I Hope this chapter finds you well. It tugged on my heart strings as I wrote it (in a good way). So I hope you enjoy! Lot's more to come. Some serious highs and some serious lows. But all in the name of BENSLER :) Also incase anyone was wondering...no, I'm not okay after the crossover. I have so many conflicting feelings. Ugh. So with that...we'll dive back into my AU Bensler Universe.
1 Month Later…
Olivia Benson woke up on this cold February morning like any other day. It was Friday. The Friday before February vacation for the kids but they would not be attending school today for a very important reason. Today was a special day. They didn't know everything that was in store for them though . After their morning, Elliot and Olivia were surprising them with a trip, their first family vacation.
As a celebration…
A slow but sure smile spread on her face as the realization of what today meant washed over her. Today, she was officially adopting Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie and Richie. They had their ceremony early this morning and then, they would forever be her children. She stretched her arms over her head and sighed happily, unable to keep the smile away. When she turned, she wasn't surprised to see Elliot was wide awake and staring at her with a smile of his own.
"Good morning." She whispered, turning to look at him.
Moving his hand towards her, he pushed her hair out of her face, "Good morning."
Her legs were restless and she saw him start to laugh, "What?"
He shook his head and pulled her closer to him, "You're adorable."
She fidgeted again and squirmed in his embrace, "I am not."
"You are." He said, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "You can't sit still." He smiled against her head and whispered, "Any reason for all this energy?"
Her face flushed and she peeked up at him from under her long lashes, "I'm officially becoming a Mom today."
Elliot let out a content sigh and smiled even brighter, his voice was low and full of love and emotion when he spoke, "Yeah...you are."
Biting her lip, she wiggled some more, "Think the kids are excited too?"
Elliot opened his mouth to respond but before he could, the door burst open and Richie screamed into the room, "It's adoption day! It's adoption day! Wake up people! It's adoption day!" Before they could respond, he tumbled forward and crashed onto the floor. Elliot and Olivia quickly jumped up to check on him but he sprung up off the floor and said, "I'm good. I'm okay." He paused and then his face split into a grin again, "It's adoption day!"
He turned again and ran down the hall continuing to chant leaving Olivia and Elliot in their bed laughing. Wrapping his arm around Olivia, he whispered into her ear, "Yeah...I think they're just as excited." When she turned to him he kissed her softly, "And so am I."
Walking into the courthouse, Olivia was struck by how different it felt. How often had she walked into a courtroom in her career as an officer? It had become second nature to her. She knew the process like the back of her hand. Could go through the motions with her eyes closed. But today...she wasn't walking in as an officer of the law. She wasn't here to support a victim. Wasn't here to give testimony in a case. She wasn't here for work at all.
Today she was here as a woman who was committing to raising, to loving, to caring for four children. Four children who had stolen her heart years ago. Four children that chose her, loved her, trusted her and wanted her as their Mother. How long had she felt alone? How long had she told herself that she would never have a family, never be a Mother? How long had she believed that this life, this chance was so far out of her reach?
And yet...here she was. One step closer to that forever. The life she had always dreamed of.
She stumbled for a moment, overcome with emotion. Overwhelmed with love and happiness. Elliot and the kids all turned to look at her, watching her carefully. Her heart ached as she looked at them. This man and his children were choosing her. Had chosen her. It didn't feel humanly possible to be this happy. This grateful. This sure of anything.
Maureen reached for Olivia's hand, able to read her mind just as her Father always had, "Mom? You okay?"
Olivia placed a hand to her belly, reminding herself to breathe when she heard her call her Mom, "I'm…" She smiled and shook her head, "I'm more than okay. Just...taking it all in."
Maureen smiled, looped her arm through Olivia's and tugged her closer, "Come on. We don't want to be late."
Together, the six of them walked into the main courtroom and Elliot and Olivia were stunned to see their friends waiting. Cragen, Alex, Fin and Munch stood alongside Bernie in the aisle. Richie ran over to them and hugged his Grandma, "Everyone's here!"
"We weren't missing this little man." John said looking down at Elliot's son. "This is big!"
Olivia leaned forward and hugged Alex, "This is a surprise."
Alex squeezed her back, "Like John said...we weren't missing this."
"Is The Stabler Family and Ms. Benson present?" A clerk asked from behind them.
Olivia looked at Elliot and he responded for them, "We are."
The Clerk smiled and held her arm out to the front of the room, "You may come sit. The Judge will be here soon."
Lizzie looked up at Olivia, "Is it time?"
Smiling, Olivia lifted Lizzie into her arms, "It's time sweetie. You ready?"
Lizzie beamed at her and nodded her head admently, "Yes!"
Together they walked to the front of the room and settled themselves at the table presented for them. Lizzie settled herself in Olivia's lap and Elliot had Richie in his. Maureen and Kathleen settled between the two of them and they waited. Reaching an arm around the girls, Elliot's fingers settled against Olivia's shoulder. Turning her head towards him, she smiled. The way he was staring at her set her heart on fire and she wanted to tell him how much he loved him. But the way he was looking at her, she knew he understood and felt the same way.
