The Totally Awesome Invincible Deadpool
Chapter 4: The First Predictable Plot Twist
Deadpool called up Dopinder, and told him to meet him outside the house where he and Daredevil fought the Steel Serpent.*
(*Last episode!)
"Dopinder! You here?" asked Deadpool, into the phone. Just then, a rundown taxi showed up. Dopinder was driving it, but it certainly wasn't it.
"Wade!" he shouted, sticking his head out of the window. He had a broken nose.
"The fuck happened to you?" asked Deadpool, jumping in the backseat.
"The mafia! This is their taxi," said Dopinder.
"Hold on, what the fuck? The mafia?" asked Deadpool, surprised.
"Apparently the place I work at is a front for the mafia. I found out and had to get to you, so I fought my way through. Well, I got pretty beat up, but I got to the taxi and drove off," said Dopinder.
"Dopinder, you know I love you, but that was a fucking stupid thing to do! You're not invincible, unlike me or this Marvel Universe ShadowStrike is building," said Deadpool.
"Okay fine. Where do you need to go?" asked Dopinder.
Deadpool looked at the GPS of the tracker he placed on Steel Serpent. It had stopped in San Francisco.
"Dopinder, I'm gonna give you an address, take me there," said Deadpool, scribbling an address and giving it to him.
"Oh Wade, this is pretty far! I mean, it's still in New York, but really far," said Dopinder.
"Then it's time for you to once again Vin Diesel this bitch and get us there quick!" said Deadpool.
Just as Deadpool and Dopinder were driving through the streets of New York and towards the Bronx, where the address was located, three black vans showed up behind them.
"Hey…Wade, that seems a little weird, doesn't it?" asked Dopinder, pointing at the vans now parallel to them. One was at their right, the other at their left and one behind them.
"Oh for fuck's sake, they're going to Winter Soldier us," said Deadpool, readying his handguns and reloading them.
"Wait, what?" asked Dopinder, a little scared.
"Dope, get down!" shouted Wade, as he broke open his window and started to shoot at the van on the right. However, the windows were bulletproof.
The van on the other side of the taxi threw a grenade, which rolled under it.
"Dopinder!" shouted Deadpool, as he grabbed him and jumped out of the taxi through the windshield. The grenade exploded, flipping the taxi as it landed back on the ground with a huge explosion.
6 goons got out of the vans and started spraying bullets on the overturned taxi, in case anyone was still alive. Just then, one of the goons' heads got sliced, and Deadpool was standing right behind him.
"Let's get nuts, shall we?" asked Deadpool, as the others opened machine gun fire on him. Deadpool quickly retreated behind one of the black vans, albeit with a few bullets getting lodged inside him.
Dopinder was waiting behind him, praying heavily.
"When I give the signal, run into that alleyway," said Wade, pointing at an alleyway. The goons started to circle around the van, but Wade took out his handguns.
"2 bullets in each, and 5 guys. Alright then, time to give a handjob to fate," said Deadpool, as he jumped on top of the van. He shot one guy in the foot, causing him to stumble back and accidentally press the trigger, which caused him to shoot one of their own men. He quickly signaled Dopinder to run into the alleyway.
Two goons were standing in a line, and Deadpool shot one bullet through both their heads, killing them instantaneously. There was only guy remaining, and he unloaded an entire round of bullets on Deadpool, who now had more holes than Swiss Cheese. The man just stared at him in horror.
"What are you?" he asked, trembling. Deadpool took out his katanas and stabbed him, bringing him closer to his face.
"The Wolverine." Said Deadpool, as he pulled the swords out, killing him.
"Alright, we're good!" said Deadpool, calling out to Dopinder, who came out of the alleyway.
"These are the same guys who attacked me! They're with the mafia too!" said Dopinder, terrified.
"Alright, Dopinder listen. You need to lay low. After I'm done with this whole Cellar debacle, I'll come for the mafia. Got it?" asked Deadpool, as Dopinder nodded.
"Okay. Now all I need is a ride to The Cellar," said Deadpool, as he looked around, only to notice The Baxter Building. He took out his grappling gun and shot it to the top, pulling himself to the roof of the building, where the FantastiCar was located.
