Unscheduled Delays

We had arrived at Shimamura's house without a hitch. I was somewhat nervous to intrude on her family, but going with the flow instead of fighting the current was just my way of doing things. I never really was a delinquent, I just followed the path of least resistance. Sometimes that meant running away, like when I used to skip school, other times it would lead to me being dragged along, like I was now.

Going with Shimamura had seemed like the best choice. But what followed made me consider retreating…

"Adachi?"

She was definitely talking to me. Unless there happened to be some hidden Adachis close by.

The woman that greeted us at the door was looking at me like she had been ambushed. I could tell that it was Shimamura's mother just by her eyes and her cheekbones. They looked extremely similar, except for the length of their hair and some signs of aging. I also noted that she was wearing pants and slippers. Compared to how dressed up Shimamura was today it just left a profound gap in my perception.

"What?"

Shimamura was giving her mother a confused look. That raised brow and the flat tone of her voice really gave me the impression that she was comfortable showing her emotions around her. It was quite different to when she talked to me.

"I get it! You couldn't get enough of me, so you went to play with my daughter as well. Is just any Shimamura fine with you?!"

Mrs. Shimamura closed in on me and started making confusing statements. I felt so awkward that I pressed my arms against my body and turned nearly block-shaped. She stopped right before my face, so I desperately looked at my feet. Too close.

"That make-up is quite impressive. All of that for Hougetsu?"

"What are you talking about mom? How do you know Adachi?"

Finally Shimamura intervened and pushed her mother away from me with one arm. Although I got the distinct impression that it took her far more effort than she expected, because she was turning slightly red from exertion.

"Hmm. Hm hm hm."

It seemed like the woman was now considering something, because she cupped her chin dubiously and squinted her eyes. Then she flicked her fingers as if coming to a realization.

"You aren't her."

"Aren't who?"

Shimamura seemed to get annoyed from being ignored.

"I have to say, you are the spitting image of her, though. Just missing a few dozen wrinkles here and there. I really thought you'd found some lotion that makes you look twenty years younger!"

She laughed loudly and then pushed down her daughter's head casually, because she had been trying to get her attention forcefully.

"I'm… sorry?"

I pushed out some words with a lot more effort than it should have taken.

"I know a certain Adachi from my gym who could be your mother. Actually, let's ask her."

She pulled up her phone and dialed a number. Then she walked into the hallway while waiting for the call to connect.

"Are you serious?"

Shimamura complained, but seemed to have given up on intervening at this point. She took my arm and pulled me aside. We stepped into the entrance and she slipped out of her shoes. Their hallway seemed clean and orderly. As confusing as her mother appeared, she seemed to be quite good at housework. Compared to this sight, my apartment was a real mess. I was reflecting on it. Really.

I noted that there were four pairs of outdoor shoes in the open. A family of four…

"I am sorry about her."

She nodded towards her mother and gave me an apologetic look.

"N-no, it's just… misunderstanding…"

I muttered weakly while trying to calm down. There was of course the anxiety of being in a foreign home, but even more than that I felt a lump in my stomach ever since my mother was brought up. It couldn't be that the woman Mrs. Shimamura talked about was really her, right?

"Ah, I just remembered that my room is a mess."

This airheaded exclamation finally snapped me out of my brooding thoughts. Shimamura was looking a bit troubled. I hadn't seen her that way before. Today I got a lot of firsts from her. She seemed to be wrestling with herself internally, before finally pressing her hands together apologetically.

"Adachi, could you wait down here for a bit? I am just going to fix a few things. I'll get you real soon, promise."

"Sure."

I could hardly refuse when I was already imposing on her family. It striked me as odd that Shimamura was the type to care about how people saw her room. Why is that? I honestly didn't know her well enough to make claims like that. If it had been my home, I would have probably locked my door and never let her inside. Imagining Shimamura thinking of me as sloppy really rubbed me the wrong way. It was so unlike me to put weight on every detail like that, to care about my actions to that extent.

The approval I sook was intangible and meaningless. I knew that. But my heart still contracted when I thought of failing her somehow.

"It's me."

"I knew that from seeing your number. And what kind of greeting is that?"

Just a couple of meters away Shimamura's mother had connected her call. The person on the other end was barely audible. I couldn't make out her voice clearly, but that tone was painfully familiar. A cold shower went down my back.

"You never told me you had a daughter!"

"…what?"

"Keeping things like that from your best friend is no good."

"We aren't best friends. What kind of nonsense has brought this topic on?"

"Acting prickly-shy again, I see. Your daughter just walked into my home with my own, that's why. She looks so much like you, I actually mixed you up."

She laughed unperturbed by the cold attitude of her friend.

"My daughter is at your place?"

"So you do have one."

