Daughters, chapter 4

Mary Beth spent the rest of the morning catching up on backlogged DD5 forms. Not her favorite activity under normal circumstances, and absolutely the last thing she wanted to be doing today.

Her head was elsewhere, with Chris and David and the baby, and her distraction manifested itself in a serious inability to type without making mistakes.

"Hey, Lacey, why don't you get out of here?" asked a voice from the other side of her desk. Gentle but urgent. Probably sick of hearing her mutter under her breath and yank paper out of the typewriter.

For the duration of Chris's leave, Mary Beth had been partnered with a young detective from night shift named Marlowe. Jimmy was not yet 30 and grateful for the opportunity to learn from a more experienced colleague. But in true hot-dog fashion, he also jumped at every chance to get his feet wet by himself.

"Go look at that baby," he winked at her. "Save some trees."

"I- are you sure?" she asked, a little embarrassed to have him call her out like that. But he clearly meant well.

"Yeah. This is nothing I can't handle." He indicated the manila folders strewn all over their desks.

"Marlowe, you're a doll. Thanks."

"Any time," he sighed and swiveled halfway around to face his own typewriter.

Mary Beth was sure that as soon as she was out of there, Marlowe would be, too, maybe under a pretense to be checking facts with some witness or other. He was nothing if not creative.

She signed out at the board and went to grab her coat from the rack. Should she hurry home and get the stuffed bunny and little knit jacket she had picked up for Chris's baby a couple of weeks ago?

Mary Beth loved shopping for babies, but she had held off on making these particular purchases for the longest time, not wanting to jinx anything. She knew how nervous Chris had felt, especially during the first couple of months.

And she remembered the first time David had called her from the hospital. His trembling voice as he told her that Chris wouldn't be at work the next day because something was going on and she might have the baby more than two months too early.

Another call the next morning from Chris herself, letting her know that she was still pregnant and would be discharged that afternoon, but returning to work was out of the question. Could Mary Beth please clear out her desk?

It had been the strangest feeling, going through all the drawers in search of personal items that needed safekeeping, taking the framed picture of Charlie, Chris's pencil mug and the AA Big Book and putting everything into a cardboard box.

Of course, Mary Beth knew that Chris would be back. And this turn of events wasn't a total surprise, Chris had been on modified assignment already, riding a desk and actually fine with it, to her own consternation.

"I don't know. I guess I just feel safer than out on the street. God, listen to me," she had said one afternoon in the Jane. "I bet you it's the hormones."

Even so, as Mary Beth deposited the box in Chris's locker and shut the door, there had been a sense of finality. This chapter of their partnership was over.

After doing the math in her head, Mary Beth concluded that a roundtrip to Queens for the gifts would take much too long. She didn't want to get to the hospital too late in the day, Chris was probably tired.

On the way to the subway, she passed a florist, and because she felt that she ought to bring something to mark the occasion, she bought a small bouquet of yellow roses. In roses, yellow symbolized friendship, joy, and gladness. She had read that somewhere, maybe in a magazine at the hair salon that was responsible for the terrible perms of 1987/88.

As the train rumbled uptown, Mary Beth felt her excitement grow. She had last seen Chris on Saturday when she had stopped by for her weekly visit. In a reversal of roles from three-and-a-half years earlier, Mary Beth had kept her partner apprised of what was going on at the precinct, while Chris was relegated to the sidelines.

That Saturday, Chris had not only been extremely pregnant, but also extremely crabby.

"Do you realize that I'm looking at up to three more weeks of this?" she whined and dug the heels of her hands into her lower back. "To top the whole thing off, this kid hasn't gotten the memo that it's time to slow down in there. I feel like a punching bag."

Since the middle of August, Chris had been confined to David's and her new apartment and permitted only a limited range of activities in order to prevent another onset of preterm labor. Shaken by the whole experience, she stuck to the rules like a champ. But after weeks of having to take it very, very easy, her patience was nearing its end.

At least the restrictions had recently been lifted: It would not pose a problem were the baby to be born a little earlier than the due date, and so Chris had been cleared to do whatever she wanted short of weightlifting and rope skipping.

She relished this newfound freedom, not least because no matter what she tried, she could not get comfortable anymore sitting or lying down. "And even if I could, I'd have to get up to pee every ten minutes, anyway. I haven't gotten a good night's sleep since – I don't even remember," she groused.

