Abbey watched the familiar helicopter touchdown on the Barlet farm paddock.
Images of Jed disembarking from the iconic aircraft filled Abbey's memory. It had only been three weeks since the assassination. Friends and family checked in daily, asking her how she was doing. How could she describe the horror of seeing her husband's death played out on national television? Who could possibly understand that? Jed had been her intellectual sparring partner, sometime adversary, muse, night in shining armor, lover, father of her children, a beloved grandfather… her husband. The country had a piece of Jed Bartlet, collectively mourning their president. Who else knew what it was to mourn the man?
This last week, Abbey didn't even know how she made it out of bed. When she first arrived in Manchester, the girls and grandchildren were with her. Through her shock, top of mind were three daughters, who had suddenly and violently lost their father. There were grandchildren, coming to terms with never seeing their grandfather again. Counselors had made their services available to them. So far, Zoe and Liz's oldest daughter had chosen to work with therapists. Abbey couldn't reconcile it for herself. Who had ever been trained to help the First Widow, wife of a recently assassinated president. In the space of ten minutes, Abbey felt rage, overwhelming sadness and confusion. The country wanted her to be the brave widow, akin to Jackie Kennedy. Inside, she wanted to say, no way. She was too pissed off, and she wanted everyone to know. But, publicly, she had shown grace, not her inner rage. She played that part in front of the cameras, for Jed, for her family. But, at home, this was a different story. Once the family had gone home, Abbey seriously considered whether it might be better if she never got out of bed again. Then, she thought of Leo and summoned the strength to call Mallory.
The only person on this earth who might possibly have some inkling of what she was feeling, who didn't need her to guide him through grief, to whom she could possibly communicate a lifetime of connection lost - without saying a word - was Leo McGarry. And, the possibility she could lose him as collateral damage to the assassin's bullet was very real. Leo's resolve was likely not any stronger than hers. Somewhere deep inside, she heard Jed's plea not to let this happen to his friend, whom he'd loved so much.
The famous Sikorsky aircraft often carried the Marine One designation. For the Bartlet administration, Marine One, and its decoy fleet, would fly Jed and Abbey for a quick weekend to their beloved New Hampshire enclave. Air Force One was on deck when staff accompanied, landing either in Portsmouth at Pease Air Force Base or preferably, Manchester Airport. However, for the quick weekend trips, the Marines had accommodated with style.
Abbey had spoken to Mallory and later to Leo. He sounded uncharacteristically lost. Leo was the one who always knew what to do. She plowed ahead and asked him to come to New Hampshire, finish recuperating at the farm and help her make decisions. He seemed to consider it a moment. Concerned he might see through her offer, Abbey reiterated that she needed help.
Flat on his back in the hospital and fully medicated, Leo was a bit more compliant than usual. Or, perhaps, his usual tendency to be five steps ahead of everyone was dulled by morphine, pain and grief.
After their talk, Abbey considered Leo might devote himself to Jed's memory, as he had to Jed himself. But, even that thought was overwhelming. Right now, it was one minute at a time, and they needed to get Leo reliably on his feet. There were many things Abbey knew she'd need to do for Jed in the coming years. Commitments, a library, and other obligations she would need to negotiate. Looking out for Leo was not negotiatble.
Abbey was touched when she heard about the arrangements to bring Leo to the farm. The helicopter now carried the designation, Executive One, Normally, the designation was only used for the sitting president's family. However, Leo McGarry had done everything but take the assassin's bullet himself. If Jed had a brother, it was certainly Leo. Although Jed was no longer the sitting president, public opinion would certainly favor President Bob Russell for taking care of Abbey in the short term. Accommodating Leo's need for secure, comfortable transportation as he was transferred to New Hampshire to continue his convalescence would be seen as a classy gesture.
Authorizing the helicopter had been Russell's call, but the 'Executive One' call sign came from the Secret Service. Head Secret Service Agent, Ron Butterfield, had solemnly requested it as a sign of respect for Leo - his quiet acknowledgement of a brotherhood and all it had done for the country. The agency had quickly accommodated.
As the stairs were deployed, Abbey spied Mallory at the helicopter doorway, the young woman hesitating, obviously waiting to help her father. A uniformed Marine made his way to the bottom of the stairs. As Leo slowly made his way toward the doorway, the pilots turned and saluted him, and Abbey saw the familiar dip of Leo's head, the one she witnessed when her friend was particularly touched or even embarrassed. He nodded his acknowledgement and quickly saluted them in return. As he made his way down the stairs, Mallory tightly holding his arm, Leo was greeted with a salute from the Marine at the bottom of the stairs.
"Colonel McGarry," the Marine recalled Leo's retired Air Force rank. "On behalf of the Marine One Team and the United States Marines, we would like to thank you for your service. You, sir, are an example to the Core and us all"
The marine handed Leo something Abbey couldn't see. She would later discover it was a challenge coin, with Marine One embossed on it.
"Feel better, Sir" the young man continued.
Those Marines, the Former First Lady mused with affection.
As Abbey approached and took Leo's hand, she could see the tears forming at the corners of his eyes. He dipped his head, in an effort to disguise them.
"Be safe, Corporal. Thank you," Leo quietly acknowledged and slowly turned from the helicopter, looking up at the farm. Abbey wondered if he didn't trust himself to look directly at her. But, he kissed her on the cheek and hugged her tightly for a moment.
