Chapter Four: A Set of Prying Eyes

Evans-

James and I are closer than you can ever dream to be so your little letter trick is amusing but futile. I will give you points, it's more devious I thought you capable of.

If you hate me so much, why are you even asking about love life and living situation? You must mistake me for James sometimes because I've never asked for your forgiveness and I'm not apologizing for giving Snivilius exactly what he deserved. He's harboring an asshole, bout time you woke up.

And while I've not asked for it, you seem to forgive me enough to write to me and not a certain Potter. Interesting. It's a tip I've passed along to James but I doubt he'll take the hint. You've utterly perplexed him and he is not very fun to be around when perplexed. He has an annoying habit of obsessing over anything that doesn't come naturally to him, the git.

Unless this has been your plan to ruin my summer all along. In which case, well done. Now stop it and return his bloody bird.

-Black

Lily wondered why Sirus Black has such pretty handwriting. For a guy so angry, he sure knew how to pen.

Godric pecked the breadbox impatiently as Lily finished reading the letter from Sirius. As the weeks passed, Godric had become a companion for Archi and would stay for days in search of work in exchange for muggle owl treats.

It had been three weeks since Archi's accident and the barn owl was reserved to deliver letters closer to the house so Lily was happy to send Godric instead. Mary loved to tease about how beautiful Potter's bird was and kept tempting the two warring schoolmates to talk but James had finally taken a hint and stopped sending letters. Why or how Godric kept showing up at the Evans house, Lily wasn't sure.

"Alright, alright," Lily said. "Mum, could you give him a treat?" Rose gave a small laugh and opened the breadbox. The owl ducked its head in and took a treat through the opening of the bag. Both women exchanged an amused look.

"Does the young man ever feed his bird?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"I think our treats are different," Lily said. "Muggles make food differently, some stuff tastes different. Maybe Godric just likes the muggle stuff more."

"Wouldn't that be funny," her mother mused, closing the breadbox before the owl could gorge himself on more. Godric appeared to huff, shuffle his feet and then took off out the window.

"Mary wanted to go into Diagon Alley today," Lily said. "Since we've both received our results back."

Mrs. Evans cast a loving look at the fridge where she had hung Lily's OWL results. She had passed them all, with three O's in Charms, Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts and E's in everything else. It was better than even Lily had expected and she was excited to see what next year had in store.

"Just you two?" her mother asked. "I'd feel better if there were more of your friends going." She didn't have to say because both of them were muggle-born.

"We want to meet Alice for lunch since she's still in her internship," Lily said, "but Mary was going to try to get Marlene and Emmeline to join us. Though Em might still be in France. And you know we usually run into friends there."

Her mother was quiet as she continued cutting fruit and Lily worried she had told her mother too much about her world.

"So you'll be gone for dinner?" Mrs. Evans finally asked.

"Oh, I'm not sure. I wouldn't worry about me, though. I can take care of myself." Lily grinned.

"Mrs. McDonnald taking you then?"

"Yeah, I'm supposed to call when I'm ready."

Her mother nodded and gave Lily a smile. "Have fun and be careful. And try not to buy too many quills this year. You always write home for pens a month in."

Lily smiled guiltily at her mother before hopping off her stool and heading to her room to change.

Diagon Alley was the sort of chaos Lily Evan could fall in love with. On the surface of it all, there was nothing actually extraordinary about the shopping center. Shops lined the streets and people wandered from store to store. Kids ran through spaces too small and knocked into each other, laughing as they raced to the joke shop or the candy shop or out of their mother's reach. All in all, Diagon Alley was just like every other busy shopping street Lily could find in London or back home.

But it wasn't. Shelves restocked themselves and owls screeched as they swooped into windows while goblins and witches filed through the cobblestone streets. It was loud and the smells were foreign and everyone was dressed like no one could find the right play.

Lily loved all the different ways chaos seemed to make up something so very normal in Diagon Alley. To her, this was what magic was. Here, and at Hogwarts, she understood this to be her future. This was the life magic promised her. Not so different from what she had always grown up knowing, but maybe something… more.

"Such a strange place," Mrs. McDonnald said in a happy but soft tone as she watched the cloaked figures pass. Lily smiled back at the dreamlike expression set upon the older woman's face. "Well, I'll be running around London so please be done by seven."

She gave her daughter an awkward pat on the shoulder, unsure if it was still alright to hug a 16-year-old before journeying back towards Tom's bar. She stood out easily in her floral dress among the dark cloaks and Lily suddenly felt a surge of worry.

"Come on!" Mary said. She wrapped her arm around LIly's and pulled her towards Flourish and Burkes. The worry was left behind in the crowded streets.

The last week of July was always popular for students. It was the weekend after OWL scores and most witches got muggle-sick by then. This unsaid communication meant most Hogwarts students tried to hit up the Alley to see classmates and catch up on summer gossip. Mary was no different.

Before they reached the ink store, Mary and Lily stopped three times to chat with fellow Muggleborns unable to communicate via owl. Some couldn't afford it and some preferred the vacation from magic. Lily was relieved to see them again.