Mary Beth could relate to Chris's foul mood. It was no fun being that pregnant. But as much as she complained, Mary Beth knew that underneath it all, Chris was relieved to have made it this far. 38 weeks, this was the home stretch – and the confusing mixture of impatience and nerves that came with it.

Chris was flitting around the apartment (as much as anybody could still flit in her condition), trying to do a million things at once, while Mary Beth watched her from the sofa, happy to be sitting down and drinking a well-deserved second cup of coffee.

"If I were you, I wouldn't worry about going over," she said. "You're nesting, my partner. Less than a week from now, he or she will be here. Mark my words."

"From your mouth to God's ears," Chris said laconically, looking first at Mary Beth and then down at her stomach. "And to yours, kid." Seconds later, her hand flew to the top of her belly near her ribcage. "Ow. Dammit." But she had said it with a smile.

And here she was now, three days later, about to mee the baby. Mary Beth loved that she had been right.

As she walked down the long white hallways, her mind was flooded with memories of all the things that had happened to them in hospitals.

She and Charlie Cagney, a couple of floors further down in this same hospital, waiting for news from Chris's emergency surgery after she had been shot on that damn rooftop. Chris coming to visit her at Sloan Kettering when she had her lumpectomy. The wild ride to Lexington General and their arrival just in time for Alice's birth. Receiving the news of Jonah Newman's tragic and untimely death in the emergency room of Columbia Presbyterian. Picking up a devastated Christine at Brooklyn General after Charlie had died.

It was nice to be able to add one more event to the 'happy news' column today. Chris's baby was easily the surprise of the decade, and Mary Beth couldn't wait to set eyes on the little girl and to hear all about how Chris had fared.

Finally, she reached the nurses' station on the maternity ward.

"I'm looking for Christine Cagney. Keeler, I mean. Christine Cagney Keeler," she said when the nurse behind the counter looked up from her paperwork.

Chris and David had finally gotten married in July, in a civil ceremony. It was much easier to just go ahead and do it before the baby came, Chris had explained. Because of custody and taxes. It would save them a whole lot of money and paperwork.

But Mary Beth was no fool. The way Chris and David had smiled at each other throughout the proceedings had betrayed the depth of their feelings. Chris had looked lovely in a simple green dress that didn't draw attention to her figure, but that wasn't tailored to hide it, either. The belly was just there. A fact of life, not a statement.

The nurse flipped through a stack of files and pulled one from near the top. "Room 715," she read. "Down that way." She pointed to the left.

The room was at the end of a short hallway. When she reached the door, Mary Beth stood still for a moment and listened. Silence.

She hoped Chris wasn't asleep. When she was just about to give a careful knock on the door, she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Mary Beth!" It was David. With a day's worth of stubble on his chin, wearing jeans and a rumpled sweater.

"David!" Without thinking about it, Mary Beth rushed towards him and enveloped him in a fierce hug. Then she pressed kisses to both of his cheeks for good measure. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you," he beamed. "Come on in." With that, he opened the door and motioned for Mary Beth to follow him.

"Look who I found in the hallway," she heard him say as she stepped into the room behind David.

The curtains were drawn, shutting out the bright early afternoon sun. And there was Chris, half reclined on the bed, with the baby curled up on her chest and tucked into her unbuttoned pajama top.

"Mary Beth," she rasped when she saw her partner.

"Hi Chris," Mary Beth said, already tearing up at the sight before her. "Oh, look at you."

Even though she had had three children of her own, she was always amazed by how tiny and perfect newborns were. This one wore a light pink onesie and a white hat. From the looks of it, she was asleep, her cheek resting on Chris's chest.

Chris smiled and ran her hand gently up and down the baby's back. "She just ate." Her voice sounded hoarse, and her face looked puffy and wan, but her eyes were shining. "I think we're getting the hang of it."

Mary Beth came closer and touched Chris's upper arm. "That's great. A little girl, huh?" she laughed through her tears. "Congratulations, Chris. I heard you did a tremendous job getting her here."

"Thank you," Chris sighed. "It was an experience. David took the brunt of it. Let him show you his arms."

From where he was standing at the foot of the bed, David smiled at Chris and shook his head no. "That was he least I could do. It was the most astonishing thing I have ever seen."

