As he stared into my hazel green eyes, I could see his soul and I knew he meant the words. He wasn't just saying them. I smiled at him and gently pressed my lips to his. He instinctively pulled my body closer towards his as he gently caressed my face. His hands were rubbing my spine as we kissed. The kisses were soft at first, passionately escalating as he ran his fingers through my long, curly brunette hair. He took my hand and placed it onto his hips as he began pushing my hooded jacket from my shoulders revealing a lace top cami top. He broke our kiss and quickly began sliding the cami's straps from my shoulders. He began kissing my shoulder blades, throat, and chest, which was still covered by my bra. He moaned as he pulled my hips towards his and I could feel the tightness in his body. He unzipped his jeans and placed my hand onto his throbbing penis as he began kissing me passionately. I felt his tongue pushing its way into my mouth as he ran his finger nails into my back firmly but gently. My tongue met his as we kissed. Suddenly he pulled away. I looked at him oddly. 'Did I do something wrong?' He ran his hand through his hair and looked frustrated.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked him nervously adjusting my half pulled down top and exposed bra.

He must have sensed the fear in my voice. His eyes shot up at me. "No, you didn't do anything wrong. It's me. It's my fault. I'm sorry Aub." He picked my discarded hoodie from the floor and handed it to me as he zipped his pants.

I was confused about what had happened. I could feel myself getting upset. I put on my hoodie feeling like I would burst into tears at any moment. At this point, Adam and I had been together for about 3 months. I pinched the bridge of my nose and avoided his eyes. He looked frustrated.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you. Did I pinch you... or something...? I'm sorry if I did. I'm not sure exactly what to do in certain situations..." I mumbled.

His eyes shot towards me. "I'm not upset with you. I'm upset with myself." He took a deep breath. "Aub, when we first got together, you told me you were a virgin. I know sex isn't just sex to you. Sex means something very important to you. I promised you that I'd never pressure you to do anything that you didn't want to do or push too fast!"

I looked at him. I was completely confused.

He noted my look. "I am mad at myself for grabbing your hand and doing that to you. I'm disgusted with myself for being like that!"

"You don't want me to touch you?" I asked feeling tears in my throat as I spoke.

He shook his head. He couldn't explain himself and he was getting frustrated with himself. He ran his hands angrily through his hair. He could see that I was on the verge of tears. He grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"I'm making a mess of this!" He said in frustration. "Aubs, I love you. I'm so in love with you. Yes, I want you to touch me. I want to make passionate love to you and I want all of it. I just don't want to put you into a position you're not ready for; that's why I'm mad at myself. I should not be pawing at you and making you touch me. I'm sorry. I hope you can overlook this because I'm not just trying to get into your pants. I'm not going to rush you into anything."

As he spoke, I felt as if I could burst into tears at any moment. He was in love with me.

I felt myself begin to cry. He was in love with me. My heart was beating a thousand beats per second it felt like. He looked at me and instantly looked like he was going to cry.

"Aubree. Shit! Please don't cry! I'm not good with words and explaining things! I'm a fuck up! Please don't cry!" He pleaded grabbing my hand tightly.

I shook my head. "It's not that." I cried looking into his eyes as I blinked away my tears. "Adam," I started as I cupped his face with my hands. He looked defeated and wounded. "I'm in love with you too." I said kissing him softly. "No one has ever told me that they're in love with me. I'm crying because I'm happy, not because I'm hurt by what you said." I said softly as a smile at him. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist. He rested his head on my chest as I felt his body relax. I took a deep breath and contemplated things. I slowly shifted my body from sitting next to him on my couch to sitting in his lap. He looked at me questioningly as I slid my jacket off of my shoulders and slowly pulled my cami off. He looked at me as I slowly pulled his shirt off. I ran my hands across his abs as I looked at him. I reached for his hands and placed them onto the black lace of my bra.

"Aub," he started.

I kissed his throat and ran my hand through his wavy hair. I could feel his heart racing. His fingers traced the trim of the bra slowly. His touch gave me goosebumps. I reached my hands to behind my back as I unhooked my bra. My hair rested on my shoulders as we maintained eye contact. I pushed the bra off and sat in his lap completely topless. I placed his hands onto each breast. Based on my sitting position, I knew I had his full attention. I hesitated for a moment. I'm a virgin but not completely sheltered to not understand how to have sex. The anxiety of not knowing anything from personal experience made me extremely self-conscious. I didn't want to be bad or have Adam look at me differently afterwards.

"Aub, are you ok?" He asked softly. "We don't have to do this tonight. I don't want you to feel pressured into something until you're ready." He spoke softly still touching my breasts.

I can feel the anxiety rising and the tears brewing. I feel stupid now. I grasp the bridge of my nose. It's not that I don't want this or him. Rather, I don't know how to be a seductress. I feel stupid for my actions now completely. As I sit on his lap crying, I feel like an immature and stupid child. How can I even be acting like a sexy and sultry woman with an eye swollen shut and a bruised puffy multicolored face? He pulls me close to him with a strong hug. Our bare chests seem to fuse together.

