Having seen her fantasy, Cary knew there was no way in hell he was going to be able to offer her the morning after pill and she take it.
He knew he had deeply hurt Kerry's feelings.
But, he also felt she missed him almost as much as he missed her despite him knowing she would rather eat shit and run wild rabbits before admitting that. He knew he had something to work with.
Cary was in his lab when Kerry came in to hit her punching bag.
He felt her approach and spruced himself up a bit by spritzing himself with Ralph Lauren Polo Red and checking his hair and taking off his blazer and adjusting himself in such away that his bulge was noticeable before she opened the door.
She did the same before coming in there putting her brightest red lipstick, letting her hair down and pulling up her pants in such a way that she had camel toe. Again same person.
"Kerry," Cary asked.
"What?" She replied curtly hitting the bag harder but making a point to be more feminine about it than usual because he was watching.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"I am all right," she said flatly.
"Aren't you going to ask me how I am?" He inquired hopefully.
"I don't care," she hunched.
She already knew. She felt him like he felt her.
"Please don't be like this," he pleaded.
"Be like what? You rejected me, remember?"
"I didn't reject you. I just didn't agree with you," he explained.
"Kinda the same thing."
"Listen. Just come have lunch with me in the commissary. We don't have to talk if you don't want to. I just want to be in your presence."
She blushed then agreed.
Walking in front of him, she made it a point to untie one of her boots before leaving out the lab so she would have to bend over to tie it in front of him.
She popped her butt out and slowly tied her shoes. She knew he would be enticed. She loved nothing more as of late than to get a literal rise out of him. It was clumsy but effective.
He shook his head and laughed to himself even though he enjoyed the view appreciated the effort.
He thought, She'll get better. She'll is her sexiest when she doesn't try. She'll figure it out. But, damn. She has a fantastic ass.
About an hour went by.
After a meal in nearly perfect silence, Cary asked the question, "How do I make you love me again?"
She said succinctly, "I never stopped, dum-dum."
To which he said, "I can't tell."
"That's cause you're a man. The stupid is implied. Adam remember?" She responded.
"I will give you that. I miss you."
"You miss getting your dick wet. Not me."
"I would be a liar if I pretended not to miss you in that way because I do. It's more than that though. I like spending time with you. And clearly you miss spending time with me. We never addressed what you said to me after the last time we were intimate."
"When I said I wasn't gonna walk right for a week? Feeling wobbly legged only lasted a few hours."
He blushed and said, "You know I am not talking about that."
"And we're not gonna."
He grabbed her hand. She didn't snatch it away immediately. He saw this as a good sign.
And looked her dead in the eyes and said, "I am so in love with you. Always have been. And I know we can overcome anything together. We have."
"It's you. Why are trying make it sound like it's me? Like I am the problem?"
"Nobody's the problem. We just have a problem. There's a difference."
"I am in love with you, too. But, at this moment, I don't like you worth a damn. You really hurt my feelings."
She snatched her hand and stormed off.
David had been watching with his eyes and spying on them with telepathically for awhile.
He found the Loudermilks fascinating. They were probably the only people that were as certifiable as him.
He realized something about them that no one else seemed to put together. They were a physical manifestation of multiple personality disorder.
However, David couldn't suss out which one was the dominate personality.
Did he make her up or did she make up him? His money was on Kerry being the primary.
After all she was female- the essence of a creator.
David said to Cary, "Dude, go after her."
Cary sighed heavily. Every fiber of his being wanted to turn around and punch David square in the face. Repeatedly.
Apart of him kind of detested David. A lot. He could see the scoundrel in him. He knew it was a matter of time before Haller showed his ass.
Then said without turning to face him.
"No. I am not. If she wanted to be around me. Guess what? She wouldn't've stormed off. She would feel violated. Like I would if you followed me."
Cary said walking away and leaving his plate there. Usually, he would have cleaned up after himself.
"Damn. That was cold," Ptonomy laughed at David.
"Eh. He still loves me. Come on. Everybody loves the Dave," he joked.
Clark overheard and said, "I could give a shit about the Dave."
"That's understandable," David said sheepishly.
Ptonomy half joking, kinda seriously said, "Since Kerry and Cary are fighting. Think I got a shot with her?"
"That's sounds like a good way to get your ass kicked," David said.
"I don't know. Kerry and I have a history. A flirtation if you will. She might go for it."
"I am talking about man Cary."
"Really? One time we ran out of Irish crème creamer and he literally cried like a baby for like thirty minutes. I am not afraid of him," he said.
"Maybe he really wanted that creamer.
But, knowing what I know about them, it was probably about something else.
