Trigger Warning, there are mentions of domestic abuse in this chapter.

Chapter 4, Feelings

Not for the first time, Sakura's phone buzzed within her wet black leather purse. The pink-haired doctor pointedly ignored the sound, not bothering to see who was calling her, knowing it was only Shikamaru. Her green eyes were downcast as she waited for her cellphone to die down. After all, it would likely buzz again soon.

The surgeon had been at it back-to-back since she had run away from the house. After she checked the Caller ID the first couple of times, she hadn't bothered looking at her phone again. Hearing all of his calls... She couldn't help but think about how persistent he had been about wanting to talk, how he hit her to make her comply with him. She laughed ruefully. Now, he wants to communicate. She wished he was as eager with talking to her before he met his mistress.

It would have saved them step of their physical altercation and maneuvering their current predicament. Sakura sighed when she finally heard her phone stop buzzing. Thank goodness. If he had been alone in their bed when she came home, she imagined an easier separation. Even while painful, it would have been cordial. They knew each other. They loved each other in their own ways, right? Now, she wasn't so sure how things would go from now on. The notion of dignity was out the window; she hated to think of Shikamaru actively trying to one over her. Or of him actively taking steps to hurt her. It wasn't like him to try anything. But she knew she couldn't ignore the possibility, not after tonight, at least. Sakura moved her long wet pink tresses over her shoulder and begun to absentmindedly wring her fingers at the ends.

I can't stay outside all night, she mused miserably while staring at the pools of water at her pruned bare feet. She watched as small ripples plopped within the puddles and considered again the events that happened a mere hour before. Despite the terror she experienced, she counted her blessings. She got away from Shikamaru. But now, she was at a loss of what she should do next. The twenty-seven-year-old woman had mentally gone back and forth of whether or not to call Itachi, or Sasuke and Naruto. But she knew that calling any of them would likely make the situation worse, in its own way. The joking-not-joking conversations of murder filtered to the front of her mind from earlier that day. She sighed while contemplating who were all in her contacts, knowing that calling any of her usual go-to's was out of the question. She needed to call someone who wasn't immediately in her friend group, someone who wouldn't press her with questions and who would give her space.

A singular name registered to the front of her head. Leaning over her phone to protect the device from the rain, Sakura pressed a familiar contact. "Sakura," he greeted respectfully as if her calling out of the blue well into the night wasn't odd in the slightest. "Hey buddy," she responded tiredly, even despite her efforts of trying to sound cheery.

"Something's wrong," he said instantly, not as a question, but with firm, calm certainty. Sakura didn't bother refuting him, "Yes, something happened." "Is that why you called?" She wiped the rain from her eyes and nodded, despite knowing that he couldn't see her. "Pretty much."

"How can I help?" Biting inside of her cheek, she momentarily wondered if this was the best course of action, but she didn't know what else to do. She thankfully had her purse and her phone. But she knew how she must look. And while she didn't give a damn about Shikamaru's reputation, she didn't want the rumor mill to go around about her as a victim either.

"I need to crash at your place for a couple of days." "Why aren't you at your place?"

"That's part of the problem…."

"Aa."

"Is that alright with you?" "So long as you're respectful of my home, I'm more than fine with it. I'm assuming you're coming over tonight?" Sakura licked her lips. They felt cold beneath her warm tongue. "That's the other part of it; I wanted to see if you could pick me up."

Without hesitation, he asked her, "What's the address?"

Sai was an old roommate of Sasuke's in college. The two bickered quite often, typically over small things. Consequently, they never become close. But she and Sai kept close tabs on one another once everyone graduated. They regularly met for coffee and simple platonic dinners, catching up. And while their meetings have become less frequent, it was always easy to fall back in rhythm with him when they did find the time to meet. He had always been a safe and relaxing person to be around. And it was for this reason that she was more than grateful to see his car pull up to the park's parking lot.

Once he parked his red vehicle, she apologized while entering his vehicle, soaking wet.

