The light of dawn seeped into the room and omitted a pearly glow, one that screamed 'a new day'. I rubbed my bleary eyes, taking a moment to realise where I am. I noticed the absence of the usual dawn chorus of melodic birdsong that I would hear on campus. Golden fingers of sunlight sprawled into the room. I padded over to the floor to ceiling windows of Jacob's room. The just-risen sun shone softly on the city streets below, bringing with it a flurry of early-morning activity. I see two friends slide into the back of a cab together. Could this be a cosmic sign? One thing's for sure last night was a mistake, one that I would run from forever. One that I need to... have to, forget. Silently, I get dressed into my clothes from yesterday. I would have to brave the morning chill, as the black mini dress left my legs, arms and some cleavage exposed and at the mercy of mother nature. After collecting all my belongings, I made a shameful walk through the lobby and out onto the New York streets. I look at my phone, it's 7:00 am, and I decide on taking the subway back to school, as after that excessive shopping spree the other day, I have little to no money to spare.
The noise inside the cabin was minimal, which left my loud thoughts to bombard me. Guilt paraded around my conscience until I felt physically sick and infected all areas of rationality. Aside from the sound of the train moving speedily along the one-way track, hurdling it's self forward, with one direction and only one destination. When I checked my phone there were 14 missed calls from Jacob, a text from my mom, once from Spencer...and one missed call from Becky. Thank God the train pulled to the station at that moment, because I rushed from the platform to the nearest bathroom and sobbed. I new how much separation Becky needed from her brother, and how, when we were only 12 years old, I promised her that she would be the only Reynolds I love. I checked my moms text first, 'Miss you honey, hope you had a good sleep x'. Sitting in the disgusting toilet of the restroom, I pulled my knees up to my chest and began to cry.
I walked out of the bathroom with my head down, I didn't even notice the man standing in front of me. I walked into his sturdy frame, "I am so sorry," I apologised profusely, "I wasn't watching where I was going." The guy was tall and had the complex of a marine. However, the expensive suit he wore, slightly threw me off.
He spoke into the head piece in his ear, "I found her."
"Excuse me?" I ask confused. When he doesn't respond, I try to step around him but he blocks my path. When I turn around to go the other way, I see Jacob walking towards me, looking as composed and dangerous as ever. "Jacob," I whispered under my breath, his divine looks always had the effect of making my heart skip a beat. As he walked, both women and men stared, enticed by his heavenly beauty, and devilish appeal. I looked back and forth between the tall, brooding man and Jacob, who was now only ten meters away. The man steps back ever so slightly, and I take it as an opportunity to run. I removed my heels, and head fast to the door. Unlike the attention which Jacob drew, I looked psychotic and as if I was off my meds. My mascara was still smudged from last night, hair unbrushed, eyes red and puffy, and not to mention I was running through a train station. When I made it outside, I got into a stationary cab, and told him to go the university.
Jacob got the door and banged on it, yelling, "Emma. Please, open the door. Mi amor, please?" his tone soft with anguish.
"Drive," I instructed nonchalantly to the driver. He pulled away from the curb leaving Jacob alone on the sidewalk, with onlookers still staring from his scene.
Back at the university, I went straight to my room, and started on my Arts and Humanitarian paper. I chose a more political and statistical approach, highlighting how consistent and present sexual assault is amount women, which was demonstrated by the statistically high chanace of two strangers, that met and were both survivors. After about two hours of doing such, I hear a knock on the door, I go to open it, and in walks Becky. My face drains of blood. When a person is guilty, it is not so much so the sin which they hate, but themselves, and at his very moment I loathed myself. "Hey girly," Becky chirps and sits on my bed. "I haven't seen you in a minute." Unable at first to speak past the lump in my throat, I walk over to my bed which she plopped herself on, and hugged her. "Hey, if I knew you would mss me this much, I would have suggested we hung out more," she laughed.
I stood back up and sat at the chair near my desk. Sitting down still hurt, which I'm sure is Gods way for punishing me for last night. "Of course I miss you Becky, hardly ever see you anymore," I pout.
"Trust me, I know. But I really wish you could see the fun in parties. We could have so much fun together."