"I made Prefect!" Eliza Correia exclaimed from across the street as soon as she spotted the redhead. Lily turned and found the girl rushing towards them, waving her badge. "Prefect!"

"Congratulations!" Lily exclaimed as the younger girl launched herself into her arms. She laughed at the energy that came from happiness.

"As if you had much doubt," Mary said, "you only have the best mentor in school."

Lily rolled her eyes but Eliza was already nodding. "I was nervous but then I saw the letter and it was bigger than normal so I knew. I knew it and I can't believe it! I mean, I can because I do because I am but I'm so thrilled!"

"Thrilled," Mary echoed.

"You deserve it," Lily said, "and I'm really excited to work with you this year. Have you heard who else received badges?"

Eliza shook her head but rattled off predictions anyway. "Probably Sharon Stone and Patricia Marshes. Or maybe Bridget Bogush. Antony Westfall was bragging about something during his party last weekend but I wasn't there and Molly didn't give me specifics."

"We're all doomed if he gets a badge," Mary said.

"I can think of worse," Lily mumbled. She could make a list in under twenty seconds.

"The Marauders?" Eliza asked.

Lily started. No, the Marauders were NOT who she was thinking of. Most of her list included Slytherin Death-Eater wannabes that would use the power as an excuse to bully more underclassmen. Still, the combination of Potter and Black with that same power did set her mind on edge.

"Why do you say that?" she asked, not wanting to imagine that disaster.

"Because of that huge fight," Eliza said. She swept her hair back over her shoulder but the wind pushed it over once more. "Between them and the Slytherins and the Squid."

Mary began to laugh but Lily had to blink to make sure Eliza was being serious. "Is that what the story's turned into? It was Potter, Black and Severus, that's it!"

"Bridget Bogush said it was a pack of Slytherins getting beaten up by Black and Potter and you stopped it and they got mad so you cursed them into the lake." The looks on Lily's face must have told Eliza this was wrong because then she said, "but you aren't talking to them." Eliza pressed further. "I mean, that's what Black was saying at Westfall's party. So are you dating Snape?"

"Eliza," Mary said, "remember to think before asking stupid questions."

Eliza said "oh" but Lily was already exhausted and looking for an escape. She didn't have the passion to dispute false rumors just yet. Everyone would be celebrating the fact that Lily was no longer talking to her best friend and it was not something Lily thought should be celebrated.

"Ice cream," she said and made a beeline for Florean Fortescue's, leaving the two girls behind.

It was a hot day but still early so the shop was not as crowded as it would be in an hour after regular mealtime. Apparently, Mary had taken Lily's absence as an opportunity to get more from Eliza because Lily was left alone to eat her chocolate dessert. She wished it was something not so sweet with actual nutrition.

She didn't feel bad about what Eliza said. It was perfectly acceptable to question her relationship with Severus. She'd broken up with Fred Febbish for the same reason in fourth year. Anyone could mistake them for being romantic, especially since it was such an unpopular match. Make friends with one Slytherin and everyone loses their minds.

She heard the bell sound as two voices pushed through into the empty shop.

"-to calm down, it's not worth it," a very familiar voice was saying. Too familiar. Lily's head shot up. Oh no.

Sirius Black pulled away from his friend and sank into a seat leaving a particular James Potter standing in the doorway. The door shut with another small bell ring.

"Just leave it," Black said, his voice like burning coals. His actions were loud and screaming for attention as he crossed his arms and threw his feet up onto a chair across from him making him scratch against the floor.

"Sirius, mate," James was already saying. His hand was in his hair like normal but with less pomp and more tension than Lily ever knew the boy to show.

Normally the Hogwarts uniform hung off James perfectly despite his attempts to sully it with unkempt ties and wrinkled robes and he never wore his hat which landed him in more trouble than any of his pranks ever did. In the freedom of summer, however, he wore simple robes of light blue that contrasted his tanned skin starkly and set off the shocking darkness of his messy hair. It didn't look nearly as messy as he usually made it appear in school, confirming Lily's long-time suspicions.

His eyes were concentrated on his best friend, brows knit in worry behind solid black frames.

Sirius, for his part, looked like Sirius. Black hair pulled back into a ponytail and dark robes made him hardly different than the school version of himself. Only now he looked sullen and grumpy like he wanted to hex or curse anyone he set eyes upon.

"Red," Sirius said. His eyes caught Lily staring.

James turned, his tanned face frustrated and then shocked. "L-Lil- Evans!" He smiled brightly but it dimmed as if remembering who he was talking to.

Lily waved her spoon, trapped.

"What'll you have, boys?" Florean Fortescue asked, coming out of the back. A trail of nuts floated behind him at head level, pulling their own shells off. He smiled brightly at the three youths.

"Nothing," Sirius barked at the same time James tried getting out "We're fine, thank you."

Florean didn't seem phased. "Let me know when you make up your mind," he said and returned to the back, nuts following.