They aren't the most open of books except for each other. Usually.
And you are aware whatever she can do, he can too and vice versa. But, to have their own identities they don't.
But, someone ever hurts Kerry or say murder her- he would make it his life's mission if he didn't die with her- to murder them and everyone they love and commit suicide by cop to be with her. He thought that the other day. So, basically, Wu Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with."
"I had some clue. I saw her cobble together a bomb once out like a paperclip, some Mountain Dew, a deck of cards and hope. I am exaggerating but not really. I thought it was just because she liked blowing shit up."
"The two of them are something else. Sometimes, I like to go into their minds-"
"Spy. Don't sugarcoat it," he said.
"Well, yeah if you insist. But, they are fascinating. They really are the same but not. It's weird. And I had a guy living inside me for thirty years. So, I know from weird."
"What the Shadow King did to you was rape. That's the only way to look at it. When people hear that word they think of sexual assault exclusively. Rape is when someone takes something from someone that don't want the other to have whether they realize it or not without their consent whether it's through inequity of power, or the person is under the influence or otherwise compromised."
David got real quiet and said in an almost whisper, "I don't like thinking about it in those terms."
"You should. Might make it easier to come to terms with it."
"I know one thing's for damn sure. It's clearly never happened to you," David got up and left.
Meanwhile, Cary sat in his lab feeling devastated and a little sorry for himself.
He had only ever had three real relationships- Kerry, Melanie and Sophia.
Sure, being a relatively attractive guy, he had dalliances with both women and men- a nut was a nut but nothing serious. Even though some of them wouldn't have minded.
Who wouldn't want to be connected to a wealthy, handsome man?
That said, the whole baby revelation and their subsequent separation, he couldn't help but think of his past relationships. All the things he did wrong. Those were the things he did not want to repeat with Kerry.
Cary had never felt quite this cut off from Kerry before.
Well, that's a lie.
It happened at least once before nearly four decades ago. Only difference was this time he cared. The first time not so much.
It was back in 1961. He had just turned twenty-one when he saw Sophia for the first time.
She was clearly a little older.
Had long, natural off black hair that was parted in the middle restrained by a purple and gold headband.
She had sweet, fresh face. Kinda like if actresses Dorothy Dandridge and Freddie Washington had a baby.
She was medium brown complected and was clearly mixed race at some point. She had light amber eyes with flecks of hazel in them.
Around her right eye there was a port wine birthmark encircling it. Made her look even more ethereal. Like a sexy Snoopy.
She was petite and curvy. In short, she mesmerized him.
He was looking at her so hard he walked into a pole.
This caught her attention.
She walked briskly towards him. She was too cool to run.
"Are you all right?" She asked.
Cary shook his head no. He wasn't bleeding but damn a knot formed right away and it hurt.
"What's your name?" She asked looking him dead in the eye.
Without thinking, he blurted, "Whatever you want it to be."
He stunned himself. He had never been that forward before.
She snorted then said smiling, "C.L. Short for Clumsy Lad."
Usually, he guessing his initials would made him suspicious. But, he liked her. So, he decided to see it as a coincidence. Remember it's only stalking when you don't like your pursuer. Otherwise, it's called courtship.
"Those are my initials. My name is Cary Loudermilk. What's yours?"
She already knew that.
"Sophia Demme but most everyone calls me Patches."
"That's insulting," he replied.
"It is what is," she said reaching to get his furthest flung book.
When she handed it to him, he could not help but notice the same discoloration on her hands that she had around her eye.
"It's called vascular birthmark. It's not contagious. If you're worried about that," she said averting her eyes now.
"I wouldn't care if it was," he said getting up and offering her his hand.
She accepted.
Feeling a little brave, he asked her, "Would you like to have coffee with me?"
"Sure. But, we might cause problems being seen together. People are hateful." This was still the early sixties. He was white and she was black.
"I know a safe place," he said referring to café his friend Oliver's father owned.
From that day forward, they were inseparable for years.
During this time, he had ejected Kerry so much that she actually started to grow. That's when she became a preteen.
Kerry naturally didn't like her. She saw her as a thief. Taking something from her that she secretly wanted but ultimately couldn't have with Cary.
While for Cary, she was the opposite. She replaced something he secretly wanted and couldn't have with Kerry.
As for Melanie, she had been a friend for years. They were introduced by Sophia who had in turn met the young Harvard med student at a sit in Greensboro.
"Nothing bonds two people more than having sugar, salt, raw egg and condiments heaped on top your head by pathetic bigots who think its okay to swive their sisters and daughters," Melanie said of her and Sophia's close friendship.
