Sorry if you're not a fan of onomatopoeia. I tend to use them a lot in my writing.
.
.
–—―–—
[I'm sorry] Subaru muttered once again. The veins on his forehead had not died down, in fact there was
now more of them. Throbbing and pulsing away it was as if they had wrapped his brain like a dozen ropes
and began to constrict, his headaches only got worse. 'They're dead aren't they?'
.
Until this point that's the one thing he was unsure of, but Subaru could now smell it: The smell of death.
It was not the worst smell in the world but it certainly held a very heavy feeling, the kind not much others
can reproduce. He could smell it, the weight of it now bear down on him as it filled his nose demanding his
full attention.
.
'Killed. They've been killed in fact; And now they're dead, I did it; It's me, It's my fault~, I'm sorry'
.
Subaru: [Please forgive me. Emilia, Ram, Julius, Echidna.]
.
Please.
.
–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—SPLAT!
.
A wet sound echoed up the staircase.
.
–—―–—–—―–—SPLAT!
.
A wet sound echoed in his brain.
.
.
.
Subaru could guess what that sound was.
.
Subaru: [Shaula why?]
.
'Not like this, this isn't what I wanted'
.
It was not meant to be like this, he supposed, He didn't want this in fact, no he didn't, but he asked for it~.
Why. Why did he ask for it? Subaru didn't know anymore: he feels like his head trails off, he feels like it's
only good at highlighting the worst in things, why-
.
SPLAT!
.
Shooting his eyes open, Subaru stood up straight like a lightning bolt. Immediately he turned for the
staircase and sprinted down it.
.
'I can't rest, so I just need to confirm it! See it with my own two eyes! Please, Shaula–—―–—.
Tell me you didn't let them suffer for my sake.'
.
.
.
.
.
Subaru: [Please...]
.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
.
Sniff, sniff. Sniff, sniff. Shaula's nose twitched.
.
'Ohohoho Master's coming to visit my room! I best get ready!'
.
Looking down at her handiwork, a derisive sneer had crept up on her face. Eyes squinting into
crescents, she dusted her hands off and spoke:
.
Shaula: [Phew, worked up a sweat that did! Sorry Ram-chan, Master's
waiting for me!]
.
Walking out the room with a Click as she locked the door. Her face snapped towards Subaru's direction
like a homing launcher; And following that she got down into a sprinting posture before WHOOSH!
Shooting off back towards her quarters.
.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
.
Turning round the corner of the staircase archway Subaru looked around for Shaula's room, but he soon
found that he didn't even need to search for it
.
[–—―–—Master–—―–—!]
.
Shaula was flying down the hallway barrelling towards him like a bullet. Seeing this Subaru
desperately braced himself to receive the full blow hoping he wouldn't be torn in half by a hug. Closing
his eyes, he waited in anticipation–—―–—
.
–—―–But no matter how much time elapsed he just stood there feeling nothing.
.
Slowly opening his eyes after a few seconds of realising this, he saw Shaula: He jolted in a panic because
she was so close they're eyeballs were nearly touching, it's all he could see in his vision and he was
convinced Shaula was trying to bulge her eyes open further so that they could touch.
.
'At least she doesn't seem any different' Subaru guessed, half in doubt.
.
Subaru: [Ummm... Shaula–—―. Aren't you a bit too close.]
.
Shaula: [Not close enough!] Saying that, Shaula wrapped her arms around Subaru's arm.
.
-hk! Subaru shivered. Her arm was cold, it was very cold. Dragging him by the armpit Shaula led him back
to the bedroom where it could just be the two of them. Thinking on this she beamed back towards Subaru.
Subaru could only respond with an anxious smile. All the lights were still off anyway so he could only be
thankful that Shaula was guiding him.
.
'Should I ask her?' he thought. Subaru now tended to think on things less because he felt that he was losing
his grasp on himself everytime he did so. But still, he knew this was something he NEEDED to carefully consider.
He had to ask what she did. He had to, he supposed.
.
.
–—―–—
–—―–—–—―–—
Subaru: [Shaula–—―. Are they, dead?]
–—―–—–—―–—
–—―–—
.
.
Shaula: [hum~ hum~ hum~]
.
Not even registering it, or maybe just ignoring it, Shaula just continued humming her happy songs. She
didn't seem to want the mood be spoiled.
.
'I guess I'll ask her later...'
.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
.
Arriving at the door of Shaula's room, they both just stood outside it in silence.
.
–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—BANG!
.
Subaru: [What the!?]
.