"Richards wouldn't mind, I hope," said Wade.
Deadpool drove the flying FantastiCar to the Cellar, and parked it on a nearby building. He took out a pair of binoculars and observed the place. It was an orange dome, with steel pillars supporting it. Deadpool noticed a helicopter landing, and the guards carrying the Steel Serpent.
"Bingo," said Deadpool, as he grappled to the roof of the translucent orange dome. Inside, he saw the jail cells, and the prisoners seemed rather quiet. In fact, they weren't moving at all.
"Life Model Decoys? Why would the Cellar need decoys?" Deadpool asked himself, as he noticed the guards carry Steel Serpent. He was trying to resist, but one of the guards knocked him out with the butt of his gun.
Just then, another helicopter landed, carrying two unconscious people. One of them was bald and was in a red jumpsuit and coat, with a white beard, looking a lot like Santa Claus, whereas the other was blond and in blue spandex.
"That Santa Claus looking guy seems to be Red Ghost. And the other is…The Human Torch?!" exclaimed Deadpool. "Red Ghost makes sense since he's a supervillain, but what the fuck is Johnny Storm doing here?" asked Deadpool to himself, baffled.
He stealthily climbed down the dome and knocked out a guard, and quickly put on his armour.
"Time to Splinter Cell this bitch," he said, as he then walked up to the guard who was carrying Human Torch.
"Hey. The boss said this one is my duty. The rest are negatory," said Deadpool, trying his best to sound like an armoured militant.
"Sure man, take him. We gotta go bring in Ghost Rider later anyways," said the guards.
"Ghost Rider too?! Why?" asked Deadpool, dropping his act for a second and then regaining composure.
"For Regent, obviously!" said the guard. Deadpool just nodded and wheeled in Human Torch, with another guard walking alongside him carrying Red Ghost. They walked into the dome, past all the fake jail cells and to the exact middle of the floor.
Just then, the floor split open and a ramp opened in front of them, leading below the ground.
"When the fuck did I step into Indiana Jones' universe?" thought Deadpool, as him and the other guard walked down. They were in a large room, with a number of tubes lit in red. The tubes were filled with a liquid but empty, whereas others had bodies floating in them, wires attached to them. Deadpool noticed a body with a dragon tattooed on his chest.
"Iron Fist? So that's why he disappeared," said Deadpool, as he continued forward towards an empty tube. That's when he noticed Taskmaster in a tube, and right next to him was Captain America.
"What in the actual fuck is this?" he asked, as him and the other guard stopped in front of two empty tubes. The first guard took Red Ghost and placed him in a tube, and the wires automatically attached themselves to him.
Deadpool did the same with Johnny, as he placed him into the tube.
"I'll get you guys outta here," whispered Deadpool. Looking around him, there was a sea of different tubes, housing heroes from Bruce Banner to even Black Bolt.
"Let's go. We gotta go get that Spider-Guy in a few days too. Better prepare," said the guard to Deadpool, as he nodded.
"WAIT!" said a booming voice from the other end of the room. There was a large throne, and on it was a large man in a grey and white suit, with red glowing eyes and a red triangle like shape on his chest.
Deadpool and the guard turned to face him, while the large man got off the throne and walked towards them. The guard kneeled down, and Deadpool did the same.
"Regent, sir," said the guard, and Deadpool said the same, trying to keep his cover.
Regent tilted his head and stared at Deadpool, and then he kicked the real guard away. The guard went tumbling to the other side, his bones turning to dust. Deadpool gulped.
"Good to see you again, Deadpool," said Regent in his booming voice, laughing.
"You too, Augustus Roman," said Deadpool, taking off the uniform and readying his katanas.
Regent simply chuckled. "I admire your boldness, Wade. I really do. But I don't think you fully comprehend what kind of operation I'm running here," he said.
"Oh please don't tell me you use these heroes as sex dolls which you preserve!" mocked Deadpool. Regent grabbed him by the throat and jumped up out of the ceiling of the room and out of the dome, before throwing him onto the Helipad.
Deadpool pushed his bones back into place, and instantly took out his handguns to shoot Regent, who landed right beside him. But instead, Regent opened his mouth and breathed out, causing a gust of air to blow Deadpool away.