Serious yet somehow bright and bubbly, he thought the intensely thoughtful and intelligent and beautiful Melanie would be perfect for his best friend Oliver, who was a doctoral student and part time instructor of quantum physics when they met.
Sophia passed away about three months before Oliver got trapped in the astral plane.
The double tragedy caused them to mourn together and made them close in a way they hadn't been before.
One night after of crying and drink1ing led to one thing then another and they fell in bed together.
They carried on like this for over four years.
Neither was willing to admit they had fallen for the other- lest they betray the memory of respective significant others.
Yet another misfortune caused them to abruptly stop their relationship and Cary to leave for five years.
"I am terrible at this. What have I done? What if I have ruined everything with Kerry and I?"
He threw what he had been working on against the wall and began to weep.
During this time, David wiped away his own stray tears when he walked to the room he shared with Sydney.
He was surprised to see Kerry sitting on his bed and weeping profusely as she spoke to his girlfriend.
She was one of those tragic criers.
Noting the sympathetic look on Sydney's face. He did what she was incapable of and walked up to Kerry and hugged her.
She let him. She needed the comfort. She felt empty without Cary. And she was used to constant human contact.
Plus, she found David handsome and friendly when he wasn't being a dick. She really liked boys. How it felt to touch one. It was nice.
"It's all right, Ker-bear. Whatever it is," he said knowing what it was about. He read her mind about it earlier.
"Like you don't know. I felt you moving around in my head. I didn't mind. I wanted someone to know. Do you think I am wrong?" Kerry sniffled.
She told Sydney that she was upset but she didn't reveal why.
"No. Just tell him what you thought earlier. It was beautiful. A speech for the ages. If that doesn't touch him. Then he's icier than you. And being naked when you do probably won't hurt."
Kerry stomped his foot while Sydney threw a shoe at him.
"Trust me. If y'all knew what he was thinking earlier, then you'd know that's the way to go. When it got to be too personal, I backed out. He really, really finds you beautiful. You're all he can think about. That and how to subdue or kill me if I lose control."
"Oh, my God. What have you seen?" Kerry asked suddenly feeling the need to cover herself.
David turned beet red and said, "Stuff that would make Bob Guccione and Hugh Hefner blush."
"David," Sydney groaned.
Kerry hit him again then fled out of embarrassment.
"They are a sexy couple is all," David said nonchalantly.
"Like we used to be," Sydney lamented.
"Baby, we still are. We just need a little time to reconnect. Take a trip or something."
She ignored him and asked, "What could those two possibly be fighting about?"
"She hasn't told you?"
"Clearly."
"I don't know if I should. I don't want to violate their privacy."
"You just did. You told her you that you have seen them have sex in so many words. Spill it."
"A baby. She wants a baby."
"And he doesn't?"
"Not so much doesn't as he is afraid to. Apparently, he lost a baby. A newborn about twenty years ago. I peeked into his brain when I was in the chamber. I could not tell who the chick was."
"Had to be Melanie. She talked about losing a baby about twenty or so years ago. Granted, she was high as fuck when she shared that little tidbit but she also admitted her and Cary used to get it on but they stopped because it quit being fun and cathartic and became real. What's more real than a dead baby?"
They were both right. The two of them had in fact lost a child together.
They kept the pregnancy itself a secret because they had enemies and quite frankly neither knew how at the time a teenaged Kerry was going to take it.
Instead, they kept her distracted by sending her off to be mentored by her girl crush, Ororo Munroe and her partner who simply went by Logan.
The child they named Olivia Kerry Bird, lived a little more than a day.
She was perfect save one thing, her heart. No matter his best efforts, nothing he or anyone else thought of could keep her alive at that time.
It was the most horrible moment of his life.
He left Summerland for five years as a result. He never gave Kerry any reason why other than to say they needed a break.
During this time, his main concerns were growing a beard, taking obsessive care of Kerry to the point she ran away once just to breathe.
Trying to get Oliver back out of pure guilt. He had a macabre need to confess.
And lastly becoming a billionaire.
Running an operation like Summerland wasn't cheap. He still funneled money in it during his absence.
He had been wealthy off his inventions for years. Even Kerry didn't know to what extent. She just knew they had escaped the grinding poverty of their childhood and whenever she told Cary she wanted something she got it.
He knew how to keep a secret.
The next day came.
Evening more accurately, Kerry came to Cary who was in his lab. They hadn't touched each other merging or otherwise in like a week.
She could hold a grudge.
And he knew she liked being the one in control and that he was going to have to wait for her to approach him. He knew that was the only way, he wouldn't get any push back.
Even though, he felt her approach, he didn't turn around.
