Despite the fact that Beastboy was a difficult character to read, Raven read him well.
She happened to study him better than her Azarathian novels, the Mornal Archives, the Galleon Scrolls, and the list goes beyond.
Due to her empathic nature, sensing Beastboy's emotions was fairly easy.
Even so, knowing Beastboy could be a task.
For as long as Raven remembered, her green companion was always cheerful.
He always seemed to have himself above the water and enjoying life.
Beastboy found enjoyment in puns and pranks, participated in festivities, and even invited Raven into them. The only time Raven has seen the opposite of this persona, was when any of the Titans were endangered, or when Cyborg was blaming Beastboy for a missing item.
Overall, Beastboy had a positive, warm aura that was adored by many, even Raven herself.
Following an event that took place recently, Raven discerned a change in her teammate.
After about a ten minute flight in the sky, Raven took a descend underground.
Raven's violet eyes dilated in response to the pitch black vicinity surrounding her. The soles of her feet crunched on pebbles as she journeyed deeper into the cave. Soon enough, Raven was able to make out a dark silhouette.
The figure was positioned directly in front of a monument, slightly hunched over.
Raven's head started to ache from the devastating amount of emotion radiating from her friend.
She stood silently behind the changeling, searching for words to say.
Perhaps, there were none.
Raven was frightened by Beastboy's unflinching, hushed condition.
"What, you're gonna tell me to "get over it", too? Everyone else has." the boy rasped.
"Not... really..."
There was another pause of silence, then Beastboy spoke again.
"Where is she?"
Raven pressed her lips lightly together, feeling the tension heighten.
"I don't know, Beastboy. Have you checked Murakami High School?"
"Of course I have, damnit. I check there everyday. I go from the small restaurant we ate pie at, the amusement park we laughed at, the high school where she said she had a geometry test next period, the riverbank where we skipped stones, the couch she slept in when she first came to the Tower, the bathroom she made a mud-fest out of. Only to find, that not even her grave knows where she is."
The dark Titan sat down next to Beastboy.
In his twitching hands, the shapeshifter held a silver, heart shaped box.
"And I don't mean it in the physical sense, because I know that's where you're going with this," his gaze remained fixed on the box, "I mean, "Where is Terra?"
"Where is she as a person?"
"Mhm. Like her personality, her love for carnivals... her."
The demoness listened closely.
"Love is such a complicated thing. Dude, it like... it takes over you. It takes over without you even realizing, or before you even want it to. Love makes everything look like a bed of roses when in reality, it can be a bunch of thorns. You can be hurting while in love, or hurting after, and not knowing how much because you're head over heels for a person. Sometimes you don't see how bad it is until everything ends." Beastboy vented.
"I know. To this day, I still struggle to believe that I loved Malchior. I was so caught up in the fact that he called me nice things I have yearned to hear for most of my life. He seemed to understand me, being dark, misunderstood, and rejected. Through all of that, and I failed to realize he exploited me for my powers and lied to me the whole time." regret stung heavily in Raven's voice.
"It just sucks to know that you could have feelings for someone, and they don't have the same sentiment towards you. You can give a person your all, Raven. And it is still not enough."
"Even to the point where you are willing to hurt yourself for their sake."
"Every time I think I'm over it, and that I finally healed, here it comes again crashing down on me. Sometimes I get so low from the hit that I don't think I can resurface." Beastboy's bitter words seeped through clenched teeth.
"As I am learning myself, some things are not meant to get over. It's hard to believe that in a world like this, I know. But honestly, some pains you never really heal from. You just learn to live with them."
"It's horrible, especially as a hero. Especially as... myself. Always having to act like everything okay, when it isn't."
"I understand, Beastboy."
"No you don't!" his stern voice broke into a cry, sending echoes against the walls.
Raven's eyes widened in shock.
"No you... don't."
Warm tears slithered down Beastboy's face, then onto the grey container he was holding.
The empath's heart twisted as her teammate wept.
Not long after, Raven fell under a crying spell of her own, feeling her emotions and Beastboy's all at once.
Raven snaked her arm around Beastboy and muttered softly, "I do understand, more than you know."
The changeling gingerly curled his arm around Raven, not too sure how to react to the act of care.
"I don't know when or how this will get better, but I know it will. It has to. Life is never always good, and it is never always bad either. Our job is to wrestle with the winters, and dance with the summers. As long as we are doing something... that is all that matters. Even if we have to do it together." Raven told Beastboy.
For another while, the pair mourned their own loss in each other's hold.
They both figured, as painful as it was to go through their own experiences, it was better going through it with someone by their side.
thank you for reading this comfort fic resonance. i hope you enjoyed :)