Todoroki was left alone with the two bowls of soba, still slightly warm and half eaten. His hunger went away because of the burning that he felt in the pit of his stomach."Why did I do that?"He hit his forehead with the chopsticks until it started to hurt."I always have to go ruining everything."
He got out of the kitchen as fast as he could and tried to remain inconspicuous until he reached the stairs. He ran into his room when he was no longer in the field of vision of the boys in the dorms; he didn't feel like talking to anyone."Why am I like this?"He opened the door and closed it harder than what he expected."Argh."And, as if that was a good idea, he gently stroked the wood."What am I even doing?"
He needed to be alone to clear his mind. He walked to the bed and began smoothing the sheets."We hardly even moved, how did they get so wrinkled?"He closed his eyes tightly to suppress the memories that began to pass, like a movie, through his mind. He strode briskly to the balcony curtain, dragged it to place the room into total darkness, and groped his way back to the bed.
He lay face down on the light blue blanket that covered the mattress and hid his face in his arms."I always end up hurting those around me."He grabbed one of the pillows, hugged it angrily when he began to feel the tears fall down his cheeks, and could not help imagining, for a moment, that the softness was Midoriya's fingers, which is why he did not want to remove the images that began to reproduce:
The sun came through the window transmitting his gentle warmth. He turned around and discovered a boy next to him; he smiled sweetly as he realized who it was. He rolled over onto his left side and leaned closer to him, his arm around his waist, covering them both tightly with the blanket. He didn't want to see the time in the clock but he was sure that it was too early to get up.
"Good morning," the boy whispered, clinging closer to his bare chest.
"How did you sleep? Todoroki asked, kissing him on the forehead.
"Perfectly." Midoriya responded, distributing soft rubs on his skin.
"I'm glad to hear that," he whispered, closing his eyes again.
"And you?" He said enjoying the slight heat that surrounded him. "Any dream?"
"Yes," Todoroki winked at him before continuing to speak. "You were there... as always."
Midoriya lifted his arms to stretch them and pushed Todoroki weakly.
"I'll get away if you want," he said, pulling away.
"Dumb." Midoriya hugged him tightly, laying him with his back against the mattress.
Todoroki immediately felt the boy place his head on his chest and, without thinking, moved a hand to his hair, starting to play with the strands, pulling them gently as he absentmindedly tangled his fingers. He breathed slowly and realized how his partner did too. Unable to help it, he laughed very softly.
"You're tickling me." His voice came out lower than he expected.
Midoriya breathed in his scent deeply, filling his lungs with the soft scent that his skin gave off:
"I love the soap you use." It didn't seem like the first time he'd told him that. "Chocolate is perfect for you."
"You're invited to use it," he murmured, stroking his arm, going down until his fingers were intertwined with Midoriya's.
He squeezed his hand tightly, transmitting the heat that emanated from his skin, and brushed his back with his thumb. He would not stop doing the same until he felt that the wounds had disappeared.
"One day I will." he hid a short laugh, "but only if you are with me."
"Forever." He placed his available hand over his partner's chin and drew him closer to taste his lips. "I'll always be with you."
Todoroki did not know when he had fallen asleep but he woke up sweating and with a strange painful feeling in his chest: his heart was beating at a thousand beats per hour. He shifted yawning and felt that the pillow was wet. He wiped his cheek with the back of his sweatshirt and ended up sitting on the bed.
He didn't know how long he'd slept until he grabbed his phone from the nightstand and saw that it was almost two in the afternoon."How did I sleep this much?"He had three missed calls and ten messages."I hope they aren't from Mom or Fuyumi."He secretly wished that some of those calls were from Midoriya. He wanted to hear his voice to know that he wasn't so mad at him, that he didn't ice him away from his life.
Todoroki decided that it would be fine to start studying even for a while and he wanted to move to the chair but his neurons seemed to being able to pay attention to him."How can someone feel so much and transmit so little at the same time?"He had thought that he could clear his mind by sleeping a bit but, truth be told, he hadn't managed to rest for a second."What is this thing I feel?"He was aware of how red his eyes must be because he felt how they were burning. Besides, he was sure how horrible his face and wild hair would look right then.
He spent a while looking at the wall without moving. He could hear his stomach cry out to him, aware that he hadn't finished dinner the night before and hadn't eaten well that day."How did you know that I like noodles better when they melt by themselves in my mouth?"He shook his head and checked the time again; it was already a little after two thirty in the afternoon when he stopped being so lost in his thoughts.