"Yeah, Maybe. I just don't know if it's 100% my scene, so much as it is yours."
"You can grow to love it!" she begged.
Seeing how much she wanted this, and knowing that I owed her for eternity, I said, "Alright, but I do have a political science class at 7 tonight, so I promise tomorrow night because I don't have classes the next day anyway."
"Yay!" se squealed. For the next two hours we sat in my room talking, gossiping, and for a while it felt normal. Of course, that was until someone knocked on the door. My heart leapt into my throat, and I moved backwards from the door as far as I could. Jacob had his hands on the door frame, and gave me a look that spoke a thousand words.
I could tell he was about to yell at me or say something we were both going to regret, so I quickly said, "Becky, It's your brother," acting as surprised as Jacob really was.
"Jacob?" she questioned as he walked into the room. He was now changed into something much more casual, a grey V-neck t-shirt, Dark blue denim jeans which match his eyes, a pair of shades covering his very recognisable face, and a black cap. Though nothing could make him look more sexy than in a suit, this outfit had no short comings and he looked just as delectable as ever. "What are you doing here?"
Thinking quickly as he did, "I needed to drop off your suitcases that you didn't bring. But then half way over here I realised that left them back home, soo I decided I'll just come and see you. But when you weren't in your room,I thought you'd be in here with, Emma." I sighed, relieved that our friendship would remain the same for another day. "How come you didn't tell Emma I was doing the lecture for her business class?"
Her face lit up with a playful smile, "Thought I'd let surprise you both." "Well, Emma and I were just leaving to English anyway, but see you around?"
"Yeah," he went up and hugged Becky, his eyes locking with mine, literally behind her back, and I looked away, as they brought up to many memories from last night.
--
When 7:00pm rolled around, it was time for my Political Science class. I know that the assignment for this semester revolved around work experience, which the teacher would delegate at the beginning of class. "Hello, my name is Dr Andrew Henderson, I am the professor who will be teacher your class this semester. Over this course 'Law, Politics, and Justice' you will be placed into a work environment as interns at a law firm. There, you will be assessed by a mentor, and myself. You will be assigned to a company and present your project over the semester to me as a portfolio." I feel pumped, excited, more alive than I had ever thought possible. All the mundane worries of my life had been muted and all there was to know about was what came next for me. No worrying about the past, just hope and giddy anticipation for the future. It the end of the lesson, after Dr Henderson had explained in detail the task, he said, "Alright, I'm going to come around to each of you and hand you a brief of the firm you are going to be working at. For some of you, you may need to re-arrange your other classes, but most of you will find that the program fits neatly into your schedule. Some of you may find that you'll be working at the same firm, but all of you have different projects." He called out each of our names individually, and one by one we collected our briefs and left.
I flicked through the pages as if they were a timeless relic. The firm I would be working at is 'Grey and Lehman'. Wow, I hadn't realised that we would be working at top tier law firm, 'Grey and Lehman' were the best of the best. I looked at my roster for the job, and noticed that my first sit-in was tomorrow, though the company name wasn't disclosed, the CEO is supposed to be at the meeting, hence my presence is mandatory. My mentors name would be Grayson Sommers, who was a senior partner, only age 31. Walking back to my dorm, I had a bounce in my step and a sway in my hips. I feel like every fiber of my being was vibrating with anticipation. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins and my eyes are wide. 'This is what a cat must feel like waiting to pounce on a mouse,' I think to myself.
I walked back to my dorm room with a bounce in my step and a sway in my hips, I felt like I was on an endorphin high, and for the first time I could see clearly, and visualise the rest of my life without even a shadow of a doubt. But in the true spirit of the saying, 'all good things must come to an end' when I open my door, to my chagrin, lying on my bed, smugly fiddling with my toy bear 'teddy'-real original, I know- was Jacob. I let out a shriek when I first saw him, startled by his presence. "What the hell!" I gasped, placing a hand over my racing heart. I stalked towards him, dumping my folder on the way and snached the bear from his clutches.
Jacob glanced over and his lips curved into a slow, heart-stopping smile when he saw me. He said nothing until I stared at him with impatience and he finally asked, "Are you with anyone?"
