freedom to just play, and such a simple request made him oddly nervous, but he said, "I ain't sure I know how, but I'll give it a try."

He'd swear her smile got brighter, "That's nice of you Merle. While you two play cars I'll get the food on the table." She tried not to let herself feel too happy about the way things were going. There was a very good chance he'd only felt concern for her and Tommy. He was just helping out and then he'd be gone again.

Yet as she dished up plates of pot roast, potatoes, carrots and green beans, she couldn't keep from watching them and smiling. She set the plates on the table, put the rolls in a dish and the gravy in a bowl and softly called, "Dinner's on."

Merle looked up and smiled, he was actually enjoying playing with the little guy. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. Wait a fucking minute. This was a little too much like playing house, way too close to the real deal. What did she think he was going to do? Pick up the toddler and take him to the table? And just look at her standing there by the dinner table looking so sweet and pretty. Nope. He couldn't be letting himself give into this.

He almost made up a lame excuse and bolted again. Then he admitted to himself he didn't want to leave. He stood, bent at the waist, picked the little boy up in his arms and said, "C'mon Tommy, Mama's got our supper on." And damn if he didn't kind of like the sound of that.

He set Tommy in his high chair, looked at her and smiled, "Thanks, it looks good."

She smiled back, "Well thank you, you did this. I only put the food on the table."

And he found himself flirting just a little, "Yeah well that'll make it taste a whole lot better."

As he buttered his roll he glanced at her plate. There didn't seem to be much food there. The little fella had some kind of special bowl that stuck right to the tray of his high chair, and he didn't have much either. Merle felt that guilt again, "Ya got my plate piled high and ya hardly took a thing for you and the boy. I don't want ya cheatin' yourself outta food."

She smiled and explained, "Merle, this is plenty of food for me and plenty for Tommy. You're a working man and a lot bigger than either of us, you need more food. We're getting enough to eat and there's quite a bit left in the containers if we're still hungry when we finish this. Oh, and speaking of that, I didn't miss that there's dessert and even fresh food for breakfast. Thanks to you we're eating very well. You can't imagine how much I appreciate this."

He smiled and joked a little, "Yeah well, it ain't the meal I wanted ta take ya out for, but at least I finally get ta have dinner with ya." And then he did something that caught even him by surprise, he reached over and softly ran his finger along Tommy's cheek and told the boy, "I didn't expect you ta be part of the deal either."

Beth had to look down, afraid Merle would see the tears in her eyes when she said, "The food is very good."

He shrugged, "It ain't bad for diner food." Now that they were sharing time together, and he'd discovered she had a child, he was anxious to learn more about her, "So whaddya you and Tommy usually do on a Friday evening?"

She seemed a little embarrassed, "I'm afraid it's nothing you'd find very exciting. We have a routine that never varies much, well not until tonight anyway. As soon as I pick him up we go right to the grocery store." She explains, "I get my check on Friday. Anyway, I pick up our groceries for the week and they cash my check for me."

She's certain he'll think she's the most boring woman he's ever met when she continues, "By the time we get home and I get everything put away we're both starving, so Friday night dinner is always the same thing. It's fast and it's simple, grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup."

She laughs and he likes that. She's a beautiful woman with a beautiful smile. She should laugh more. He smiles back and asks, "And then?"

"And then it's cleaning up the kitchen and getting Tommy in the bath and then in his pajamas. We go to bed pretty early around here. He's usually down by 7:30 and I'm sound asleep long before nine."

Merle smiles, "Yeah, I'm in bed pretty early myself. Construction work starts first thing." Then he glances at Tommy and asks her, "So is he housebroken?"

She almost spits out her bite of green beans, forces herself to chew and swallow quickly, and asks, "Do you mean potty trained? If so, then yes. Although I do put a diaper on him at night, just in case."

He tilts his head toward the baby, "How old is he?"

"He's two and a half."

Merle nods and asks, "How old are you Beth?"

She's starting to feel a bit like she's on trial, "I turned 22 last month, and how old are you Merle?"

"Too old. 35."

She's sure she knows what's coming when she asks, "Too old for what?"

"Too old for you."

She shrugs and says, "Is that so? My Daddy was 20 years older than my Mama."

"Whaddya mean by was? So you got no Mama and Daddy ta call on for help?"

She looks sad but not teary when she answers, "No, they passed not long after I graduated from high school. It was a car accident. I have a brother, Shawn, he's in the military. He's stationed over in Germany right now. I have a sister too, Maggie. She lives in Michigan and she's always trying to talk me into moving up there with her and Glenn."

She shrugs and says, "I guess I've been trying to prove I can do it all myself."

Then she returns his question, "What about you Merle? Do you have family?"

He's noticed the whole time they've been talking she's been caring for the child, making sure he eats a bite of this or that and takes a sip of his milk from his baby cup.