When Olivia turned back to whisper something to Lizzie, Elliot was unable to keep his eyes off of her. As a single Father of four, he had never imagined finding someone who would want to take on his baggage. Not that he considered his children baggage...but he knew it was a lot for any woman to wrap their head around. But Olivia, his Olivia had never taken pause, never considered his children as a nuisance. She had put them first. She had been the woman to help feed them, help keep them entertained, safe, healthy and protected. She had been there every day since Kathy had left. Never needed to be asked. Never hesitated. Showed up when she was needed most without even knowing for sure what was happening. She never let them down. She loved them in a way that still shocked him to his core sometimes. She loved them as a Mother should love their children. Unconditionally. And for that, and so many more reasons, he vowed to spend the rest of his life loving her in the same way.
When the Judge appeared, everyone stood and listened to the introduction. Settling back down in their seats, Lizzie curled herself around Olivia and she held her close.
"As the judge presiding over this adoption...I've been able to read many statements on behalf of Ms. Benson. From what I have read, it is clear Ms. Benson loves these children unconditionally. She has been a stable and constant figure in their life for over four years now. She has helped care for them during her own free time. Helped support their Father even before their personal relationship started. Is there anyone here who disagrees or has objections to this adoption today?" No one spoke and she continued, "I have also read the findings of the home study as well as the testimonies of the children as well as their Father and the approval and waiving of rights by the birth mother...I find no objection to the request at hand." She smiled down at the children, "Are you excited to be here today?"
The kids looked back at Elliot and Olivia who smiled at them, letting them know it was okay to speak. Maureen spoke up for her siblings, "Yes. We are." She paused for a moment and then her face flushed, "Judge...your honor? I'm...I'm not sure what to call you. I'm sorry!"
Elliot smiled and rubbed her back, "Relax honey…it's okay."
The Judge smiled at her, "You may refer to me as Judge Swanson. I'm happy to meet you. I'm going to ask the four of you some questions, is that okay?" The four of them nodded, "All you have to do is answer yes or no." The kids sat up a little straighter and waited to be spoken to again, "Is it your wish that Olivia Benson, legally becomes your Mother?"
All four children nodded and answered together, "Yes."
"And do you understand that as your Mother, she will legally be responsible for your well being and care?" She asked.
Again, they answered together, "Yes."
Judge Swanson smiled and turned to Elliot, "Mr. Stabler." He sat up a little straighter and held onto Richie, "As the biological Father to these four children, is it your wish that Ms. Benson legally adopt Maureen, Kathleen, Richard and Elizabeth as her own?"
His fingers lightly traced the back of Olivia's neck, "Yes."
"Do you understand that this means she will share responsibility for the care, decisions and upbringing of your children?" She asked.
"Yes." He said without hesitation knowing he wanted it with his whole heart.
"Do you understand that in the event that something were to happen to you, Ms. Benson would be their guardian and sole provider. Are you confident in her ability and desire to act as your children's Mother?" She asked.
Getting choked up he squeezed Olivia's shoulder, "Yes. Absolutely."
"Okay." She turned her attention to Olivia and offered a genuine smile, "Ms. Benson. Your turn. Are you ready?"
The kids looked up at Olivia, all four of them looked excited but anxious. She could tell even now, part of them was worried. Worried that she would change her mind, abandon them the way Kathy had. Worried that she didn't love them the way they loved her. Staring at them now, just before this life changing moment for all of them she knew for certain that as their Mother, she would spend her life making sure they felt the love she had for them. Every single day.
Offering them a smile and a wink, she turned to the judge and spoke clearly and confidently, "I'm ready."
"Ms. Benson, today you have come here of your own free will with the intention to legally become the Mother to Maureen, Kathleen, Richard and Elizabeth Stabler. Is this still your wish?" She asked.
Lizzie curled further into Olivia and a number of emotions rushed through her. She could feel her heart pounding and tears prickling in her eyes as she spoke. "Yes."
"Ms. Benson, the decision to become a parent is not one that someone should take lightly. These four children need a parent who has no doubts about her feelings for them. Have you taken the time to consider the enormity of this decision? Not just for you, but for the children as well?" She asked.
Olivia nodded slowly but surely, "Yes your honor. I have. And I do understand."
"Will you, to the best of your ability, care for, protect, nurture, support and love these four children as if they were biologically yours?" She asked.
"I will." She said squeezing Lizzie as Maureen leaned into her.
"Do you promise to make decisions with their best interest at heart along with their father? To put them first always? To never abandon these responsibilities and raise them as your own for the remainder of your natural life? And do you promise to look after them still should you need to act as their sole guardian. No matter what?" She asked.
"Yes." She said confidently, feeling no hesitation at all.
"Well…" She looked down at the forms in front of her, grabbed a pen and began to sign her name on a line, "It is with great pleasure that I may announce this adoption legally binding and finalized by the State of New York. Congratulations Ms. Benson. You are the Mother of four beautiful children. May you love one another and cherish this family that you have created from today and for the rest of your lives."
The tears streamed down Olivia's face and she didn't have to turn to know that Elliot and the children were also crying too. Richie looked over at Olivia, "So...it's official?"
Olivia laughed and wiped her tears away, before leaning forward to touch his cheek, "It's official baby. You're stuck with me forever now."
Launching himself out of his Dad's arms he landed on top of his twin sister and Olivia causing everyone to laugh. The six of them held each other close as behind them their friends and family clapped and took pictures. Elliot pulled Olivia up out of her chair as the kids celebrated around them. He cradled her face in his hands and kissed her three times quickly, "I love you. So much."
