"I want you to need me like I need you
I need you to see me when I'm see-through
It's sad but it's true
No one's waiting for you."
- Powerless (Waterparks)
"I am going to kill him!" Chloe declares, to no one in particular as she paces the kitchen of their shared home, with Maze looking on in bemusement.
"One, don't steal my schtick, Clo. Two, I think you'll find there's quite a long line for that particular honor."
"I- Clo!" The Detective swings around, gaping at Maze's nickname. It would be difficult to hide the snort of amusement that bubbles up as a result of Chloe's reaction and expression, so Maze doesn't. The sharp exhale of breath causes ripples across the surface of her coffee cup which has steam rising lazily out of it, and which one of her hands is curled around possessively. The heat radiating from it feels strangely comforting, and Maze basks in the warmth of it.
"Problem?"
"Nevermind. I can't exactly stop you." Chloe rolls her eyes. Maze grins.
"Precisely."
"Screw you.
"You wish you could."
It's Chloe's turn to give an undignified snort at Maze's response, visibly struggling to hold in the large mouthful of coffee that's just passed her lips. She swallows, hard, and proceeds to pass Maze a dirty look, although there's no weight behind the gesture, and the skeptical raising of Maze's eyebrows that follow it indicates just how seriously she actually takes the threat.
Chloe huffs, leaning against the cabinets behind her like it's the only thing keeping her upright. The smirk falls from her face abruptly, dropping like an apple from a tree, and Maze exhales again as soon as she realizes what's coming.
"Can I vent, please? I need..- someone to be honest with, Maze?" Chloe ducks her head, and Maze doesn't miss the way her breath hitches on the final syllable, her name, in a way that betrays her true feelings about the subject that Maze has spent the entire morning skirting around; feeling like she's treading carefully around the edges of a rabbit hole because she doesn't want to fall down it.
"Knock yourself out." Maze answers, coolly, lifting her drink up. The hot liquid scorches her throat, and she can feel it settling in her stomach as she adds, "Metaphorically or literally, I'm actually fine with either.
When Chloe doesn't respond, the demon just shrugs.
"Alright then, surprise me."
The Detective stares at her.
"How can you be so calm about this whole thing with.. you-know ." She demands suddenly, her voice rising, bottled emotions spilling out of her; a dam that's suddenly burst open inside of her, "I don't even want to know how he managed to get himself discharged from hospital so early, and we both know he's now going to pretend that none of this it never happened, that he didn't nearly die on me, and I know you know just as well as I do that that he's going to..-to.- you-know-"
"Internalize his own issues and ignore how his actions are hurting everyone else?" Maze suggests, mildly, pausing to take another sip of coffee before adding, almost as an afterthought, "It's actually pretty impressive how skilled he is at doing that, believe me."
"Can you please take this seriously?"
"I am taking this seriously." Maze squawks, opening her mouth like she's planning on saying more, but the words die as soon as she spots movement in the corner of her vision.
It's Trixie, watching them both with wide, silent eyes.
None of them noticed her coming in.
Chloe follows Maze's gaze and suddenly leaps up, a taut spring suddenly released as she runs up to her daughter and crouches down, with swift, practiced movements, gently cupping the child's face in her hand. Maze realizes that her own presence, in a single moment, has been completely forgotten by the Detective, as if the world for Chloe has shrunk so that the only two people in it are her and her spawn.
She watches with interest as Chloe's voice carries across the room, quiet and hushed. Her housemate's back is turned to her, but Maze can see the worry pulsing through her like an electrical current as she talks.
"How much, " Chloe pauses, choosing her words carefully, "How much of that did you hear?"
Trixie's bottom lip trembles, and her eyes glisten.
"I heard you... talking about Lucifer. You sounded worried, so I got worried, so I came down because I wasn't sleepy anymore."
"Oh, pumpkin." Chloe leans back on her knees, releasing her hands gently. They move upwards almost on their own accord and start to run softly through Trixie's hair with rhythmic, even strokes.
Maze feels something tense inside her loosen, but she doesn't know what or why.
Chloe's answer unravels her line of thinking, her voice holding deceptively steady as she answers Trixie , "It's fine, you're right, Maze and I are a tiny bit worried, but it's nothing big. Lucifer just got a little hurt on our last case, alright?"
