Chapter 4
Loki sat by Iris' side for weeks. She had had life threatening injuries. Internal bleeding, broken bones, surgery after surgery. All to repair the damage they had done.
Scott had kept true to his word and had sent the Avengers the recording of her torture. All for the Tesseract, which was in position by SHIELD. Loki would have traded it for the girl in a heartbeat. He would not have even thought about it. He would not have second guessed his decision. Come hell or high water, he would have done whatever it took to see the girl safe and well. He would have given her the Earth if that is what she had asked for. The one thing, though, that she had asked him for was his love; and he had said no. Like the bloody fool he had said no. Too worried about his own pain, his own failings in life. The one time that she needed him, he had been unable to help. If it were not for the fact that he was completely and hopelessly in love with the girl, he would not have tried to reach her at that moment. That split second, he at least had been able to help her, much to no avail. Loki was not totally sure he could be held accountable for it though, even if some of the other Avenger's did.
A few times it had been touch and go. With the many machines Iris had been hooked up to, her subconscious had reacted negatively, and a few times her powers had sent more than a handful of them flying about the place. It was something they had all adjusted to. Something that would probably continue for a long time, until she was fully healed physically and mentally.
"Brother, you are starting to attract flies. Go, shower, eat something. I will stay with her. If there are any changes, I will let you know." Thor watched his brother closely. The only time Loki had left her side was to relieve his bladder.
"No. I will not leave, not now," he murmured. Every so often, Loki would watch the heartbeat monitor. It was a constant back and forth. He rarely spoke. He barely moved. Thor was sure his brother did not eat either, unless someone brought him food.
The monitor skipped a beat. Both men snapped to watch it. It was at times a tell that her powers were going to go.
"Brother, speak again," said Thor. Loki looked at him, a look that would tell the world he had lost all hope but was hanging on. Barely.
"It was probably nothing, Thor. It has happened before. A mere coincidence, I am sure." Loki looked at the floor, back to Iris, and then dared to peak at the monitor. Sure enough, hear heart rate increased infinitesimally. Slowly it crept up, until Iris let out an ear-splitting scream. Loki immediately took her hand, trying to get a read on her thoughts.
"I will get Banner immediately," Thor said, panicking.
Iris twitched and thrashed about, crying and muttering jumbled sentences. Loki could not see in, but he could tell she was obviously reliving the torture.
"No, please get away...! I need to get out of here …. Urgh, no more, please … please I can't take it anymore… Kill me, someone," her voice was raspy, and strained. Iris attempted to get up off the bed, but she was still so weak. She began pulling out wires and tubes, she was freaking more. Her eyes fluttered open, closed, open, closed.
"Iris, I'm here. It's ok, you're safe, I'm here," Loki said. She looked at him, but she was not there. A waking nightmare, it must have been.
As she got more agitated, so did her powers. Things started floating centimetre by centimetre into the air. The machines were crackling and sparking, and Loki tried his best to counter act whatever she was doing to them, but her subconscious power was unrivalled. It had no perceivable limits.
Iris eyes went completely black. Her voice changing completely. "We are losing control of the body. Help us. Please, help us!" Loki stared at the Iris that was not Iris, confused. He heard a cry from down the hall.
"Distract her damnit, calm her down!" cried Nat. So, Loki done just that. He grabbed Iris by either side of her face and kissed her. He put every ounce of magic he had into that kiss. Reminding her who he was, where she was. Speaking to her on a level that her subconscious understood and responded too. Everything dropped to the ground. Her eyes fluttered once more, and he could see the understanding that now reflected in her eyes as the darkness faded. She was with him, and he could not help but place his forehead against her own. He breathed a sigh of relief.
"You're fine, you're safe, I'm here," he repeated in a low quiet voice. He would not show others this side of him. It was their little thing, and he intended to keep it that way. The unspoken words that passed between them, a silent conversation only the two would understand, the meanings behind what was being passed between them. Iris felt relief. She felt elated to be seeing him again. She was alive. He was alive. She was safe. He was safe – for now. Though Iris knew she would be plagued by memories of the other Iris.
"I swear to fuck, if you leave me now, as soon as I can get up from this God-damn bed you are dead meat walking, Laufeyson," Iris muttered. Loki could not help but smirk.
"I wasn't planning on it, darling; but I might just to see what you would do. I always liked your feisty side," he replied, almost as weakly. The shared a small giggle, and he gently helped her into a more comfortable position.