The kids continued to run around them and she smiled up at him, "I love you. Thank you for giving me this family El. I can't believe this is really my life."
Elliot smiled at her and pulled her left hand up to his, kissing the palm of her hand, "One step down. One to go."
"June 10th." She said softly as he held her hand against his chest, "Still want to be my husband?"
"You better believe it." He said leaning into her again, "I can't wait."
When they went to kiss again, Richie tugged on their arms, "Dad! Mom! Come on! We have to go celebrate!"
"Should we tell them?" Olivai asked, looking up at her fiance hopefully.
Elliot nodded, "I think so…" He looked at his Mom, "Mom, can you take a picture of us all? I want to remember this moment."
Bernie beamed proudly at them, "Of course. Get together."
Olivia picked up Richie this time and Elliot took Lizzie in his arms as the girls gathered around them. The smiles on their faces were blinding as Bernie said, "Okay. Say...family!"
"Family!" The six of them shouted together.
Elliot smirked at Olivia, "Now say...we're going to Disney World!"
"We're going to-" The kids paused and looked up at their parents in shock, "What?!"
Elliot chuckled at their reaction, "I said...say, we're going to Disney World."
Richie squirmed in Olivia's arms, "We are?"
"We are." Olivia said nuzzling him close, "What do you think about that little man?"
"I think this is the BEST. DAY. EVER!" Richie yelled into her ear.
That night, Fin pulled up in front of the JFK airport with the Stabler family in tow. Helping Elliot, they took the bags out of the car as Olivia tried to keep the twins from running into the road from excitement.
"How long will it take to get there?" Lizzie asked Olivia, tugging on her hand. "Is it a long flight?"
Olivia knew that the twins were anxious because they had never been on a plane before, "It's about 2 and a half hours honey."
"And...and you and Daddy will be with us the whole time?" She asked nervously.
"The whole time. You're going to sit with us. Kathleen and Maureen will be beside us. I promise everything will be okay." She said, giving her a wink.
"How come you guys decided to surprise us with this?" Kathleen asked, "Not that I'm complaining…"
Olivia laughed and reached for Richie as he moved around the sidewalk quickly, "Because...we wanted the six of us to take a little trip. Our first official family trip. You're on vacation and it felt like the best time."
Elliot huffed as he set the luggage beside him, "As much as I love you guys...we have entirely too much crap."
Olivia laughed and reached for one of the bags, "There are six of us El...we'll never travel lightly."
He smirked and leaned closer to her and gave her a quick kiss followed by a wink, "God help us when we have more."
She chuckled and pushed him away, "Okay. We need to go so we can get checked in." She turned to Fin and smiled, "Thanks for driving us."
Fin gave her a little playful salute, "You got it. Munch will pick you guys up next Sunday. Call if you need us to do anything around the house."
"Thank you. Be safe at work." She said giving him a quick hug, "And thank you for being there today. It meant a lot."
He hugged her back and when they pulled apart he smiled, "Wouldn't have missed it. Congratulations Momma."
She beamed at him and then watched as Elliot said goodbye. Fin got in the car and drove away leaving the family to gather their bags. Elliot gave instructions to all of them to ensure they stayed close. Then they walked into the airport, checked in and waited for their flight to be called. When they boarded the plane, Olivia sat with the twins while Elliot ensured the girls were settled in beside them across the aisle. Then he sat in his aisle seat with the twins between them and Olivia in the window seat.
Richie was talking animatedly to Olivia, more excited about the trip then the flight. But Lizzie was bouncing in her seat glancing around the interior of the plane. Elliot smiled and put his arm around her. "Take a deep breath baby. Everything is going to be okay."
Looking up at her Dad, her lip trembled, "I'm scared."
"I know." He said, giving her a little nod, "But I'm right here. You can hold my hand the whole time. And Richie's right on the other side of you."
"And Mommy." She whispered, a little smile on her face, remembering for the first time how happy she was despite her anxiety.
Elliot beamed down at her and leaned forward to kiss her nose, "And your Mommy."
When he looked up, Olivia was smiling at him having heard the exchange. As the pilot spoke to the passengers, Elliot eased Lizzie's anxiety as best he could. Within an hour, the flight was in full swing and Richie and Lizzie had fallen asleep. It was past their bedtime and the excitement of the day had overtaken them. Glancing over at the girls, he saw that they were both still awake and watching a movie on the screen in front of them. Turning his head, he saw Richie leaning against Olivia who had one arm around him and was rubbing slow circles against his arm. He smiled at the sight and caught her reflection in the window. She smiled and turned back to him, "You okay?" She asked.
Elliot sighed and reached around Lizzie to touch her arm, "I'm great. Just...thinking about everything that happened today."
Olivia smiled and looked down at Richie who snuggled further into her, "It was definitely a day to remember."
Elliot swallowed hard, looked down at the twins and frowned, "They were so little...just months old when Kathy left. I remember wondering what they would think...how they would feel. Was it better that they didn't remember her? Or was it worse? They didn't know any different...but they always saw their friends with their Mothers. Lizzie asked more questions...Richie was more quiet about it. But today…" His voice cracked and he looked back at her, the tears bright in his eyes and he made no move to try and brush them away, "Today they got their Mother...the one they've been waiting for their entire lives." Shaking his head, "Olivia...I will never be able to thank you for what you have done for them. What you have given them...given me. You make them so happy. You make me so happy...and today in that courtroom I just kept thinking, how is she even real? But you are real...you're very real. And this life...is beyond anything I ever thought I'd have. I love you. And I promise...I will spend the rest of my life making sure I deserve you."