"It's funny," Black said after a minute of silence sucked the air from the room, "that she doesn't speak even when we're right here."

James scowled down at the floor as he took a seat.

"I," Lily began but wasn't sure what she started to say. Yes, there was always the chance of running into them at Diagon Alley but she felt so cornered. She thought she had more time to figure everything out. She clutched her ice cream tighter.

Sirius's eyebrows raised but when Lily didn't go on, they lowered in expectation. "Right. Too good for you, James. Too good for anyone."

"Sirius," James said but his tone wasn't amused or scolding. Tired or maybe routine, like this was a conversation they performed daily.

Lily rose to her feet, tossing the rest of her ice cream in the rubbish bin. She made her way to the door. This wasn't going to solve anything.

James stood. "Lily-"

Mary opened the door. "Sorry, Eliza had this amazing story about a griffin in Germany? Or maybe it was the German Griffins quidditch team... Anyway, then I saw these stormtroopers come in and figured you might want backup."

Sirius said, "Bloody oh and seven!" with the disgust of a failed fan.

James said, "Stormtroopers?" with the confusion of a wizard pronouncing muggle words.

Lily tried to smile because that's how peace was supposed to be kept, wasn't it? "We're fine. Let's go."

"Wait, Lily," James said and he grabbed her arm as she pushed through the door.

"What?" she asked. It came out harsher than intended.

"We obviously need to talk," he said, his voice losing its gentle tone.

"She doesn't want to talk to you," Eliza said from the other side of the door, in the street. Lily hadn't realized she'd followed Mary. Maybe she wanted to see blood. Or another lake incident. "And maybe don't touch her?"

"I'm not doing anything," James said, misunderstanding, "and this is between Lily and I."

"I'd let this one slide, Captain," Mary said, trying to pull Lily free. "She's not really in the mood to talk about the whole Lake thing."

"Maybe I am," James said, glaring at her. "And since my owl has been napped, I don't see another time to resolve this."

"I didn't steal your owl," Lily said. She knew focusing on the wrong thing wouldn't solve the issue but it was a magnificent distraction. "He likes me better. And please let me go, Potter. Mary's right, I don't want to talk about it."

"That sounds fair," Sirius said from somewhere behind her.

Lily pushed past into the streets hoping the boy would lose his nerve. But this was James Potter and Lily Evans should've known better. She did know better but Lily Evans was far too hopefully sometimes.

"I apologized!" he said, trailing after her. "I don't even know what for, I didn't call you any slur and yet you're still taking his side? That's cold, Evans."

Lily spun.

"That's not what this is about," she said, feeling the words take shape and escape before she could hold them back. "You, both of you, all of you, think this is about right and wrong but you're all wrong!"

James released the arm he seized and looked back at her in surprised confusion.

"You're a bully, James Potter! You think you're better than everyone else, you think that you can get away with bullying others because they're unpopular but you're just a bully. And if you and Black and Pettigrew weren't, maybe Severus wouldn't ever join a bloody death cult!" The words came out before she could even process them.

The hazel in James's eyes was hidden by the bright sunlight reflecting off his glasses.

"You're blaming me for him," James said with the first anger ever directed at Lily.

"You think you can force people to see your way," Lily said. "You think if you torment Sev-" she flinched at herself, "Snape enough, he'll stop thinking I'm anything less than what I am. But they never will. You ever think you just made him hate me more? You can't just force beliefs on people, that's what they do!"

James stood quietly for a long moment.

"Merlin," Mary said, reminding them both of the audience of the fight.

"Alright Evans," Potter finally said. He stuffed his hands into his cloak pockets and turned back to Sirius.

"Told you it'd be like facing a Boggart," Black said as they walked away into the crowd towards the quidditch store. Lily stared until the messy hair disappeared inside the store.

"I didn't know you hated them that much," Eliza said. "I mean, I know you guys bickered but I thought it was like, the fun kind."

"I don't," Lily said. "I don't hate them." But maybe she did. She hadn't known she blamed them for Severus. What else was she lying to herself about?

She followed Mary back to the bookstore but felt unease settle into her shoulders. Not over what she said but something else. She looked over her shoulder.

For the most part, the exchange had been greatly ignored thanks to the bend of the alleyway but Lily found eyes watching her now. One pair belonged to a dark-cloaked Slytherin. She swallowed and suddenly went cold.

How much had he heard? When did he get there? Was he planning on talking to her too? Lily didn't expect to feel so paralyzed by Severus's gaze but then they looked over to another boy who seemed to be watching her.

This boy was younger but had the same beautiful, wavy hair as Sirius and was staring at her as an older man and woman talked to a platinum blonde couple. His stare was just as intense as Black's and Lily realized it was his younger brother.

Severus turned back to her and began to make his way for her but she shook her head. He looked sad, she thought, but then his face contorted in anger. Maybe she imagined the pain, her own projecting into him. How she wished him to feel, broken like her.

"Come on, Lily!" Mary called.