"I feel like I've been hit by a freight train. I need vodka," Iris voice was still raspy.
"Definitely not," Loki snickered.
Iris had officially been cleared to leave the medical wing of the compound almost three months after the event. She still had a lot of physical therapy to go through, not to mention the effort it took her to use her powers. She knew it was a direct result of the trauma she had gone through, but she refused to talk about it. It was embarrassing enough that no one would let her train, even if she could. There was a weakness now, that went bone deep. Sometimes she could barely manage the walk from her bedroom to the kitchen. She never let it show though, not even to Loki. She would not show them how much it had affected her. Iris was determined to get out there, and to take HYDRA down once and for all. But until she could at least manage hand to hand combat, getting back to being the powerful Avenger she was, would take a long time, longer than she had foresaw. Other Iris also only ever showed in her dreams. When she was in danger. It was a strange coincidence, but it made life easier for now.
She sat at the table, staring into the bottom of her cup. Her thoughts kept swirling round, always coming back to the same conclusions. She could get physically better, but the mental toll would take a long time to heal. It was blocking her powers, no matter how much she wanted to admit it. The biggest thing though, was the fear that she would never get them back fully.
"Earth to Iris?" She looked over to Tony, who was waving a pen about like a mad man.
"Sorry… no coffee left," she murmured shyly, lifting her cup slightly. Tony rolled his eyes at her but continued talking. Iris could feel the glances the other Avengers were sending her way.
"As I was saying, now that I have everyone's attention-" pointed look at Iris, who smiled sheepishly shrugging a shoulder, "We won't need a large team for this operation. Break into the warehouse, gather information, see Segovia, take him down. Quick, clean in and out. I want THREE teams. Main, back up and then supporting from base. It's been a while since we have dealt with the Mafia, and I want to be prepared for every eventuality." Another pointed look in Iris' direction, but she ignored it.
"Will you have need for us?" asked Thor. A sly glance to Loki, and then to Iris, but she saw it. Loki had not really been taking part in many missions unless there was absolute need for his skills. Iris knew that it was for her benefit. Loki was probably the only one to understand the jealousy she had felt about not being able to go with them. He had, of course, offered to help start back training, but she knew she was not ready, nor was she ready for everyone to know how weak she had become.
"Nat, Bucky, Steve and Wanda will be in Team 1. Team 2, Banner, myself, Clint and Peter. Thor, Loki, I will leave it up to you to decide what you guys want to do. Now I am not saying you will not be needed, but the threat isn't huge; and as for Iris-"
"I'll provide support from here. Got it," she met each of their faces before getting up quickly and rushing out the room. She was always the first one or last one to leave. It was easier to hide the weakness of her now too fragile body.
Heading for the elevator quickly, she leaned up against the wall. She had moved a little quicker than she should have, but she knew she needed to start building up her physical strength again. It dinged, and she headed inside, pressing the number for her floor.
As she walked towards her door, she felt the now familiar numbness starting in her feet. She wobbled, braced herself on the wall, but continued forward. Leaning against walls and doors and chairs had become a new normal for her. When she was alone, Iris did not struggle to keep standing, she would let her body react naturally to how it needed to be.
Fumbling for the door handle, she did her best to push on past the pain and numbness but ended up falling as soon as the door swung open. She swore softly to herself and tried to hold back the tears that now threatened. She felt so hopeless like this, trapped in her own body, barely being able to move. Sometimes she wondered how quickly the Avengers would rid of her when they learnt of her disability. It was something Iris tried to avoid thinking about, but the thoughts were creeping up far more than she would have liked. Yet, she knew in her heart she would rather endure it alone. She could not bear the glances and whispered comments of her former teammates. This would be her burden, and her burden alone.
Iris sat on the comfy armchair, monitoring the action that was displayed in front of her. She could feel Loki and Thor's stares burning into the back of her head.
"Guys, I am not going to spontaneously combust," Iris said, muting the comms so as not to distract anyone. Iris glanced back, meeting Loki's gaze.
"Tiny- Iris," began Thor. She looked at him then, noting the concern evident on his face. He hardly ever called her by her name.
Static from the comms sounded.
"Team 2, where the hell are you?!" exclaimed Bucky.
"I'm aerial, coming in hot, ETA 3 minutes." Tony replied.
Iris unmuted the comms.