The question was asked so casually it took a second to process what he'd said. I inhaled sharply. "Why is that any business of yours?"
He looked at me and I saw what I'd seen the first time we'd been together, - tremendous power and steely control. Both of which had me taking an involuntary step back. Again. At least I didn't fall this time; I was making progress. The vivid memory seared into my mind. He was my first, but it was also the last time I would ever let us be together intimately. The space between my legs was still sore from last night, and while it had been slightly painful at first, I now know what I had been missing for the past few years of my life.
Becky however had been with her first when she was only 12, and she recounted the experience as rushed, underwhelming and uncomfortable. Henric Newman was his name, and he was then to go on telling anything that breathed that he had sealed the deal with her. I sometimes think that was the catalyst for her 'sexually active' life with multiple partners. and I wish she didn't give Henric the satisfaction of letting that one time shape her reputation and personality.
"Because I want to fuck you again, Emma. I need to know what's standing in my way, if anything."
The sudden ache between my thighs had me reaching for the wall to maintain my balance. He reached out to steady me, but I held him at bay with an uplifted hand. "Maybe I'm just not interested, Jacob." A ghost of a smile touched his lips and made him impossibly more handsome. Dear God...
Jacob caught me by the upper arms and searched my face with that heavy blue gaze of his. "Something's wrong. What is it?"
The now-familiar electricity crackled to life between us, the pull made fiercer by my temper. "You."
"Me?" His thumbs stroked over my shoulders.
He wore black again, with fine gray pinstripes. Just as I remembered his shoulders were nicely broad without being bulky, emphasizing his lean waist and long legs. The silky strands of hair falling over his eyes tempted me to clench them and pull. Hard. I wanted him as pissed as I was. I wanted a fight. Except why. I wasn't pissed in the sense that I was angry, more so desiring...no...craving?
"I'm not in the mood for you now, Jacob."
He watched the antique-style needle above the doors mark the passing floors. "I can get you in the mood."
"I'm not interested."
He glanced over his shoulder at me. His shirt and tie were both the same awesome cerulean as his irises. The effect was striking. "No lies, Emma. Ever."
"That's not a lie. So what if I'm attracted to you? I expect most women are. But I'm not interested in doing anything about it. Becky's my best friend, and you're her brother. That's just how it is."
He faced me then, turning in a leisurely pivot, that ghost of a smile softening his sinful mouth. His ease and unconcern aggravated me further. "Attraction is too tame a word for" - he gestured at the space between us - "this. So we can't fuck because of my sister?" he said too tamely.
"Yes! No! Haven't you considered that maybe.I just don't want to sleep with a self-centered arrogant asshole? Call me crazy, but I have to actually like someone before I get naked and sweaty with them."
"Not crazy," he said. "But I don't have the time or the inclination to date."
"That makes two of us. Glad we got that cleared up."
He stepped closer, his hand lifting to my face. I forced myself not to move away or give him the satisfaction of seeing me intimidated. His thumb brushed over my lip; then lifted to his own. He sucked on the pad and purred, "Memories. Delicious."
His gaze darkened and his voice lowered intimately. "Romance isn't in my repertoire, Emma. But a thousand ways to make you come are. Let me show you."
I backed into the corner and shooed him out with a flick of my wrist. "I'm really not interested."
"How can I make you interested? What are your objections and how do I get around them? It's time to discuss what it's going to take to get you beneath me."
"A miracle." I pushed back from him, widening the space between us. I tugged at the hem of my emerald green skirt, wishing I'd worn pants instead. "I find your approach crude and offensive." And a major turn-on, but I was never going to admit it.
He contemplated me with narrowed eyes. "It may be blunt, but it's honest. You don't strike me as the kind of woman who wants bullshit and flattery instead of the truth."
"What I want is to be seen as having more to offer than an inflatable sex doll. And the fact that you really think that I don't want to be romanced and be in love is not only insulting, for the fact you think I'm that kind of girl and you've known me forever. But also a clear example that we aren't in anyway compatible for each other and you know nothing about me."
