In which Ramona Burke finds a toad
-September 1995-
Ramona wasn't exactly the world's biggest Quidditch fan but she didn't exactly dislike either, it was just dreadfully uninteresting. Regina had played while she was still in school, Keeper, and was the Slytherin's team captain in her seventh year so Ramona had a little store of Quidditch knowledge in her head from Regina's many rants on the subject. It was also often enough that she was dragged down to the pitch to watch the different teams practice whether that be to cheer on their friends or to mock Potter and co.
The day after her detention just so happened to be a day for mocking as Draco had caught wind that Ronald Weasley had made Keeper on the Gryffindor team and this was an opportunity he simply couldn't pass up. Ramona lagged slightly behind the group as they traipsed down the the pitch, clutching onto Blaise for warmth despite the multiple layers she was practically drowning under. She could never stand the cold, something that sucked major balls when living in the UK, and it only ever served to put her in a worse mood than before.
They got there before the Gryffindor team but there were already a few onlookers in the stands, most from the Slytherin team but also those from the other Houses to scout out that year's competition, Daphne went to every Quidditch practice she could, despite not so much as touching a Quaffle in her life, Quidditch was one of the 'greatest joys' in her life. It was windier up in the stands and Ramona was starting to regret agreeing to come along even if she did have to prove that she wasn't actually avoiding her friends.
"What's that Weasley's riding?" Draco's voice jeered down, meaning that the Gryffindors must have entered the pitch, sometimes she thought he had a sixth sense for sniffing them out, like a bloodhound for sniffing chivalry and recklessness. "Why would anyone put a flying charm on a mouldy old log like that?"
Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy roared with laughter while the others mentally prepared themselves for at least another hour of this shit.
"Hey, Johnson," Pansy called as the team huddled up in the air. "What's with that hairstyle anyways? Why would anyone want to look like they've got worms coming out of their head?"
Angelina Johnson firmly ignored the jibe but Ramona was not so controlled or calm in her reaction. "What the actual fuck, Pansy? Worms? Really?"
Pansy met her flaming gaze and looked almost guilty for a second. "I didn't mean it like that."
"Let it go, Mona," Delilah said firmly though she was no less pissed off by Pansy's ignorance. "It won't do any good to make a fuss about it."
She listened for once and tried to focus on the Quidditch although it was pretty difficult amidst the constant snarky commentary and exaggerated laughing every time a player fumbled coming from beside her. After a bit, a chant had started up, a painfully childish sounding: 'Gryffindor are losers, Gryffindor are losers', as Katie Bell bled furiously from the nose after being socked in the face with a poor pass from Weasley who was clearly thrown off by the crowd.
The practice was cut short as Katie turned an unsettling chalk white, the front of her robes stained dark red, an unnatural amount of blood from a nosebleed, the Weasley twins helping her back up to the Hospital Wing. Down a Chaser and both Beaters, Johnson stopped the practice and began to clear up though the jeers didn't stop till they'd left the pitch and were out of earshot in the changing rooms.
"Well that was a terrible waste of time," Delilah said as they hurried back up to the castle. "It lasted like what-twenty minutes?"
"Twenty minutes too long," Ramona grumbled, eyes meeting those of Harry Potter, who was leaving the changing rooms with a sullen-faced Weasley. She tried to convey her best apology for the day by nudging her head in the direction of Pansy and Malfoy who was walking fast to escape her and rolling her eyes. He managed a tight-lipped smile.
"Hurry up, I've got Divination homework to bullshit."
~~
Ramona didn't trust much of what the Daily Prophet had to say but it made for a good excuse not to have to talk to people in the mornings, seeming invested in that day's news. The morning it arrived, snatched just moments before it was about to fall into her porridge, with a large moving picture of Dolores Umbridge's face on the front cover, she knew the Ministry had stepped up their bullshitting game to a whole new level.
MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM
DOLORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED
FIRST EVER HIGH INQUISITOR
Once she found out what 'High Inquisitor' actually meant, basically a fancy title giving the old hag power to be even more of a little shit and more than just a general nuisance, anger blossomed in her chest. The whole article was blatant Ministry propaganda and nothing much more than an excuse to slander Dumbledore. While she could admit the man had many faults in how he hired his staff, she'd take him over Umbridge any day.
"What's wrong?" Delilah peered over her shoulder at the article, bleary-eyed and frizzy-haired.
"Umbridge just got worse, now she's got an excuse to be even more of a living nightmare."
The woman herself sat up at the staff table, looking far too pleased with herself, shoulders set back, a little smirk pushing at her round cheeks, a little golden badge, perfectly polished, pinned to the breast of her knitted cardigan. The now faded writing on the back of Ramona's hand itched. It was so sick, all of it.
True to the promises of the article, Umbridge started popping up in various lessons, clipboard in hand, trailing after teachers, quizzing students, asking horribly intrusive questions and just being more of a pain in the arse than usual. How she had time to do this on top of her regular class times and essay-grading, Ramona didn't know but she might have been impressed at the time-juggling had she not hated the woman so much.
Like she'd promised Delilah, she bit her tongue in class, no matter how angry she got, though it was definitely not easy. She'd managed to get through several days of these supervised lessons without incident until one Care of Magical Creatures class with the Gryffindors later that week which was a disaster from beginning to end.
Umbridge had spent her time quizzing students on various magical creatures, taking notes on her clipboard, most of them answering with little problem, while Hagrid's teaching methods were a bit unorthodox, they worked. It wasn't until the very end of the lesson, after she'd finished cross-examining Professor Grubbly-Plank in excessive detail, Umbridge turned to Goyle, her little smile widening.
"Now I hear there have been injuries in this class?"
Goyle shot a dopey grin at Malfoy who said: "That was me, I got slashed by a Hippogriff."
"A Hippogriff?" she began scribbling frantically on her clipboard, tutting under her breath.
"He was hardly slashed, Professor," Ramona couldn't stop herself from speaking up, Malfoy's dramatics had lead to that creature's death and even still he played the victim. "It was a scratch, he's hardly been crippled."
Malfoy was looking at her venomously, after his initial shock had subsided. "I was in a sling for weeks."
"Only because he was too stupid to listen to what Hagrid told him to do," Potter spat from a few feet away.
Several groans resounded from the other students as Umbridge's face went stony and she slowly turned to face him. "Another night's detention, I think. Well, thank you very much, Professor Grubbly-Plank, I think that's all I need here. You will be receiving the results of your inspection within ten days."
As Umbridge waddled past, she met Ramona's eyes, and pursed her lips. Despite how silly she looked, Ramona knew this was a warning, she was lucky she hadn't wound up in detention again but she wouldn't be getting any more chances after this. Another stunt and she'd be back to forcibly deforming herself.
~~
"What's wrong with you, Mona?" Pansy had exploded after a terse silence while the girls did their homework on the floor of their dorm in a little circle around a pile of sweets and snacks.
"Lots of stuff, Pansy, you'll have to be more specific."
Pansy's fists grabbed at the parchment she had half a Potions essay written on, crumpling it under her grip. "Why were you such a bitch to Draco earlier?"
Ramona huffed a bit and refused to look up from her Charms book. "Because he was being a drama queen about it, an innocent creature died because of his need for attention. All I did was call him out on it because it would have affected Umbridge's inspection."
Delilah and Daphne looked at each other awkwardly, unsure of whether they should try to slip out of the room before this dissolved into another famous Ramona vs Pansy row.
"That beast was hardly innocent, it almost killed him!"
"Pomfrey herself said he was fine! Are you trying to argue with a trained medical professional?"
"She wasn't there!"
"It was his own fault for not listening!" Ramona's sudden leap to her feet sent papers scattering everywhere, homework forgotten in her anger. "I'm leaving, don't follow me."