Meantime the question is a little tough, but he answers it, "My Mama died when I's 18, my old man a few years later." She's taken aback by the harshness of his next statement, "He wasn't worth cryin' over."

Then he smiles and she can hear the tone of his voice change. He sounds happy, "I got a little brother, Daryl. He's a good boy, just turned 25. He works for me and I wouldn't wanna do what I do without him."

Then he nods toward Tommy and asks the question she'd been dreading, "What about this fella's Daddy? Is he in the picture?"

"No, but maybe we should talk about that after Tommy's asleep."

He scoots his chair back, stands and agrees, "Yeah, you're right. Lemme help ya clear the table and we'll have some a that pie. You n Tommy eat pie don't ya?"

"Yes, thank you and I can get the table cleared Merle, you relax."

His brow furrows, "I can clean up after myself, been doin' it my whole life. How bout I get the table and you get the pie?"

It's after the pie is finished and the dishes are cleared that he shocks her. "I tell ya what. Ya been away from your boy all day, why don't ya play with him a while and I'll get these dishes."

She's stunned. What man does dishes? "No Merle, I can't ask you to do the dishes."

"Ya didn't ask, and why can't I do em? I know how, and I like doing em. My hands get calloused and rough from work and the hot soapy water makes em feel better. Anyway, ya need ta spend time with your boy." It sounds lame even to him and there he is again, being a puss.

"If you're sure…"

"I'm sure, it must be hard on ya bein' away from the little guy so much."

Again she feels herself get teary-eyed. As rough and tough as Merle seems, he also seems to always have a way of picking up on how she feels. He understands. He's nothing like the man Phillip Blake warned her he was.

She wishes she'd known before what a creep that guy is, and then she realizes, oh God no, she's going to have to see him again on Monday. She tries to put that thought out of her mind and just think about how nice this evening was.

It was so good to have the time with Tommy, she usually feels so rushed when they get home in the evening. It's nice to be able to simply sit and play, but she can't quite keep from stealing glances at Merle as he works in the kitchen. It seems he can't help looking over his shoulder and glancing at her either.

They just kept catching each other looking, and then they smile.

Again she reminds herself, nothing that has happened or is happening that evening means this is their happy little home. She remembers the look on his face when she first mentioned her little boy. For now he's probably just being kind and very helpful. But this is only one evening. Who knows if he's interested in actually getting involved.

Shortly after the dishes are done she takes Tommy in her arms and tells Merle, "I'll be back in 10 or 15 minutes. I'm just going to take Tommy to the bathroom and then put him down for the night."

"Oh yeah, well ya do whatever ya gotta do. I'll wait right here for ya."

He sits on the couch and takes a long hard look around. The place is small and the furniture worn. There's the little L-shaped kitchen area and the small living area, one wide but not too deep a room. The whole place holds only a tiny kitchen table with two chairs and a high chair, a sofa barely big enough for two, an armchair and a couple small side tables. That fills it up. But he has to admit, she's got it feeling cozy.

There's a doorway that enters into a bathroom so small a person can barely turn around in it. It holds just a toilet, sink and a small shower. He saw there was a plastic tub on the floor of the shower, that must be where she bathe's Tommy. There's no linen storage, no cabinet.

The other door he's certain leads to the one and only bedroom, she and the boy must share.

It's plenty. It's enough. He's seen much worse setups, shit, he's lived in plenty of shitholes that weren't fit for animals much less kids. Shacks that should have been torn down long before. This place is a palace compared to any of those. None of that makes a difference in the way he feels. He's agitated, this place isn't good enough for her.

A woman like her deserves so much more.

He's lost in his thoughts when he hears that pretty sound and realizes it's her. She's singing her boy to sleep. He can't help but smile at the sweet purity of her voice. It's soothing and he thinks Tommy's a lucky guy, he wouldn't mind falling asleep to that himself.

She's quite the Mommy, quite the woman. She hasn't stopped all day, he doubts she ever gets much rest. That's what's on his mind when she comes quietly walking back in the room, leaving the bedroom door just slightly ajar.

He speaks as softly as he can, "Come sit with me Beth." She's happy he asked, she'd planned to sit in the chair because she didn't want to seem too forward. Still she doesn't sit too close. She stays as far to the other side as possible. He looks at her and smiles, "I ain't gonna bite ya, come sit next ta me." Then his brow creases and he adds, "I mean unless you'd rather not."

She doesn't answer out loud, she answers in what she does. She gets up and moves next to him and he smiles as he drapes his arm across her shoulders and asks, "So, what happened Beth? How did ya wind up with a baby and no man around?"

His question is right to the point, no polite dancing around the issue. She'll tell him, but before she trusts him with her story she has questions of her own. "I'll tell you everything Merle, but first I want to know a thing or two from you."

He's waiting for it, whatever it is, and she continues, "There's one reason I was reluctant to go out with you from the start. Well not just you, anyone. Tommy. I just couldn't put him or me in any kind of situation that wouldn't be good for us. I hope you understand."

