Epilogue: Criminality

She picked up this rock which she had found in on the floor, well it wasn't a rock it was more like a piece of brick from one of the crumbling bricks in the wall. Her eyes glanced over the wall and she etched yet another line onto the wall in front of her. Mentally she counted the tally in front of her; one hundred and fifty lines. Shaking her head somewhat confused at how long she had to wait, not entirely convinced she knew herself as she kept forgetting that detail in particular but either way she didn't know if it was worth the wait or worth anything.

The memories continued to cloud her mind of the times she had been happy since the factory roof fell down. The way she and Peter playfully ribbed each other on his boat. The way they danced in the moonlight romantically. The way they challenged each other to jump off the boat. Somehow the lack of fun in here made the memories in her mind fulfil her need for entertainment.

It was as if it was her own private film. A smile plastered on her face and if any of the other people in here saw her she was convinced that they would think she was on something especially with how dopey she probably looked; drugged up on happiness was her. It was a contrast though, the way her eyes closed and the memories played in her mind, the colours of the greek ocean and the bright blue sun and their tanned skin to her opening her eyes and seeing the grey walls surrounding her and the small little window with bars covering it.

In a way, she was weirdly relieved not to be near Peter now. Of course, she had moments when she wondered how he was getting on inside. Mind you he was probably thriving, out of the way of temptation and he could more than stand up for himself. He was a charmer though and could get on with everyone. She was the opposite and people understood that pretty quickly and soon she found she was on her own but that loneliness gave her a sense of security.

After those moments of relief came the moments of guilt for running off with Peter. The more she thought about it she wished she had done the right thing in the first place no matter how hard it was for her to do it no matter the consequences. There was one thing she didn't know and that was whether the consequences would have differed from the prison sentence she was serving now. All she knew now was that everything happens for a reason and this was just one of those things which had happened and that was a part of her life. She liked to see it that way anyway.

Carla knew she had a choice that she could have made. Whether she made the right one or the wrong one that didn't necessarily matter now. All that mattered to her was having those valuable memories of herself and Peter in Greece to get her through another dark period in her life. She was thankful for them all, she was so thankful for making that choice because if she was put in this predicament at the time the roof collapse happened then she didn't know how she would get through it as she didn't have anything good in her life that would be worth remembering in a place as bland as this.

The memories were so important to her right now. More important than the ordinary person would realise. They kept her sane and happy, they kept her feeling alive and well within herself giving her that sense of strength and viability in this new world to which she had to adapt. No one had come to see her, no one had come to say anything to her. All the other women despised her in their own ways and if she was honest she despised them as well. Very little human contact in the one hundred and fifty days she was in here so far for made her feel alive as memories were such powerful things. She was brought out of her thoughts,

"Carla"

"Hm?" she forces herself out of her thoughts

"You have someone here to see you"

"Who?"

"Peter Barlow," the officer says, Carla sighs, she was happy deep down but somehow she couldn't bring herself to show that happiness

"Ok" she slides off the bed, the officer guides her towards the visiting hall as she queues to go out, she spots Peter there rubbing his hand over his face, he clocks her and jumps up scooping her into his arms as he kisses her, she kisses him back

"Sit" the officer states, Carla and Peter sit at the table and take each other's hands neither of them knowing what to say until Carla spoke

"Why are you here?" she questions looking at him in the eyes, he gulps "I didn't...I don't"

"Because I love you," he says simply that it makes her feel annoyed and agitated "I meant every word I said in our wedding vows. I'm never going back on them"

"Peter" she lets out a breath "I don't think you understand how long I'm in here for"

"I know exactly what I'm getting into Carla"

"Even if I believe you" she takes in his appearance "I can't let you do this because I know you're going to say that you will wait for me and I can't let you do that because you have a life you need to live"

"I'm waiting for you, I don't care what you say. You don't get to be the only one who's stubborn"

"Peter" she whispers "I will always love you"

"And I will always love you"

"Please Peter, this is me setting you free, this is me telling you you're allowed to move on from me"

"I got out yesterday," he says randomly, she nods slowly "Out on good behaviour"

"That's good"

"Not really, everyone hates me, and you"

"Either way...it doesn't matter" she comments "Hate is so minor compared to everything else in the world take it from someones who's in prison with a bunch of hormonal and bitchy girls"

"Are you ok?" he questions concerned about her comment"

"Peter Barlow I think you more than know I can handle myself" she smirks nudging him on the arm, he laughs slightly "I just want you to be happy"

"You said that once"

"And I'm saying it again because it's true. You won't be happy waiting for me Peter, the waiting will drive you insane"

"It won't because I love you" he whispers squeezing her hand "You're not listening to me"

"I am baby" she drops her gaze "I just need to focus on getting through my sentence now and you're helping me do that without you actually being here. By me setting you free I want to give you that opportunity as well"

"How?"

"Greece, the memories we had, all of them they help me get through every day and I hope by me setting you free that will give you the strength to continue your life without living in the shadow of mine"

"You've really thought about this haven't you?"

"It's hard not to when there's nothing to do apart from wind up the women" she smirks, he nudges her at her attempts to lighten the situation "Be free Peter, for me"

"What if I can't?"

"All I ask is that you try" she whispers "Try for me baby, all you have to do is try"

"I want you to know that I will always love you" he takes her hand letting out a sob, she tries to compose herself as well knowing if she was seen to have cried in here she would get taunted over it "Always remember that"

"I always will" she whispers "Forever and always"

"D-Do you want me to ask anyone to visit you?"

"No" she shakes her head "I don't want you visiting me after this as well"

"Why?" he questions with his eyes wide as he was confused at how he would cope

"The whole point of setting you free Peter is allowing you to be yourself without having to see me or be anywhere near me. You can't be free from me if you see me"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I hate to think about what would happen if I didn't" she comments quietly closing her eyes "I want you to live your life as your life in itself not your life in the shadow of mine. Promise me, Peter"

"I can't"

"Promise me" she demands quietly linking her fingers through his and smiling at him "Be free Peter"

"I promise" he whispers looking into her eyes "I promise until the day you're out I will live my life being free from you"

"Good lad" she winks at him "Now go and be free, go and be the person you want without me in your life"

"Carla," he says "Just remember, you're not a bad person"

"Thank you," she says softly needing that boost from him "Now go, I don't want to see you until I'm walking down those cobbled streets in the place we call home"

"Bye" he whispers giving her hand one last squeeze before getting up and leaving the visitors hall, she pushes the chair away from the desk and leaves as well, she finds her way back to her cell and hears the door close, she lets out a pent up sob knowing that this was now the right thing for their future.

The End