Mary Beth nodded, deeply moved. "It's something, isn't it? Suddenly there's this brand-new person …" She looked at Chris and the baby and then at her own hands, realizing that she was still clutching the small bouquet of roses. "Oh, here. These are for you. Your real gift is still at home, I came straight from work."

"Thank you," David said. "I'll go find a vase." He walked over, relieved Mary Beth of the flowers, and disappeared into the hallway.

"The flowers are beautiful," Chris said. "Thank you. And now come one, take a seat."

Mary Beth pulled up the chair that stood next to the bed and hung her coat over the back. Seated, she was at eye level with Chris and the baby. The little girl stirred in her sleep and moved her right hand up to her face.

"Oh God, Chris. She's precious."

Chris cupped the baby's head with one of her hands. "Yeah. She's a keeper. And she's lucky she's so cute. Otherwise, I might not be able to forgive her for trying to kill me last night."

"Tell me, how was it? Are you feeling okay?"

Chris snorted softly. "Like I got run over by a truck. I think all my internal organs have been rearranged. Not to mention – you know." She looked pointedly towards her lower body.

Mary Beth chuckled. "Yeah, that part's … not so great. But you're going to feel better in no time. Rest, and let David take care of you."

"Right in the middle of it, I thought I was going to die. I think I told David to put me out of my misery about two-hundred times. Or maybe I wanted to kill him? I don't remember."

"All of that's perfectly normal."

"He was a saint, Mary Beth."

"Well, you were doing all of the hard work, so he better be. And he's so happy."

"I know. I'm still a little shell-shocked, I think."

"It's a big change."

"I'm just so glad it's over. Getting shot was a picnic compared to this." Chris shook her head in amused disbelief.

"How long did it take?" Mary Beth wanted to know.

"About sixteen hours, start to finish," Chris said. "First baby. And little miss here had a hand up there with her face. I guess at least I can be sure she's mine. She likes to make things a lot more difficult for herself than they have to be."

Mary Beth could only imagine. "Ouch."

"Yup."

"Is it bad?" She inclined her head towards the foot of the bed.

"A couple of stitches," Chris said. "I bled pretty good, too. I think I scared them for a second there. But they got it under control. Now I'm mostly sore. And hey, what's another scar, right?" She eyed the raised pink tissue below her collarbone, where she had caught the bullet from that boy on the roof all those years ago.

"One more thing you survived."

"Yeah," Chris sighed. "We made it, didn't we?" she said to the baby in a low voice.

"Yes, you did," Mary Beth confirmed. "And everybody at the 14th says hi and congratulations. Most of all Isbecki."

Chris smiled. "Thank you. All of that feels so far away right now."

"That's how it's supposed to be."

"Any news from Ginger?"

"Still waiting. They've got two, three more weeks."

"Who would have thought, right? Isbecki and I, each with a kid." Chris shook her head.

Mary Beth was going to say something about how life was a miracle when a knock on the door interrupted her train of thought.

A young nurse poked her head into the room. "This is your reminder," she chirped, looking at Chris.

"Got it," Chris said, and the nurse closed the door again.

"Got what?"

Chris rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "I have to go to the bathroom. They are very strict about that around here. Every two hours. Do you want to hold her for a minute?"

"Of course. Give me a second." Mary Beth got up and washed her hands at the little basin in the corner of the room. Then they managed to transfer the baby from Chris's chest into Mary Beth's arms.

Chris buttoned her pajama top and winced as she sat up straighter in bed.

Looking up from where she had been making sure that she was supporting the baby's head correctly, Mary Beth threw her partner a sympathetic glance.

"Everything south of here feels like Jell-O," Chris grimaced and indicated an invisible line below her ribcage. "Laced with barbed wire."

Mary Beth nodded. She remembered the various aches and pains after childbirth, and how strange it felt to have your body back to yourself. "Have you been up yet?"

"Yeah. A couple of times. Don't worry. I just need to take it slow." Chris dangled her legs over the edge of the mattress for a moment, then got to her feet and walked across the room gingerly. "Let me tell you, I can't wait to get out of these adult diapers."

When she had disappeared into the en suite bathroom, Mary Beth returned her attention to the baby in the crook of her arm. The weight of her warm body brought back memories of the first days with her own babies. The little girl looked like a prize fighter with her swollen eyelids, flat nose, and a small red mark on her forehead. Michael had had a stork bite like that, too.

