Day 1 - Then

I couldn't sleep.

My mind and body were still revolving around California time.

Every part of me was screaming at me to put this day past me and move on but I couldn't. My brain wouldn't shut up no matter how much I tried to drown it out.

The bed in this beautiful suite was another reminder of how alone I was. I needed Cole's warm body next to me, to keep me rooted in the reality that I was fine.

Talking to him on the phone earlier helped. We laughed until there were tears in my eyes, because that's how it always is when we're together, and I told him all about how Trini, Aisha, and I had to buy an extra luggage bag so that we could bring back all of the souvenirs that we had purchased. There was a moment where the guys and the girls had split apart… and well, we didn't have Jason to keep us from blowing all of our savings.

Talking to Cole came as easy as breathing.

Then why couldn't I rest?

I think it may have been that I omitted something from our entire conversation. The fact that Tommy had been behind me the entire time. We hadn't spoken one single word aside from the brief conversation during brunch.

If you'd even call it that.

I've never spoken to Cole about Tommy before. I told myself that it was because Tommy was my past and Cole was my future, but maybe it was more so the reality that one day I might have to face him again and I didn't want that tension there.

Cole wasn't a confrontational or jealous guy, but that didn't mean it wouldn't make the situation uncomfortable. Hell, I'm uncomfortable. Tommy is no one to me now and forevermore. Cole is what I want.

Having finally given up, I kicked the sheets off me and ran into my luggage in search of my swimsuit.

Sure it's past midnight but I wasn't getting any closer to sleep. The tossing and turning was only pissing me off and if I had all of this energy, then there was only one thing to do about it. Burn it off.

With my white two-piece swimsuit on and a towel in hand, I made my way to the private pool on my floor. For the first time since I had arrived, the island was finally quiet. I could hear the waves crashing against the shore without the city in the background. This is what I needed. The silence. The ocean in my ear.

I was dead silent as I opened the gate to the pool. The place was black, aside from the moon cascading down the white cave-like walls. Everything was as beautiful as it had been during the day.

I muffled a sigh at the first dip of my toe in the water. It was the perfect temperature, like a warm blanket in the middle of winter.

"Mmmm," I finally released once the water came to my shoulders.

This is what I really needed. This would be what would finally release my stress and let me get over whatever was causing this restlessness.

I felt like a kid again, feeling the first touch of summer on my skin.

"This is amazing," I murmured as I leaned my head back to touch the water.

This is paradise. This moment. Here.

The end of the pool turned into a balcony that looked down the cliffside. The sea was about a hundred feet below me, but I could still taste the salt in the air and hear the waves crash like they were beside me. I swam towards the edge, then peered as much as I could to see something, but I couldn't. Everything was hidden in the night.

"Couldn't sleep either?" A voice came behind me.

"Ahh," I shrieked and then quickly covered my mouth. I didn't want to bring any attention, especially considering I recognized the voice right away.

Tommy.

"I… I'm sorry," I said once my hand fell from my lips. I took a couple of deep breaths to control my breathing. "I thought I was alone."

The water surrounding him made a noise, letting me know he was on the move. "Looks like we both had the same idea."

The ripples from the water began to touch my chest and I felt myself moving back without even realizing it.

He was getting closer to me while I was dying to put distance between us, but I was starting to get cornered.

"I should go," I cleared my throat after a moment.

He didn't immediately reply, but the water stilled, which could only mean that he stopped moving.

Unable to take much more of this, I neared the edge and pulled myself out of the pool, water splashing all around me.

"I won't bite, if that's what you're afraid of…" I heard the smirk again as I began to dry myself off. "…or are you afraid of what people may think finding you and me… in the pool… in the dark."

It was bait and I knew I was easily falling into it, but I always loved a challenge.

I scoffed, "I'm not afraid of what people think of me."

His silence urged me to prove it

With a small roll of my eyes, I set my towel down and I began my descent into the pool once more.

My back stayed near the edge of the water, not daring to move in fear that it would bring me closer to him.

