AN – Thank you again for all the reviews! To the guest reviewer, I thought having the DPOV would help with explaining why he does what he does. Also, I know my grammar sucks, I failed GCSE English 5 times and eventually gave up so there will be mistakes but thank you for the correction I shall try to remember them I'm always happy to receive criticism if it's going to help me!

Here is my new chapter! I hope you enjoy it! Sorry it's a day later than I said, my weekend at work was a little chaos and I just didn't have the mental strength to proofread.

Disclaimer – VA Belongs to Richelle Mead!

Chapter 4 – The Killing

Once I left the gym, I ran across campus trying to hold my breaking heart together long enough until I got back into the safety of my room. I didn't go to classes and just stayed in my room and cried. I knew when I left, I was about to break, I just didn't expect to cry for this long. I felt like my heart was being torn from my chest repeatedly. Eventually the tears stopped, and I was just dry sobbing into my pillow.

After the sobbing had stopped and I'd just been staring blankly at my ceiling for few hours, I decided to get up and stretch my legs. It was the middle of the afternoon, or night whichever way you wanted to look at it, so classes were just finishing. I knew I was going to get into trouble for missing classes without a reason, but what was another black mark on my record? I couldn't face going in today. I didn't have the energy to pretend I was ok because I wasn't. I went out and wondered around the school grounds for an hour, stretching out my tense muscles, until I eventually entered the administration building.

Sitting in the foyer I watched the students and teachers walking around from the corner, mostly hidden from view. I'd never been one for people watching but today it seemed to calm me. I heard someone approaching but just kept the blank expressionless look on my face. I was trying to maintain it the best I could. Challenging my inner Dimitri which hurt all the more. It wasn't until the person stopped next to me that I turned to look up at them. I expected a guardian, probably Alberta to scold me for not being in lessons or Dimitri for skipping training. What I didn't expect was Kirova standing there. She looked at me apprehensively, after what felt like minutes, she decided to say whatever it was she needed too. ''Rose, I'm not sure about this but I should give you the option. Victor keeps asking to see you. Says he has information that he will only give to you.''

I was shocked. Victor wanted to speak to me. Why? What could he possibly have to say to me that I didn't already know? He had ruined everything. I was fine before. Fine with imagining me and Dimitri. That we could be something. That he felt the same way. Then Victor and his stupid charm came along and ruined my perfectly happy delusional fantasies. ''Urm, I'm not sure. What information, do you know?'' I asked questionably.

''He says it's to do with Vasilisa. That's all he would tell us.''

''If it's information that will help us, I'll do it. I'll head there now.'' I said more than a little reluctantly. I stood and started walking in the opposite direction to her.

Once I spoke with the Guardians on duty, explaining why I was here and checking with Kirova they let me through. They presumably already knew Victor wanted to see me. They seemed shocked Kirova was allowing this but let me through all the same. One guardian escorted me to his cell before turning and leaving to stand further away, out of earshot. It's not like I could mistake him. He was the only prisoner in the academy cells.

''Rose, so glad you could come and speak to me'' he said with a cheerful expression.

''Just get to the point. What information do you want to tell me?'' I snapped, not in the mood. He had ruined everything and just looking at him brought back memories I'd rather forget.

''Always so fierce. Ever wondered why that is? Why all of a sudden you became so reckless? Why you don't fear hiding your emotions? They don't hold you back like normal people. It's what makes you so remarkable, but also so dangerous.'' Why is he talking in riddles? I rolled my eyes. ''I saw the accident report you know. From the car accident. Your position in the car. You should have died. No ifs, no buts..''

I interrupted at this point; I knew this. I knew I should have died. Yet here I am. ''Yeah, I know that. I've been told. No one knows how I survived. But I did. And if you don't remember, I've always been a little reckless.'' I snapped again.

He chuckled darkly ''No dear. You didn't.'' I glared at him as if he had gone mad. Waiting for him to continue. ''You see, when the car crashed. You died. Vasilisa hadn't specialised, or she had but her magic was just dormant. You awoke her spirit. Seeing you dead. She couldn't handle it. More than her parents and her brother. She couldn't handle seeing you dead and the spirit within her woke up and healed you. She brought you back. Back from the darkness. You crossed over to the other side. It's what formed your bond. Why you are bonded to her forever. You've been kissed by shadows. You're shadow-kissed.'' I remembered something I had read, about shadow-kissed Anna and St Vladimir. Maybe me and Lissa are more like they are then I realised?

''So, what does that mean for Lissa? You said you had information that could help her.''

''That's all I'm saying for now. You'll have to come back to see me again.''