"Well damn…" She whispered to him, blinking back tears, "Maybe we should have just had a courtroom wedding today."
Elliot smiled at her, "June 10th...not so far away. We're already a family Liv. It's okay."
Sighing happily she looked down at the kids and smiled at them, "I have a family..."
Elliot couldn't take his eyes off of her as she watched the kids. Richie's sleepy voice caught his attention though and he looked down as the young boy said, "Mommy."
Olivia pressed a kiss to his head and smoothed back his hair, "Yeah baby?"
Richie snuggled closer to her and whispered, "Just like saying Mommy…" He yawned and smiled, his eyes still closed. "I have a Mommy now."
Elliot watched the way that Olivia's face flushed as she kissed him again and whispered. "You do. And I have a son. I love you buddy. Go back to sleep."
Richie mumbled a quick I love you back before drifting off to sleep. Reaching over the twins, Elliot clasped his hand with hers and squeezed. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her smiling at him and knew their adventure was just getting started.
The following day, they wasted no time hitting the parks. The kids were beyond excited, never having been to Disney World before. Even as adults, Olivia and Elliot couldn't help but get swept up in the magic of it all too. The energy from the kids was contagious. Olivia was currently standing with the girls as they watched Elliot and Richie ride one of the roller coasters for the fourth time in a row. The girls had given up after the second ride and Olivia had gone to stand with them.
The four of them stood laughing as Richie screamed at the top of his lungs passing over them, "Poor Dad…" Maureen whispered, "He looks dizzy."
Olivia laughed and squeezed her shoulder. "I think this may be the last ride for a bit. Maybe we will catch a show or walk around so he can recover."
When the boys finally joined them, Richie was still a ball of energy. Elliot however was dragging behind him. Olivia knelt down in front of Richie who was already asking to go again, "Buddy I think maybe we will take a break. But if you want to go again later...I'll go with you. Okay?"
Richie pouted for only a minute and then got distracted by Mickey walking by, "Okay! Can we go meet Mickey?"
Olivia smiled at him, "Sure. Go ahead with your sisters. Stay where we can see you." Richie took off and took Maureen's hand excitedly. Turning to Elliot, Olivia handed him his sunglasses and smiled sympathetically, "You okay there babe?"
Elliot groaned, "That was worse than driving in a fast speed chase with Munch at the wheel."
She chuckled and leaned up to kiss his cheek, "You're a hell of a Dad Stabler. Let's go get you some water and into the shade. We'll take it easy for a bit."
He grumbled and took her hand, falling into step beside her. They walked hand in hand towards the kids who were talking a mile a minute to Mickey and Minnie. Lizzie turned when she saw her parents and smiled, "And this is our Dad." She tugged Olivia closer, "And! This is our Mom! She's our Mom. She's my Mom!"
The pride in Lizzie's voice melted Olivia's heart and she knelt down beside the young girl, "Hello Mickey. Nice to meet you."
The kids laughed as the characters interacted without speaking. For the next ten minutes, Richie and Lizzie dragged Olivia from character to character, wanting to introduce their Mom to anyone and everyone. Richie was explaining the adoption to Goofy and both Elliot and Olivia were laughing as his hands moved a mile a minute. The excitement rolling off of him in waves. Just as they were about to walk away again a park official walked over to them.
"Excuse me?" The woman asked politely.
Elliot turned and smiled, "Hello."
The woman smiled and held out her hand, "I'm Riley Black. I work here at the park. I'm sorry to interrupt your day but a special friend of mine informed me that you are all celebrating something while you are here."
Kathleen leaned against her Dad, "Our adoption!"
The woman smiled, "Mickey told me all about it! You must be very excited!"
"We are! We are!" Richie said hopping up and down, "Do you have a Mom? I didn't have a Mom ever before! But now I do!"
The woman chuckled and nodded, "I do! And she's the best. I bet your Mom is too." She looked at Olivia and Elliot and held out a folder, "On behalf of the Magic Kingdom we would like to treat you to dinner tonight. All expenses paid. Congratulations!"
Elliot looked down at the papers in his hand, "Seriously?"
"Yes." She answered, "Something as exciting as this deserves an extra special celebration. Dinner in the castle in your own private dining room. Would 7 o'clock work? You will be able to stay and watch the firework show from there as well."
Elliot looked over at Olivia, "What do you think?"
Olivia smiled as Richie and Lizzie jumped up and down beside her, "I say, how can we turn that down?"
Elliot turned back to Riley, a huge smile plastered on his face, "Wow. Thank you! You're sure?"
"Yes." She said with a nod, "Everything you need is in the folder. I'll see you all at 7! I hope you have a Magical Day!"
When she walked away, Elliot turned again to Olivia, "Why do I feel like we are getting scammed?"
Olivia laughed and put a hand on his arm, "Because your cop instincts are always on high alert. But I think we're good. Relax. Put Detective Stabler on the back burner this week. Just be Dad…"
Elliot sighed, leaned in and kissed her, "Okay. Mom."
She kissed him again and then turned back to the kids, "Okay! Well...it's still early. I say we explore a bit more. Grab lunch and then maybe head back early afternoon to the hotel? We should probably rest a bit. I think it will be a late night."