She tapped his shoulder.
"Hello, Kerry. How are you?" He asked pleased to be around her.
She thought, Missing that pretty face and that big dick.
But said, "Tired. You?"
He thought, Missing that beautiful face and that tight fit.
"Same, "he replied.
"Wanna merge with me?" She asked a little shyly and getting to the point.
He got up and jumped into her so quickly that he knocked her down so hard she slid.
"Damn, dude. You are not supposed to answer until the third ring," she said mocking his enthusiasm.
He replied internally, "I missed you so much."
"So. Oh, hell. I missed you, too. You flaming asshole," she said aloud.
In an affected voice, he replied, "Oh, sweetheart. I love you, too."
"Assclown," she laughed.
"I am your assclown," he said.
"Yeah. You are."
"You are everything to me. You are my life. You know that. Right?"
"Sometimes. Most times I know that.
I am hungry. What do you have a hankering for?"
"A tuna melt? And tomato soup. Maybe some lemon meringue pie. And definitely some quim. I don't know."
"Wow. You did not say that out loud."
"I did."
"Nasty little boy. Play your cards right. I admit. I do miss us naked," she said.
"It's incredible. Kerry?"
"Yes, Cary?"
"I love you. You are my whole reason."
Kerry smiled.
"You're my reason, too. I love you, too."
Soon, she ate a tuna melt and bowl of beanless chili instead of tomato soup. She hated tomato soup.
"Might as well eat hot ketchup," she said.
She also drank three cream sodas before taking a shower, masturbating with her new vibrator and going to bed.
After about four hours, she woke up.
After a dream about shirtless Cary serving her drinks on a private beach then well servicing her while the Mamas and the Papas played in the background, she woke up feeling hot and bothered.
She stripped nude and greased herself down and sprayed peony and tea rose perfume all over herself. She knew how much he liked the smell.
Her favorite smell was gunpowder mixed with blood with their mother's baked cornbread as a close second.
She looked at herself in the mirror. She was pale yet olive skinned. Her heart shaped lips were a deep shade of pink almost light brown.
Her arms and legs were muscular. The rest of her tight and curvy.
"That's a nice ass. Damn, I look good to me. I know you are awake in there, Cary," she said knowingly.
She had felt him regain consciousness as soon as she sprayed the perfume on.
He asked her flirtatiously, "Okra?"
"Try like raw oysters. Kind of smells like that, too. But less pungent. Orange-y, kind of like cooked onions."
He shivered. He felt her arousal.
She lied on the bed with her legs open and purred, "Come out. Come out. Come out. Come out. Come out!"
Upon seeing Kerry, Cary decided to join her in her naked glory albeit in a slapstick sort of way.
There was an Aiwa CD toolbox in the corner hooked up to a Sharper Image speaker.
He went to the CD tree and played Dream a Little Dream of Me. The one with Mama Cass warbling- acknowledging on the sly they had the same dream and he had been awake as long as she had.
Cary happened to have on suspenders and began dancing for her playing with them.
Taking his shirt off and throwing it at her but leaving the suspenders on. Goofily popping and locking. Despite this he was obviously skilled at it.
"You look like a nerdy fireman. Your abs have abs. Damn, you're hot," she said laughing that giggly laugh of hers that was all teeth.
As he took off one shoe and ran into wall before taking his first prat fall.
He liked making her laugh.
He unzipped his pants, he took another prat fall and got right back up.
"I love it when you do that," she said face red and cheeks sore from laughing.
He literally jumped out if his pants and onto her.
He leaned in to kiss her and she buried the back of her head into her pillow and asked, "Dude, what are you doing?"
"Trying to kiss you?" He asked puzzled.
She scoffed and said, "I don't like you like that right now."
Annoyed, he explained, "You want to make love because told me to come out and you're all out here in your naked, boiled okra- raw oyster glory. I made you laugh. I thought that meant you forgave me."
"No. Just no," she put her hand sideways on his palate, the space between his nose and lip and said, "I am mad at you from here up but from your mouth down, we are super cool. I am mad at you, not your tongue or cock. Those are the only redeeming qualities you have right now."
That said, she placed he hand on his forehead and began pushing him down where she wanted him.
Delighted on one hand that she saw him a sexual plaything and insulted on the other because she was being so impersonal and rude about it- he decided to do something a little mean. He was going make her come out of pure spite.
Her legs were open and bent at the knees. He forced them down sideways on the mattress hard. He wanted her wide open.
"Oww. Careful a-hole."
He rolled his eyes at her then preceded open her lips with his fingers fully exposing her hard, little clitoris.
