Hey guys,

This is the fourth chapter!

I hope you will like it, please read and review!

Just to explain a warning:

/!\ PANIC ATTACKS IN THIS CHAPTER (The panic attack and how it is dealt with is inspired by what works for mine)

Bye guys

Guillo

When we heard Vernon, John ran to our table to make it look like we weren't doing anything wrong. Even going as far as to help me hide my book and notebook.

Not long after, when the noises stopped, he handed me my book back before winking at me and standing up, running to the doors.

"You know, there's not supposed to be any monkey business." Reminded Brian.

For only response, John turned and said: "Young man, have you finished your paper?" imitating Vernon.

He then tried to make the door close.

"C'mon Bender, don't screw around!" exclaimed the jock.

"What are you gonna do?" asked Princess in a panicked tone.

"Drop dead, I hope" commented Sporto.

What a horrible thing to hope.

I didn't want to speak up, I didn't want John to look at me differently… But I am getting worried. Please John don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't…

Brian tried again to stop John. "Bonder, that's… that's school property there, you know… It doesn't belong to us. It's something not to be toyed with."

His comment was useless, because seconds after he finished speaking, Bender took the screw and ran back to his place. He handed me the screw.

"Hide it well." He said before kissing my head.

I stayed frozen and red for a few moments, then I put the screw between my tits. Why did he do that? Why? Do I remind him of someone? Did he want to make fun of me? I don't understand. I don't like not understanding something.

He went to sit beside me and tried to act as cool as possible while I was still trying to keep my breath under control.

"That's very funny. Come on, fix it!" Sporto said.

In. Stop yelling.

"You really should fix that!" Brian chimed it.

Out. Stop yelling.

"Am I a genius?" questioned the criminal sarcastically.

In. My arm is itching

"No, you're an asshole." spat the jock.

Out. Stop yelling.

"What a funny guy!" He answered with a weird voice.

In. Stop it.

"Fix the door, Bender!"

Out. Fucking stop it.

"Everyone, just shhh!" instructed Bender. "I've been there before; I know what I'm doing!" he added.

In. My arm hurts now.

"No! Fix the door! Get up there and fix it!" the jock persisted.

My arm is completely red now…

Before anybody could add anything, Vernon entered the library with a furious look on his face. Bender took my notebook and put it quickly under the table. I felt lost without my notebook, but I couldn't help but be relieved because I knew that Vernon would take it in a heartbeat.

"Why is that door closed?"

I jumped at the sound of his voice. Nobody answered him, so he repeated his question and John decided to respond.

"How're we supposed to know. We're not supposed to move right?"

"Why?!" he was turned to Princess and I was almost sure she was going to throw us under the bus.

"We were sitting here, like we were supposed to."

I looked at her in astonishment.

He glared at John before turning to the nerd. "Who closed that door?"

"I think a screw fell out of it."

"It just closed, sir." added Sporto.

Vernon turned to the girl at the back of the room. Huh, I forgot about her.

"Who?"

The only answer he got was a squeal before the girl knocked her head on the table.

"She doesn't talk, sir." John told the vice principal.

"Give me that screw." Vernon ordered to the criminal.

"I don't have it." he replied simply.

"You want me to yank you out of that seat and shake it out of you?" Dick threatened.

"Screw fall out all the time... The world's an imperfect place..."

"Give it to me Bender." spat Rich.

"Excuse me, sir, why would anyone want to steal a screw?" asked the princess.

"Watch it, young lady…" threatened Vernon.

While Princess glared at John, the vice principal went to the door and took a chair so the door would stay open.

"The door is way too heavy sir." commented John.

Vernon ignored him and placed the chair before letting go of the door. Once the door made contact with the chair, it didn't stand and the door closed anyway, leaving Vernon in the hall. I smiled while the other snickered as he re-entered the room.

"Andrew Clark" Andrew? I finally get a name for him! "Get up here. Come on, front and center, let's go." he ordered the jock who reluctantly gets up to join the vice principal.

"Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up?" John asked. "If he gets up, we'll all get up!" he added as he made lots of gestures with his arms, nearly hitting me in the process. "It'll be anarchy!"

The two of them tried to move the magazine rack to the door to keep it open. By doing so, it was blocking all the space to pass through.

"That's very clever sir, but what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir."

Hilariously, Vernon agreed with John and ordered Andrew to get the magazine rack back in its original place while blaming Sporto for his failure.

Vernon looked at John. "You're not fooling anybody, Bender. The next screw that falls out is going to be you." he exclaimed.

"Eat my shorts." muttered Bender and I froze.

This is going to end badly. I moved my leg slightly so my feet would touch his as a silent warning. He didn't answer. Did he feel it? Maybe he didn't? Maybe he doesn't care?

"What was that?" Vernon questioned, turning back to Bender.

Oh no.

"Eat. My. Shorts." he said, louder and clearer.

"You just bought yourself another Saturday, mister." the vice principal said sharply.