Trixie's expression forms a doubtful frown.
"If it's alright, then why are you and Maze worrying."
Maze sees Chloe's muscles clench, a heavy silence oozing out into the air as she searches for a way to respond.
"I-"
"Because he's our friend." Maze cuts in. One final mouthful and a large gulp drains the dregs of her cup, and she places it back down on the countertop with a dull thud as she catches a grateful look from Chloe, who twists round, "That's what friends do for each other. They worry for each other, even when there's no good reason to. Because they can't help it."
The words just spill out of her. Maze is just as surprised at their contents as anyone else. She doesn't know where they came from, and recoils back, baffled, as soon as she's finished.
Trixie gives a nervous smile, though, indicating that whatever Maze said, it worked.
"Is that why I'm worried as well."
"That depends." Chloe mouthes a quick 'thank you' to Maze, before she refocuses back on her daughter, whose large brown eyes are thick with curiosity. "You consider Lucifer to be your friend too, right?"
"Yeah!"
"Then sure, that's probably why you feel that way." Chloe tucks a strand of Trixie's hair behind her ears absently. Meanwhile, Maze's mind is racing, a whirling pool of emotions bubbling up and steaming up her thoughts, sticking in her head, molten and persistent.
Because he's our friend.
She's never really put much thought into the matter before, never really tried to put her relationship with Lucifer into words, before. Besides, before, it had been simple. Easy. She would go where Lucifer went. She would do what Lucifer wanted. He was the Lord of Hell, and she was his most-trusted demon. He was a king, and she was his subject.
She was bound to him by loyalty and obedience, only-
Only, it's different now. Maze refuses to be his tame pet anymore. Hasn't been, for a while now. The thought of going back to such a subservient relationship makes her sick, in fact.
She reminds herself of all the times since then when she's spilled his blood and hit him, not because he asked her to, but because he was being stupid and because she felt like it. And of all the times that he hit her back, red eyes blazing.
Unprompted, a memory barrels into her with near-physical force. Lucifer's brown eyes, softening with trust. The way she would sometimes catch his mouth curling at the edges in admiration and gratitude when she defended him, not because he asked her to, but because she felt like it and-
Because she cared.
That doesn't stop the word, 'friend' from still feeling foreign in her throat. But this time, Maze lifts her head in determination.
She can work with it.
...
"Maze?"
She glances at Chloe.
"Uh-huh?"
A quick check confirms that Trixie's vanished, probably back up to her room, during the time that Maze has spent zoning out. Chloe has returned back to her slack position next to the cabinets and is rubbing her own, half-full mug of coffee between her two hands. The tiny lines of steam emerging from it are wispy and thin, and although Chloe eyes the concoction, she makes no effort to drink from it as it grows colder.
"Do you think we should visit Lucifer?" she says, catching Maze by surprise, "I mean- he's at Lux, right? I can't help but feel he needs someone to check in on him."
"I'll go." Maze offers.
"What about me?"
"That's.. probably not the best idea right now."
Chloe's face falls.
"Oh."
"It's nothing to do with you, I swear." Maze backtracks, scrambling to rearrange her thoughts in a different way, "It's Lucifer, actually. " She hesitates, choosing her words carefully. Rubs her eyes, impatiently, "You've never seen him after something.. this bad. I have. Trust me, he doesn't exactly have a good record of dealing with these things... healthily, if you know what I mean."
Chloe huffs, "Really. You think I can't handle him at his worse, when he really needs help, that's it?"
"No, I don't." Maze's words are blunt. Chloe blinks in surprise. Maze shrugs. "I'm not saying you can't see him at some point. Just let me get a sense of the gravity of the situation first. I've known him longer, so-"
"I should trust you." The Detective's voice is unreadable. Maze pauses before giving a firm, resolute nod.
"Yes."
"Alright."
"What?"
"Alright, then." Chloe repeats, downing the rest of her coffee in one go, "I'm stupid, but I will. Trust you I mean. If what you're saying is true, I'll let you deal with the self-destructive tornado known as Lucifer on your own, just-" The Detective lets out a harsh, decisive breath through her teeth, "...Keep me informed. Promise?"