"It's ok. Please don't cry. Let's just go to sleep. We have an early flight tomorrow morning."

"I want you!" I sob. "I just don't know what to do so it'll be good and I'm afraid I won't be any good and disappoint you!" I cry. "I've been afraid to let you be close to me because I know you have experience. I don't want to embarrass myself!"

His face is surprised. "Are you sure this is what you want?" He asks as he holds both sides of my neck, staring deep into my eyes.

I sniffle and nod my head. I am just making this go from bad to worse. I'll be lucky if he doesn't run for the hills as soon as possible. He smiles and kisses me.

"You could never be bad or disappoint me! I'm in love with you, Aubree Moore."

He moves in a swift motion picking me up and carries me into the bedroom. He carefully sets me onto my back. He begins kissing me and trailing kisses from my mouth to my hips. He stops, locks his eyes on me and softly asks once more if I'm sure. I nod my head as he slowly unbuttons my jeans and slowly slides them off. He trails kisses up my body as he positions himself in between my legs. His lips nuzzle my neck as I feel my heart beating like crazy.

"Give me a minute." He says between kisses.

I watch as he heads towards his duffle. I hear the crinkling of a cellophane wrapper. He stands at the foot of the bed and strips out of his jeans and boxers. He crawls across the bed and is laying on top of me. His eyes catch mine and he smiles. "I love you." He whispers as he kisses my neck. I'm terrified. I've heard the first time is extremely painful. My heart is racing. My anxiety is zooming. He must sense my panic.

"Aub, calm down. Take a breath. I'll be as gentle as possible. If you want me to stop, just say it. Okay?"

I nod my head nervously. He kisses me as he intertwines our fingers. He puts on the condom and positions himself kneeling on the bed, facing me.

Our eyes connect as he slowly and gently pushes himself into me. I gasp in pain as he instantly stops dead in his action.

"I'm fine." I say softly as he kisses me. I wrap my arm around his neck as he kisses me still holding my hand in his. I wrapped my legs around his waist pulling his body close to mine.

A few hours later, I awoke to find that we both had passed out wrapped in each other's arms. My head was resting on his chest. My movement startled him awake. He stared at me sleepily and smiled.

"Hey..."

"Hey..." I replied softly.

"Are you ok?" He asks me again. I smiled and nodded.

Adam was so sweet. He didn't make me feel weird or uncomfortable. True to his promise, he'd been overly careful and gentle. I felt bad for my lack of experience causing our first time together to be so awkward. I doubt Adam enjoyed it much. He frequently stopped during to ask if I was ok or if I wanted him to stop. I didn't want to think about Adam sleeping with other women, but I was willing to bet that they had experience and he could let loose, be hard and rough with them without being so cautious. I sighed as I looked into his eyes.

"Aubs?" He questioned sitting up and brushing my hair from my shoulder.

I was covered with the sheet as I sat staring at him. "I'm sorry."

He looked confused. "Sorry? What are you talking about?"

I took a deep breath. I knew being completely honest about your feelings is the only way to have a successful relationship. My parents long term marriage had taught me that. "I know that earlier isn't how you expected our first time together to be and I'm sorry if it wasn't up to expectations." I said lowering my eyes from his.

He grabbed my hand and nudged my chin so our eyes connected. "Babe, I know you feel self-conscious about this because it was your first time and you think I feel like it was bad, or just not good. Don't worry about if it was up to some expectation, you think I had going into it. I was extra careful because I knew it was your first time. I didn't want to hurt you! Yes, in the past the women I slept with weren't virgins so I wasn't as concerned about hurting them; BUT a major reason I kept stopping last night is because I care about you and wanted to make sure you were ok. Girls from my past to be dead honest, I didn't know them enough to really care about them." He ran his hands through his hair and stared at me. "Yes, I've had sex with women who I hardly knew and up until you, I didn't realize that sex was more than a physical act."

I looked at him. His words confused me. What exactly was he trying to say?

"Last night was the best night of my life! I fell in love with you long before we ever added sex into our relationship. I haven't had any relationship like ours. You're my best friend and now we're connected on a completely other level. For you, having sex is a completely loving act that only people in committed relationships experience together. Up until you, I'd have sex with girls I just met as 'something to do' and I'd never see them again."

He looked sad as he spoke. "Please just know that regardless of experience levels, expectations, and feelings of inadequacy... last night was the most passionate experience I've ever had and it's because it was with you, who I am truly in love with and wouldn't change a single thing about you in any way shape or form."

I smiled. He's words made me blush. I nuzzled his nose with mine as I shifted onto his lap, letting the sheet fall. I leaned down to kiss him and gently bit his lower lip. I adjusted myself on him as I smiled. "Practice makes perfect right?" He smiled as he placed his hands on my hips and rolled us both other in one swift motion.

"Absolutely, practice always makes perfect." He laughed as he jumped from the bed and grabbed his duffel bag. He was quickly back at the foot of the bed. He jumped into the bed and pulled the blanket over us. I laughed as he jumped towards me.