He opened the curtain with a little difficulty and closed his eyes due to the annoying rays of sun that entered the room, little by little he was able to open them again and began to admire the movement of the clouds in the sky. The light that radiated from the sun gave him the energy he needed to keep going.
He stretched and understood that his legs were numb; he had to keep leaning against the balcony door to keep him from falling."How long was I in the same position?"He moved his legs until he was able to stand without pain and walked towards the bathroom.
He couldn't contain the tiny scream that came from his throat when he saw his reflection in the mirror."I told Midoriya… It shows so much if I don't sleep well."He brought his hands to his face to wipe away the tears that still covered his cheeks, then pushed them up to his hair and pulled it back with a band.
He rinsed his face before taking the brush and putting some paste on it, brushing his teeth slowly. He knew that if it weren't for how hungry he was, if he closed his eyes he would fall asleep again. He spat out the remnants of toothpaste and wiped the corner of his mouth with a little bit of water.
He went to the closet and pulled out a set of clean clothes."First we are going to try to look presentable."He carried his pants and shirt on hooks into the bathroom and closed the door behind him, hanging the clothes on the metal bar.
He pulled the band out of his hair and laid it on the corner of the sink, where he always put it in the mornings. He removed his used shirt over his head and tossed it into the pile of dirty laundry that was already starting to accumulate in one corner. He stripped off his socks, wobbling a bit in the process, before untying the knot on his pants. Both items ended up in the same pile.
He turned on the faucet, paying no attention to the temperature of the water, and watched it begin to flow from the shower. He crawled under it after taking off his boxers and setting them aside."This is just what I needed."The stream of water ran through him from head to toe, causing his hair to stick to his forehead and relax his muscles.
He stood there for a few minutes without moving, enjoying the calm that the warm water gave him down his body. He grabbed the shampoo bottle when he stopped feeling the faint pain in his neck and scooped some of the clear liquid into his palm before closing the cap again.
As if it was a ritual, he raised his hands up to his hair to distribute the product. With the fingertips he massaged his entire scalp, soft at first, relaxing, and with pressure later, retaliating. He placed himself under the water again, with his eyes closed until he was sure there was no more shampoo in his hair.
He took the pot of conditioner off the shelf and repeated the same process. He ran his fingers over each strand so delicately, caressing them; he felt his hair regain its silkiness. He took the soap with both hands and rubbed his skin with it, with great force, trying to erase any memory with that act; shortly after he felt how he began to hurt his back."I can't allow that to happen again."He didn't stop until his fingers began to ache and his skin kept on burning.
He again got under the shower and rubbed his skin until he was sure he had cleaned all the soap. He had scratched himself in various places but he was not paying attention to it right there."It's not important... I deserve it."He didn't open his eyes until he stopped feeling the remnants of the rinse on his hair.
He stayed a few more minutes enjoying the tranquility of the water running through his muscles."This is the most relaxing thing I've ever done."He thought running his hands up his arms, reaching up to his shoulders and pressing pretty hard.
"You're kidding yourself," a voice whispered in his head.
He immediately opened his eyes without wanting to accept that it was right; he preferred to ignore everything that had happened the night before. He slammed the faucet off and felt the cold air crawl his skin for a moment.
He grabbed the towel and wiped away the drops of water one by one before starting to dress. He put on the blue sweatshirt and pants he had chosen before showering. He slowly picked up the dirty clothes from the floor and put them all in a backpack."Later I go do the laundry."
He saw his reflection in the mirror again and, although almost nothing had changed, he felt better after having bathed."Maybe I just need a moment to calm down."He took a small tube from the bag his sister had prepared for him."She knew I would forget about it, even though I refused to put it in my luggage."
He smeared the almost white cream under his eyes and watched as the blue bags began to lighten until they were almost gone."This is our little secret… Thank you, Fuyumi."He put the product away and wiped off the excess that was left on his fingers.
He opened the bathroom door and went to his nightstand, where his phone was. He saw the time and sighed, putting the phone back in the same place.
"I'll go see if I can get something to eat now." He took the empty glass of water off the table.
"I should go and apologize."The two voices in his mind were starting to fight. The low-pitched one said that he hadn't done something as bad and the high-pitched one was trying to convince him to go straight to Midoriya's room at that moment. He pretended to be deaf for both of them when he saw the backpack where he had placed all of his dirty clothes and decided that he better put it to wash before it was late. He slung his bag over his shoulder and walked slowly out of his room.
He didn't want to wait for the elevator to arrive so he went down the stairs, jumping the steps two at a time until he reached the second floor. He couldn't help but turning his face to the left and stare at the second door."Is he awake?"His mind betrayed him but he managed to look away quickly and continue his way.