Maze beams back with a release of breath that's mingled with traces of laughter, whilst ignoring the doubts eating away at her insides as she does so.
Why does it feel like she's just offered to enter a den full of hungry wolves?
"Promise."
...
A wave of deja vu slams into Maze as she enters an empty, deathly quiet Lux for the second time in two days. Street lights dance behind her, passing cars illuminating the doors with pulses of white light. The walls of the club itself muffle those sounds as sensations as soon as she enters, and they disappear entirely as the doors of the elevator up to the penthouse slide shut behind her.
A few seconds pass, and then, the harsh notes of a piano spill into her ears. Like a sixth sense - over the years Maze has managed to attune herself to deciphering Lucifer's mood based on the way he plays.
There's an undercurrent running through the melody, which, although she doesn't recognize it, is fast-paced and violent. An undercurrent of suppressed feelings and frustrations being let out in one of Lucifer's less unhealthy coping mechanisms. But Maze isn't stupid enough to pretend that it's the only one that Lucifer's been practicing, either. The air is steeped in the smell of alcohol, and she eyes a half-drained bottle sitting abandoned on the countertop as she steps out of the elevator.
It's bad, then.
She mentally steels herself.
His back is turned to her, the black fabric of a fresh suit soaking up the light around it. He barely reacts to her presence, although it's obvious that it's been registered.
She waits for him to finish.
A minute or two passes. Despite everything, Maze's feet tap impatiently against the carpet, and her expression forms a hard line.
Abruptly, the music stops, and Lucifer twists round, fingers still poised against the keys as he stares at her through narrowed eyes. She senses him trying to read her, and his subsequent irritation when she throws up her own barriers to block such an attempt; reducing his efforts to droplets of rain trying to break through a rooftop. They're easier to deflect than she expects, and it's Maze's turn to narrow her eyes as she breaks the silence.
"I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be drinking so much, so soon after getting out of hospital."
Lucifer shrugs.
"I've basically healed already, Maze. You know how it is."
His voice is flat. Not exactly inviting. Maze also doesn't miss the way he dodges the question, and that's something that really doesn't surprise her because although Lucifer swears he doesn't lie, he's not above side-stepping and half-truths. Never has been. It's one of his constants, alongside the drugs, the sex, and the unintentional bottling up of his own emotions.
"So, you won't have a problem if I ask to see the wound, then?" Maze presses, a sly smile breaking across her features. Lucifer's own expression hardens as he recognizes Maze's attempts to trap him in a corner.
"I would, actually, Mazikeen. And I don't have to explain my actions to you."
Defensive. Avoiding his problems, Maze notes internally. And then snorts to herself. Linda's habit of psycho-analyzing everything must be rubbing off on her. Lucifer pushes himself to his feet abruptly and a brief flash of discomfort flits across his expression, and, in response, Maze jerks her head as she's reminded of the Doctor and her role in Lucifer's life.
"Have you booked a session with Linda?"
"I don't need to." He answers her shortly, and she barely thinks before the words fall out of her like a sudden uncontrollable cascade, unbidden from her throat.
"Lying to yourself still counts as lying, you know."
She expects Lucifer to react. She knows that he's on edge. But Maze just doesn't realize how bad everything actually is until she witnesses the magnitude of Lucifer's reaction to her accusation. His eyes fall on her, flashing furiously, leaping with hot, boiling sparks of anger.
Usually, Lucifer's anger runs cold. Icy, carefully placed words constructed to tear down his opponents at their weakest points. But this isn't that. This is a blinding storm blurring his normally-calculated judgment, and Maze realizes that it's much worse than she thought.
Despite the circumstances, relief bubbles up inside her and Maze is suddenly grateful for having the foresight to leave the Detective behind. She's just glad that Chloe doesn't have to witness this.
Lucifer's hand flies up with the intention of hitting her, of lashing out at the nearest person, but Maze sees it coming and moves, instinctively, to catch the blow.
That's when everything happens at once.
...
Her curled fingers catch his sleeve, and briefly touch the bare skin of his wrist. Completely out of character, Lucifer recoils, twisting backwards, and his collar slips down to expose his neck. Or rather, the small, dark and barely-noticable bruise blossoming there. An injection site. Maze blanches, and let's go with a faint gasp of surprise as she does so.