"What the hell is going on?" Iris demanded. She had been distracted for too long.
"Seems our easy Mafia bust have some serious foot soldiers. Like I mean a dozen of them. We have no idea where they – ugh – came from. We are all, puff, fighting three or four each," replied Nat.
"Loki, Thor, you need to get in there. It looks like HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D. aren't the only ones dabbling in super soldiers," Iris said. She tapped a few things on different screens, pulling up maps and advantage points. "If you teleport in here, or here, this will give you the best advantage for a surprise attack, and Thor, if you use Mjolnir, you could do a swing by round the back, here, and knock a few out there as well. Segovia will be hiding where the soldiers are the thickest. That is how you will know you are in the right area," she nodded, pointing to each section as she spoke. A few more taps, and an idea occurred. "Clint, if you can get to this building, sending co-ordinates now, it will give you a direct line of sight to Segovia! Think back to basics!" Iris was proud. She had not felt this exhilarated from the thrill of the action in a long time.
"Back to basics, good one, moving out," Clint said through a breath.
"You know, Iris, we could really use some of your juju right about now!" cried Tony.
Iris stared at the screen, the exhilaration leaving her, so she once again was left cold and empty.
"Loki and Thor are heading your way now. I am under house arrest, your rules not mine. I will keep supporting from base. Trust me, it's for the best…" she murmured. Loki picked up the undertone, as did a few of the other Avengers, but they said nothing. With a longing to be held or kissed by him before they left, Loki and Thor teleported out to the location Iris had given them.
Segovia took a long time to take down, but they had done it. With a shaky breath, and a wipe of her sweaty forehead, Iris leaned back in her chair sighing in relief. It had to be one of the most intense battles she had supported from base that would have been relatively normal. The whole super soldier thing was really getting out of hand, but there was nothing Iris could do about that now. She had to concentrate on getting up from her chair, and ready to greet the others when they arrived. No doubt Tony would want a full run down on her reports to pass over to, presumably, S.H.I.E.L.D.
Walking down the corridor, she hummed to herself quietly. It had been a long day, and she was exhausted. If Loki wanted to try and coax her into a relaxing evening, he would have a fight on his hands. She chuckled lightly. Sometimes thinking about him, made everything ok for a little while. "Guess there are advantages to kidnapping," she muttered.
"Advantages to what?" questioned a voice behind her. Iris let out a yelp in fright and came crashing to the ground. She cursed, realising that she would not be able to get up by herself, not this time.
"None of your Goddamn business!" she spat, looking up at Bucky. If it were not him, it would have been Loki. The two were famous for their timings. Iris sat on the ground, her breathing slightly unsteady. She was avoiding his gaze, but he leaned down to look at her.
"Why are you still on the ground, doll?" he asked her quietly. Iris eyes threatened tears, but she shook her head. He stared at her for a few minutes, before standing up and reaching a handout to her. Iris grabbed on, and Bucky hauled her too her feet. She had to lean on the wall, and this did not go unmissed by him.
"Nobody is to hear a word about this," she said to him. Iris had her serious face, and honestly it scared them all sometimes. Such a sweet and caring girl, yet she had a depth to her that the Avengers sometimes did not understand. But Bucky did, and Iris was sometimes grateful for that fact. She had someone who understood on a level that was personal. There would be no judgements from the man, but a solidarity that would shame even the closest of friends.
"How bad is it? How long have you suffered like this?" Bucky narrowed his eyes at Iris. He could see she was struggling to contain the obvious discomfort, and the walls were not known for their gripping powers.
"Not another word," she threatened darkly, and with that she staggered off in the direction of the conference room.
Bucky chased after her.
"That's why you've been avoiding training and missions isn't it? You cannot be cleared because you can barely move. Who else knows?" he demanded. Iris ignored him and kept going. "Talk to me, Iris. I am here for you, doll. We all are. I have been through it; I know how bad it is. Nobody can help you if you do not tell us!"
Iris stopped in the corridor, turning to face him slowly. He saw how drained she was, and it was not a good look, for anybody.
"I really hate you sometimes Barnes," she murmured, collapsing once more, close enough that he caught her. Bucky cursed softly as he lifted her into his arms.
Just then, Loki rounded the corner, and met Bucky's gaze. He rushed over, seeing the concern.
"Take her to the medical wing, I'll get Banner," said Bucky, passing Iris over gently to the other male. He nodded and went their separate ways.