He handed Sakura a clean handkerchief and put on the heat for her. "You look roughed up," his voice, usually so matter a fact, was somewhat quiet. The pink-haired woman gratefully took his handkerchief and dabbed her face. Noticing his severe gaze and wanting to put him at ease, she forced a smile to curve her lips. "Ah, well. A few things happened. But I'm alright mostly." He looked as if he were waiting for her to continue. She nudged his shoulder with her good-natured closed fist, "You, on the other hand, look dashing as always." And this was truthful. Despite how low-key his outfit was, he looked model-esque with his loose-fitting white shirt and stylish black straight-leg trousers. Despite the humidity of the evening, his hair still laid perfectly straight on his head, and his skin was beautiful and practically glowing. He didn't bother thanking her for the compliment.

"You're trying to change the subject. Do you not wish to talk about what happened?" Sakura inhaled sharply once, then relented, "If you don't mind." "Not at all. I won't deny that I would absolutely like to know who is responsible for your injuries. However, if you prefer to hold on that conversation, I understand that too." At that moment, Sakura knew that calling Sai was the correct course of action. She couldn't handle prodding or questions. She just needed someone to support her.

And Sai, at that moment, was her someone.

As he drove the twenty-minute duration back to his flat, a small house on the fringe of the city, Sakura felt herself melt within his leather seats. She felt relaxed for the first time that evening.

The moment Sai opened the door to his home, she smelled the paints and varnishes and turpentine. It was so soothing and familiar; it reminded her of when she was in art club back in high school. Of which felt like a practical lifetime ago.

Now, the scent reminded her of Sai, the famed painter, and her socially awkward - but reliable - college friend.

Sai flicked the light switch on, and she looked around his living room and workspace with curious awe. Large canvases hung and leaned on various surfaces of the room and walls: breathtaking portraits and abstract works of art graced the room, each more stunning than the last. His eye for color and mix of textures and painting techniques was always astonishing.

Clearly, he had been busy since she last came. She didn't see any familiar work.

"You'll likely want to take a shower soon, so you don't catch a cold," he suggested, bringing her out of her fascinated daze over his creations. Sakura looked over her shoulder to see him staring at her intently. "You're right." "You'll need a change of clothes," he said with realization, "I'll grab a pair of shorts and a shirt. I'm sure I have something that can fit you." She smiled at him as she toed off her shoes and followed him further into his home. "Your work is always so stunning. It makes me want to sink into whatever world your paintings derive from." "They're okay. Better than last years, I suppose."

She smirked, "So humble." He shrugged, clearly meaning what he said and not being humble at all.

In this way, Sai did tend to remind her of Sasuke. While Sai had his painting, Sasuke had his writing.

Both were perfectionists in their craft and never seemed satisfied with their work, and both were insanely beautiful. She briefly wondered if the reason Sai and Sasuke hated each other so much was because they were so similar. Though, she quickly dismissed this consideration. She didn't have the energy to decipher her own relationships, let alone others, at that moment.

The two twenty-somethings walked to Sai's bedroom at a leisurely pace. Entering his room, Sakura realized it was a stale space. It contained a simple bed upon an unimpressive platform frame and a tall pine wood dresser on the opposite end. Unlike the rest of his home, there was no art. No... Anything.

It was functional at best, drab at worst. Even the walls and sheets were white. But it was more than Sakura had. So, at the moment, it looked cozy. Her attention was suddenly pulled to Sai as he squat at his dresser. The renowned artist opened the lowest drawer of his dresser and sorted through the folded clothes. He pulled out a small faded grey top within a few short moments and a paint-splattered pair of shorts. Clearly, these were clothes from his childhood that he, for whatever reason, kept. It suited her just fine; they looked like they would fit her. "There are towels in the bathroom," he said frankly, eyeing her again, this time with evident concern. She gave a stark nod and pivoted on her foot once the clothes were in her hands; she knew the way to the bathroom from when she occasionally visited his home.

She tried, though failed, to ignore the way his eyes followed her when she left.