Lucifer leans over, heaving for breath, the whites of his eyes showing.
"What the hell is that?" Maze swears, reeling from alarm.
The Lord of Hell recovers from him.. whatever that was - quickly, and rubs at the site that Maze is so fixated on with one pinky and with his face showing the opposite of concern.
"Drugs. A needle. I was at a bloody hospital, Maze, No need to get your knickers in such a twist."
"Then please explain how a needle managed to pierce your skin, Lucifer Morningstar. You're supposed to be invulnerable, in case you've forgotten." Maze snarls back. Knots of panic coiled up in her gut and tighten. Lucifer, in contrast, just looks mildly surprised.
"Oh. I didn't think about that, actually." He drawls out, rubbing the bruise again with fascination this time. Maze wants to stab him, really, because this is his life and he's not even taking it seriously.
"Just a regular, bog-standard needle, right." She paces across the room, with tight, clipped steps that ricochet off the walls and hang in the air like a thick shroud of mist as she scours her own mind for an explanation. "I know the Detective wasn't around, because I was with her at our house. And.. you're sure the Nurse was just a regular run-of-the-mill human?"
"She fell for my mojo. Easily. Her will was weak." He replies, casually.
Maze lets out a ragged breath. There's a knife lying on one of the shelves. Regular. Human metal. She picks it up and tosses it over to him in one fluid motion, "Try this."
Lucifer's eyes dawn with understanding as he catches the blade.
With a lazy, practiced flick, he drags the knife, lightly, across the palm of his own hand. Beads of bright red blood bubble up from the shallow cut left in its wake.
...
"Interesting."
Maze hisses through her teeth almost immediately, clenching her jaw so tightly that it burns her, "I- no, Lucifer, not interesting. You're actually invulnerable this time. Not just around Chloe. Around anything." She resumes her pacing, as an unsuccessful distraction so that she doesn't have to face the implications of this, "That's bad. Can't you see?"
"It's probably temporary." Lucifer shrugs." It's probably just a side-effect of my." He swallows, reluctantly. "...situation."
"You got stabbed by Azrael's blade."
She says it as a statement, not a question.
Lucifer pauses
"And?"
Maze takes the opportunity to ask. "Do you know who stabbed you, then?" Her hands form fists by her side, "Did you deal with them? Where's the blade now." The questions roll off her tongue as an avalanche.
"That's none of your business." He shuts her down with an icy stare. "I've got everything under control. I can handle myself, Mazikeen. I don't need your interference."
"You got stabbed by the blade belonging to the Angel of Death. We don't know what that might have done to you." Maze presses, loudly with persistance. She opens her mouth to say more but before she can, Lucifer snaps.
"-And I survived." He interrupts, his words drenched in venom. "Which is more than most people can say."
Oh.
Suddenly, Maze understands. She steps back, and her voice is a hushed, hesitant whisper.
"This is about what happened to Uriel, isn't it"
...
There's a moment's pause, and Lucifer growls. His tone burns with pure, undiluted fury.
"Get. Out."
Maze realizes she's stepped too far. Normally she wouldn't care. But it's not just Lucifer who apparently needs time and space to process everything that's just happened between them. Besides, her phone is vibrating against her leg, and she needs to plan her next move. Furthermore, despite Lucifer's insistence that he can handle himself, Maze does not plan on letting the person responsible for all this go unpunished.
She needs to do some of her own Detective work.
That, and a thousand other reasons, are the cause for the way she turns her back on him, and heads back towards the elevator, with her two final parting words coming flat and cold.
...
"Suit yourself."
...
A/N - I think this goes without saying, but the response to this story has actually blown me away, and it really means a ton. 3
Anyways, what I've ended up doing is alternating between Lucifer and Maze's POVs each chapter, and I'm quite liking how that's working so far. The angst is still coming strong, but I can promise that, similar to this chapter, there's definitely going to start to be some comfort coming through, slowly, as well. I'm not.. that evil (probably.)
Anyways, as always, I hope you're enjoying this so far, and I hope everyone's doing alright!