''Not likely, we'll figure it out ourselves. We always do. And you haven't really said anything to help her so why would I believe you would next time.'' I muttered stubbornly. I wanted to ask him about the charm. Why he used the charm on us, I didn't know if I should. Eventually my own impulsivity caught up with me and I blurted it out ''Why use that charm on me and Guardian Belikov, you could have chosen any other charm. Why lust?'' Damn. Maybe he was on to something about me not holding back, just for once I wish I had some damn control over my emotions, but they were pretty high strung at the moment with the events the past few days.

''Because I needed you distracted. It was the easiest way. I'd been watching you and Vasilisa since you returned. Both together and separately, I picked up on your it, so I decided to use it to my advantage. Why not use something right in front of me?'' He grinned wickedly.

''Picked up on what?'' I asked, outraged. Using people like this. He was a sick bastard. I can't believe I never saw it before, he had us all fooled.

''The attraction between the two of you.''

I laughed and shook my head. ''No. You're lying.''

''On the contrary, I'm not. The spell wouldn't have worked without there being some underlying feelings. For both you and him.'' He said mischievously.

''You're lying. That's not how they work. Maybe for me, but not for him.'' I replied persistently. I couldn't believe that. Because then that meant Dimitri had lied to me. I trusted him and believed him more than I ever would Victor after the manipulation he had caused.

''Believe what you will. Charms are powerful, they just aren't that powerful. They don't create feelings. I made the charm specifically for you both. You both did the rest.'' He shrugged.

I shook my head. I refused to believe him. Not entertaining his twisted words that were just designed to confuse me all the more. Dimitri said the charm created those feelings. That it was all the charm. I believed him. A tiny part of me hoped I was wrong, but I couldn't entertain it. He wouldn't lie to me. He wouldn't hurt me like that. Not when he was already so plagued by the guilt of what happened.

Unexpectantly I felt someone approaching quickly, the hair on the back of my neck standing up. Suddenly that same hair was getting ripped from my scalp as I went flying over the other side of the cells.

My head flew backwards colliding with the brick wall behind me and my vision blurred. That hurt. I shook my head to regain my surroundings just in time to see Natalie walking towards me. Her skin was paler than usual, looking upwards quickly I noticed blood around her mouth, dripping down onto her slightly blood-stained clothes, and even worse than that. Her eyes were a bright crimson. I gave a small gasp. Not believing what I was seeing. Natalie was Strigoi.

''Natalie. Be a dear and get me out.'' Victor called from his cell ''And try not to kill her in the process, she might be useful.'' I was shocked. He didn't seem surprised by what he was seeing. He knew. He knew she turned Strigoi. I saw his mischievous grin again and realised he made her or asked her to. To save him from prison. Another one of his sick and twisted plans.

''You sick bastard!'' I shouted as Natalie continued stalking towards me. ''You made your own daughter turn strigoi.''

''It was necessary. Natalie understands.'' I couldn't believe it. He was that far gone he'd actually make his own daughter turn into the one thing we are trained to fight and kill. Told to fear.

I didn't have a second to digest this new information. From behind her, I saw a guardian charging up the corridor and Natalie quickly spun around in a second and snapped his neck. He didn't stand a chance, even if she was new, she was quicker than him. I didn't have time to even acknowledge who we had just lost, or how Natalie had got past him in the first place. I had to focus. To protect Lissa. To protect Christian. To protect all my friends. And protect Dimitri. I couldn't let Natalie out. With that last thought, I decided on what I needed to do. Natalie suddenly sunk her fangs into the now dead guardian, draining his lifeless body.

With that small distraction, I drew on all my pent-up anger to help me fight, I felt like I'd just been charged with additional fury which helped me be stronger. I drew on that feeling and my anger flared even more. Thinking about everything that had happened in the last few days. The charm. The rescue. Getting injured. Lissa feeding on me to save Christian. And finally, Dimitri turning me down. It all helped. Suddenly I was angrier than I had ever been. So, I attacked. I managed to throw her across the room to give me chance to get to the dead guardian and grab his stake. I dove across the room, leaning down and ripping the stake from his holder. I noticed it was a guardian from the elementary campus, but I couldn't remember his name. Spinning on my heal in preparation for her next attack I turned at the last second and we collided again.

She was new. Maybe a few hours or maybe a day old. I knew this as I'd seen her yesterday. Therefore, she was uncoordinated as we fought, and she didn't know how to use her newfound strength to her advantage yet or how to fight. I had the upper hand luckily. I was trained. Right now, I was happy I had been trained by Dimitri, he had taught me well. We traded hits back and forth, her getting a hit on my hip, shoulder and rips, I was fairly sure I had at least one broken rip on my right side from her repeated hits. I managed to strike out with my stake, slicing her across the face, neck and abdomen. She screamed when the charmed silver connected with her skin. After getting a few more hits in I saw an opportunity and took it. I swept her legs from under her, pinning her to the ground. Her arms under my knees giving me perfect access as I lined my stake up with her heart.