Their exchange was uncoordinated and their personalities clashed far too much, but in a weird way they seemed to get along. I had never heard her talk that way. She was always unrestrained, but when she spoke to me she was only curt, one-note and didn't make a connection. I never once understood what she really felt or meant and neither did she understand me.

That really was my mother.

"I don't know what that girl is doing. It's none of my business."

That's the conclusion she came to. That cold line encapsulated our relationship perfectly. Mrs. Shimamura made a complex face for a moment while glancing at me from the corner of her eyes. Then she put on a half-smile and ended the call with this:

"Next time you will have to tell me everything. No excuses!"

"Why should I-"

Mother's final words were cut off and never reached this side of the speaker. She was probably glaring at her phone right now, wherever she was.

My face must have turned rigid. I could feel it. I was looking at the shoe-rack while my mind was hit by a wave of cold. It was a hot summer day, but my body was freezing. How easily emotions could be smothered by an unfortunate coincidence. The joy, embarrassment and intrigue I had felt on this day were all swept away by that winter breeze inside my heart. An avalanche of regret had covered it all whole.

I heard footsteps, but I didn't know if I could really look at Shimamura right now. I was only moments away from sprinting out of the house.

"So you are Hougetsu's friend."

The one who had approached me was Shimamura's mother. She put one hand on her hip and gave me a neutral expression. Something about her seemed different. The initial wild range of emotions and tones she had displayed was mostly replaced by a sympathetic solid core. I was not good at reading people's feelings or thoughts, I could hardly tell apart whether they were angry or sad, glad or disinterested. But right now I felt like I may have seen a glimpse of the real her.

"Uhm…"

Hougetsu. Who was this Hougetsu? That was an unusual name. Considering my options, there was only one conclusion. It was Shimamura's given name. It was odd, but somehow I thought it was nice. I may have liked it even.

"That one doesn't make a lot of friends. She has become a real shut-in lately, you know? I am not sure where you two met, but I am glad she's got such a polite and tolerant friend with her now."

Those were the words a mother would say. That's how it should be, I knew that. Finding happiness in your children's growth was part of being a parent. Should have been. My initial impression of her was clearly off, she really did care a lot more than she let on. The way she had ignored Shimamura and handled her may have given the impression of a dysfunctional relationship, but it was the exact opposite. I could tell how close they were.

"You are the first friend she has brought over since elementary school. And I can't even remember the last time she cleaned her room. What a troublesome girl!"

Now she was just going into complaints, but even those felt somewhat warm. I could feel a light sting inside my chest.

"Sorry for the intrusion."

I lightly bowed my head. It was all I could really do to respond to her openness.

"My, my, how polite and demure. I suppose you are going to stay for dinner?"

"I-if you would have me."

"No problem. We got more ingredients than we could have ever used anyway. I actually prepared enough for Hougetsu as well, even if she ran off to eat some stranger's cooking. I am just too kind! Enjoy yourselves~"

She waved it off with a smirk and left towards the right end of the hallway. I suspected that was where the kitchen was located. The way she just said what she felt like and then went to her next goal was very free-spirited.

This kind of person was friends with my mother? I just couldn't process it at all.

While I was left waiting at the entrance I let other thoughts wash over me. So I was the first friend she had brought home in roughly ten years? It was giving me a strange sense of satisfaction. How inappropriate could my feelings be? Sure, it may have been a privilege in a way, but was that alone a reason to be happy? I don`t think I could even call myself her 'friend' yet. We were strangers who happened to come here, because of coincidences.

But would a stranger really invite me into her home? Would a stranger give me the time of day? Shimamura was really kind in my opinion. It made no sense that she had no close friends if she was this social and sparkling. It wasn't me who was tolerant of her, Shimamura was the one who acted kind towards me even when I had made a huge blunder today. No stranger and none of my acquaintances would be this nice to me. I was certain of it.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

Speak of Shimamura, she was finally back and waiting at the feet of the stairs. She must have finally finished her preparations. When I turned towards her, the first thing that caught my eyes were her shoulders. She had dropped the silky vest and was now showing her slender shoulders to me. Wait, showing them to me? That's wrong. She was just dropping some stuffy clothes, why did it have to be for me?

I blushed a little and avoided eye-contact. I was awfully self-conscious today.

"My room is upstairs, so let's go. I have to warn you though, it's really hot up there."

I had noticed a small glimmer of sweat on her face after all. That was probably why she dropped the vest. The heat didn't bother me much, I actually already felt way hotter under my skin.

We ascended the stairs and reached a door that led into a side-room. In most houses this would have been considered a storage at best. When Shimamura opened it I could immediately feel a wave of heat escape the place. Looking inside, there was a stream of sunlight coming through the windows above and inside it one could see the layer of dust floating in the air.