He laid his tongue on it flat and moved it in circles while intermittently sucking on it.
"Oh, my damn, Cary. That feels so good. Oh, shit," she moaned clutching the sides of the bed and gyrating.
About ten minutes in, he stopped long enough to tell her to, "Look me in the eyes."
Usually, she looked everywhere but there during sex. It made her uncomfortable.
Kerry shook her head no.
So, then Cary politely got up.
"Where are you going?" She asked sounded more frustrated than angry.
Her hungry, achy honey pot really wanted attention.
Going towards the closet, he said, "I remember you brought up that fleshlight thing. The flashlight with the vagina on it. You were right. Masturbating is really good with that. Not as good as sex with you but its fairly close."
He had to let her know that she didn't have all the power in their relationship. Only most of it.
"Goddamnit. Fine. I will look you in the eyes, you big baby. Come over here and finish eating me out," she said whining.
He smirked before turning around.
Within moments, he was back at it. He used his free hand to play with her nipples while the hand held her open.
They were looking dead at each other. Making an already intimate situation more so.
The whole situation caused her feeling more sensitive down there than usual even though she hadn't finished yet.
She almost couldn't stand all the stimulation and he could feel that.
But, recognizing the sensation, he knew once he got her past the plateau phase, that her resulting orgasm was going to be a doozy.
Five minutes passed.
Kerry was panting and covered in cold sweat. She had honestly never felt anything like that before.
"I don't know what's happening," her voice quavered before going over.
She grabbed his hair and pulled it hard as she mewled.
He savored the pain of it.
She told him to stop.
And he did.
"I change my mind. Keep going. Suck on it," she said still holding his head in place.
After a minute or two, she rose her hips off the bed and her body contorted like she was trying to escape. All the while, his mouth never relented.
He gave her earthquakes with his tongue until he felt she was done and stopped.
She fell back onto the mattress.
Cary sat on his feet and smugly observed her.
He reached over her and grabbed some mouthwash and some babywipes.
He swished his mouth out and wiped his face. She didn't like smelling or tasting herself afterwards.
She still hadn't said anything. She returned his stare somewhat bashfully.
So, he got back on top of her and asked, "May I have that kiss now?"
She nodded.
They went on like that for nearly half an hour. Just tasting each other's lips and touching. And looking at one another.
"I really like your face," Kerry said before biting his top lip and then kissing his nose.
His skin crawled with goosebumps when she touched him.
He kissed her hand and began to weep.
"Are you okay?" Kerry asked not understanding why that statement would make him so emotional.
"Yes and no. On one hand, I have never been better. On the other hand. I had resigned myself to being alone. I am old and people automatically associate old with ugly whether it is true or not. It's not fair. Life's not.
But, when you- the other me kissed me. I didn't feel so old anymore. You're the thing I didn't know I was missing.
And I don't know. I am happy. Like actually happy."
She agreed.
"I am happy, too. I love you, Cary," she cooed.
"I love you, too. And you know how I am going to show you?"
"How?"
He whispered in her ear, "By fucking your brains out."
She squealed hearing him swear.
She just couldn't get used to it.
He began to buss her neck as he reached into the drawer for a condom.
When Kerry saw this, she frowned and said, "I like it better without it. We never talked about it but it was amaaaazing the other day. It was like Christmas, Forth of July and our birthday but in between my legs. Only thing that felt better than that is what you did a few seconds ago. Your tongue il so agile. I think it's one of your mutant powers."
After blushing, Cary sighed, "Kerry. We talked about this."
"We didn't talk about shit. You laid down the law. That was adorable by the way," she said before biting his chin.
"Kerry, we should be careful. I just think a kid's a bad idea."
He had no desire to tell her why he felt the way he did.
"I don't want a baby per se. I don't. But, if it happens. It happens."
He rolled from on top of her and folded his arms.
"You remember when you looked twelve and we were living in New York after Mom died and you wanted a puppy?"
"Yeah. So?"
"Remember what happened to it?" He asked derisively.
Recalling, she became angry.
"Oh, fuck you. You could have remembered to feed to it, too. I would never do that to a child. Our child. You think that low of me? I would love the fucking shit out of the kid. You asshole," she got out of bed.
"Kerry, come back. I am sorry. I just don't want to be a dad. Why do you want to be a mom? I have never even seen you hold a baby."
Kerry screamed.
"You are so stupid to be so smart. Want to know why I want a baby?"
Cary nodded.
"I want you, dumbass. Not a baby. A baby is away to keep you alive."
He looked puzzled but didn't say a word. He feared what he to say just might make her throw a knife at him.
Kerry continued talking.