"Hi," Mary Beth said. She stroked her cheek with one of her fingers. And then, realizing that she was still missing one important piece of information, she cooed, "I don't even know your name. But I'm so pleased to meet you."

At that, the baby slowly opened first one and then both of her eyes. "Oh, are you awake? You heard that I'm not your mom, huh? Don't worry. She'll be right back. And until then, I'm going to keep you company."

The baby's eyes were dark gray, and as she gazed up at Mary Beth, she felt reminded of the first time Alice had really looked at her. So magical. Mary Beth studied the little girl's features. Her nose and mouth were definitely Chris's, what she liked to call her 'Irish mug'. But the eyes were David. And the combination was all her own.

Mary Beth traced the inside of the baby's left palm with her index finger, and she closed her tiny hand around it reflexively.

"Good job," Mary Beth whispered. "You just hold on. This life is a wild ride sometimes. But you've got so many people who love you and who are going to take good care of you."

Then the bathroom door opened, and Chris came out. "Are you two doing okay?"

"Chris, she's perfect," Mary Beth said, never taking her eyes off the baby.

"Thank you. Listen, while I was in there, I realized something. And you've got to excuse me for forgetting my manners, I haven't slept in 36 hours," Chris said lightly as she made her way back into bed. "But I never even introduced the two of you!"

"I was just saying that to your daughter."

Chris looked back and forth between Mary Beth and the baby as she spoke. "Well, Mary Beth, meet Ella. Ella Elizabeth Keeler." A large smile was tugging at the corners of Chris's mouth. "Ella, this is Mary Beth. The best friend and partner anybody could ask for."

"Oh," Mary Beth said, surprised and touched. "That's a beautiful name. And thank you."

"You know, Mary Beth, a wise woman once told me that every baby needs a good name to live up to. And I don't know where I would be without that woman."

Chris's smile was tearful as she gave Mary Beth a very pointed look, and Mary Beth could feel her own eyes welling up.

"Hi, Ella Elizabeth," she croaked, "happy birthday."

Ella yawned and made a little squawking noise.

"You want your mom, don't you?" Mary Beth said. "Yeah, let's go back to your mom."

Chris unbuttoned her top and together they settled the baby in as before. Ella closed her eyes and seemed to fall back asleep immediately.

"It's exhausting being born," Mary Beth said.

"Tell me about it." Chris stifled a yawn of her own.

"And they like to listen to your heartbeat."

"Yeah," Chris smiled. "Then she continued more quietly, "it's too bad Charlie can't be here. He would have loved that she has his hair."

"She does?" Mary Beth asked.

Chris nodded and carefully lifted Ella's little hat. A surprising amount of strawberry blond hair came into view.

"Oh, that's adorable."

Chris gently stroked her daughter's head. "Pride of the Fighting Irish. That's what Charlie used to say."

Mary Beth reached out and squeezed Chris's shoulder. "It's a damn shame. But with my mother – I like to imagine that wherever she is, she knows about the boys and Alice. The universe is a big place, so why not."

"That's a nice thought." Chris exhaled, visibly struggling to keep her composure. "Sometimes I think maybe all of it was meant to happen this way, you know? If Charlie hadn't-" she didn't finish the sentence, but that wasn't necessary. Mary Beth knew what she meant.

"Maybe you're right," Mary Beth said. "Charlie would be so proud of you, Chris."

Before they could discuss Charlie Cagney any further, the door opened again. This time, it was David who was back with the roses in a glass vase.

"You would think that they'd have more of these around," he said by way of explaining his long absence. But Mary Beth suspected that he had wanted to give Chris and her some time by themselves.

"You have a beautiful baby, David. With a beautiful name. I feel very honored."

He walked around the bed and placed the vase on the nightstand before taking a seat on the edge of the mattress. "Thank you. And it's our pleasure." David took Chris's hand and craned his neck for a look at his sleeping daughter.

"She's out like a light," Chris said.

A little while later, after she had said goodbye to Chris, David, and Ella, Mary Beth was walking down the hospital corridors. She felt lighter than she had in a long time.

Seeing Chris and the baby happy and healthy was proof to her that there was still good in the world. That sometimes, things did work out for the best.

Also, just as Mary Beth had expected, the Cagney Baby Quinella had not come up once. Who in their right mind cared about silly bets at a time like this?