Immediately kicking the door down and off its hinges, Shaula motioned Subaru to come in with silent
anticipation. Treading lightly, Subaru walked over the wobbly door and entered the room which was then
roughly barricaded back shut by Shaula, who was wedging the broken door in place with super strength.
.
'Just what is with her? I don't get it.'
.
Shaula: [Ohoho~ What do you think of Shaula's quarters Master?]
.
Subaru: [It's... It's a bit of a mess...]
.
Broken desk, righted back up with loose objects; Torn curtains pulled half way off their frame,
and many many pieces of scrap paper that were balled up lay about.
.
Subaru: [You live in here?]
.
Shaula: [How rude Master! This is to be the shrine in which we consummate our love]
.
Subaru: [Our love eh?]
.
Shaula: [Yes Master!]
.
Subaru: [–—―–—]
.
[In fact, I've got a novel here packed with ideas Master!] Shaula said this while pulling out her 'novel'
from the broken draw.
.
Subaru heavily sighed into his hands at her actions [Do I really need to see this?] he asked
.
Shaula: [Ohoho yes Master, you'll love it!]
.
Subaru: [Now that you mention it, there seems to be a lot of paper lying about...]
.
Picking up one of the many scrunched up pieces of paper, Subaru unfurled it to look at the contents.
...Only now, he wish he hadn't. It depicted a drawn image of himself too disgusting to conceive, not
to mention it was grossly over-exaggerated.
.
Subaru: [–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—]
.
Slowly scrunching it up and gently placing it back where it was, he could only go on with life
pretending he never saw it. To this Shaula pulled the most smug expression she could possibly
conjure. [Incredible, isn't it.] she asked as it if were rhetorical.
.
[LIKE HELL IT IS!] Subaru retorted while mercilessly bonking her on the head.
.
[Ow~ Master~~!] Shaula moaned. She moaned as if she had been rehearsing this moment her entire life.
.
'I just cant win with her.' He grumbled.
.
'Ohohoho He did it!' Shaula was truly happy as she crossed 'physical abuse' off her target criteria.
Having reached her first milestone she charged full steam ahead for her next goal 'naturally, relieving
Master's pent up stress is what comes after physical abuse ohohohoho' she chuckled to herself
.
Shaula: [You've GOT to see this book Master!] she ordered, [we can even act out the dialogue!]
.
Subaru: [Really..?]
.
Shaula: [Yes!]
.
–
–—―–—–—―–—haa
[Ok fine, let me have a look] Frightened by her tenacity Subaru weakly agreed
to give it a glance:
–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―––—―–—–—―–—–
Shaula's Dream Journal:
.
Shaula: [Master~ what is that thing you've got hiding down there~?]
.
Subaru: [What where?]
.
Shaula: Down here~]
–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—
Subaru: [Oh that's my wait no why am I reading this!] Regaining his sanity he swatted the book away
to shield his eyes.
.
Certainly this happens everywhere he goes. The hero Natsuki Subaru seemed to be a ladies man, but
Subaru could never figure out he tamed this beast. He felt Shaula was an absolutely impossible woman
who he could never ever understand. It didn't even seem like the others were well acquainted with her
meaning he must of met her recently; So what did he do to garner all this... well, this. The unconditional,
undying, unending affection that would never waver nor be swayed: It was to the extent where she'd even
carry out his bidding, his dirty work, killing others for... 'Their memories!'
.
Subaru: [Shaula! Ignore that book for now that's not why I'm here!]
.
Shaula: [Then why are you here?]
.
.
.
Subaru: [–—―–—I'm concerned about the other books.]
.
–—―
–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—
Shaula: [I see. –Well you shouldn't be too worried about that its taken care of...]
–
–—―–—–—
Subaru: [In what way was it taken care of?]
–
–—―–—
Shaula: [Swiftly.]
–—―–—
Subaru: [But I heard, Shaula... I heard something]
.
Shaula: [Oh that...well... One of them resisted.]
.
Subaru: [–—―–—–—―–—]
.
Shaula: [It was the pink one. Ram-chan, You were asleep at the time but she tried to kill you Master.]
.
Subaru: [She did?]
.
Shaula: [–—―–—Yes Master. I didn't want to but she forced my hand.]
.
Subaru: [I see...]
.
–—―–—
–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—
–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—
No senseless banter, no tangents. It was straight and to the point, it was matter-of-fact: Shaula's
responses threw him off. 'I get that this is a serious topic but this still doesn't sound like the Shaula
I know... it's TOO cutting edge.' It felt like he could be sliced simply by her words if he ever did something
deserving of those words. Her smile was still present but her eyes weren't smiling, it was uncanny; But,
she wasn't too different. That was why it was uncanny: Not too different, but their was a factor there.