"Day's gonna come when I will be stuck here sans you. That'll be it.
And what will I have of you? Your gadgets? I don't give a flying fuck about science. Your clothes? My memories? Both of those fade.
And pictures? I hate them. I feel like they are lies. Everything in a photo is opposite of reality. Whatever the hell that is.
You will just be gone. And I can't stand for that."
"Kerry, this is morbid even for you. You make it sound as if I am going to die at any moment."
"But, you could. So could I. You are going to leave me here all alone. You're at least thirty-five years older. You're hot and in shape for well any age and that may buy us a little time but you're going first probably. A baby is a way to keep you around even after you abandon me. That's why I have no problem with the idea of it. I wasn't aware I wanted one until that Mi-go monk. I am glad I caught that virus. Glad," she was emphatic.
"If something happened to you and there was a child or children, it wouldn't be a comfort to me. He or she or them would be a reminder of what I lost. I don't think it would be a comfort for you either."
"This may come to you as a shock but I am not you. I am not. I am my own person."
Feeling more angry with Kerry than ever, he asked, "Are you?"
"What the hell does that even mean? Who says you're not me? I am older."
He got up and stood in front of her. Still as hard as a diamond left in the snow.
"This is going too far. Look, I love you."
"No, you don't. I just poured my heart out to you and you simply don't care. You are only regrouping now because you want some pussy."
"Of course, I do. Look at you. Who wouldn't want that from you?
Sex with you is transcendent. Christmas and the Fourth. I couldn't have described it better myself.
It's like nothing I have ever felt before. It's more intimate than when we merge together. I think it's due precisely to the fact that another soul or souls could emerge from the act.
However, with that said, you're wrong.
All I do is care! My every decision since I was eighteen has been about your welfare. The only time I thought of myself was with Sophie and Melanie. And that turned out horribly both times.
I love you. And to quote Glenn Campbell, I need you more than want you and I want you for all time. End quote. Just not a child."
Kerry felt desperate and scared.
Every since the two of them became romantic everything seemed more urgent.
She just simply didn't want to face down life without her partner. Her literal other half.
She stayed calm despite of the avalanche of emotions that wanted to rumble out of her.
She took a deep breath. She turned her back to him and said, "Old man, I love you more than I do the fight. That day with the monk, I wanted to stay in here with you. We are literally one."
He put his arms around her waist from behind and agreed, "Yeah. We are."
"Just like you used your horny to make things, I guess I used mine to battle. I still like it. I used to think there was nothing more rewarding than murdering some punk motherfucker that had it coming. Then I discovered that one thing is- the moment you kissed me back."
"Our life changed the moment you kissed me. I regret not making the first move. You were always braver than me."
"I am not. We both are. I know taking on my wounds isn't easy for you. You carry my scars. You even got my bullet wound scar. All of those things and more make you so, so beautiful to me. That and that ass. You could bounce a penny off that thing get back two silver dollars."
They both shared a laugh. She turned to face him.
Cary tried to kiss her but she pressed her finger against his lips.
She had to finish speaking.
"A baby," she continued, "wouldn't just be a baby but a symbolic representation of me and you intertwined. A me and you that can't be divided. I think I could cope if I had a girl or boy child with your smile that I could fall back on," she began to openly weep.
He felt like a lout for real now.
Why didn't that occur to me? He thought.
"I didn't put the pieces together like I should have," he said hugging her now.
"You're too busy thinking like a dude to do that."
"I am honored and floored you think that much of me."
"I told you no self depreciation shit. Only I can talk bad about you. Shithead," she smiled through her tears.
She broke free from his embrace and turned her back from him again.
She was unable to look at him. Being so vulnerable almost felt shameful.
"Look at me," he said.
"Uh-uh. Nope. Not going to do it," she said.
"Please?" Asked a plaintive Cary.
She took a deep breath and obliged him.
"All I have ever wanted to do was make you happy. And if a child would do that for you then I am game. Let's make a. . . baby."
"For real? Cause I didn't even know I wanted this until the other day. I really want you to think about it," she said
"There is nothing to think about. I will be dead someday. And leaving you alone is not an option."
"You can't leave me. Not ever. You just can't. I love you so much," she hadn't ceased weeping.
He began to kiss her tears away.
"I know how empty and scared I was when you were shot. I don't want you feel that. I will stay alive for you and the future baby. What'll do you think it will look like."
"You, I hope.
And I think you are wrong. You'd be a good dad.
Bar the past month, I am proof of that. You took really good care of me when I was a girl. I just really believe you deserve a child. I can't lose you. You can't just go away. Please don't go away," she placed her arms around him and pressed her naked flesh against his.
