Severus is in a bad way with this one. Gotta expect it with what he's seen. - Also a bit of smut to make him feel better.

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Chapter 4

Hermione had come home from work to find a cold and dark home. It was not like Severus to be gone and not let her know when he would return. She noticed a light coming from the hall and followed it. It came from the studio that Severus had created for Lucius' portrait. She did not wish to disturb them, but her curiosity got the best of her. Hermione crept to the door and opened it silently just enough for her to see into the silent room. She saw Severus in a chair in front of his artists board, scribbling like mad. As she peeked further she found he was alone.

As she backed out to leave him in peace, Severus called to her. "It's all right, You can come in."

Hermione was a bit embarrassed, but went over to him. She kissed him gently on the temple. "I'm sorry to disturb you sweet. It's late. I just wondered where you were and what you were up to."

Severus covered the canvas quickly and looked up to her smiling. "Your disturbance has nothing to do with your presence. You are with me always, like the air in my lungs, only more important." He stood and kissed her passionately. His hands roving over her body to kneed and squeeze.

She didn't push him away, feeling the first stirrings of passion, but did tried to slow him down. "Woa, What's that for?"

His eyes were fire and fear. "I love you Hermione." He held her close as if his life depended on it. "I'm so glad your home. I'm sorry I didn't get to making dinner. Lucius and I had a good session and the time just got away from me. Are you particularly hungry?"

"No," she replied. "I caught a late lunch after our last meeting and…" She couldn't say anymore as Severus kissed her hard and picked her up, heading for the bedroom.

He laid her gently down and vanished their clothing. "Severus, what's happ…?" He didn't give her time to finish her thought as his tongue circled a nipple before suckling at it. She gasped and moaned as his fingers found her sex and began to rub in circles.

"Please Hermione, don't ask why. I need you. I feel so lost and alone and afraid." Hermione didn't need to hear more as she rolled him on his back and began a campaign of kisses from his eyelids to his navel. He shivered with pleasure and reached up to grab her waist and pulled her onto his manhood. He needed to feel her wet warmth and softness, as his arms circled her like a steel band. "Make the pain go away beloved. Make me forget everything but you."

Hermione didn't know what had brought this on, but she knew the feeling, and began to move on him. It was slow and sweet and mad and fulfilling. Touches and kisses and promises of pleasure and love perfected. Afterward they lay in each other's arms gasping for breath and unwilling to let go. Sighing in the safety and joy that only lovers can offer each other.

"I won't ask why love, only, 'Is it better now?' Hermione brushed a lock of hair from his face.

He smiled at her understanding. "As only you can make it. Thank you Hermione." He cuddled a little closer as she pulled the blankets up. "Good night my love." A few sweet kisses later they were both asleep.

oopOqoo

It was two am when she heard him whimper. He was curled up in a ball on the floor having a nightmare. She reached out to wake him, but couldn't. His skin was cold and tense, hard as marble and there were tears on his face.

"No, no please. Oh Merlin! Forgive me. I am your friend, but I can't betray them. I'm sorry, I can't help you. I can't. He will kill us both. I can't help you. It's not just my life. I have to do this or all is lost. Forgive me! Please forgive me!"

Hermione wrapped a robe around her and then got down on the floor to shake him. "Severus! Severus wake up! It's just a dream my love. Just a dream!" She rolled him on his back and pushed his hands to the floor. He was still helpless against the dream. "I'm sorry Sev, but it's the only way." Hermione raised her hand and slapped his face as hard as she could. "SEVERUS!"

He woke with a start and all he could see was a shadow bending over him and the sting of injury. Severus reacted like a soldier and violently shoved his attacker away then summoning his wand, he held it out to strike. Hermione ducked and rolled just in time for the cast to destroy her hamper instead of her head. "Severus! It's Hermione! Put your wand down."

He stood naked, shaking and unsure until his eyes focused and he recognized their bedroom. "Hermione?" She got up slowly from behind the bed and approached him cautiously.