What was it though and what was it in fact, he asks this to himself because he didn't know, he supposed.
Which one was her? The real her?
.
Subaru: [But still the sounds Shaula, they were endless. Just what happened?]
.
Shaula: [Master need not be concerned about that. In short she used her demon transformation so I just
had to encourage her out of that state.]
.
Subaru: [Encourage her..]
.
Shaula: [–—―–—–—―–—]
.
Subaru: [You're not lying to me are you Shaula?]
.
Shaula: [–—―–—No master.]
.
–—―–—'Fuck! I just cant tell anymore. Is she ever honest? Or can she not lie? Who are you Shaula,
are you someone I can trust?'
.
'Are you not the same Onii~san~?' He thought: Well he didn't think that but it still surfaced in his mind.
'What? He asked himself. 'Who i~s the real you~. –—―–—Is it me? –—―–—Is it you? –—―–Or someone
else?'
.
'The real me?'
.
Surely it would be the me talking right now? [[But I~'m here too Onii-san]]
.
But you're Meili. [[Is that what you thi~nk? Meili's dead.]]
Then who are you? [[Who kno~ws...]]
[[I'm a voice in your head.]]
Like my conscience?
[[Correct...]]
Then..
..You're right. I'm the same.
Is this even me talking right now?
Or is it you?
.
'Shaula is the same as me, except I'm worse, can I even trust myself anymore? I'm sorry Shaula. You killed them,
but I asked you to. I didn't even specify how to kill them, It's my fault even if she's lying because... I wasn't even
fucking thinking!' Biting his lips Subaru could only fall deeper down the depths of his mind, edging across the
boundary on sanity.
.
'I'm sorry! [[I~'m sorry]] [[I'm sorry, I suppose]]'
.
Please forgive me. Forgive me, in fact. I deserve death~. Why do I? I'm sorry, it was me. I killed Meili!
I'm just as bad, if not worse.
.
It wasn't the hero Natsuki Subaru, I doubt there's even much distinction between us. It was me
Natsuki Subaru. I killed Meilli.
.
I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it.
.
Patching together these thoughts.
.
Patching them together.
.
In the form of regret.
.
–
–—
–—―
–—―––—―–—
Subaru: [Shaula...]
.
Shaula: [Yes Master?]
.
Subaru: [Could you please kill me?]
.
–—―–—–—―–—[What was that? Master?]
.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
.
.
Subaru: [I'm sorry I promise to bring you all back.]
.
.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
.
Shaula: [Ahaha... Master. Could you repeat that?]
Please no, she hoped
.
Subaru: [Can you kill me, Shaula.]
Please do, he hoped: He hoped she would.
.
[I...] 'I can't'. She couldn't do that [I can't] she replied.
.
Subaru: [Why...]
.
Shaula: [I just can't, Master.]
.
Subaru: [Why.]
.
Shaula: [Please don't. Don't die!]
.
Subaru: [–—―––]
.
Shaula: [We're alone now! Just the two of us like before! Don't die!]
.
Subaru: [Don't die?]
.
Shaula: [Don't die on me again! I've waited 400 years for you to come back, don't die! Please!]
.
'Well she definitely wont let me kill myself now... I shouldn't of asked her. I've failed them'
.
Shaula: [Please, not again...]
.
Subaru: [Shaula pleas-]
.
Shaula: [NO!] she screamed [I WONT!]
.
Subaru: [WHY NOT? –—―–––YOU KILLED THE OTHERS WHY NOT ME!]
.
Shaula: [I KILLED THEM BECAUSE YOU ASKED ME TO!]
'I'm sorry Master. I wanted to.'
.
Subaru: [I'M ASKING YOU TO KILL ME, SHAULA! PLEASE!]
.
Shaula: [NO, I WONT! DON'T LEAVE!]
.
Subaru: [PLEASE.]
.
Shaula: [NO.]
.
––—
–—―–––—―–––—―––
Haa.. haa... haa..
Haa... haa.. ha..
They had to stop to catch their breath
–—―–––—―–––—―––
Why was it always like this. Why was she always left alone? She hated it. Master's back but it's still the same.
..
'What could I do...' Subaru pondered. 'What can I do?'
.
–
–—―
–—―–––—―–––
–—―–––—―–––—―–––—―–––—―–––—―––
Shaula: [I can't master, I cant kil-] BAM!
-hk
.