She boohooed into his chest. Snotty nose and all.
He embraced her tenderly.
Every fiber of his being wanted to tell her no.
But, he knew that no had the potential to make her hate him forever. Make her shun him. He couldn't abide it. Life without her would kill him just as sure as a bullet in the brain.
Fuuuck, he thought. I am about to take one for the team.
About an hour went by.
Twenty minutes into sex , he was like six good minutes away from finishing when he felt an overwhelming panic in his chest.
I can't do this. I can't got through this again, he thought.
Meanwhile, Kerry was able to feel his panic.
She began telling him, "Everything is okay. I got you. I love you."
She wrapped legs around his waist to well, hold him down and began digging her nails into his back.
Able to feel what he felt as well as her own sensations, she knew he was into this. He pumped harder and faster.
He likes a little pain, Kerry thought as she began to take her nails up and down his back leaving a blood dotted trail of raised flesh with every pass.
Going with it, she lifted her head up and began nibble at his earlobe.
This was something she knew he liked but she pulled on it a little to get reaction out of him.
She thought if she turned him on enough that maybe he would come too quickly to change his mind.
Kerry was delighted when he pressed his mouth against ear.
This was usually signaled Cary was about to whisper a whole gamut of filthy little nothings in her ear before they would finish.
Instead, she heard this, "I think you were right. Maybe we should give this some more thought. Let me just me pull out for a second and get a condom."
"No. You said there was nothing to think about. So, why are you?"
"It's my thing like kicking ass is yours. Let me up."
"No, you said you wanted to do this with me. You can't just take it back."
"My love, come on. You're panicking. That's why you want a baby. Besides, earlier when you told me to stop. I stopped. Return the favor."
She punched him in his face before releasing him.
Judging by her expression not to mention that left hook to his chin, he knew sexy fun time was over.
"Kerry-"
"I hate you," she growled pulling the cover up.
Feeling the sting of those words like little knives driving into his heart, he said tearfully, "Let me explain to you the reason why I am not keen on babies. I-"
"I don't give a fuck. You could have explained yourself when I did. Instead you lead me on. I thought, I thought we were trying to make a baby just now and you renege. You did the definition of the word. You pulled out. You are being so mean to me. I don't like it."
"Being mean to you how? I just think you are being rash. Let's enjoy each other in this capacity for awhile. Kerry, you don't have to always go from zero to a hundred."
"It's the only way I know I how to be."
Then he said the one thing no man in his right mind that wants to put his penis any where his woman says, "You're the logical one. The strategic one. The realistic one of the two of us. This is not like you. This is irrational."
Her left eye literally twitched.
Then she did something that should send men running during an argument- she laughed mirthlessly.
She got out of bed. Pushing past him in the process. She gathered his strewn clothes off the floor.
Kerry went to the door and opened it.
Still butt naked herself, she stepped outside the door to throw his clothes as far as she could down the corridor.
"Get out. Get the fuck out!" She screeched.
"Kerry! Come on. Let's talk about this."
"Old man, you have talked the fuck enough. I poured my soul out to you and this how treat and speak to me? Me? Get out."
She got behind him and pushed him towards the door.
Normally, her could resist her but when her ardor was up- there was nothing he could with her.
She successfully kicked him out the door. Actually using her foot to do it.
"FUCKING ASSHOLE!" She slammed the door several times before leaving it closed.
Ha was humiliated and just as angry as Kerry but he was able to contain it.
Since it was late, only people in the halls weren't people at all but the Vermilion. They were nonplussed by his nudity.
Except Vermilion number three. Her stare lingered for a few seconds.
Sydney heard the commotion and stuck her head out.
He was still half staff as he struggled to stuff himself into his pants so he wouldn't caught in the zipper.
Damn. Looks like a baby arm holding an apple, she thought before closing the door quickly.
Cary put his shirt on but didn't button it. He did not have the patience. He went looking for his shoes but Kerry had only thrown out one.
He left it where it lay.
He drug ass to his office and attacked a bottle of a bottle of Glenlivet he had been gifted by Clark after he helped his son build a rocket for a science project.
Meanwhile, Sydney knocked on the door to check on her friend.
Kerry was crouched in a corner. Still very much nude and bawling her doe eyes out.
Sydney lightly knocked.
"It's me, Kay. May I come in?" Sydney asked.
Kerry got up and let her in.
"Wow. You are very naked," Sydney remarked.
Kerry scoffed, "I don't have anything you don't see when you look in the mirror. But, since you want to be a prude about it."
Kerry grabbed her robe and put in on.
"I heard you screaming. What happened?"
