Ed got up off the floor and went to the fridge and grabbed two bottles of water, silently wishing one of them was something stronger, a little bit of Dutch courage cause for this conversation he definitely felt he could do with it.

Turning back Ed held out his hand and helped Clark to his feet, "Come on let's go and sit down somewhere more comfortable and I'll explain." Ed nodded towards the day room.

Following Clark into the other room, Ed sat on the edge of the chair across the coffee table opposite his son, his elbows on his knees the bottle of water gripped tightly in his hands, which had more to do with needing to hold something to stop them from shaking than anything else, his head bowed, trying once again for the second time today to think how to begin the conversation.

Clark watched his father's body language, the slight shake of his hands, the elevated breathing and how all of a sudden the carpet was the most fascinating thing in the world to him because he didn't actually know how to begin.

"Dad we don't ... you don't have to do this," Clark said offering his dad an out as he realised just what a struggle this was going to be for him.

Ed looked up and knew exactly what Clark was doing and gave him a small smile as an appreciation for the gesture, but he knew he wasn't going to back out, "No I can do this it's just hard to know where to start."

Returning the smile that made Clark look so much like Sophie, that Ed caught his breath, Clark's reply was simple, "Start from the beginning."

Huh if only it was that easy, Ed took a sip from the bottle of water placed down on the table then rubbed his hand over his face and pinched the bridge of his nose closing his eyes, letting his sniper breathing take over in an effort to steady his heart rate, at the same time letting his mind drift back to the two events in his life he had hoped to never relive, only then did he started to slowly recount that fateful day.

"It was about 2 weeks after I'd gone back to work, we had been serving a warrant but on the way back we passed an RTA and stopped to help," Ed paused, "Turns out it was a married couple hit by a drunk driver who jumped a red light, Greg suggested that I sat it out, but I told him I was fine I could do my job, that I couldn't let it get to me, so we did what we could till EMT's turned up and took over, then we headed back to the barn,"

Clark listen intently as Ed continued, "It wasn't till later when everyone had finished shift and gone home, I was standing in the locker room getting ready to leave myself and Winnie came in and told me the husband was gonna make it but the wife had died."

Ed looked off into the distance totally drawn back into the moment as he continued, "Then just like that I was back there, in the car with your mom, I hear her scream my name and turned to see the truck baring down on us and knew there was no way it was gonna miss us, I felt the impact and then nothing till I came too, there were people talking to me, asking questions and all I could think about was Sophie, there was broken glass everywhere, twisted metal, the smell of motor oil, burning rubber and..."

Ed paused trying to swallow the lump in his throat, his voice breaking as he continued, "And blood, there was so much blood, I tried to move but I was pinned in my seat, I remember calling out to your mom but she didn't answer, I managed to grab her hand and kept telling her we were going to be alright that we would get though it, that I would get her out, that I loved her more than anything in world, but she never got to hear it."

Hearing Clark gasp drew Ed instantly back into the present, "Oh God Clark I'm sorry I'll stop you shouldn't have to hear this, you shouldn't know the details of how in your mom's hour of need I failed to save her."

Clark got up off the sofa and went and crouched in front of his father, all the time vigorously shaking his head, his face drained of colour, "No dad you need to continue please, I need to know, I need closure, but more than that you need closure and it will help me understand how this situation between Sam and yourself came about."

Seeing the the determination on his son's face Ed continued his thoughts all over the place, his voice raw with some much pain, "I remember the First Responders finally getting me free but I was in and out of consciousness, I kept asking how your mom was doing, I begged them to tell me what was going on, that they needed to get to her first but no one would tell me anything, but I just knew she was slipping away from me and that I couldn't stop it."

Ed looked away wiping the tears from his eyes, "When I woke in the hospital and look over at you sitting in the chair, I knew she hadn't made it, that I'd never hear her voice, hear her laugh or hold her again. That I had lost the love of my life, and the mother of my child, that the chance to say goodbye had been ripped away from us way too soon, and in that instance my world had stopped."

Leaning back in the chair Ed let the heartache wash over him and placing his head in his hands he shook as he let the tears freely fall.

Clark moved and sat on the arm of the chair in silence, he was still a little surprised even now when his father opened cried in front of him and and unsure what to do apart from put his arms around Ed shoulders and hug him as tight as he could.

"And Sam." Clark tentatively asked.

Ed gave a light laugh, "He'd forgotten something and came back to the locker room, I'd tried to hold it together for so long I just crumbled, I had nothing left to give, I'd hit the bottom, and at some point I ended up sitting on the floor around the side of the lockers and that's where he found me."

"And?" Clark pressed.

"He sat next to me, put his arm around my shoulders but never said a word, and what was left of the dam just broke, but though all the grief I just knew that he understood, he knew exactly where I was and that it was okay for me not to be okay."

Ed lent forward and grabbed his bottle of water and took a large swig and waited for the cool liquid to soothe his parched throat before he continued, "How long we sat there like that I have no idea, it seemed like an entirety, but eventually Sam told me that we needed to leave before Team three got back and that he was driving me home and that in the morning we were going to have a proper chat. He ended up sleeping on the couch that night just to make sure I was okay."

Clark took a few minutes to digest everything Eddie had said to him, before he asked his next question, "And did you chat the next morning?"

"Yeah, yeah we did, that's how we started this just by Sam being there for me and by him making me talk about your mom, you, the accident and how I felt. Every time over this past eighteen months that I neared the edge he was there to pull me back, and over the chats, the going to the range we just became closer than one night a few months back we had gone for a drink and out of the blue while Sam was talking about his buddy Matt who died I realised I cared for him more than I should."