Subaru punched her, and asked again.
.
Subaru: [Kill me!]
.
Shaula: [No I-!] BAM!
He punched her again. It wasn't doing much and he knew that, but it got his message across. 'Hate
me Shaula, and then kill me...'
.
Shaula: [I can't-!]
Once again, he punched her...
.
Shaula: [Pleas-!]
...and again
.
Shaula: [–—―––]
and again.
.
And again, and again, and again.
.
.
.
.
.
–
–—―––
–—―–––—―––
–—―–––—―–––—―–––—―––[But.]
Shaula: [...But those books you wanted.]
'why did you ask for them then?
.
Subaru: [I want you to kill me, Shaula,]
'forget about those books Shaula.'
.
Shaula: [no...] BAM! [I wont.] SLAP! [Not you!-] WHACK! [PLEASE-!] SMACK!]
.
Subaru: [Shaula... please...]
'I hate doing this to you...'
.
Shaula: [...Why. Why does Master want to die...]
'Why master? I want to spend more time with you.'
.
Subaru: [I regret my decisions. I want to set things right.]
'I'm sorry Shaula. I have to go, so let me go.'
.
Shaula: [How could you dying do that–]
.
Subaru: [I can't tell you...]
.
-hk Shaula froze and clenched her fists.
.
Shaula: [Then. Then your lying Master!]
.
Subaru: [I'm not!]
.
Shaula: [I don't believe you! You never liked me did you! You want to leave me again! Why!]
.
Subaru: [I don't WANT to leave you!']
.
Shaula: [That's not true! ...I. I was happy we were together again. Together alone! I thought
that's what you wanted! So why!? Why do you want to go!?].
.
Subaru: [I CAN'T tell you!]
.
Shaula: [–—―–––—―––]
'Can't or wont Master, which is it. Let me know'
.
'What should I do... How could I...] he thought.
Shaula hadn't looked at Subaru in the eye since the whole argument began.
.
Subaru: [Shaula. I'm going to ask this once again-]
.
Shaula: [NO! I WONT! NOT YOU! I CANT BECAUSE I- MMMPPHF! MMPFF!]
.
Sealing her lips with his own, Subaru looked into her widened eyes and asked once again.
.
[Shaula. Please kill me.]–—―–—
–—―–—–—―–—well he attempted to ask this in a cool manner to cover up the heat rising
in his cheeks. Subaru surprised even himself with the determination he suddenly had, but
he soon found he didn't even need to hide it.
.
.
.
.
Gritting her teeth, Shaula mechanically stood up straight to look at Subaru and completely
dropped all her facades. With no mask on anymore, she could let her tears finally flow.
.
.
.
'Huh...Is this the first time I've seen her cry...'
.
But her simply crying wasn't the full extent of it. Pressing her nails to her palms and beginning
to draw blood, she stood completely still as she began to speak.
.
.
Shaula: [I...]
.
.
.
[I hate you Master.]
.
[I hate you...]
.
.
.
.
Those tears, They hate me. Her eyes, They hate me. They really hate me.
–—―––Good.
.
.
.
It was crystal clear to him. Everything about her right now, he felt it. Subaru now knew what
true hatred was.
.
.
.
Shaula: [I hate you...]
.
.
Shaula: [...for making me do this.]
.
.
.
.
Crying beneath an angry face, Shaula's voice had begun to crack. The world had let her down
because she wasn't good enough.
.
'Those anguished tears', Subaru wanted to wipe them off; And so he reached out-. But found
that he couldn't. He couldn't wipe her tears and he couldn't move his arm, he couldn't because
he was paralyzed by a giant needle that had split his heart and spine: The needle hadn't even moved
him an inch from where he stood, the only difference was that the needle was now there.
Blood began to pour from the corner of his lips, but Subaru just ignored it and continued
watching her tortured expression–—―–—
.
–—―–—
'Ah, she seems complicated' he thought. What lay in that expression were many tangled emotions
that even he, who had 3 minds didn't dare to attempt unravel them. He watched her in awe
simply because that face could drive someone mad just by looking at it; And he made sure to burn
it into his brain.
.
.
Shaula: [I hate you. Subaru.]
.
.
Subaru wanted to reply but his voice didn't work, so instead he mimed it out for her:
.
.
'Me too.'
.
.
But Shaula didn't quite catch it.
.
.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
.
.
Another 200 years had passed in that tower and the world had ended. Shaula's Master never
came back to her and she died alone waiting for him.
.
.
Please let me know if this or any future chapters have dropped in quality, I'll do my best to fix them.