It was a small room. So small that not even a bed fit inside without blocking most of the walking space. Where did she sleep? There might have been a futon in the closet. In fact I could see a few things peek out from the badly shut closet door. Maybe it was my imagination, but I could swear that I saw the hem of a kotatsu shoved in there as well. A kotatsu in late summer? Her mother's words were at the back of my mind. So she really did clean this place up that rarely.

"Please sit wherever you want. Sorry, I know it's really cramped in here."

She pushed a seat cushion my way and then adjusted the knee-high table. Her back was pressed against the leg of a desk she had shoved into the corner of the room. Really, where did she sleep?

"My bedroom is the same way."

I said quietly and sat down at the table. What I meant was the same size anyway. But I only really slept in that small room, there was still the living room for me to actually spend most of my time inside. Not that I ever had anything to do.

"Really?"

"My apartment is small."

That suited me just fine, though. A bigger place would have been a waste of space and money. I already didn't have that much furniture, so it was mostly empty.

"Left your parents' house already? How admirable."

Shimamura muttered while adjusting her legs sideways. Sitting with her long dress seemed to be troublesome. She leaned her head on her hand, elbow placed firmly on the table. With her free hand she pushed over some cookies she had pulled out of some unknown place. There was a bottle of water placed on the desk, but it was probably warm and stale by now.

I found her body language fascinating. It just couldn't be helped if my eyes wandered to her, there wasn't much to look at here, other than her. Now that the vest was off, I could really see her arms in more detail. She didn't have a tan, but she wasn't remotely as pale as myself. Everything about her seemed healthier. She was slender, but not overly thin. Her long hair was flowing so freely down to her waist and now that she was sitting, it nearly touched the ground. I couldn't imagine wearing it that long. I admired it. I really did.

And the way she leaned on her arm, slightly hunched forward, it really showed off a curvature that I had barely noticed until now. Shimamura's… were quite ample actually…

I forcefully bit my lower lip until I could taste iron. The pain managed to jolt my thoughts back to the present. What had just happened? I hastily moved my eyes away from her and stared at some random spot on the wall. How could I ever explain myself if she had noticed? Wait, I didn't even know how to explain this to myself. Looking at her like that… no, not like that. I was just curious. We were both women anyway. It was normal to compare. Yes. That's it.

Shimamura had been busy rummaging through a small chest next to her, so she hadn't noticed my weird behavior. Probably. Instead she now pulled out some cold drinks from said chest. So there were coolers in there. It did look like it was covered in styrofoam and was probably well insulated.

"I only got mineral water here, but at least it's cold. If you want something else I can go get it from the fridge."

She pushed one bottle my way with a smile. Looking at her face was way better. That was acceptable, right? But I also needed to look at the bottle she handed me. It was from the same brand I usually bought.

"Thanks. I like this brand."

I gratefully took it from her and opened the lid. If I focused on sipping from it I would be able to tear my eyes away from any unnecessary distractions.

"It's just water, right? Is there really a difference?"

Shimamura giggled at my response. As long as she was in a good mood I didn't really mind if she laughed at me. Yet I didn't just want to be a jester for her. Maybe it was time that I put in some effort to make small-talk myself. Always leaving it to Shimamura was not good. She might have thought I was boring.

"Do you sleep in a futon?"

In the end I really could just ask her what had been going through my mind since I entered. It wasn't much, but it was something I was genuinely curious about.

"Hmm? Oh, not really. I still sleep in my little sister's room. It used to be our shared room, but you know. She's in high-school now, so I feel bad about it."

Her dry laugh revealed a certain emotion that I could not quite place yet. Discomfort? Guilt? It was hard to say.

I had no siblings, so I couldn't really relate. Did Shimamura love her sister? Did she want the best for her? That must have been why she was so thoughtful and tolerant. An older sister was just like that. Knowing that she was not just being kind to me specifically gave me some relief.

No.

No that's not true. I actually… felt a bit heavy. It confused me that this was my genuine reaction. My hands tightened around the mineral water and I forced myself to smile.

"Do you remember high-school, Adachi?"

It was a random question, one that seemed to have no particular importance for either of us. My high-school life had been dull and uneventful. That was every stage of my life, so it all blurred together. I had no past. My present was just the same. My future would likely be like that as well.

"Not much."

"Hmm, same here. It was a while ago."

She put the cold mineral water to her cheek to cool herself like a child would. That aside, I wondered what Shimamura was like as a student. She seemed pretty mature now, so maybe she was an honor student? But there were those traces of hair dye too…

Student Shimamura. Slightly shorter, wearing a uniform and with bright hair. That's how I imagined her. I really would have liked to see a photo or something. But asking her for one would have been extremely forward and embarrassing. I shouldn't take such an interest in her personal matters, that's what I reminded myself.

"What university did you go to then? Was it in this town?"

"No, I didn't really go to one."

"Seriously? You got a job after high-school? You are too much of a role-model."