Making extra sure to slam the door behind her, Ramona took the steps two at a time to the common room, trying to control her breathing. She ignored Blaise as he reached out to catch her arm and shouldered past two little second years who'd yelled after her. She didn't know where she was going but she didn't care anymore, she just had to get away before she said something really bad and ruined her own life.
~~
They had almost been at school for a full month and Ramona hated it more with every passing day. She felt her friends grow more and more distant from her, her patience was near nonexistent and Umbridge only grew fouler, like a glass of milk left out on a warm summer's day. She'd tried hard not to earn herself another week's detention after the first, she wanted to get sick every time she looked at the fading pink mark on the back of her hand and wasn't sure she could handle another session, not with everything else going on in her life.
That morning she'd gotten a letter from Regina, it had to be since her parents had never sent her a letter in their lives and she had no close connection with anyone outside of Hogwarts besides her sister. She'd tucked the envelope away in her robes before anyone else had seen it and had the chance to pester her and she slipped away with the excuse that she had some homework to finish before class.
One of Ramona's favourite things about Hogwarts were the little alcoves on the first floor windows which were perfect for hiding yourself away in with a book during free classes or for reading letters from your sister that your friends definitely did not approve of. The alcoves were well-lit, comfortable and private enough without seeming too suspicious and like you were trying to hide something, even if you were.
Dear Mona,
I would ask you how school's going but I have a feeling I already know your answer. I'm sorry I didn't write much over summer but I've taken on a bit of a side-project and it's more than a bit time consuming. I'm hoping things quieten down a bit at the shop so maybe I can meet up with you in Hogsmeade sometime soon, just send me on all the dates once you get them.
On a more serious note, how are you doing after everything that happened last year? I know you were close with that Cedric boy and I also know that you're going to pretend you're not upset about it. Just try not to follow in my footsteps and act rashly, it never turned out in my favour and it certainly won't in yours. I don't think Imaan and Richard could bear another overwhelming disappointment in the family.
Take care of yourself and try not to get any detentions this year!
Regina.
P.s. please send some of those little lemon cookies the kitchens make I'm having really bad cravings for them.
Ramona folded the letter back up with careful hands and kept it safely in the inner pocket of her robes, making a mental note to reply later that night when the rest of the dorm was asleep. She hopped out of the little alcove, planning on heading back to her dorm to grab her school bag when she felt something land on her shoe. It was a toad. Not too perturbed by her new friend (much weirder things had happened), she slowly picked him up in cupped palms.
"Hey little guy," she held him up to eye-level and smiled at him. "You're handsome, aren't you? You're probably the best looking boy here, let me treat you to some breakfast."
Ramona headed back to her dorm, toad still cupped in her palms, hoping that Daphne (who also had a pet toad though hers had cost half a fortune and was as large as a small cauldron) wouldn't notice if she stole some of its food. She wondered briefly if she was truly losing her mind, seemingly having adopted some poor soul's lost toad and talking to it like they were long lost friends. She should probably make some missing posters.
As she fed the toad flies from a little container from Daphne's nightstand she said: "I should probably give you a name until I find your owner shouldn't I? You like Rasputin? I'll take your silence for a yes."
"Who are you-Merlin's balls, Mona!" Delilah and Pansy stood in the doorway, looking down at her in disappointment. She hadn't spoken to either since the fight last night but it seemed it would blow over as most of their rows did, with one of them forgetting about it overnight.
"What?" she said snippily, daring them to mock her and invoke her wrath.
Pansy rolled her eyes. "You've finally cracked, haven't you? Talking to a frog."
"Rasputin is a toad, dumbass."
Delilah barely held back a snort of laughter. "You named it?"
"Him," she corrected. "Not 'it'. Or at the very least, 'they' would've sufficed."
~~
Ramona spent the rest of her day making up 'Lost Toad' posters whenever teachers weren't looking during class and pointedly ignored her friends' judgemental stares as she did so. She'd only had Rasputin a couple of hours and already felt safer in his company than she did theirs even though he was a toad and couldn't really hurt her even if he tried.