"You sure your boyfriend won't mind?"

He was purposely trying to piss me off. Tommy hadn't said a word when the subject of Cole had been brought up during brunch, barely looked in my direction during dinner, and retired to his room at the first opportunity that was presented.

If he wanted to play this game then I was more than happy to join in.

"Cole isn't like that. He trusts me and I trust him," I smirked in the dark.

When the silence became too much, I had to press, "What about you and your plus one."

"You mean my girlfriend?" He was quick to answer, but there was something in his tone that didn't sit right with me.

If he meant to hurt me by that then he succeeded.

"Yeah…"

He was in front of me before I knew it, close enough that the moon was reflecting off of him. His shirt was off, the water dripping down his chest. He seemed taller this way or maybe it was because I was sinking into the water, hoping for it to take me under than admit that I hadn't seen muscles like that on any man before.

"I've never given her a reason not to trust me," he shrugged and then moved to sit to my left. "She knows I'm committed."

I didn't really know how to respond to that, so I didn't. Instead, I asked the first thing I could think of to change the subject.

"How long have you been in here?"

He pondered a moment, "Longer than you?"

That was obvious.

"And… you were just going to keep silent the entire time?"

"I spoke up, didn't I?"

"But you were watching me."

He gave an arrogant chuckle, "A little bold of you to assume that I was watching you,"

"Weren't you?" I fired back.

I caught the corner of his lip rise, "Yes, I was."

I'm not sure why I was expecting him to say no. That would have been a lie. He stalked me in the dark like a lion stalks its prey.

"Then why didn't you say anything," I whispered.

He didn't utter a word, but rather answered my question with his silence.

That's what he always did. Just like when he left me years ago, his answer to everything was always silence. He never tried to reach out to me or try to explain why he did what he did.

I wanted answers once upon a time but not anymore. I was emotionally removed from the situation, but that took me a long time. There was a moment I thought I never would be able to but luckily that moment passed.

Maybe I should thank him for all he did. After all, If he hadn't just picked up and left me behind then I wouldn't be who I am today.

"Is it serious with that guy," He asked, which undoubtedly surprised me.

I could feel the atmosphere shift in the room from one of tranquility to one of turmoil.

My relationship was never anything I had to justify to anyone, but the bitch inside of me screamed.

"We're moving in together soon… things usually are when that's discussed, don't you think?"

Maybe Tommy wouldn't think so. It didn't stop him from leaving me at a bus stop after we planned on moving in together.

His sigh was my answer.

"How have you been?" He said, quietly.

"You're asking me?"

He shrugged again, "Seems appropriate. We haven't spoken in years."

"And that's my fault?"

He shook his head, "No one is pointing fingers."

"Someone should."

"Okay," he held his hands up, "sorry I asked. I'm just trying to make conversation, but I can see you're still pissed at me."

"Oh no," I nearly laughed, "You are not making me out to look like I'm not over what happened years ago. It's done. I'm over it, but let's call a spade a spade. You and I are not friends."

Fuck. That was meant to hurt him but it didn't make me feel any better, in fact, I felt like dog shit.

This isn't who I am and every word coming out of me was sounding more and more like I wasn't over it as much as I said I was. Was I trying to convince myself or him? Because I wasn't quite sure at the moment.

"I'm sorry… I don't know why I said that," I sighed in defeat, "look, we're both here to celebrate Jason… he wants all of us to have a good time, but we don't have to talk. We don't have to do anything more than coexist."

I swallowed the knot in my throat.

"I should go," I said and forced myself to leave the warmth.

I stood and wrapped the already damp towel around my body, hating the chill as it touched my skin.

"Kim…" He spoke softly.

I didn't turn back to look at him, "Yes?"

"I…" he signed heavily, leaving me to wonder what was going on inside that head of his. "I…I hope you can get some sleep tonight."

I simply nodded in return and left. Somehow I'm the one left feeling like I lost.

Author note: More to come soon :)