"Him. He is not the same since we started, you know, " she sounded very child like even using hands to demonstrate. The international symbol of putting your finger through a hole.
For whatever reason, that nettled Sydney.
"We are all grown here. If you are sexually active you should be able to say the term."
"Damn, Doctor Bitchy- pants. Okay. Fine. Since we started fucking, he has not been the same."
"I think that's all men. Is he more dismissive or what?"
"Not at first. He still isn't usually. He's more attentive which I didn't think was possible."
"You're his new, hot source for orgasms now. He's gonna pay you more attention." Even though Sydney had came to her. She was not in a good mood.
Kerry simply did not care.
She liked having someone who wasn't Cary to talk to.
"I initiated it. From our first kiss to our first fuck. All of it. Except the dates. Dating was his idea. I wanted to get straight to the point."
Then a thought occurred to Sydney, "David and I haven't ever been on a real date. We have been together on the astral plane. Sure but never in a restaurant. Unless, I count Clockworks. Where did you guys go?"
"You're not missing out on much. Though, I do admit there were some parts I liked. Just being around him in general. Making out in a movie theatre. In the backseat. Seeing him be loose. Animated. It's nice. Anytime that shithead smiles I melt.
I really love him. I really do. He's going to die on me."
She began to lament again. So hard she was shaking.
"I am sorry, Kerry. I wish I could hug and tell you it's going to work out."
"How? He'll be in heaven and I'll be stuck here. It's cold and it's dark out here. Even when the sun is shining and it's hot out. Nobody truly gives a damn about anything other than their own self interest. That's why we got the Ten Commandments telling us how to treat each other. We're assholes. Stupid, shit throwing assholes. Cary's an asshole for getting old. I'm one because I didn't.
I am selfish and he's not. He's sweet by nature, I am not. He's lying to me by omission. I don't lie. Period. He's emotional. I am impassive except when I am not.
I am offered to make him immortal and he passed."
"You want a baby?"
She nodded.
"And he doesn't?"
"Why are you stating the obvious? Duh," she paused and asked in a low voice,
"Is because of me, you think? He just doesn't want a baby with me? What's wrong with me? I am good enough to screw but not impregnate?"
"Why are you so obsessed with him dying?"
"Men leave. That's what they do. And good things never last things never last that long. Never. This is best thing that has ever happened to me. So, naturally, it's going end horribly."
"Damn, and people call me bleak and antisocial. He's alive right now. Judging by how loud you two get-"
"We're not that loud. Besides, he made that whole sound dampener thing."
"It only works sometimes. I think he wants to hear. Anyway.
Like I was saying, judging by how he makes you scream when touches you, he's very much alive. You have him now, Kerry. You can't go around being scared of something that hasn't happened yet.
And maybe he has a point. Why are you such a hurry to have a kid? Just enjoy each other."
"You don't get it," Kerry said frustratedy.
Sydney replied combatively, "No. You don't get it. You can actually touch him. He can touch you. You get to feel the weight of him when he is inside you. You can kiss him. He can hold you. I can't do any of that with David in the real world. Technically, we've never touched. You're lucky. Act like it. Go to your man," Sydney then got the hell out of there.
She can't recall a time since the night she switched bodies with her mother and seducing her boyfriend ever feeling jealousy so acutely.
She swallowed it and collapsed in angry tears in the hallway. Mere steps from her room.
David heard her and came out.
"Baby, are you okay?" He asked.
Sarcastically, she replied, "Yes, David. Okay people have been known to cry like babies in the hall because everything's fine. No. I am not okay."
"What's wrong?"
"Everything. Nothing. I just wanna go to bed."
As she got up, she got sight of Kerry leaving her room. She had changed into one of his dress shirts. It was huge on her.
She was barefoot and clutching something in her hand.
Cary felt her and ended up meeting her half way.
They collided when they saw each other. Kissing like it was the only way to stop the bomb from detonating.
Kerry wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. In the process revealing her pert bare behind.
David's eyes got wide and weird little smile quirked his lips.
That's a nice ass. Not as nice as Sydney's but close. Dude is so lucky, Davidthought.
They made it to their bedroom barely able to contain the passion they possessed for each other.
He ripped the buttoned shirt open. She shimmied off the remains as he pushed her against the wall, knocking down and breaking the sound dampener in the process. He was more aggressive because the scotch.
Kerry didn't mind because she liked this side of him.
She put the condom in his hand and went for his fly.
He looked at it then at her. He threw it over his shoulder and said huskily, "I have decided not to be afraid anymore. I will tell everything afterwards. In the meantime, let' s make a baby."