Richie launched himself at his Dad, "Daddy, can we move here?"
Elliot held him close and shook his head, "Sorry buddy but no. I am glad we're here though."
They had spent a few hours lounging around the hotel suite. The twins napped thankfully, and by 6:50, they were back in the park and ready to go to dinner. Upon entering the castle, they were greeted by a cast of characters and presented with their room and table for dinner. The kids could barely contain their excitement, and although it was all a little over the top for Elliot and Olivia, they were more than happy to be there with the kids. After a meal of everything they could have dreamed of, they were brought to the best spot for viewing the fireworks. Richie was up on Elliot's shoulders. Lizzie was on Maureen's back and Olivia was standing behind Kathleen, her arms wrapped around her from behind.
The kids oohed and ahhed at each firework that lit the sky. But Elliot...he only had eyes for Olivia. Watching her watch the kids made him feel a sense of pride. Even now his love for her only grew. When she felt him staring, she turned and gave him a questioning look. He just smiled causing her to blush and lean up to kiss him gently. Richie squirmed his way out of his Dad's grasp to lean against the balcony with his sisters. Kid free, Elliot wrapped an arm around Olivia's back. Resting her head against his shoulder, she tangled her hand with his.
She had never been one of those girls to believe in fairytales. But here in this place, with these people, she was starting to become a believer after all.
On the second to last night, Elliot surprised Olivia with news that they would be going out to dinner alone. Olivia had been very surprised as they had done the planning for the trip together. The kids would be staying with one of the onsight babysitters. They would go to a show at the hotel, have dinner and spend the evening watching movies in their room.
At 5:00, Elliot and Olivia said their goodbyes to the kids and made their way to the lobby. Olivia was dressed in a simple white sundress. Her usual bronze skin was even darker after a week in the sun. The contrast to the bright white dress accentuated her beauty even more. Her brown locks tumbled in loose curls around her face and she had just a hint of makeup on. Walking to the front of the hotel, Elliot had to remind himself that she was his when she caught the attention of more than a few men passing by.
Olivia turned to look at him and chuckled when she saw him glaring at a group of men who were checking her out. Looping her arm through his, she leaned against his shoulder and whispered, "Down boy."
He moved his arm to wrap protectively and possessively around her shoulders, "Just making it clear you're here with someone."
She smiled seductively and snaked her arms around his neck. Pulling him closer she captured his lips in a searing kiss that left him momentarily speechless. When she pulled away, she held his face with one hand and smoothed the other against his chest, "Now they definitely know. I'm taken."
Smirking down at her he sighed, "Maybe we should skip dinner and hit a sleazy motel instead."
She threw her head back and laughed, shaking her head as she pulled away, "Oh no Stabler. You promised me a romantic dinner for two and that's what I'm getting." Her eyes still twinkled mischievously, "But maybe if you're good...I'll thank you properly later."
Elliot growled deep in his throat, "I'm so damn glad we opted for the multiroom suite."
She laughed again, "Me too." Glancing behind her she asked, "So where are we going? Do we need a cab?"
Just then a red convertible pulled up in front of them and Elliot smiled, "We are heading out of the park for tonight. And I'm driving us."
Her eyes shifted to him in surprise, "What?"
The driver tossed Elliot the keys, he caught them easily and then winked at Olivia and held the door open for her, "Hop in."
She laughed happily and shook her head, "What did you do?"
Closing the door behind her, Elliot leaned down and kissed her, "Taking my girl out in style tonight."
Olivia beamed at him, "Relaxed vacation Elliot is fun."
Elliot wiggled his eyebrows at her, "Wait until you meet Honeymoon Elliot in a few months."
As he rounded the car she once again couldn't believe this was her life
Elliot was full of surprises. He drove them out of Orlando and down towards the coast for a beachside dinner. Although the drive was long, Olivia couldn't have cared less. The wind was in her hair, the sun was still shining and she was next to Elliot driving a sleek red convertible and damn did he look good…
He had a pair of her favorite jeans on, flip flops, a light gray button down shirt that made his eyes look even bluer. He looked relaxed. Happy.
Sighing she turned her head up and let the sun wash over her as they drove. Elliot glanced over at her and smiled, "You okay with the top down?"
Olivia nodded and let her hand lean against the car, feeling the wind slice between her fingers, "Absolutely."
He smiled and tangled his fingers with her free hand. Lifting it, he pressed a kiss to her knuckles, "You look gorgeous tonight. You always do...but tonight I get you all to myself."
Rolling her head to the side on the headrest she smiled cheekily at him, "You look pretty good yourself Stabler…"
He kissed the top of her hand again and then rested their hands on his thigh, "I hope it's okay I surprised you. The kids knew about it." Shrugging he said, "I know this is a family vacation but I wanted us to have some alone time too. Especially before we head back. We'll be crazy at work as usual…"
"Of course it's okay. As long as the kids weren't upset." She replied.
Smiling softly at her he shook his head, "There you go again putting their needs first…"
Her cheeks flushed and she bit her lip, "Well I did make a promise to do that. Forever. And I plan on keeping it."
As the car slowed and they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, he put the car in park and turned to look at her. She was watching him carefully, trying to read his expression. He was quiet. And for a moment she wondered if something was wrong. But when he leaned in and kissed her with such care, her heart rate quickly sped up. "El?"