Shimamura seemed to be teasing me, but I also could sense some level of admiration. Maybe I was just hearing things. Actually, I most likely was. Even if she really did consider it something to admire, I think that feeling was misplaced. I didn't join the workforce because I had some great ambition. I just needed the money so I could move out. To finally get away from that cold place. From that woman.

My gaze was downcast and I just listlessly spun the bottle in my hands. It happened that I just couldn't avoid thinking about my mother today. The way Shimamura's family seemed to be like really gave me something to think about. I had no friends to speak of. Never. That's why I could never compare my family situation to others. I knew on an intrinsic level that we were not normal, that something had gone awfully wrong. But it was far too late to fix it. It had been too late four years ago when I moved out and it was only getting more impossible as we stayed apart.

Did Shimamura want to leave her home? Did she think my decision was something mature and self-sufficient? I guess that's not impossible. To me it seemed that what she had was so much better, though. I genuinely believed that.

Noting my brooding silence, Shimamura gave me a contemplative look. She was mostly carrying the conversation as usual. Perhaps she didn't know whether silence was fine between us. I found it surprisingly unbearable today. I wanted to get away from these thoughts in my head and she was my only solace.

"Too hot…"

Suddenly she said that with a long sigh and got up. What followed almost gave me a heart attack. She had walked to the closet and pulled out a shirt (I couldn't make out the design) and threw it aside, clearly digging for something else. The next moment she was already undressing!

"Wha- Shi-Shimamura?!"

The words broke out of the tight prison of my lips as I hastily averted my eyes. How could she just change clothes in front of me like that? My heartbeat was speeding up because of the surprising situation.

"Just a second."

I could hear the rustling of clothes and the light 'thwump' of her dress falling down. Then she pulled something else over her head and adjusted it.

This was way beyond my expectations, so I was incredibly flustered. I rapidly tried to figure out how to calm down. In the end, was this really such a big deal? She was putting on cooler clothes because it was hot. This was her room, I was the outsider. It's almost like I was spying on her. No, no no. She invited me. To spy on her? My mind was getting messy.

We were both women. In the changing rooms at school this would have been normal. Although I always skipped P.E., I knew this was something normal. Was it normal for adults, however? Wasn't it weird to change in front of someone? What if all the women at work did this? Could I honestly prove they didn't? Should it even matter?

Shimamura seemed to trust me. She really felt comfortable changing in front of me. That was making me kinda happy. Still, that was a very defenseless attitude. If I looked at her right now and found something embarrassing or shameful, she could definitely come to regret it. What embarrassing things were there?

My head was stuck in place, but my traitorous eyes had full autonomy. They moved over and took a peek. By the point I had finally focused on her, she was already mostly changed. She had put on a blouse and some short pants. Something that she definitely didn't wear outside, but it looked much more comfortable.

"Much better."

She turned my way and smiled. Now I could see it from the front and it was quite amazing.

I covered my mouth and closed my eyes to stop myself from doing something stupid, like saying those thoughts out loud. I was acting so weird in front of her. I wanted to die.

"You dressed for the occasion. You really are a lot more level-headed Adachi."

"N-no, that's not true."

How could I explain that this was my only proper outfit for leaving the house outside of my work clothes? Shimamura's misunderstandings kept piling up and my ability to bear it was dwindling. Eventually all these impressions would crumble like a house of cards. 'Please don't praise me again', I kept repeating to myself.

"Oh! Look at that, I actually found my old uniform."

Suddenly the topic changed drastically due to Shimamura's discovery. She opened the closet wide and pulled out something hanging in the back. It was indeed a high-school uniform. The design was pretty standard as far as these types of uniforms went. It was standard, but…

"That's my school."

I exclaimed.

"Huh?"

"I wore the same uniform… in high-school."

"Seriously?"

We both stared at the uniform in Shimamura's hands. What were the chances? Could it be? I just had to know.

"Shimamura, how old are you?"

"23, I guess."

That was a surprisingly vague reply, but that didn't matter right now. What mattered was that I had been wrong. I had thought we were roughly around the same age.

But the truth was that we were exactly the same age.

"Me too."

"What a coincidence. Does that mean we were in the same year? Hmm, yeah, that's obvious."

We must have been. Which meant that there was a point in time where we walked the same hallways and attended the same classes. Maybe we weren't in the same classes actually, but we still had been incredibly close without noticing. No matter how hard I tried, I could not remember Shimamura there. I could not remember the faces of anybody back then.

We had missed our chance to meet. Something about that made my heart collapse and filled my eyes with welling hotness. It was like I lost something dear.

"I am glad we managed to meet after all."

Shimamura said as she sat down in front of me at the table, showing a hint of fondness on her face. At that moment I knew that our minds were on the same wavelength. We thought the same thing, we felt the same way, but the one difference was that Shimamura was looking forward, while I was lost in regrets.

At that moment I started to realize how much I really admired her.