For a second I froze. Staring into her eyes. She was my friend. I couldn't do this to her. But then Dimitris voice came in my head 'don't hesitate'. He'd told me on one of our first lessons that I might have to kill someone I knew. Someone I considered a friend. Someone I cared for. Even someone I might love. I never thought that day would come so quickly. I never thought I'd actually have to do it. Then I remembered another lesson. One we were taught from a young age. Strigoi weren't the same. They changed the second they became the undead. They were monsters and if I didn't kill her, she'd kill me. No doubt about it. I could see it in her eyes. I could see she wanted to kill me, even if Victor had told her not to. She was too impulsive as a strigoi. She was struggling, getting more manoeuvrability as the seconds ticked by. Just as she got an arm free, I made my choice and plunged the stake through her heart. It was harder than I thought, and I had to use all my upper body strength to plunge through, piercing her heart. I'm pretty sure my technique was way off, but it got the job done. I looked her in the eyes as I did this. Watching them turn from red to her old jade green colour, she flicked her eyes into the direction of her father, who was still locked away. ''Daddy!'' She whisper shouted, a tear leaking from her eye as they went blank. Staring into nothing.

''No!'' Victor shouted. ''My daughter. You killed my daughter!'' He was reaching through the bars now. Trying to get to her or me. But we were far away at the other side of the room. My vision was beginning cloud more and more and I was afraid I'd pass out again.

Using my remaining strength, I moved off her body. ''No, you did when you made her turn strigoi.'' I replied, a tear falling from my eye ''You did it for your own selfish reasons. She was good. She was pure and you made her turn to help you and your sick need for power. And you made me kill her. My friend. You made me kill my friend!'' I shouted at him as another tear fell from my eye. I wiped it away angrily. I had to alert someone. A guardian. I knew there was another guard on duty, unless Natalie had killed him on her way in. I shuddered at the thought.

I kept trying to shake the blurry look away that was clouding my eyesight. The more time went on the more I was distracted by the pain in my head. I reached up to touch the back of my pounding head and was met by a hot wetness. Pulling my hand away and looking at it, it was covered in blood. My blood. I must have hit my head harder than I thought. The adrenaline was easing and all I could feel was the pain left from my fight. I tried to move, to at least stand up. I managed a few steps as my vision continued to blur more and more and it was getting harder and harder to focus on things around me. I was getting dizzy now. I probably had a concussion with how hard I had hit my head. I decided to just try shouting for help, I didn't think I'd manage to walk any further so slowly slipped down, leaning against the wall, sitting on the floor.

I don't know how long I sat there but I ended up laying on the floor. My head didn't spin as much that way and I felt less dizzy. I opened my eyes slightly when I heard footsteps coming up the hallway. Seeing someone charging down the hallway like a bat out of hell in a cowboy duster.

The last thing I remembered was Dimitri approaching me. Shouting at me to stay awake in a troubled strained voice.

I woke again for the second time this week, to bright fluorescent lights shinning above me. I groaned. I knew I was back in the infirmary. I should have expected it.

''Oh, come on!'' I exclaimed. ''Again? I haven't even been away a week yet.'' I didn't expect an answer. I didn't realise anyone was even in the room, but I heard chuckling on my right side and turned to see Alberta, Dimitri and Dr. Olendzki. All of them were laughing at my exclamation. ''What?'' I said in annoyance.

''Well, when I said a few days ago I wonder how many more times Guardian Belikov was going to carry you in here. I didn't expect it to happen again quite so soon.'' I glanced at Dimitri and quickly averted my eyes when I saw him looking at me. He'd carried me again, why? ''You sure know how to attract danger, Rose.''

I rolled my eyes and sighed. ''what's the damage doc?'' I asked.

''you've got a concussion but nothing serious. I had to put some stitches in the wound to the back of your head. Two broken rips which I've strapped, and they should heal quickly. You just need rest. I can discharge you if you like, but I want someone with you, and I don't want you to sleep for the next few hours. You can take pain killers if you get a headache, but you should be fine in a few days. Come back tomorrow and see me though.'' Dr. Olendzki ordered.

''Sounds good doc. I'd rather not stay here if I can avoid it'' I said jumping off the bed.

''I thought as much. As long as you have an adult nearby to do regular checks for the next few hours, I'm happy for you to leave.'' Dr. Olendzki replied. I nodded and turned to Alberta. Dr Olendzki excused herself. I turned to look at Alberta. ''Can I stay with Lissa? She can keep an eye on me, and I could really do with being with her right now, after everything that's happened.'' She nodded in agreement with a sad smile on her face.

''Yes, that's fine, but you heard what the Doctor said. Dimitri, do you mind taking Rose over for me please? And staying with her for the next few hours'' Alberta asked.

