First Come First Serve
Parasite thought of whether her family was good or not. She tried to calculate the scores of each member.
Amuno - 9. Amuno was exceptionally kind to her. There was also the whole first come first serve rule that ran in the house. It had been Amuno's idea to have this rule since there was always the 'I'm younger I should have this' and 'I'm older I should instead' debate. So with the consent of Mother, Amuno made the 'If I get my hands on it first then NO ONE else can have it'. Amuno also tended to make demands like 'pat my head' 'say I'm cool' ect. Those were weird. But she also was used to being the youngest and that beckons some habits.
William - 5. Was this really a mystery? She liked William as a brother, and he was playful. But he was so rude. There was no place to go without him making a snarky comment. Thank God there was Amuno and Mitsura to fix him.
Mitsura - 8.
And that was it. Overall a score of ~7. Not bad for a family that fed her poison everyday. Parasite wanted to rip out her ears sometimes over some of the logic her family gave her.
'No Parasite you do not use the phrase 'i will kill you' so commonly in real life.'
'I hope you realize that most families don't give their children poison.'
OKAY THEN WHY DOES OUR FAMILY.
Amuno simply replied that their family was a nutcase. Fair enough though she still wanted to see the outside.
"Girl I know that you're growing like a weed but you still look like a very young child at the age of 2." William commented on her statement earning him a jab in the shoulder by Amuno.
Amuno brushed Parasite's hair back. Parasite smiled.
"Hey sis, what's it like outside?"
"It's really diverse." Amuno decided after thinking for a while.
"But what about compared to us, what are people like?"
"I guess, sadder. And overall somewhat weaker as well. They also wear clothing like jackets and sweaters. They also seem more…" Amuno paused, "I dunno, like unsure and more obsessed with something."
"Probably money."
"Huh?"
Parasite explained to sister what currency was.
"How do you know this stuff?" Amuno exclaimed.
"I guess I just learned it in Mothers womb."
It did not help Amunos' confusion.
"Hey." William rudely intruded on their conversation.
"Do you know Nen?" Amuno asked either William or Parasite.
"Yup." William grinned.
"Uh huh." Parasite said shortly after.
"WHAT. Why does everyone seem to know things that I don't?" Amuno exclaimed, "And no one told me?"
" 'Cuz ya stupid." William laughed.
Parasite laughed as Amuno chased William around the house.
If Illumi ever needed to look for someone who would make him feel untalented he would go to Amuno.
"Hey Illumi, say my Zetsu is good." Amuno requested, after learning Zetsu in 5min and mastering it to a point where it could rival Illumi.
"Yeah, your Zetsu is probably the most talented of practically everyone I know."
Amuno's face brightened and she smiled. From Illumi's perspective, Amuno was living a fairly free life and still managed to find joy easily. To be fair though, Illumi couldn't remember a single time where his parents had directly complimented him.
"Thanks."
"Lets try Gyo and some others now."
"Okay!"
After a while Illumi had taught Amuno, Gyo, Ko, and En.
"Illumi tell me what you think about my progress!"
"It's really good. Kind of makes me jealous."
Amuno put her hand on his shoulder, "Aww don't be. You're a great teacher! High five!" she raised her hand.
Illumi blinked.
"Don't tell me you don't know what a high five is." she warned.
"What's that."
Amuno's raised hand slapped down on her forehead. After carefully explaining to Illumi what a high five was she raised her hand.
Illumi high fived it, and they parted.
As good as it felt to learn how to high five someone, it felt better when Silva entrusted him with another big job. This time, a really big job.
Whether it was the flip side of the coin or not, Kikyo had ordered a sweater for him through some site called Ebay. (he would have to ask Amuno about that one later) Problem was that it was too small, and the design was weird. Just weird.
Illumi didn't know what to do with it.
"My mom gave me a sweater. What am I supposed to do with it?" Illumi asked Amuno later on.
"I dunno. Wear it?" Amuno's voice was tainted with sarcasm. (A term Illumi learned when he had taught her Ten.)
"Yeah but it's weird."
"Like how? Where did you get that anyways?"
"Some site called Ebay."
"No not EBAY! You never get things from Ebay! Amazon at least! What are you poor! No that's not it. I knew you assassins-living-on-top-of-mountain aren't cultured but this is too far!"
"What?"
"Tell your dad that you don't want to wear the sweater and that you have other ideas from your last expedition and that your mom needs a new shopping site!"
"I can't just say that!" Illumi gasped appalled.
"You WILL say that to save your pride and family's fashion sense!"
"It's not the best sweater but it's not the worst either!"
"But is it good enough for THE Illumi Zoldyck to wear in public?"
Illumi paused, "Well…"
"No. Exactly. So you will take the clothing I chose for you-"
"I didn't even answer!"
"-and you will wear that and proceed to pass your actual non-atrocity of a clothing style onto the rest of the family."
When Illumi did bring the sweater though Amuno laughed.
"It's not the worst…" Amuno giggled, "but it's terrible!"
Illumi sighed, "Why?"
"Well it's way too small! If you do want to kill someone with it, the size will restrict your movement. And for the gothiest, most quiet boy, let's just put in some bright green and swirl in a little radiant red! A perfect Christmas attire for May!"
Illumi looked down at his sweater. It didn't look that bad.
"But you know," Amuno snickered with tears of laughter at her eyes, "your mother might have found something that will bring more attention to you then a kimono!"
"Will you be quiet?"
However, the next day he did approach Silva.
"Dad."
"Yes."
"About moms clothing…"
"Yes?"
"It is too small so I can buy my own. I got some ideas from my last mission."
Silva looked surprised, "Very well then, though I never even saw this sweater. May I see it?"
When Illumi showed him the sweater. If he didn't know better he would say Silva was trying not to laugh.
He arrived the next night as well.
Before he even had time to open his mouth, Amuno threw a jacket at his face and crossed her arms.
He tried it. Amuno frowned. "Do you not have a normal T-shirt?"
"No."
She threw a T-shirt and jeans at him. This time he caught it.
"The jeans are my brother and the rest are bought." she frowned, looking at him.
The next day he showed this to his parents and they both said something around the lines of 'this might give you less attention.'.
Actually his dad didn't use the word might.
The night before he would go out for his mission, he visited Amuno again. He was wearing the outfit she had picked for him.
"Not bad." she judged, "My brother pulled it off better though."
"I like it."
"Hey Illumi, say that you like my clothing pick."
"I like it and appreciate it. Thanks."
"Wow. You're so serious Illumi. Is everyone in your house like this?"
"Yeah. What's Ebay and Amazon?"
"That's a topic for another day. For now, you should just focus on your assasination job. Being an assassin is a really cool job you know?" she beamed.
Illumi smiled, "I know."
Illumi walked outside for his assignment the next day. It felt more subtle. It felt more easy. No one was staring at him wondering if some parents got confused about the date of Chinese New Year.
The job was big, but Illumi was a decent assassin. He managed to eliminate the target. His acting was questionable when some guards confronted him, but he managed to get by.
When he came back home both his parents were impressed. And surprisingly enough, Milluki had started wearing more casual clothing as well.
Note: I realize I created quite a lot of confusion about Roshiko's in the last few chapters. So I'll try to clear things up in the next few chapters.