"Oh, I'm crushed." the criminal retorted with mock disappointment.

"You just bought one more right there."

"Well, I'm free the Saturday after that! Beyond that, I'll have to check my calendar!"

"Good! Because it's gonna be filled! We'll keep going! You want another one?"

I grabbed John's arm beneath the table in fear, anger, and concern. Bender hesitated a bit and Vernon went on. "Say the word, just say the word! Instead of going to prison, you'll come here! Are you through?"

The criminal looked at me before turning back to the vice principal. "No."

"I'm doing society a favor!"

"So?"

"That's another one, right now! I've got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step! You want another one?"

"Yes!"

"You got it! You got another on, right there! That's another one, pal!"

"John, stop it!" I exclaimed looking at him, pleading him with my eyes.

He turned to me for a second but returned his attention to Rich once he started talking to him again. "You through?"

"Not even close, bud!"

"Good, you got one more, right there!"

"Do you really think I give a shit?"

"Another. You through?"

"How many is that?" Bender suddenly asked. Is that a joke or was he serious? It was like he was actually counting on those detentions. What is going on here?

Brian spoke up and I had to bite my lower lip to not make myself scream at him to shut up. "That's seven, including the one where we first came in and you asked Mr. Vernon here whether Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet."

"Now it's eight." he said before turning to the brain. "You stay out of it!"

"Excuse me sir, it's seven." insisted my friend.

"Shut up, pee-wee!" yelled Vernon and I clenched my fist to stop myself from screaming at him before he returned to John. "You're mine, Bender, for two months! I gotcha!"

"What can I say? I'm thrilled!" Bender said sarcastically.

"Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what you two want these people to believe." Rich stated smugly. "You know something, Bender? You ought to spend a little more time trying to do something with yourself and a little less time trying to impress people, you might be better off." he continued. "And you Dubois" I raised my head in surprise to be addressed to. "You should be careful about who you choose to surround yourself with. I'm not sure your father would be very impressed right now."

"I'm not so sure." I whispered quietly but not quietly enough.

Vernon glared and got closer to me, staring at me right in the eyes and I felt myself shrink.

"Don't make dares you can't keep Dubois; how could your father be impressed with you? I was there when he came to fetch you Friday, remember? You're a disappointment for him and we both know it. "

I couldn't breathe. In, out… Please get out. Get out. Please. My arm itches. Look at the table.

"Alright! That's it! I'm going to be right outside those doors. The next time I have to come in here... I'm cracking skulls!"

John mouthed Vernon's speech behind his back. Dick finally left and Bender screamed "FUCK YOU!" as loud as he could once the door was closed. I flinched at the loudness.

I grabbed my notebook and rushed towards one of the isles. I sat behind one the rays of books, took out the screw out of my bra, threw it away and tried to breathe.

My arm itches.

Scratch.

My dad.

Disappointed

Nothing more than a disappointment

Too fat

In

Too ugly

Not clever enough

Lazy

Disgusting

Out

Scratch

No

Hurts

Itches

"What's going on?"

I don't know who.

"Je… I can't"

"Ok, slow down."

No

"Breathe with me. Slowly, in."

In

"Out"

Out

"Leave your arm alone."

I feel him take my hand

"Yes, that's it. Calm. Everything is fine."

In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out…

"You are with me, you are safe. You are in the school library. You are safe"

I finally felt my shoulders relax a little, my arm was red and was stinging. I sighed. I scratched my skin off again…

I raised my head, my cheeks filled with tears… I jerked back when I saw who calmed me down.

"Andrew?"

"Yes, it's me. Are you okay now? Can you get up?" he asked gently.

"Not now…" I answered weakly.

"Ok, take your time, it's okay." He added and I released a shaky breath while wiping my cheeks.

"How did you calm me down?"

"My mother used to have panic attacks a few years ago. She was mugged. She was fine physically but she was anxious for a long time after that." I nodded once. "And you Blondie? Why do you have those attacks?" he asked as an afterthought

"Thank you for your help Andrew." I said quickly to avoid answering ,but I smiled sincerely at him.

"It's Andy for you… And no worries." He told me smiling, I smiled back and he frowned "I'm sorry for what I said back there, I didn't mean it." I nodded once and my smile widened. "If you ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me."

"Sure."

With that, he got up, grabbed a book, which I'm sure was the reason he came here for and left, smiling at me.

I looked around and picked up my notebook. Taking my pen out of my boot, I began to write.

Maybe some people are able to change. Or maybe some people are more than they want others to see, more than anyone ever bargain them for. I saw another side of the athlete. Maybe there are others?

With that, I breathed deeply one last time before going back to my sit where Brian looked at me, concerned. I smiled back at him. He doesn't know about my panic attacks. He will never know if I have anything to say about it.

I turned and saw that my neighbor was staring at me with a raised eyebrow. I blushed and took my book out, again.

I hope you liked it

Love you guys

Guillo