Sakura's feet padded against white tile until she was at the closed wooden door of the bathroom. Opening the door and turning on the light, she placed the clothes on the sink and finally looked at herself in the mirror. Then, she grimaced. The pediatrician looked more than worse for wear. Her cheek was angry and red, and it looked like she had also busted her lip from the impact of Shikamaru's hand. Her arm was also sprouting a large dark purple and blue bruise. She slowly turned around to look at her back. She hadn't realized that when Shikamaru had grabbed her, his nails had dug into her back. Her adrenaline must have shielded her from the pain. Looking at the broken skin in addition to the torn shirt, Shikamaru must have been truly desperate for her not to leave.

She was glad that she called Sai and that he was willing to help her. If any of her friends had seen her, she doubted the surgeon would have lasted the night without being skinned alive. Peeling her black crop top off her, she leaned in the mirror for a better look. The scratch marks weren't too deep; they were more surface-level than anything. But they did look rather stark; the red finger-length scratches were angry against her pale back and looked painful, even if they were shallow.

She sighed while turning her away from her grotesque appearance and took off her bra and then her white shorts and underwear. It felt strange considering Shikamaru rarely ever raised his voice at her throughout their platonic and romantic relationship. To have him physically hurt her felt absurd. The word "abuse" darkly ebbed into the

forefront of her mind.

Sakura abruptly shook her head; she couldn't think about him. He had taken up enough of her mental space the last four days. At this moment, she was focusing on herself.

Taking a step into the shower, she closed her eyes, feeling the water embrace her in a way the rain didn't. Turning her back to the showerhead, Sakura bit her lip as the water burned the wound on her back. But it just as quickly simmered into a slight ache, and she felt then herself relax within the water with closed eyes.

With a towel around her shoulders and her wet clothes in her hand, she stepped out of the bathroom to see Sai leaning against the wall in the hallway. A first aid kit was in his hands, and his eyes were downcast. Upon seeing the bathroom door open, they flickered to her. She smiled warily. "I saw your back earlier. Do you need assistance?" Licking her lips, she smiled sheepishly. "If you don't mind."

His hand was outstretched to her, "I'll throw your clothes in the wash, then let's meet in the living room." Sakura handed him her clothes and took the first aid kit. It wasn't long before they were in the living room. Sitting on the white rug underneath the couch, Sakura looped her arms through her shirt and pulled the fabric over her shoulders, still covering her chest. Sai sat on the sofa with his legs on either side of her body. Moving her long pink hair aside, he used an ointment from the first aid kit and began to slather it on the finger marks that trailed her back.

She stiffened when he initially touched her but did not make a sound as he worked. Once he was done, he placed a bandage on her back and pulled her shirt back down for her. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. "Thank you for being my friend, Sai."

He nodded, "Of course, Sakura. I wish you just told me what happened. I think we should call the cops, at least. If nothing else, for documentation purposes."

Sakura thought about that and realized that was a wise course of action. She hadn't even considered calling the cops. Her focus had only been on getting away from Shikamaru and getting out of the rain. "You're right. I'll go to the police tomorrow." With that, he nodded and moved into a standing position. "Do you need something to eat?" She paused in thought. The last meal she had was that morning with Itachi. Food sounded wonderful. But… "I'm actually pretty exhausted. Do you mind if we eat in the morning?" "Not at all."

"My guest room isn't that nice. However, the bedding has been washed recently, and you'll have some privacy." She followed him to a room she had never been in. When he opened the door, it had a stale air emitting from it. Turning on the lights, she realized why. The room was filled with familiar paintings from years past. Clearly, the space was more of storage for old works of art rather than for guests. Though, considering Sai's introverted personality, she doubted he had visitors all that often. She wondered if he washed sheets regularly just out of habit.

It may have been a minor miracle that he had a bed in the guest room at all.

"I left your purse on the kitchen table. And if you change your mind about eating anything, the kitchen is yours to explore."

She kissed his cheek in thanks and then walked inside the room to sit on the edge of the bed. "I have time in the afternoon to go to the police station with you. If it's alright with you, let's go sometime around 1pm after my first meeting." She nodded.

"I'm grateful you're here supporting me." A smile did not appear, only a worried furrowed brow. "Friends support one another," he said plainly.

"Friends do," Sakura agreed. With eyes that flickered to her marked face and then to her bruised arm, he said, "If you need anything, just get me. I'm a light sleeper." "I'll keep that in mind." He nodded once, and with that, he closed the door behind her.

