Mel returned back to her cabin from the hospital following Charmaine's unfortunate delivery of preterm twins and desperately wanted a glass of wine. Due to her own pregnancy, she withheld and grabbed a seltzer water instead which wasn't quite as satisfying after the emotionally and physically demanding day that she had had. She put on a new nightie that arrived as a gift from Joey once she revealed that her and Jack were going to try to be a couple. It's a beautiful silky short nightgown with matching lacy panties underneath. She figured Jack wouldnt arrive until she was already asleep, but perhaps he'd appreciate the sexy material when he got into the bed. She put on a robe and made herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich- one of the few things she tolerated eating these days.
She'd left the hospital with Jack and Charmaine tearful and embracing. Mel tried not to feel envy and disgust during the moments of the day when she'd seen Jack wipe Charmaine's brow, reassure her, rub her back during a contraction or kiss her cheek. He'd been the perfect supportive partner during the whole day and was now continuing that by remaining by her side until she was settled for the night. An irrational worry crossed her mind that this event would somehow make Jack's opinion about Charmaine change and love blossom for her- Even as she thinks it, she knows it sounds ridiculous but love makes you do crazy things!... And think crazier things. As she had left, she'd wanted to make sure Jack promised to come over tonight but it didn't feel like the right time in front of Charmaine. She didn't want him to be alone after losing his twins but also, she selfishly wanted a little bit of reassurance about their relationship.
While no longer having the babies as a physical tie between her boyfriend and his ex was a relief (she hated to admit), she also knew the sadness could be overwhelming for them both. She knew because she too had nearly drown in that same ocean of grief. Even with new life growing inside her, the events of the day and the stillbirth of her daughter years ago made her own sadness return and she found herself crying. Crying for her helplessness during the delivery, for Charmaine's loss of her chance to become a mother, for her own daughter who never breathed on this earth, for Jack who also has had plenty of loss in his life and for fearing that her pregnancy could end similarly.
Around 6pm, she has a knock on the door. Not expecting anyone, she wraps her robe around her tightly and opens the door a small amount. A weary and red eyed Jack stands in the door way.
"Hey. I wasn't expecting you til later" She says.
" they offered Charmaine a sedative and she was out so I figured I'd head back. I uh.. I meant to text but I was here before I actually did. I'm sorry if I startled you" He looks about the cabin somewhat awkwardly and runs his hands through his hair.
"Do you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" Mel offers as her own is still on the counter of her kitchen.
"you actually have food here?" He tries to sound lighthearted and tease like he would on a normal day.
"Pregnancy craving!" She shrugs, as if only to remind him that he is still an expectant father and she is the one carrying his baby.
"No… but…. thanks" Jack replies. His mind is in a million different directions and his emotions even more scattered. Seeing this confusion and hurt, Mel pulls him into her arms.
He nuzzles into her neck while his hands enter the robe. He finds the satin material with the lacy edging at the bottom. Jack's mouth engulfs her lips. His kiss is passionate, emotional and raw. The robe is quickly on the floor. His hands continue to roam, up they go under the nightie where he meets more lace. He moans from deep within his throat. "What is this??" He says sexily.
"Joey sent me a gift…. but I think it's more for you" Mel hesitantly flirts. Should she be flirting on a night like tonight? After a day like today?
"Remind me to thank her later" as Jack continues to kiss Mel deeply. He starts shedding layers of his clothing as he nudges her to the bed. Their kissing is full of heat and desire on both of their parts.
"Jack… are you sure this is what you need?"
Her question breaks his focus and his gaze holds steady on her eyes. "I selfishly need this. I just need to feel anything else tonight than what I'm feeling."
Mel understands that lusty emotion, the mind numbing free fall from making love with the one
you love. She feels the pull for connection with Jack too after such an awful day and naturally obliges to his urges willingly. ;-)
x-x-x-x-x-x
Jack rolls over onto his side and twirls a strand of Mel's hair around his finger. She looks satisfied. He smiles despite of himself. "Still happy and safe?"
"Yes I am" she smiles lovingly back.
His hand roams to her lower abdomen where it rests, "how are you? How's our little peanut?" Gosh he was already back to worrying about her! Always being so nurturing and protective of Mel, and now their tiny fetus.
"Oh I meant to show you!" She sits up which Jack hates as he was enjoying the warmth of their naked bodies under the blanket. Mel crosses the room to her purse. The sight makes Jack forgive her for getting up. Her hips with their slight sway as she walks away from him. His arousal stirring again which he tries to calm- it's not the time for that. He craves the emotional connection now.
Mel returns with an ultrasound photo. Their baby now looks more like a baby and less like a bean. "Dr. Stone pulled me aside and did a brief ultrasound. Happy, healthy heartbeat on little Peanut."
Jack pulls Mel close again and takes the photo, "12 weeks now and made it through a stressful day. Are you ready to at least tell Joey? I can tell my family?"
"I'm just not comfortable with it yet. Anything can still happen!" She hesitates but continues "Look at Charmaine and the twins. What if we dont get to a hospital in time"
"Mel, we cant live our life in fear of the 'what if's. It's time to take that leap of faith. I understand if you want to keep this quiet for a longer time. But I think it may help you to share with Joey. Eventually, you'll have to tell people!" He takes his hand and draws an imaginary mound where her belly will start protruding soon.
"I've been thinking about Dr. Stone's suggestion for a csection more. I have too much fear about having another stillbirth or not making it to Grace Valley Hospital in time that I think scheduling it is the right decision. I'm a candidate just with my history. But I'm a midwife! It's my specialty to birth babies! Does it make me a hypocrite?" She lays her head on his shoulder. The vulnerability causing her to not want to look him in the eyes. She feels shame about not trusting her body. Feels betrayed that her body couldn't bring her daughter into the world alive.
"Don't feel like that, Mel. your specialty is to bring healthy babies into the world in the safest way possible."
"I'm sorry I couldnt do that for you, Charmaine and your babies" She fights back a sob.
"You tried everything you could given the circumstances. It's okay, It's not your fault. It's no one's fault!" He says this but his emotions get the better of him as he spent the day between the women he cares most about in the world, each with their own struggles which he could do nothing about. A tear escapes his eye. Mel wipes it from his cheek.
Jack kisses Mel's forehead. "It's late. We are both exhausted. Let's try to get some rest. I promised Charmaine I would be back in the morning."
"I'll go with you. No one can empathize with her like
I'll be able to."