Otoya took slow and shaky breaths as he tried to slow down his own heartbeat. The room was alive with the sound of laughter from his close friends and bandmates, but he couldn't find it in himself to join them.

Everyone in the Agency had decided to throw him a party for his twenty-sixth birthday, but what they didn't know was they just so happened to plan it for the twentieth anniversary of his aunt's passing.

They couldn't have possibly known as Otoya had never told them, but he found himself wishing that he had. There was something about the knowledge that it had been twenty years since he last saw his aunt that just hurt him so much. After losing his own real mother and then to suddenly lose his adoptive mother not too long after...

Otoya gripped the rosaries around his neck tighter, fighting to bring a smile back on his lips as Syo flung his arms around him begging for his help to avoid Natsuki.

Why was it he felt like an open wound now of all times? It had been so long... Of course, he wasn't implying that time would heal his wound entirely, but it surely had mended it even just a little over the years.

"Ah! I totally forgot something in my room! I'll be right back, Syo!" Otoya peeled his friend off of him as he all but bolted from the room.

He could feel each and every gaze from his friends as he ran off, not daring to look back and explain himself. He just needed some alone time.

It wasn't until the door was shut safely behind him with his back up against it did he finally let himself sit in his emotions regarding the day. The tears came as quickly as the memories did, flashing through his mind like an old film reel. It was so long ago, but the memories he held made it feel just like yesterday. From the sunflower field they called theirs to the musical moments they shared as they cleaned up around the apartment they lived in.

How did he think he'd be fine enough to attend a party?

Otoya slid down the length of the door as his sobs became uncontrollable, living in the memories he had made in those few years with his aunt. The pain felt unbearably, much like a dam that had finally cracked down the middle.

It wasn't too long after that he heard a gentle knock on the door behind him. Otoya sniffled as he tried to wipe away his tears to the best of his abilities. He knew it would be next to impossible to make it seem as if he hadn't just been crying, but he could at least wipe away most of the evidence.

"Just a second!" Otoya shouted as he jumped up from the floor, now wiping viciously at his cheeks.

"Otoya, it's only me." Oh, Tokiya.

He should've known that his roommate would come looking for him. After all, they had spent the most amount of time together. Even if they didn't mean to, they had picked up on each other's every habit. From Tokiya's nervous habit of tapping his finger against his arm to his more obvious late-night walks, Otoya could tell pretty easily when he was being bothered. Rooming for ten whole years together did that to you.

Had it really been that long?

"You don't have to open the door if you don't want to. I only wished to express my sincerest apologies regarding the party."

The hand reaching for the doorknob froze midway, Otoya's eyes widening as he stared at the wooden frame before him. Had he heard him correctly?

"I had tried to persuade them otherwise on the date, but they were adamant on its perfection. If only they really knew how perfect it truly was."

Otoya could envision Tokiya shaking his head as he spoke. Otoya kept frozen for only one more moment before closing the distance and opening the door.

Tokiya smiled as halfheartedly as Otoya had expected upon seeing his tear-stricken face. It wasn't what he was focused on, though. Instead, Otoya's eyes were still wide as he tried to piece together how exactly Tokiya could've known. "How-"

Tokiya shook his head immediately, cutting Otoya off before he could continue further. "I don't know exactly what happened on this day, but I've noticed a pattern over the years. Usually I just sit quietly in the room reading or I'll leave depending on how you seem. Some years you've chosen to be happy, but others... well, are much like today. Ah, I should clarify my intentions again. You don't have to tell me anything. I only wanted to ensure you were alright."

This had to be the most worried he had ever seen Tokiya. That wasn't to say he had never seen Tokiya worried, but moreso not to the extent he was seeing now.

Otoya smiled brightly at his friend, fresh tears beginning to form in his eyes. "Thank you, Tokiya."

The worry on Tokiya's face eased as he realized how genuine Otoya was being with him, relaxing now that he knew of the extent of what the day really meant now.

Otoya released a shaky breath as he tried to calm himself down, and Tokiya stood there and waited patiently as he did so. Even if Tokiya was cold towards him sometimes, Otoya always knew there was this genuine kindness behind his hardened exterior.

"Today marks the day my aunt... passed away." Otoya felt himself choke up but pressed on for really his own sake. Just this once he would allow himself to be selfish. "It's been getting easier over the years, but... today is the twentieth anniversary. I guess I just didn't realize how much time had passed."

Tokiya's expression softened upon hearing his words. "I'm sorry, Otoya. Time can't heal the deepest wounds we carry, but rather you can find who you're supposed to be through that pain. I believe you have. There's a strength in you that shines brightest when you're doing something you love."

Otoya began crying as hard as he had before as he listened to his friend, letting them fall down his face as he smiled back at Tokiya. "That was unfair, Tokiya."

Tokiya chuckled once, his smile never leaving once. "It needed to be said. I meant it, Otoya. Please don't hesitate to rely on those around you."

"I'll try my best."