This would be Leo's last official travel under the presidential umbrella. Russell was just paranoid enough to want his own chief of staff, as he sorted out which staffers could be loyal to him after a Bartlet administration. The news had come as Leo laid in his hospital bed, and Abbey imagined Leo had mixed feelings. His loyalty to Jed was well documented, but his loyalty to Josh, CJ, Sam and Toby was felt daily by them. Still, she reasoned it would likely be too much for Leo to recover with the mantle of a Barlet-less White House on his shoulders.
Finally, he favored her with one of his lop-sided grins.
"Hey Abby," Leo squeezed her hand, as they began walking toward the house. He knew better than to ask her how she was, and Abbey was grateful. She had grown to hate the question.
The wind was at least calmer, as they made their way across the path the farm staff had cut in the snow and sanded. February in New Hampshire could be unforgiving, but the protocol for a winter Marine One visit was well known by the farm supervisor.
"I see you have quite the lady on your arm, McGarry," Abbey replied, nodding her head toward Mallory. With her beautiful mop of red hair and drop dead smile, Leo's daughter could always stop traffic. Abbey smiled as she walked with the McGarry clan up to the farm house. A month ago, these circumstances were unthinkable
Mallory moved in, putting her arm around the older woman. "MIssed you, Abbey," She then chuckled, "You're going to have your hands full with Mister 'I'm Fine' here."
Leo winced, and Abbey wasn't sure if it was due to his daughter's comment, or if he had moved badly.
"How are you, Flyboy?"
Abbey couldn't tell if Leo hadn't heard or was just ignoring the question.
They carefully made their way up the porch steps, Abbey continued, "I heard you were driving the nurses crazy. They all wanted to give you a sponge bath…"
Leo chuckled. But, instead of a well placed come back, he just rolled his eyes.
Okay, he just failed test one.
After the short walk from the paddock and up the farmhouse porch stairs, Leo was out of breath.
Tanked on test two.
As they entered the house, Leo's phone rang, and he made no move to pick it up. Mallory looked at him with a question in her eye, but he shook his head.
Epic fail on test three.
Coats put away, Abbey noted at least Leo wasn't dressed in one of his ever present suits. A flannel shirt and pair of corduroys, clearly curated by his daughter, replaced his normal buttoned down attire. He likely didn't have much of a choice. Mallory had likely packed for him, and they'd left directly from the hospital. But, Abbey noticed Leo hadn't shaved in several days either.
"Leo, you've had a long trip. Come over here and sit down," Abbey instructed, knowing what needed to happen.
Heaving himself into a chair, Leo closed his eyes briefly. Abbey took advantage of the moment to grab her medical bag next to the couch.
Spying the bag as Abbey took his pulse, Leo sighed, "Here we go…"
"Get used to it," Abbey replied, as she checked again to confirm her suspicions. "Your pulse is racing. I need to get a blood pressure."
Leo looked her in the eye, as if to confirm she was truly serious. He then shook his head. "First time I've been out of pajamas in weeks, and we're doing this?"
"Dad…" Mallory inserted herself into the conversation. "The faster you do this, the quicker it will be over."
Abbey got started unbuttoning his flannel shirt, and quickly Leo took over. "Women are running my life..."
Pushing his t-shirt sleeve up, Abbey put the blood pressure cuff on Leo's arm. The first measure was telling, and she reached to measure pressure on his other arm to confirm.
"Through the roof..." Abbey finally settled back on the couch staring at him. There were a number of reasons why this could be the case. The excitement of the trip, air travel… but, Abbey had a sneaking suspicion, remembering Leo's wince earlier.
"How's your pain?" She asked matter-of-factly, knowing it was a loaded question for him.
Leo glanced at his daughter, who took on the same matter of fact expression. Abbey smiled inwardly. Mallory knew how to handle her father. He rolled his eyes and stared at the floor a moment.
"It's there…" He replied quietly.
"How bad, Leo?" Abbey pressed.
He was probably afraid of taking something, afraid of courting addiction again. Clearly, Leo made a decision to try to grit his teeth and muscle through, not taking his prescribed medications on the trip north. Judging by his pulse and blood pressure, it hadn't worked out very well for him.
Leo took a breath and finally sighed in apparent defeat. The brightness of his eyes had betrayed him, the pain becoming more evident as the moments passed.
"It's bad," he said simply.
Abbey kneeled down next to his chair, squeezing his hand and looking into his eyes. "You can't do this without pain medication, Leo."
He moved to protest, but Abbey persisted,"I'll supervise it, and I won't let you take too much."
"Mallory, bring me my bag," Abbey continued, holding his gaze. She saw the uncertainty, as he mulled over the ramifications.
Pushing his sleeve up, Abbey rubbed his bicep with alcohol. "This will get your cycle of pain under control, and then we'll get back to your regular pain meds." Injecting his arm with morphine, she continued, "It will also put you to sleep for awhile."
Leo finally relented, a hint of relief marking his expression.
It was a bit soon for the shot to kick in. But, it occurred to Abbey, for the moment, her friend was trusting her to help him walk a thin line.
Feeling more like herself than she had in weeks, Abbey watched Mallory lead her father up the stairs to his guest room. Getting up, she straightened up and reorganized her medical bag. Leo's flannel shirt had been quickly cast onto one of the hassocks, Carefully, she picked it up and brought it over to the couch. Sitting down, she slowly folded it.
Finally, she sighed, looking toward the ceiling.
"We can't change what happened, Jed," Abbey said to the empty room, rubbing the fabric of Leo's shirt.
"Hell, I'd give anything to change what happened…"
"But, I promise you, we won't lose him too."