"Severus?" She whispered gently. "Put your wand down dearest. You're safe. You're at home with me. Don't you remember?"

Severus was filled with horror as he realized what he could have done. Throwing his wand against the wall he sank to his knees and covered his face with his hands. "Hermione. Forgive me my love. I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you? Please tell me you're okay."

"I'm okay, you didn't hurt me. There's nothing to forgive. You were having a nightmare. I couldn't wake you up. I'm sorry I had to slap you, but you were near hysterical." She went to him and held him tight until his tremors subsided. Coaxing him to sit on the bed, she examined him to be sure he hadn't injured himself. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He didn't want to, but she had a right to know why her husband was acting like a maniac. "Do you remember Professor Burbage?"

"Charity? Yes, we often had great conversations about muggle things. She was really my only professor who understood what it was like to be a muggle born and all those goofy traditions that wizard kind didn't understand. Just before the war she disappeared and everyone said she had gone to America to visit relatives. I was very unhappy that she had never said goodbye to me before she left."

Severus wrapped his arms around her and put her head on his shoulder. "The staff knew what really happened to her." He released her and stood to grab his robe and tie it on. He faced Hermione grimly. "The truth is that unholy bastard had taken her to play with. When he was done torturing her, he paraded her in front of us over a table. She saw me, and begged me to help her again and again. Begged for her life. A life I could not save without betraying myself as a double agent." He paced the floor as his tears began to flow again. "She begged me Hermione! We were friends and all I could do was sit there and try to look unmoved. Terrified she would say something that would alert Him. Sweet merciful gods I wanted to! I would have saved her if all it meant was my life, but I couldn't. There was too much at stake to save one person when the whole world needed saving from that maniac! Then he killed her as if she were rubbish and fed her to his snake. I'll never forget the sick look of amusement on his face."

Hermione grew pale and ill, but decided to deal with her feelings later. Severus needed her now. "You did the right thing beloved." She stopped his pacing and held him tight. "You did the only thing you could. It must have been horrible for you to witness." She held his face in her hands and kissed him gently. "It's been so many years my love. You haven't had a dream like this in a long time. What's brought it back now?"

A terrible look came to his face. It almost frightened her. "Do you really want to know?", he asked gruffly. "Do you want to see a nightmare so gruesome you will not sleep as I cannot." She nodded quietly, needing to know what he was up against.

He took her by the hand and led her back to the studio. They stopped in front of his easel and he lifted the cover. Hermione shrieked and backed away covering her mouth with her hands. Severus lowered the cloth and pulled her into him. "Forgive me. It was selfish of me to show you his portrait. It was the same look Hermione. The night he killed Charity. He burned it into Malfoy's back."

Hermione whimpered and looked up at him. "You mean, this is Lucius Malfoy as he truly is?"

Severus sighed and nodded. "The poor bastard has a moving picture of the monster. He told me he was tortured every night after he failed to get Potter's prophesy. Sometimes Narcissa and Draco were made to watch. He's so messed up Hermione, you can't imagine. Once so proud and arrogant, now just a ruin."

"Oh Severus, that poor man. Do you think we could help him remove it? No one deserves to live with that thing. I'll never forget that face, I don't want Him to exist anywhere on the planet."

"I have been considering a few potions and salves like the ones we tried to fix your arm with. Unlike yours, which used a poison to create the letters, his is burned on and then animated by a spell. It's risky. We don't know what He used. It could cause Lucius a lot of pain for nothing. He hasn't let anyone see it, even healers." His face grew very grave. "Hermione. You must promise me not to tell anyone about it. I gave him my word we would be discrete."

"Of course Severus. Still, I could make some discrete inquiries at the next clinic I go to. They may have experienced something similar by now." She yawned, "Do you think you could sleep now?"

Severus was hesitant. He was still damp from sweat and a bit jumpy. Hermione began lightly scratching his back which sent pleasant tremors through his body. "Umm. You keep that up and I'll risk it." He put his arm around her waist and led her back to bed. The warmth and smell of her next to him calmed his nerves and he drifted off.