Jacob's brows shot up. "Well, then."
"Are we done?" I stood.
Wrapping my wrist with his fingers, he pulled me down onto my bed. "Hardly. We've established some talking points: We have an intense sexual attraction which I want to explore and you don't. Do you see the dilemma here. So what will it take exactly? Seduction, Emma? Do you want to be seduced?"
I was equally fascinated and appalled by the conversation. And, yes, tempted. It was hard not to be while faced with such a gorgeous, virile male so determined to get hot and sweaty with me. Still, the dismay won out. "Sex that's planned like a business transaction is a turnoff for me."
"Establishing parameters in the beginning makes it less likely that there'll be exaggerated expectations and disappointment at the conclusion."
"Are you kidding?" I scowled. "Listen to yourself. Why even call it a fuck? Why not be clear and call it heterosexual penetration of genitalia?" He pissed me off by throwing his head back and laughing. The full, throaty sound flowed over me like a rush of warm water. My awareness of him heightened to a physically painful degree. His earthy amusement made him less sex god and more human. Flesh and blood. Real. I pushed to my feet and backed out of reach. "Casual sex doesn't have to include wine and roses, but for God's sake, whatever else it is, sex should be personal. Friendly even. With mutual respect at the very least."
His humor fled as he stood, his eyes darkening. "There are no mixed signals in my private affairs. You want me to blur that line. I can't think of a good reason to."
"I don't want you to do jack shit, besides let me get back to school work." I strode to the desk cursing softly when he pulled my by my wrist back to him. "Let me go, Jacob."
I felt him come up behind me. His palms pressed flat to the wall on either side of my shoulders, caging me in. I couldn't think of my own self-preservation when he was so close. The strength and demand of his will exuded an almost tangible force field. When he stepped close enough, it surrounded me, closing me in with him. Everything outside of that bubble ceased to exist, while inside it my entire body strained toward his. That he had such a profound, visceral effect on me while being so damn irritating had my mind spinning. How could I be so turned on by a man whose words should've turned me completely off? Turn around, Emma."
My eyes closed against the surge of arousal I felt at his authoritative tone. God, he smelled good. His powerful frame radiated heat and hunger, spurring my own wild desire for him. I wanted him. Bad. But he was no good for me. Honestly, I could screw up my life on my own. I didn't need any help.
My flushed forehead touched cool white wall. "Let it go, Jacob."
"I can't." His lips brushed behind my ear. One of his hands pressed flat to my stomach, the fingers splaying to urge me back against him. He was as aroused as I was, his cock hard and thick against my lower back. "At least turn around and say goodbye," he mutters. Disappointed and regretful, I turned in his grip, sagging against the wall to cool my heated back. He was curved over me, his forearm propped against the wall to bring him closer. I had almost no room to breathe. The hand he'd had at my waist was now resting on the curve of my hip, tightening reflexively and driving me mad. He stared, his gaze searingly intense, "Kiss me," he said hoarsely. "Give me that much."
Panting softly, I licked my dry lips. He groaned, tilted his head, and sealed his mouth over mine. I was shocked by how soft his firm lips were and the gentleness of the pressure he exerted. I sighed and his tongue dipped inside, tasting me in long leisurely licks. His kiss was confident, skilled, and just the right side of aggressive to turn me on wildly, then my hands were in his hair. I pulled on the silky strands, using them to direct his mouth over mine. He growled, deepening the kiss, stroking my tongue with lush slides of his own. I felt the raging beat of his heart against my chest, proof that he wasn't just a hopeless ideal conjured by my fevered imagination.
He pushed away from the wall. Cupping the back of my head and the curve of my buttocks, he lifted me off my feet. "I want you, Emma. Trouble or not, I can't stop."
I was pressed full-body against him, achingly aware of every hot, hard inch of him. I kissed him back as if I could eat him alive. My skin was damp and too sensitive, my breasts heavy and tender. My clit throbbed for attention, pounding along with my raging heartbeat. I was vaguely aware of movement, and then the bed was against my back. Jacob was levered over me with one knee on the cushion and the other foot on the floor. His left arm supported his torso while his right hand gripped the back of my knee, sliding upward along my thigh in a firmly possessive glide.