With her injuries dressed, her body dry, and the bed warm, it didn't take her long to fall asleep. It was with deep satisfaction that she felt herself melt into the bedspread, aware that she would likely have a dreamless sleep.

Thank goodness.

As usual on days she didn't work, Sakura awoke earlier than she intended to.

Staring at her clock, it was only 7am. She groaned while moving to her side, suddenly flinching at the action. Even in the dim light of the early morning, she could see that the bruise on her arm had intensified overnight. She sat upright and gingerly brushed fingers against her cheek. Again, she felt herself wither inside. The pain electrified her. She muffled a groan as she immediately pulled her hand back. She didn't need a mirror to know she likely looked significantly worse than the previous night.

Easing out of bed, not quite sure where to go but knowing a glass of water wouldn't hurt, she padded down the hall. She reached the kitchen to see Ino

, surprisingly there, wearing a pink maxi dressed and her long hair in a beautiful top bun, with folded arms and wide eyes.

"I-Ino?" she questioned aloud, confused and maybe a little alarmed to see her in the flesh within Sai's kitchen. She didn't even know that she knew where he lived.

"H-He wasn't kidding," Ino breathed, her eyes wide and her hands moving forward as if reaching for her. Sai was leaning against the counter, not sensing the gravity of their reunion. "You're awake," he said simply, sipping on a cup of what appeared to be tea and a nod of greeting.

"What is Ino doing here?" She asked him, not bothering with morning pleasantries. "When Shikamaru said you weren't at home and no one else knew where you were, I knew Sai would know," she offered in his stead. "Why aren't you at the celebration?" Sakura blurted. It was the last day of the wedding festivities. Ino and Sakura had planned for a lavish brunch for everyone, with a relaxing afternoon of boating. Who was handling the entertainment with the both of them in Konoha?

"Forehead, I wasn't going to let you deal with that idiot alone. Besides, Tenten and Hinata took over once they knew I had to leave too. Don't worry, by the way, I didn't tell them anything about why you had to leave early." Ino allowed her reaching hands to fall to her sides limply. "And look at w-what he's done to y-"

She didn't finish.

Sakura felt surprised to see the blonde's eyes whelm with uncharacteristic tears. Seeing Ino, who was always so fearless and strong, suddenly be brought to tears made her feel emotional too, purely out of self-pity. She probably looked wretched. She knew she certainly felt awful enough.

"It looks worse than what it is," Sakura offered Ino as she told Sai the previous night, suddenly looking down at her feet. She forced herself to take controlled breaths in, repelling her desire to cry with each breath out.

"Sakura, why didn't you call me?"

She opened her mouth, meaning to explain herself, to just as quickly close it. What could she say? Maybe part of the reason was that she knew how upset they would be at Shikamaru, and the thought exhausted her. Perhaps part of the reason was that she felt ashamed. She was, in many ways, now a victim. It hurt her pride for other people to see how low she had fallen by the hand of someone they all loved and trusted.

Maybe she wasn't thinking last night.

To be honest, she still couldn't think. She hadn't fully come to terms with her dire situation, despite the aches in her body, that reminded her with every slight movement, of what happened.

Feeling her hands curl into anxious fists at her sides, fingernails digging into her palm, Sakura landed on, "I don't know." Ino slowly walked to her, her gold bangles clacking loudly upon her delicate wrists, and gingerly hugged the slightly shorter woman. Sakura melted into her embrace, feeling a form of tenseness she didn't realize she had eased away within her friend's arms.

"I know this is a difficult time. But I want you to know that I'm here for you. I know that I'm naturally overwhelming and pushy, but I can also be what you need. And if that's silently supporting you or offering you a place to stay last minute, I can do that. I can be what you need because that's what friends do." Sakura felt her lower lip tremble and nodded into Ino's shoulder.