''Oh no, that's ok. I can take myself.'' I didn't want it to be awkward. And if I was being honest, I didn't want to be alone with him just yet. I certainly didn't want him hanging around for the next few hours until I could sleep. Not so soon after this morning. I couldn't handle anymore hurt.

''Rose, you heard what the doctor said. You aren't to be left alone. Guardian Belikov will take you over. He can just stay outside the Princess room and check on you regularly. End of discussion.'' She said sternly. Not giving me a chance to argue, sagging in defeat, I nodded my agreement. At my agreement she turned and walked out the room, after asking me to check in with her tomorrow.

I turned to Dimitri. ''Let's go then.'' I said coldly, not looking at him directly. I could feel his eyes on me.

''Rose, wait. Let's talk. You've been through a lot today.'' I didn't want to talk to him. Not after this morning. Hell, I didn't even want to see him, but the universe had a bitchy sense of humour apparently. ''We aren't leaving here until you talk to me.'' He said firmly.

''Great so now you actually want to have a conversation with me.'' I barked, my voice like ice even to my own ears. He flinched slightly.

''I'm not talking about that Rose.'' He paused. ''We should talk about what happened in the cells. I know you was down there because Victor had information. Kirova found me after you went down there and I followed. I didn't want you to go through that alone…'' He seemed nervous about something; I just couldn't think of what it could be.

''Don't act like you care.'' I muttered. Interrupting him.

He ignored to interruption and continued ''..whatever Victor told you, you can't believe a word he said.'' I rolled my eyes, obviously I didn't. If only he knew what Victor had told me. He had no idea how much I didn't believe him. I mean I believed him about the Lissa stuff, just not the Dimitri stuff. ''You also just killed your first strigoi. Who was a friend of yours. You need to talk to someone about that. I can be that person. Or you can find someone else who knows what it's like. But you should talk to someone.''

''I don't really know what I can say. I don't believe what Victor said. Except what he said about Lissa. He told me that I died in the car accident and Lissa revived me using spirit. It makes sense. Its why we are bonded.'' I shrugged ''But anything else he said. I know he was lying about that.'' I continued sadly, looking into his eyes. Looking for any small amount of emotion. There was none. He was blank. His guardian mask firmly in place. ''I don't know how to talk about this yet. I'm not ready. I need to process it first. Then when I'm ready I will.''

He nodded at this, accepting it. ''Ok, just promise me you will. You never forget your first kill. Yours will be worst because it was a friend.''

''I remembered what you said. When I was down there.'' I muttered, shuffling about a little awkwardly ''I hesitated for a split second. But then I heard your voice in my head telling me not too. From one of our first training sessions remember? You asked me if I could kill someone I use to know? Well I guess I answered and passed that test hey?'' I joked. He shook his head in response. Probably not believing I was joking about this already. What can I say, it's a coping mechanism.

''I'm glad you were listening. Come on. Let's get you over to the princess.'' He said as he walked to the door. I followed.

We went via my dorm room so I could get some of my clothes for the night and then headed over the Lissas dorm. We didn't talk to whole way there, and I was glad. He seemed to be happy to walk in silence, but I knew I'd hear about skipping training at some point.

When I arrived, I knocked and within a second she had swung the door open and wrapped me in her arms. ''Rose! Alberta came and told me you were going to be staying with me. She told me what happened. Are you ok?'' She shrieked ''Oh hi Guardian Belikov.'' She smiled at him and waved.

''Princess.'' He replied. ''I'll just be outside, if you need anything come and get me. Otherwise I'll do regular checks just like the Doctor said'' He said sternly looking directly at Lissa but glancing at me, with a look I couldn't pinpoint.

''Your welcome to come in if you'd like?'' Lissa replied.

Dimitri looked at me and shook his head. ''No, it's best I stay out here. Thank you though Princess.''

''Ok. I'll leave the door unlocked, just let yourself in when you need to do the checks.'' she stated as she pulled me into the room. We settled onto her bed and talked. About the dance and what happened. Not everything. I didn't mention the charm, but I told her everything from my point of view. What I saw happening and she did the same. We then talked about tonight. I told her about what Victor said about her healing me. Not going into much detail about the Natalie part. She said the same thing as Dimitri. That I needed to talk to someone, but I just wasn't ready yet. She also understood that person should be a guardian and not her. She wouldn't understand it.

After talking for hours, and multiple interruptions by Dimitri checking on me he finally bid us goodnight and we eventually fell asleep curled up on the same bed exhausted.

AN – I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review if you feel like it! From here on, it will be all my own plot. I am keeping the qualifier in though.

As for my other story, I am still writing it, but I want to complete this one then I will post that one up.

My next update may be a week away or longer yet due to working weird shifts this week. I'll try and update as soon as I can, but my job comes first.