His breath hissed out when he reached the point where my garter clipped to the top of my silk stocking. He tore his gaze away from mine and looked down, pushing my skirt higher to bare me from the waist down. "Jesus, Emma." A low rumble vibrated in his chest, the primitive sound sending goosebumps racing across my skin.
In a daze, I watched Jacob's body lower to mine, my legs sliding apart to accommodate the width of his hips. My muscles strained with the urge to lift toward him, to hasten the contact between us that I'd been craving since I first laid eyes on him. Lowering his head, he took my mouth again, bruising my lips with a fine edge of violence.
Abruptly, he yanked himself away, stumbling to his feet. I lay there gasping and wet, so willing and ready. Then I realized why he'd reacted so fiercely. Someone was behind him.
Mortified by the sudden intrusion into our privacy, I scrambled up and back into the bed frame, yanking down my skirt.
"Woahh sock on the door nextime newbie!" My roommate yelled as she back out of the room laughing.
Jacob stood at the far end of the sofa, flushed and scowling, his chest heaving. His tie was loosened and the fly of his slacks strained against a very impressive erection. I had a nightmare vision in my head of what I must look like. And I was late getting to start my school work.
"Christ." He shoved both hands through his hair. "It's the middle of the fucking day. In a Goddamn fucking door room!"
I got to my feet and tried to straighten my appearance. "Here." He came to me, yanking my skirt up again.
Furious at what I'd almost let happen when I should be studying and staying the hell away from him, I smacked at his hands. "Stop it. Leave me alone."
"Shut up, Emma," he said grimly, catching the hem of my black silk blouse and tugging it into place, adjusting it so that the buttons once again formed a straight row between my breasts. Then he pulled down my skirt, smoothing it with calm, expert hands. "Fix your ponytail." Jacob retrieved his coat, shrugging into it before adjusting his tie. I nearly ran to the door, desperate to get rid of him. He caught my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Hey," he said softly. "You okay?"
My throat burned. I was aroused and mad and thoroughly embarrassed. I'd never in my life lost my mind like that. And I hated that I'd done so with him, a man whose approach to sexual intimacy was so clinical it depressed me just thinking about it. Sexual intimacy? Until yesterday, that words had no purpose being in my life, who the hell does it think it is to impose on me? And like this? I jerked my chin away. "Do I look okay?"
"You look beautiful and fuckable. I want you so badly it hurts. I'm dangerously close to taking you back to the bed and making you come 'til you beg me to stop."
"Can't accuse you of being silver-tongued," I muttered, aware that I wasn't offended. In fact, the rawness of his hunger for me was a serious aphrodisiac. Clutching my waist, I stood on shaky legs. I needed to get away from him. And, when my workday was done, I needed to be alone with aspirin.
Jacob stood with me. "I'll be done work by six. I'll come get you then."
"No, you won't. This doesn't change anything."
"The hell it doesn't."
"Don't be arrogant, Jacob. I lost my head for a second, but I still don't want what you want."
His fingers curled around the door handle. "Yes, you do. You just don't want it the way I want to give it to you. So, we'll revisit and revise."
More business. Cut-and-dried. My spine stiffened. I set my hand over his and yanked on the door handle, ducking under his arm He caught me before i opened the door, his arm crossing my lower back to grip my hip. "Six o'clock, Emma."
"I'm busy."
"Tomorrow, then."
"I'm busy all weekend."
Stepping in front of me, he asked tightly, "With whom?"
"That's none of your - "
His hand covered my mouth. "Don't. Tell me when, then. And before you say never, take a good look at me and tell me if you see a man who's easily deterred." His face was hard, his gaze narrowed and determined. I shivered. I wasn't sure I'd win a battle of wills with Jacob Reynolds. Placing on some shades and a baseball cap to protect his anonymity, I watched as his arms flexed under his shirt and coat with each individual movement.
Swallowing, I waited until he lowered his hand and said, "I think we both need to cool off. Take a couple days to think. Goodbye." I said forcefully and practically shoved him out of the room the room. Only then had realised the breath I had been holding.