He kissed her lips once more, then her nose and finally her forehead, "I've said it before and I'll say it again." He moved to look her right in the eyes, "I have no idea what I did to deserve you but I'm going to make damn sure I'm worthy of keeping you."
He offered her another kiss, a wink and then got out of the car and opened her door for her. They walked hand in hand into the restaurant, gave their name and were escorted to a table on the balcony overlooking the ocean. It was bound to be a wonderful night.
After dinner, Elliot led her towards the beach across from the restaurant. She was more relaxed after two glasses of wine and the sunset, the ocean waves and the romance in the air set her heart on fire. Slipping off her shoes, she held them in one hand and quickly reached for his hand with the other. Without needing to say a word, they walked together down the shore. Olivia hadn't been to the ocean often in her life but she understood why people loved it. Elliot watched as she pulled away from him slightly, pulling up the long white dress and dipping her feet in the cold water.
She shrieked and stumbled backwards, laughing he caught her and wrapped his arms around her waist, "It's February...not going to be that warm."
She chuckled and leaned against him, "I know...but it's Florida! I thought it would be a little warmer than that!"
He continued to laugh and rocked her back and forth, leaning his chest against her back. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he nuzzled her closer and spread his hands across her abdomen in the thin dress. "You cold?"
Olivia shook her head and leaned further into him, "No...someone's keeping me warm."
He smiled and nipped her neck playfully, "Always here to warm you up when you need it."
"You should put that in your vows." She said with a throaty laugh, "Should be a requirement to be a husband."
Elliot laughed again and spun her around, "I can do that." He slid one hand to her hip and the other grasped her hand as he listened to the music coming from the restaurant behind them.
She smiled and felt him beginning to lead her, "What are you doing?"
"Dance with me." He said in a soft voice with a little shrug.
Leaning further into him, she put her hand on his shoulder and rested her chin on it as he led her across the sandy shore. Closing her eyes, she let herself live in this moment letting all other thoughts leave her mind. She was dancing on a beach with Elliot Stabler. If you had asked her a year ago if this were possible, she would have laughed. In fact she did laugh slightly, and he squeezed her hip wanting to know what was so funny, "What are you thinking?"
Olivia sighed again and pulled her face away to look at him, "I was thinking that a year ago...I would have thought this would never happen. That we would never be. Detective's Benson and Stabler dancing on a beach? No way."
Elliot bit his lip and watched her, "Really?"
She shook her head, "El...as much as I wanted more, I couldn't let myself think about it. If I thought about it...I knew I'd be disappointed when you didn't want the same thing I did."
Elliot studied her face carefully, "Liv...I wanted this more than you could have known. This right here...is all I've ever wanted. Being with someone who loves me, who I love. Unconditionally."
Tears pricked in her eyes and she had to look down at his chest, overwhelmed by her emotions, "Me too."
"Hey." He whispered, nudging her gently with his hip, "What's wrong?" When she didn't respond, he moved his hand from her hip and tilted her face up to him, "Tell me."
"Nothing's wrong." She said leaning into his touch, "Sometimes it just overwhelms me how much I love you. And at times it...scares me."
Elliot leaned forward and kissed her, "I know. But...we're here Liv. This is our life. I'm going to be your husband. Forever. I'm not going anywhere."
She sighed and leaned further into him, wrapping both arms around his waist, "I'm just so afraid to screw this up. I would never survive losing you or the kids. I know that Elliot. I've survived a lot of things in my life...but hurting any of you. Losing you. I could never survive that. I would never forgive myself either."
Moving both hands up to hold her face, he looked deep into her eyes, "Liv...all we need from you is for you to love us the way you do right now. I pinch myself every morning when I wake up and see you beside me. When I know that you're mine. And then I see you with the kids…" He felt a lump form in his throat and he had to close his eyes tightly, "Do you have any idea what it meant to me to sit beside you in that courtroom? To see you promise to love my children forever? Olivia...you have changed our lives. For the better. In every possible way. There is never going to be a day when we don't love you. Just be you...you're impossible not to love."
She laughed nervously and ducked her head under his chin, feeling incredibly vulnerable, "See my Partner Detective Stabler wouldn't have said incredible things like that. Sometimes...sometimes it still doesn't seem possible that you're the one saying those things to me."
He smiled and kissed the top of her head, "Liv...there was no way I wasn't going to fall for you. You have no idea how amazing you are."
She sighed and pulled herself away again to look at him, "I agree with the kids...can we live here please? I'm so incredibly happy right now."
Cradling her face in his hands he kissed her again, "I'll do my best to make you this happy no matter where we are. Every day won't be easy...there will be plenty of hard times. But we can do this. I know we can."
Pushing herself up on her toes in the sand, she wrapped her arms around his neck, "God I love you."
Elliot smiled and reached behind him, pulling something from his pocket, "And I love you."
She was confused for a moment and then saw he was dangling something in front of her. She gasped when the dim light caught on the silver bracelet, "El…"
He reached out with one hand and pulled her arm up and wrapped the bracelet around her wrist, "This is from me and the kids."
She swallowed hard and lifted her wrist to look at it, "What…"
He moved the charms on the chain one at a time, "Each charm has the fingerprint and name of each kid and one for me." Tears welled up in her eyes again, "We wanted you to always have a reminder of the family you do have. That you will always have. And there is room to add more...down the road if we have more kids."
She touched each charm, running her finger over the grooves on the charm, "Elliot it's beautiful. I don't even know what to say…"
"I meant what I said Liv...you changed our lives. You saved us. When Kathy left we were drowning. You showed up and you made us see the world in color again. You made the kids smile again. Made them feel happy, feel safe. Feel loved. We will love you forever. As long as you want us." He whispered affectionately.
Olivia shook her head and looked up at him, "I can guarantee that I want the five of you forever."
Elliot squeezed her close, "We're going to be happy. I know we are. Even when things are hard...we'll be happy. I promise."
"I know we will." She kissed him gently and he smiled at her and spun her around on the beach again, basking in their love in this beautiful place.
The following morning, Olivia woke up for their last day of vacation. It was still early, she could tell. She should have been tired because they had been up late but she wasn't and she didn't want to waste the last day away. When they returned to the hotel, they went back to the suite and checked on the kids who were all sound asleep. Going back to their own room, Elliot had made love to her so tenderly she had felt consumed by him. Waking up in his arms, she ran her fingers against his forearm and breathed him in. Realizing she was going to get to wake up to this everyday, she couldn't help but smile.
She felt him shifting behind her and knew he was exhausted. When he pulled away and rolled onto his back, she sat up slowly. Watching him sleep, she decided to let him rest some more. He more than deserved it. She could hear the kids talking in the other rooms and decided to go check on them and start their day. When she found them in the main room, they made a plan to get dressed and go down to the pool for breakfast so that Elliot could sleep.
Ten minutes later, she scribbled a note for him and placed it on the pillow beside him. She put in an order from the hotel kitchen and walked with the kids down to the pool. It was still early enough that the pool was mainly empty. They set up their tables in the corner and waited for the food to be delivered. As they waited, Olivia made sure to apply enough sunscreen on all four of the kids. She helped Lizzie and Richie cut up their pancakes as they ate and talked comfortably. The kids all wanted to swim but she insisted they wait a little while after eating. So they sat around on the lounge chairs and talked all about their trip and what they wanted to do on their last day.
Maureen reached out and took Olivia's arm, "Dad gave you the charm bracelet I see."
Olivia held it closer to her heart and smiled, "He did. And I love it. It's beautiful."
"Daddy said that with our thumbprints on it, we'll all be with you everyday." Lizzie said with a smile.
Olivia reached out and ruffled her hair, "Exactly baby. That's why I love it so much. It's perfect."
"So what happens when we go home?" Kathleen asked leaning against her lounge chair.
Olivai looked over at her and smiled, "Well, we go home and back to work and school."
"Yes. Except now, instead of just living with us, you're our Mom." Richie said pointing at her.
Olivia nodded, "That is true. Officially, I am your Mom."
"And in a few months, you'll be married to Daddy." Lizzie said with a big smile, "Can we help you pick out your dress?"
"I'd love that." She answered, "I'll definitely need your help."
"And we can tell everyone that you are our Mom?" Richie asked excitedly "Can I tell our friends who you are?"
Olivia smiled at him, loving how much he loved to call her Mom, "Of course."
Maureen smiled at her, "Do you think you and Dad will have more kids?"
Olivia fidgeted slightly, not because she was worried about having more kids but because she didn't want to go down the 'where do babies come from' conversation with the kids. "We have definitely talked about it. If we're lucky enough...then yes."
Maureen smiled at her, "A little girl that looks just like you would drive Dad crazy."
Olivia chuckled, "You might be right about that."
The girls continued to talk about wedding plans and more babies, but Olivia could see Richie moving slightly away from them on another lounger. The smile that had been present on his face since they got to Florida was long gone. He had a frown now and was curled up as in a stance of protection. She wondered if he was starting to get sad about leaving. Standing up, she sat down on the chair beside him and ruffled his hair, "Hey little man...you okay?"
Richie didn't look at her but rested his chin on his knees, "Yeah."
Glancing back at the girls, she saw they were still caught up in their own conversation so she turned back to her son. Her son. The thought made her heart flutter. Watching him, his scowl so matched his Father when he was upset about something. She reached for him again but he shrugged her off, "Richie…" He froze and she leaned closer to him, "Honey, what's wrong? Are you sad about leaving? I know it's hard sometimes to leave vacation...but maybe we can come back sometime. Would you like that?"
He frowned and shrugged again, "I don't know." He paused and then whispered, "Maybe you can come with your new kids."
The way he said it made her sit up a little straighter, made her heart ache, "Richie…" Watching him wipe away his tears she leaned in, "Honey...look at me."
Richie turned to look at her, his lip trembling, "If you have new kids you won't need us. You won't want us. They will be your real kids."
As soon as the words left his mouth, Olivia's heart cracked and she understood exactly what the problem was, "Oh Richie…" He tried to shrug away from her again but she didn't let him, instead she pulled him into her lap, "Richie listen to me."
She didn't know that Elliot had walked up behind them, none of the kids had seen him though. He stood to the side and watched what was happening, ready to jump in if he needed to but he trusted Olivia. The girls had caught onto something that was happening. Richie was crying now but Olivia held him close not letting him escape her. She needed to make him understand just how wrong he was.
"You won't want us." He said again, hiccuping through his tears, "Why do you need more kids? Aren't we enough?"
