The Unknown
I fly east in to the night
Leaving behind all that was right
Trapped in a blue and yellow cage
And all I feel is rage
I was coming quite undone
And the darkness almost won
But then when she appeared
That rage
That fear
All but disappeared.
When I walk in to English class the next day this poem is what is showing on the screen at the front of the class. We had all submitted our poems to Mr. Britain the day before. He had said he would choose the best poem and display it in front of the class with no name. And that it would be up to the poem's author to decide if they wanted to reveal themselves.
Once everyone was seated Mr Britain asked everyone to read the poem carefully. We all
did, and then Mr. Britain asked:
"Would the poem's author like to step forward?"
Nobody moved.
But instantly after reading the poem I knew who the author was and he was sitting right beside me. And wait a minute, is he blushing? Oh my goodness! The site of Ivar Ragnarsson blushing and literally trying to shrink in to his chair was absolutely adorable. But I also suddenly felt so much sympathy for him. He was obviously really uncomfortable with this. He was hiding in his seat but trying not to be obvious about it. Otherwise everyone in class would know it was his poem.
Without thinking I reached out and placed my hand on Ivar's thigh right above his knee and gently squeezed trying to reassure him that I knew and that it was ok. All the while I kept my eyes front so as not to make him feel even more exposed by staring at him. But, as I was trying to lift my hand away slowly he placed his hand on top of mine and laced his fingers through mine squeezing gently. I squeezed him back and tentatively looked over. He was still hiding his face in his arm but his eyes flicked over to me and I could tell he was saying "thank you".
While still holding on to Ivar's hand I reread his poem. It was beautiful. And the one word that stood out: she. I was trying to think of who that "she" could be, trying to deny what I knew to be true.
Had Ivar meant me?
No, it couldn't be, he barely knew me, when he wrote this poem we had just met..But in my heart, I just knew, I actually felt tears prick behind me eyes and sucked in a little breath to stop myself from actually crying. Instead I squeezed Ivar's hand again.
He was directly looking at me now, still holding my hand but he was studying my face. Does he see the realization on my face? I'm not sure because the moment is so intense that we both look away.
Mr. Britain's voice startled us back to reality and we dropped our hands like we had been caught. And instantly I missed his touch.
To Ivar's relief, Mr. Britain moved on from praising his poem to another lesson on poetic structure.
I don't know how I made it through the rest of the class without reaching for Ivar again.
And at the end of the class I was so sad to have to leave him.
We were the last to leave the class even after Mr. Britain, I was walking out first when Ivar grabbed my pinky with his finger. And turned me to look at him standing just inside the doorway. With his other hand he tucked a stray hair behind my ear and said
"Thank you, I don't think I would have survived that without your help."
I was looking down now as I was so overwhelmed I didn't know what to say or how to react. I finally looked up at him and said
"Your poem was beautiful." He was looking a little embarrassed again and looked down with a little grin.
"I had a beautiful muse."
He then let go of my pinky and gently placed his hand on my back guiding me out the door.
He looks at his watch and curses "Dammit, I have a meeting with the guidance counsellor
in 2 minutes".
I walk in to hall and say "It's ok, go!" I'll see you later?"
"Most definitely" he grinned and the sexy fucker winked at me again before walking towards the office.
While sitting in 5th period watching a video about single celled organisms, my phone buzzed. It was a text from Ivar:
Come for a ride with me tonight?
My heart literally swelled in my chest and my girly bits tingled out of control. I tried really hard not to squeal. Of course I answered:
Sounds like fun!
He replied instantly:
Perfect, I'll pick you up at 7pm?
I gave him my address and replied:
I'll be ready. :)
He was so cute to make sure I knew to dress properly with denim and boots and that he had a helmet for me.
I think I skipped the whole way home I was so excited. My mom asked if I was ok when I immediately ran up stairs to shower and wash my hair.
When I was dressed I came down and my mom was standing at the bottom of the stairs
"Where are you going tonight?"
"I have a date!" I couldn't help but smile and blush as I said it.
"A date, oh really, with whom?"
"With Ivar, the new student from Norway."
Her eyebrows raised, she was teasing now, "Ooh, I think I need to meet this Ivar before I allow you to go out with him".
"Moooooom, c'mon!"
I heard the sound of the motorcycle pull up outside. And to my surprise the doorbell rang shortly after. My mom rushed to get the door before I could stop her, opened the door wide and said: "Why Hello, you must be Ivar, please come in". My mom stepped away from the door and there was Ivar looking tall, dark and handsome in his dark leather and denim.
Embarrassed by my mom, I stepped closer and said "Hey". Ivar smiled and said "Hey".
My mom closes the door and says "So, Ivar, where will you be going tonight?"
"Hello Mrs. Clarke, it's a pleasure to meet you." He reaches out his hand, and my mother looks impressed and accepts the handshake.
"I was planning to take Sarah for a ride on my Motorcycle tonight, if that's all right with you?"
My mom looks slightly concerned, but she's pretty cool about these things. "Well I suppose that's all right as long as you are safe".
"Of course ma'am." Ivar replies.
He is so cute when he's being polite. My mom is eating it up.
"Well then, you kids have a good time, don't be out too late. And be careful please".
"We Will" we say unison. And both laugh.
"Bye Mom".
Ivar gestures for me to exit before him and he closes the door. Once outside he appraises my outfit, looking me up and down.
"Are you checking for safety compliance?" I ask with a smirk.
"Of course" he grins while taking a another long look up and down.
"Did I pass inspection?"
"With flying colours."
Smart ass.
Ivar hands me the extra helmet and helps me get it strapped on properly. He taps my helmet gently and says:
"You ready?"
Oh hell yes I am ready.
"Ready!"