Ino held her until Sakura was the first to take a step back, then grabbed her hand to lead her into the living room. Sai followed the women with his steaming mug of tea in his hand. "Now, Sai didn't tell me much. But from the little Shikamaru said, I knew you didn't have much when you left the house." Hearing that she talked to Shikamaru made Sakura curious and nauseous. She wanted to know what he said or didn't say. But kept her mouth shut—thoughts of his back-to-back calls filtered to the front of her mind.

She dreaded looking at her phone. Of which, she wondered briefly, if it was even working anymore. It had spent a long time in the rain. And while her purse protected it mainly from the water, she knew damage wasn't unreasonable to be concerned about from the little exposure it did have to the rain.

Ino pulled her from her thoughts as she pulled a large tote onto the leather couch. "You're a little smaller than me, but I brought some clothes that I know you might like." Sakura sighed in relief when she saw a pair of sandals peeking out of the bag. She desperately needed shoes.

Sai abruptly cleared his throat, and both women turned to look at him, "I'm sorry to interrupt, ladies. I just wanted to let you know I have a meeting I have to attend soon, so I have to get ready. Sakura, I can take you to the police station after if you're still up to it."

Ino walked to the painter and put a reassuring hand on his chest, "Thanks for being awesome. But, I'll take it from here, cowboy."

Sai furrowed his brow, looking as if he had a question; Sakura assumed it was from Ino using the word "cowboy." Then, he seemed to decide against it, and resolved to Ino's request.

"There's an extra house key on the table. Sakura, you may use it. Text if either of you needs me."

And then he was gone, retreating to his room to make himself presentable for whatever meeting he likely had.

Taking his absence as a sign to get to business, Ino sat upon the couch and patted the seat beside her. Sakura obliged. "Now, I have a few dresses that I know you won't hate and a tracksuit, which might not quite be up your alley, but is casual. If you'd like, I can go to your house and pick up your clothes later today. But we can at least have you looking presentable before then."

Her house…

"Ino," Sakura began hesitantly. "Hm?" "What did Shikamaru say when you talked to him?" The blonde's hand paused over the bag of clothes and then landed on her lap. "He said there was a misunderstanding and that you stormed off before he could explain himself." "Did he tell you what the situation was?" Ino shook her head. "He said that it was best he didn't tell me. Which I thought was ridiculously suspicious. Even more so when he didn't seem to know where you ran off to." Sakura bit inside of her cheek.

She felt Ino's large blue eyes stare at her. Sakura suddenly wished she could hide under a rock. "I called around, seeing if you were crashing at anyone's place that was in town. No one knew where you were, including Itachi, which was odd. It's not like you to disappear from the face of the Earth." Ino's voice trailed off when she continued, "I thought of Sai only because you mentioned him off-handedly a handful of nights ago." She sighed, then laughed a little when her eyes focused again on her. "I found his contact buried in my phone. I'm not joking when I say that I likely saved it sometime during college. Can you believe it?"

"When I asked Sai about you, he said you were here. And that…"

She didn't need to finish. Sakura knew what she was going to say. He told her that she was hurt. And that she wouldn't tell her who did it. And that she couldn't go home.

It wasn't rocket science to connect the dots.

"Sakura, why didn't you call me?" It was the same question she asked earlier, but this time there was a sense of frustration. Not at her, but at their situation, Sakura was sure.

The pink-haired doctor knew she should get used to the question. Her other friends would ask her. Maybe her parents too. How many people would ask her why she didn't do one thing or did she do another.

Sakura licked her lips and remembered why she had walked to the kitchen in the first place. Her throat felt parched, but she couldn't find it in her to walk away from Ino quite yet. She looked down at her bare toes, taking in the chipped paint on her nails and then staring at her pale legs.

"Sakura?"

"I don't know. I felt…" Embarrassed. Confused. Ashamed. Horrified. "Overwhelmed," Sakura settled on. Ino grabbed her hand. Sakura focused on the jewelry Ino wore, the gold bangles and the gorgeous diamond rings, and the warmth of her palm upon her own. It made her think of her mother and grandmother. The sheer strength in Ino's hand was reassuring. She felt safe. "I know that Shikamaru and I have been close since we were practical babies, but you're my girl."

The blonde gently squeezed Sakura's hand affectionately, "And us girls, we have to stick together."