Regent then extended his arm across the Helipad and turned it into fire, grabbing Deadpool and slamming him into the Helipad thrice, and then retracted his arm. As Deadpool was pulled towards him, Regent charged his other fist, which started glowing yellow, and then punched Deadpool away.
Deadpool landed at the edge of the Helipad, slowly getting to his feet.
"Black Bolt…Mister Fantastic…Human Torch…and Iron Fist? You've been kidnapping heroes and siphoning their powers, haven't you?" asked Deadpool.
"Not just heroes," replied Regent, as he took out 3 knives from his pocket and threw them to the Helipad. The knives ricocheted off of the ground and stabbed Deadpool in the chest.
"Bullseye?" asked Deadpool, and Regent simply chuckled, as he went invisible.
"Oh come on, not this again!" groaned Deadpool, as he felt something grab his leg and throw him off of the Helipad. Deadpool landed outside the entrance of the Cellar. Regent reappeared, and shrank down to the size of an ant, before kicking Deadpool in his shins, breaking both.
Deadpool fell to his knees, and before he could get up, Regent turned back to his large size, grabbed Deadpool and flew straight into the air, above the mesosphere and out into space.
"How are you breathing?" asked Deadpool, gasping for breath.
"Did you ever wonder what happened to Captain Marvel?" asked Regent, laughing. "You see, Wade, your brain is what conducts your cellular regeneration. And your brain requires oxygen. But what if…it was starved of oxygen?" he continued, tearing Deadpool in half, ripping out his entrails, and leaving him To die in Earth's orbit.
Regent chuckled, as he headed back to Earth, leaving Deadpool's lifeless body in space.
Regent landed back at the Cellar, as he walked into the dome and down to the basement, sitting back on his throne and turning back into Augustus Roman. He plugged the wires into his back, and started siphoning the powers of every super-powered individual he had captured, letting the power course through his veins.
"This cocksucking motherfucker obviously never read a comic book, did he?" asked the top half of Deadpool, floating aimlessly in space, as he ranted about Regent.
"Wait, how the fuck are you alive?"
"Bitch, I'm Deadpool. I have literally put my dick inside Death herself," replied Deadpool.
"Fair enough. So, how are you gonna get to Earth?"
"Well, seeing as how I'm a floating talking Mary Sue, you're gonna find some way to get me down there, aren't you?" asked Deadpool.
"Nope,"
"The fuck do you mean? How the Hell am I supposed to stop Regent? You can't keep me floating till the next crossover!" said Deadpool.
"You gotta find your own way outta this, man. I've got a prom to attend,"
"Oh yeah, even though you don't have a date. That's like hosting a dinner party, but without dinner. Instead it's like that one episode of The Office!" countered Deadpool.
"Alright, fuck you man. I'm just gonna go, adios!"
"Ohhhhhh wait! This is the part where the anime protagonist realizes his true power doesn't he? Ohhh I see what you're doing, you're tryna make me seem like I'm nothing, but now I need to prove myself by getting to Earth all by myself, right!"
"Uhh…yeah! Exactly. That!"
"Nice! Now, bitches, just watch and learn!" said Deadpool, as he grabbed his uncoiled left intestine, and started to use it as whip, as he grabbed onto a nearby satellite. He quickly got on and moved to the back, which was still rocket powered.
"Destination: Wherever the fuck I can get some head!" said Deadpool, as he started to push the satellite with only his upper body. Thanks to there being no opposing force, it was relatively easy. The satellite reached far enough where gravity could act on it.
Deadpool held on as the satellite started burning up and headed down towards Earth.
"Big Dick Energy!" shouted Deadpool, as he and the satellite crashed down into the Pacific Ocean.
And that's that! Regent had made his power play, and Deadpool had to stop him! And how does Dopinder's story tie into all of this? I'm planning on having 6-8 chapter this season, so that's gonna be awesome. In the meantime, stay tuned for more!
redbirds12: Thanks! And yeah, I agree, Arkham City is a masterpiece.
Also be sure to check out The Invincible Spider-Man by ShadowStrike234 and The Invincible X-Men by Rollerparty! (Links and timeline are on my profile!)
Yours Truly,
Shadow Strike.