There weren't that many people on the first floor."Many must be asleep, taking advantage of the day off."He greeted the four boys who were sitting on the couch."Midoriya is not here."He wanted to ask them about him but he preferred not to raise suspicions, so he went directly to the laundry room.
He pushed open the door with both hands and some humid air let him know that someone had had the same idea as him. He nodded in greeting when he saw Sato standing in front of one of the machines and thanked him for the delicious cake he had baked in the morning.
He crouched between two washing machines, separated the clothes into two piles before putting each one of them in each drum, added some detergent and fabric softener on them, closed both doors, and pressed the buttons for them to start spinning.
He knew he would have to wait a little over an hour so he left the laundry room wondering what to do. Kirishima, Kaminari, Shoji, and Ida called out his name when they saw him again."It would do me good to hang out with the boys."He walked over to them, gazing entertainingly at the tiles on the floor."I'll do that while the clothes are washing."
Todoroki settled into the vacant seat next to Kirishima, in the corner of one of the sofas, and joined in their conversation about why their classes had been canceled."I haven't talked about that with Midoriya... I have to ask him what is wrong with him, he is much more nervous since before Aizawa-sensei came."
The hour flew by and he hadn't realized that his clothes had already finished washing. He went to get the wet clothes out and put them in the dryers. He programmed the machines and went back out of the laundry room.
He could hear his stomach growl at him, claiming the food he hadn't given him all day. He put a hand on his head, right where he was starting to feel the blood pumping hard."I must be so hungry my head hurts."
He returned to the living room and sat down with the boys again."It felt good to think about other things."A few minutes later Yaoyorozu arrived with a tray with several cups of tea, gave one to each one of the boys and joined them. She began to explain what tea he had prepared and why."She loves to talk about these things; she looks as passionate as she does when she is in battle."
Todoroki stayed there a while longer. He listened to them attentively until he had to go back to the laundry to fold his clothes. He placed all the clothes, very carefully, in the backpack to prevent them from wrinkling a lot and retraced his steps down the hall with a wide smile on his face."I'm finally done with this for today."
He walked through the dorms with his bag slung over his shoulder and saw that almost all of his classmates were already there. He greeted those he hadn't seen before and excused himself to go and put his things away. He walked slowly to his room and quickly put all the clothes in the closet.
He grabbed his favorite jacket and put it on before walking out and closing the door behind him. He zipped it up, smiling as he remembered what his mother had told him when she gave it to him."It was from Touya but he never got to use it."The sentimental value that it had for him was enormous and it was also very comfortable and soft; he ended up wearing it whenever he could.
He rejoined his classmates on the first floor and convinced them to eat something; he had endured enough. The girls asked him to go find the few who were not in the common area and, after carefully looking around him, he realized that he should go to Midoriya's room too.
He left him for last, and when the time came, he couldn't give it any more thought. He had no choice but to knock on the door and push it a little to tell him that they were preparing something for dinner and to come down as soon as possible although the food would be ready at any moment. He closed the door just as softly after hearing Midoriya tell him that he was coming down right away."Should I have apologized at once?"
He went up to his room again to find his phone, he had left it before going to do the laundry. He stopped in front of the elevator."I'm tired of the stairs for today."And he waited while he checked the notifications, took a couple of steps into the box when the door opened and hit the button for the first floor."I'm glad we're finally going to eat. I'm starving!"
The door reopened before it reached his destination and the green haired boy he had been avoiding for a while entered, standing next to him. They were both breathing heavier than they would like to but they couldn't help themselves. They felt their throats go dry, preventing them from saying anything."I don't know what to do."Todoroki thought, as he put a hand over his throat and cleared it trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.
They got out of the elevator and walked in silence. You could feel the tension between them, it was almost visible from the flushed expression on their faces when they reached the kitchen. It seemed that even fate insisted on putting them together because there were only two seats left at the table; and they would have to sit next to each other.
They quickly occupied the empty chairs and began to eat. That's when almost everyone realized that he was starving; he ate almost choking with the food because he wanted to finish as soon as possible. His jaw began to ache from not being used to eating so fast.
He looked around and realized that he hadn't been the first to finish but he would be the first to get up. He accidentally hit the boy next to him when he dragged the chair back, awkwardly apologized to him before picking up and washing his dishes, wiped his hands on a piece of paper and said goodbye to his classmates. Without thinking, he gave Midoriya a sideways glance, extremely fast, before disappearing through the door.