It doesn't surprise him at all, she's a good and concerned Mama, he's witnessed that all evening. The truth of the matter is, with the way he's always felt about having kids and all the entanglements of any relationship, if she would have told him about the child way back the first time he asked her out, he might not have ever set foot in Cattle Rustlers again. It's hard to know. "Fair enough Beth, ask."

Then she tells him everything the bartender told her. It's good he's not drinking because he's so angry he's ready to go find that son of a bitch and break him in two, but he's not going to do it tonight. For now he does his best to swallow all that anger down.

Tonight is about him and Beth getting honest with each other.

He also gets that she's being careful, protecting herself and her child and he appreciates that. He wishes his own Mother had been protective like that with him and Daryl. He says to her, "You ask away and I'll tell ya the truth Beth. I ain't gonna try and hide anything from ya."

The first question she has is about the thing that scared her the most, the bartender saying Merle used drugs. That he was even a drug dealer and that he'd been in prison. As hard as it is to ask him about those things, she does.

What happened, happened. There's no sense in lying about it and he doesn't bother. He's almost matter of fact when he states, "No excuses here, just tellin' you the facts. I had a pretty rough comin' up. My Mama drank too much and my Daddy drank and did a lot of dope. He liked ta beat on his family and that's just how it was."

"So, I got the hell out of there as soon as I could, but by then I already had my share of bad habits too. I was always looking for a fight and I had developed a taste for speed – pills. Amphetamines. They made me even more inclined ta fight."

"Anyway, I was just over 18 when I got popped by the cops. I had a little something in my pocket. An aluminum foil packet folded up nice n neat with several a them pills inside. They call em Black Beauties. A couple of those deals would keep a guy spinnin' all day and night. Anyway, it wasn't even illegal ta have em, but they said the amount of em I had and the cash in my pocket made it clear I was a drug dealer."

He shook his head, "Sometimes being a Dixon just made em think you were guilty, ya didn't have ta be. Anyway, like I said, it ain't illegal to possess them and I didn't do hard time, ya know, prison. I did six months in the county lockup. So, I's 18 then, I'm 35 now and I ain't done any dope since I got out. Not cuz I'm some kind of upstanding guy, but because I didn't wanna turn into my old man. So, I got work doing construction and I started at the bottom of the pile, being the gopher and doin' all the rotten jobs."

"I's also doing what I could ta help my brother out. He was just a little kid and I couldn't do too much, but I made sure he had a decent set of clothes and food on his belly. Other than that I lived in the cheapest way I could and saved all my money. I knew I wanted sumthin' more for myself and for Daryl." He smiles at her and he's honest, "That doesn't mean I didn't act like a complete dumb ass plenty of times, I sure did."

"But I never did the dope and never went to jail again. When I was 25 I paid a lawyer a tidy sum of money and he got my record expunged on some kind of technicality. I knew I needed ta do that if I wanted to appear ta be a responsible citizen and get my business going."

He drew in a deep breath and continued, "We're being honest though, so I'm gonna admit to ya. When I was 26 I took a buncha money off some guys in a backroom card game, in other words, it wasn't legal. See, I knew a lot about playin' poker. I'd watched my old man and his crowd play for years. I'd even played a few hands with em. No one was more ruthless than them guys."

"Anyway, here was this underground card game with some pretty high rollers. In certain circles it was legendary. They played on the regular and it was all high stakes. I wanted in bad, I thought if I could make some money I'd be in tall cotton. A buddy I knew got me in on it. I played with em for three days straight, then I walked away. I left the game with five grand more than I walked in with. I ain't ever gambled since, legal or illegal. Again that ain't cuz I'm a righteous man, that's cuz I didn't wanna be anythin' like my old man."

"I put that money I made gamblin' with the money I'd been saving and started my business. I keep myself, my brother and a crew of men working for a fair wage. That's more than I thought I'd ever be able ta do back when I was a teenager doin' speed."

"So there it is, I ain't tryin' to come off like some kind of choir boy, that ain't me. There's been times I been a real bad man. I done a lotta things I shouldn't have, that's a fact I'm not denying. I've grown up a lot since those days. I'm 35 years old with a business ta run and guys depending on me. Except for occasionally havin' too much ta drink, I mostly keep my nose clean."

There was a lot he said that made her anxious, the beatings he endured, the drugs and jail time and the gambling, especially for so much money. What she appreciated and admired was that he'd told her everything and he was so honest. She smiled, "I'm impressed Merle, you built quite a life for yourself. But what about…"

She couldn't say it, couldn't ask. It didn't matter, he knew what she wanted to know, "The women?"

She still didn't ask it, she simply nodded her head. He was planning on being honest with her, because when it was his turn to ask questions he wanted honesty from her.

00

A/N So far, so good. Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. As usual, the chapter photo is on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick, please check it out. I hope to see you all back next week for more of Let Me Help and Merle's story. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee