"I guess most of Nova Corps wanna uphold the laws, but these ones here, they're corrupt and cruel," the raccoon - Rocket announces. We are on the Kiln, a prison space station in the outer reaches of the Nova Empire. "But, hey, that's not my problem. I ain't gonna be here long. I've escaped 22 prisons, this one's no different. You're lucky the broad showed up, because otherwise, me and Groot would be collecting that bounty right now, and you'd be getting drawn and quartered by Yondu and those Ravagers."
"A lot of people have tried to kill us," I respond, angrily.
"Yeah, and we ain't about to be brought down by a tree and a talking raccoon," Peter agrees.
"What's a raccoon?" Rocket asks.
"'What's a raccoon'," Peter mocks. "It's what you are, stupid."
"Ain't no thing like me except me."
"So, this orb has a real shiny blue suitcase, Ark of the Covenant, Maltese Falcon sort of vibe. What is it?"
"Your pop culture references are nearly half a century out of date," I remark flatly.
"I am Groot," the tree creature says.
"So what?" Peter asks.
"What's the orb?" I add
"I have no words for honorless thieves," responds the woman who had attacked us.
"Pretty high and mighty coming from the lackey of a genocidal maniac," Rocket retorts. "Yeah, I know who you are. Anyone who's anyone knows who you are."
"Yeah, we know who you are," Peter said before turning to Groot. Who is she?"
"I am Groot."
"Yeah, you said that."
"I wasn't retrieving the orb for Ronan, I was betraying him. I had an agreement to sell it to a third party."
"I am Groot."
"Well, that's just as fascinating as the last eighty-nine times you told me that," Peter snaps, obviously annoyed by Groot's repetitiveness.
"What's wrong with Ent here?" I ask Rocket.
"Well, he don't know talking good like me and you," Rocket replies. "So his vocabulistics is limited to 'I' and 'am' and 'Groot'. Exclusively in that order."
Judging by the racoon's sentence structure and grammar, he obviously doesn't "know talking good" himself.
"I tell you what, that's gonna wear real thin real soon," Peter complains right before we pass by an officer listening to his Walkman. Peter being Peter, he immediately begins angrily shouting, until he is stunned twice.
Later, I learn that the woman who had attacked Peter and I is named Gamora and she used to work for Ronan. The next day, Rocket helps us and another prisoner named Drax escape. We then take the Milano to Knowhere to sell the orb. While the others wait in a bar for the person who's buying the mysterious artifact, I wander through the conliy. Knowhere is where I first appeared in this universe. I had lived here for about three months. I don't pay attention to where I'm going and after a while, I find myself in front of a derelict, abandoned starship hangar. This was my old home. I squeeze through a broken window.
"Kata Jor-El," a familiar, commanding voice states upon my entrance.
"Monitor," I angrily growl when I see who's waiting for me in the middle of the dusty room. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to speak to you. You cannot allow Ronan to obtain the orb."
"Yeah, figured that out already."
"The fate of the entire universe is at stake, not just Xandar."
"Then I guess I should just give up then," I snap bitterly. "I'm done being a hero! Didn't end well last time, will probably be exactly the same if I try again!"
"I sent you here for a reason."
"My 'purpose'. You mentioned it when the skies turned red."
"I had to save you from the Crisis on Infinite Earths, because I saw that you'll be needed elsewhere. To preserve the timeline, I cannot tell you what will happen, but you must be ready."
"You want to preserve the timeline, but you don't care that you could have saved millions from the anti-matter wave! Everyone's gone. Kal, Kara, Lois, Jon-El, Ma and Pa Kent, Alex, Nia, Brainy, Kalex, J'ohn, Barry, Catelin, Cisco, Everyone! And you could have saved them!"
"You'll need your powers for the coming battle." The Monitor seems unphased by my outburst and taps my forehead. I briefly feel my powers return.
"What did you do?"
"Soon, you will no longer need solar energy to access your full abilities. Now I suggest you return to your comrades. They need your help." With that, the enigmatic entity vanishes.
I quickly make my way back to the Milano and find Drax, Rocket, and Groot there as well.
"What took you so long?" Rocket asks. "We would've left without you if Groot didn't want to wait."
"Whatever," I snap, still upset from my encounter with the monitor.
"You seem angry," Drax states.
"Really? Hadn't noticed," I reply sarcastically. "Where's Peter?"
"The Ravagers took him and Gamora, but I have a plan," Rocket tells me.
"Ok, where's the orb?"
"Ronan has it."
"I leave you guys alone for two minutes and you screw everything up!"
Drax stood on top of the Milano wearing a spacesuit and holding a large weapon that Rocket had somehow thrown together last minute.
"Attention, idiots," Rocket announces to the Elector. "The lunatic on top of this craft is holding a Hadron Enforcer. It's a weapon of my own design."
"What?" Youndu asked, obviously not believing the raccoon.
"If you don't hand over our companions now, he's gonna tear your ship a new one. A very big new one."
"I ain't buying it."
"I'm giving you to the count of five. Five, four, three…"
"No! Wait, hold on!" Peter shouts. "Rocket, it's me! We figured it out! We're fine!"
"Oh, hey, Quill. What's going on?"
"You call that 'figured it out'?" Rocket asks once we're all on the elector. "We're gonna rob the guys who just beat us senseless."
"Oh, you want to talk about senseless?" Peter snaps. "How about trying to save us by blowing us up?"
"We were only gonna blow you up if they didn't turn you over!"
"And how on earth were they gonna turn us over when you only gave them a count of five?"
"Well, we didn't have time to work out the minutiae of the plan. This is what we get for acting altruistically!"
"If you two are done bickering, no one was gonna be blown up," I say, pulling a small device from my jacket pocket.
"Hey! That's the Hadron Enforcer's power core," Rocket complains.
"I am Groot."
"They are ungrateful," the raccoon agrees
"What's important now is we get the Ravagers' army to help us save Xandar," Gamora states.
"So we can give the Stone to Yondu who's just gonna sell to somebody even worse?"
"We'll figure that part out later," Peter says.
"Wait, there's a stone now?" I ask in disbelief.
"Oh, you weren't there when we went to sell the orb to Tivan."
"The orb held an Infinity Stone," Gamora tells me.
"Ok, yeah. I think I've heard of Infinity Stones." They were like this universe's equivlant of the Book of Desteny but they were colorful rocks.
"We have to stop Ronan."
"How?" Rocket asked.
"I have a plan," Peter says.
"You've got a plan?"
"Yes."
"Well, this won't end well," I state flatly.
"First of all, you're copying me from when I said I had a plan," Rocket says, referring to when he figured out how to escape the Klin.
"No, I'm not. People say that all the time, it's not that unique of a thing to say," Peter retorts.
"Secondly, I don't even believe you have a plan."
"I have part of a plan!"
"What percentage of a plan do you have?" Drax asks.
"You don't get to ask questions after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere," Gamora snaps. Rocket had told me how Drax called Ronan to the mining colony.
"I just saved Quill."
"We've already established that you destroying the ship that I'm on is not saving me!" Peter argues.
"When did we establish it?"
"Like three seconds ago!"
"I wasn't listening, I was thinking of something else."
"She's right, you don't get an opinion," Rocket remarks. "What percentage?"
"I don't know, twelve percent," Peter replies.
"Twelve percent!" the raccoon laughs.
"That's a fake laugh."
"It's real!"
"Totally fake."
"That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life because that is not a plan."
I seriously doubt those two can quit arguing long enough to figure out how to stop Ronan.
"It's barely a concept," Gamora says.
"You're taking their side?" Peter asks.
"I am Groot."
"So what, it's better than eleven percent?" Rocket asks. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Thank you Groot," Peter says. "Thank you. See? Groot's the only one of you who has a clue." I snort as Groot starts eating one of his own leaves.
"Guys. Come on. Yondu is gonna be here in two seconds. He expects to hear this big plan of ours. I need your help. I look around at us, you know what I see? Losers. I mean, like, folks who have lost stuff. And we have. Man, we have. All of us. Our homes, our families, normal lives. And, usually, life takes more than it gives, but not today. Today, it's given us something. It has given us a chance."
"To do what?" Drax asked.
"To, for once, not run away. I, for one, am not gonna stand by and watch as Ronan wipes out billions of innocent lives."
"Nice speech, but I think someone's been reading too many comic books," I scoff.
"But, Quill, stopping Ronan, it's impossible," Rocket says. "You're asking us to die."
"Yeah, I guess I am," Peter replies.
"Quill, I have lived most of my life surrounded by my enemies," Gamora states, standing up. "I will be grateful to die among my friends."
"You are an honorable man, Quill. I will fight beside you," Drax follows Gamora's lead. "And in the end, see my wife and daughter again.
"I am Groot."
"I don't got that long a lifespan, anyway," Rocket says. Everyone turns to me.
"No! Absolutely no way!" I yell. "I've tried being a hero before! Everyone I knew died!
"Well, why not keep that from happening again?" Rocket reasons. I feel everyone's gazes on me.
"I'm not getting out of this, am I?" I groaned as I stood up.
"You all happy?" the raccoon asked Quill "We're all standing up now. Bunch of idiots standing in a circle."
A/N: I couldn't find a complete transcript for GOTG and I haven't watched it in months so, I couldn't write the complete Klin scene. Kat complains about Peter's outdated references, but then she calls Groot an Ent. I've don't even like lotr, I just googled fictional trees.