She'd then spent her evening hanging up the posters around the school, having left dinner early after Pansy's drooling over Draco had put off her appetite, Rasputin tucked safely in her pocket, the slight weight in her robes almost comforting. It was really too bad she couldn't keep him, he was awfully sweet and didn't bite her like Bacon, her owl, did, however much she loved him aside.
"Hey, this is Trevor."
Ramona turned to a voice further down the corridor where a slight Ravenclaw girl with almost white blonde hair stood examining one of her posters, her shoes suspiciously absentee, tangled hair ornamented with little trinkets. Loony Lovegood, as most people tended to call the eccentric girl, she thought Delilah was the one to originate the name. Ramona had never personally spoken to her so she couldn't be much of a judge and she'd seen far stranger than a girl missing her shoes with some funky stuff in her hair, maybe it was a new fashion trend.
"Is this your toad?" Ramona fished him out of her pocket and approached the girl whose actual name she had to learn because even referring to her as 'Loony' in her head felt a bit wrong. "I found him this morning."
"Oh no," she said in a breezy voice that seemed very fitting, patting his little head with a finger laden down with homemade rings. "He's not mine, he's my friend's, he's always losing him. Personally, I suspect it's-"
Heavy footsteps and deep laboured breathing approached them and Neville Longbottom rounded the corner, red-faced and teary-eyed. "Luna I can't find him anywhere! Gran's gonna kill me!"
She laughed a bit, shaking her head, reminding Ramona a bit like the tinkling of bells. "He's right here, I told you the chant would work."
He then seemed to notice Ramona Burke standing there, his toad cupped in her palms, posters tucked under one arm, and he felt himself die a little bit inside as she stared him down. It really was just his luck that she'd find Trevor instead of somebody infinitely more approachable.
"He's yours?" she asked. "You're a lucky guy, Ras-Trevor is one special toad, don't lose him again or I might just keep him."
She placed the toad carefully into his hand and looked up at his pale face and wide eyes. She debated whether she should waste energy to try come across as more friendly and decided against it, he'd probably pass out from shock and even if that'd be a little funny she didn't wanna help haul him down to the Hospital Wing.
"Well then, I'll go take down my posters, don't miss me too much."
~~
Gina,
You were too late in your warning, I had detention the whole first week of school with the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor because she is so far up the Ministry's arse she can't handle listening to logic or understanding basic fact. You'll be really proud of me though, haven't gotten a detention since that first round and I'm not planning on it anytime soon.
I don't know if you've been reading The Daily Prophet but if you have, you have some idea of the absolute fuckery I'm putting up with on a daily basis. Umbridge, the new DADA professor (though that title is an overstatement she does little more than sit at the top of the room while we read the "Ministry Approved" textbook) is also now High Inquisitor and has been sitting in on all the other lessons and making up reports on all the other teachers. On top of this, she's absolutely sick, I don't feel right talking about it over post but next time I see you I can show you.
To be honest, I'm not doing too badly coping with Cedric's death, at least compared to Cho. I miss him more than I could've imagined and it makes me so angry thinking about it and my other friends have only grown more distant because of it, but things could be worse. It helps that I'm wasting a lot of energy being mad at other people so I don't have time to get too sad.
On top of all of this I can't find the jumbo pack of of Sugar Quills I packed anywhere. Personally, I suspect Millicent, she's been acting really shifty lately but I can't accuse her of anything without being told that I'm 'siding with bloodtraitors and mudbloods', that's pretty much their go-to comeback whenever I piss them off.
How's the shop going? I haven't been in ages and I think I might miss it more than you. Whatever your "side project" is, I hope it's to do with work instead of something dumb and reckless like it usually tends to be when you're being secretive like this.
I've attached a tin filled with as many of those lemon biscuits as I could fit, please make them last this time, the poor House Elves must be sick of me.
Mona.
P.s. Hogsmeade trip first weekend in October, Three Broomsticks?
P.p.s opinions on us getting a pet toad?