"Richie." She held him close and he quickly turned, curled up against her and cried harder, "No matter what happens...no matter who else comes along you are my son. And your sisters are my daughters. I don't care that I didn't carry you...I don't care that I wasn't there from day one. You are my kids. I am your Mother and nothing will ever change that." He still cried and she looked over at the girls who were listening, "I made a promise to love you and to take care of you no matter what happens and I meant that. There's one thing you should know about me...I don't make decisions unless I am totally sure. And I am sure that this is what I want. The four of you are my kids and always will be even if your Dad and I have more kids. Nothing changes this. Do you hear me? I am always going to want you. I will never, ever leave you. I love you so much."
Richie shifted in her arms, and looked up at her, his eyes and cheeks red and wet from his tears, "Do you promise?"
"I promise." She whispered to him, "And I don't make promises I can't keep, remember? You're stuck with me honey. No matter who does or doesn't come along after you. You are my son. For always."
Richie slowly smiled, "For always."
She leaned in and nuzzled his nose feeling confident that he had heard her and believed her. She felt a hand on her back and she looked back to see Elliot smiling down at her. The look on his face told her that he had heard everything that had been said. Richie leaned in and hugged her again and she smiled, kissing his cheek before he pulled away and walked over to his sisters. Elliot sat down on the edge of the chair and watched them talking before they turned to walk towards the pool. Elliot watched them carefully to make sure they were okay in the pool and then turned back to his fiance.
She was sitting cross legged on the lounge chair and he saw her wipe away some tears, "You okay?"
She nodded slowly and scooted closer to him, "Yeah...yeah I'm okay." He looked at her, "You heard everything I assume?" He nodded and she bit her lip, "I just...hate that he even for a second worried about that."
"That's what makes you such a good Mom." He said leaning into her, "But he heard you...I know he did."
She smiled and wiped at her tears again, "I hope so."
Reaching out to her, he pulled her close and kissed the top of her head, "If he needs reminding...I'm more than certain you'll be there to refresh his memory."
Swallowing hard, she smiled and moved to kiss him, "I will." She paused for a moment then looked at him, "You...still want more kids though?"
Elliot beamed at her, "I do. Very much. I can't wait to see you pregnant."
She laughed and shook her head, "You're ridiculous."
"I say we get you pregnant sooner rather than later too." He said wiggling his eyebrows at her, "Fill the whole damn house up."
She laughed harder and leaned back in her chair, "We'll be eaten out of house and home."
"We'll manage." He said with a laugh squeezing her knee.
Looking over at the kids she smiled, "All I care about is that they're happy...that they know they are loved. I spent so many years feeling so out of place. So...alone. I don't ever want them to feel that way. Even if we do have more kids...they need to know that they are just as important."
He gently rubbed her leg up and down, "They won't ever feel that way. I felt that way a lot with my parents too. They will know they are loved."
Scooting even closer to him, she wrapped her legs around his sides, "Back to reality tomorrow…"
"Back to reality…" He said tugging on her hand, "But we can handle it."
"We'll be busy wedding planning too…" She whispered, "The girls want to go with me to get a dress."
He smiled, "They'll like being part of the process."
"We still need to meet with Father O'Callahan. And finalize the venue." She whispered.
Elliot looked over at her anxiously, "Not getting overwhelmed again, right?"
She shook her head, "No. Alex knows that we are keeping it small. I think our final list is just about 30. You're still okay with that?"
"More than okay." He said, giving her a squeeze, "Like I told you before, it should be about us. Not a bunch of people who don't really mean anything to us. Plus...I've burned enough bridges over the years to not have many friends left." He teased.
She rolled her eyes and slapped his back. "Shut up."
He chuckled and playfully swatted her arm, "No hitting…"
She laughed again and leaned back against the back of the chair again, "You're insane."
"Yeah...but I'm your future husband. So if I'm insane and you chose me...what does that make you?" He teased.
"Brainwashed." She laughed and nudged his back with her toe, "And stupid."
He squeezed her leg, "Hm...I'll remember you said that."
She smirked and tugged on his arm making him look down at her, "I'm kidding." When he was hovering over her she touched his face, "I'm lucky as hell. My future husband is incredibly thoughtful, kind, protective, smart, an amazing Father and damn sexy."
Elliot smirked down at her, "See, was that so hard to say?"
She laughed and pulled him closer, crushing her lips against his. Elliot groaned at the feel of her pressed against him. But before he could get lost in the sensation, they both heard a loud splash and were instantly covered with cold water. Olivia shrieked and Elliot jumped off of her, shaking the water from his clothes, "Richie!"
Richie popped up from the water as his sisters laughed, "What?"
Elliot smirked at him, kicked off his shoes and then dove into the pool fully clothed. The kids screamed playfully as he swam after them and tossed them around in the pool. Maureen and Kathleen swam to the end of the pool, pulled themselves out and walked towards their Mom. Olivia jumped up and started to back away laughing, "Don't you dare!"
Not realizing she was so close to the edge, Elliot reached out and tugged her ankle making her fall backwards over the top of him. The sound of her shriek and the splash of the water under her had everyone holding their breath. But when she broke the surface and was laughing, they joined in once more. Pouncing on Elliot and ducking him under the water, all worries about what happened after vacation quickly exited their minds. No matter what happened, they would figure it out as a family.