A/N: Did I forget to mention in my other HCs that I feel Squall has some artistic abilities? And that he (and everyone) have a journal to write down their trauma, dreams, or anything they feel are bogging them down?
Something to use as a coping mechanism after the war ends.
Also I'm a firm believer that canonically, Squall wouldn't demonize Seifer at the end of the war. That's his unintentional big bro right there. If you disagree and have a visceral hatred towards Seifer, just click off this chapter.
Another anecdote: I realized in a FF8 Podcast by Resonant of Arc (please listen and watch) that Rinoa isn't even the leader of the Timber Owls, she's a follower. Zone (of all people) is the leader. I forgot that tidbit (as I assume most of the fandom has), but I committed to it at the time I wrote this story.
Days had passed since Squall's insightful encounter with his ex-girlfriend occurred. He still hadn't figured out a proper way to confront Rinoa about everything just yet. He found writing it down in his journal was helpful, but sometimes he needed to make use of his old creative outlet, art.
Rinoa originally was surprised that he had any artistic abilities, but he had to point out how else would he have gotten Griever to look the way it does on his ring, necklace, and his first engraved Revolver gunblade? When Squall timidly decided to share with her his sketchbook and the few acrylic and oil paintings he created, Rinoa was colored impressed. She even encouraged him to share them on Selphie's Blog. The wave of embarrassment he felt at not only the compliment but the sheer thought of his intimate works being shared with others caused him to refuse.
He disclosed that when he didn't have anyone to talk to or relate to, he found solace in creating art. Squall humbly admits that he wasn't good at first, but with practice, he got better. Another facet for him to rely on adults less and to rely on himself more. Eventually, it became something he enjoyed doing for fun but kept it a secret from a lot of his peers.
Rinoa continued to press that it would be a wonderful thing to share with all of his friends, but Squall wasn't ready for that. He shared that one day, he wanted to but he didn't even know when that would be. As it stood, this was his intimate pass-time that he chose to deliberately share with her.
The Sorceress looked ready to press further but thought better of it when Squall's grey eyes pleaded with her to not do that. He did not want another fight. All he felt they were doing were wasting energy, it could be better used for something else. Rinoa seduced him to get her way, why not return the favor?
If that was one thing he was good at, it was being a lover. At one point, Rinoa was convinced she was his first, he couldn't tell her otherwise. Luckily, both topics were dropped and forgotten about afterward.
Rinoa decided to take a trip to Timber to see how Watts and Zone were doing, claiming they wanted to hangout. Squall wasn't ignorant of the fact she wanted to check on the status of how soon they could reclaim independence from Galbadia's forces. Resistance fighter news didn't bother him.
She mentioned being gone for about a week and he told her to be safe out there. Rinoa smiled and shared that he worried too much, which he did. After living with her and paying attention to how she operated, he had every right to worry. It amazed him how she lasted this long. Squall had to remember afterward that she more than likely had help and unlike him, the Sorceress had an easier time asking for it. His accepting help was a newer development.
During the interim of her being gone, he deep cleaned the apartment. Regarding two days for himself to recuperate, and enjoy his newfound alone time. Squall didn't realize how much this put him into better spirits. He caught up on an Estharian comic series he got interested in from his last undercover mission. Probably the only comic book series he read that he shared with someone, Seifer. Thoughts of the haughty man had him reminiscent.
After the events of the war, Squall pulled all the strings possible to pardon Seifer's war crimes. He couldn't push for all of them, even when he was being stubborn and proved his points. Only one place refused to comply with the Commander's pardon: Deling City, Galbadia's capital. The capital ensured that if Seifer Almasy ever set foot in that city, capital punishment would be issued on sight. Military bases were nervous about having him around, but they weren't threatening with a kill on sight order. His presence was welcomed everywhere else at least.
To say Squall was relieved to have Seifer back was an interesting choice of words. He just didn't want the impressionable young adult to have his ego stroked with false promises of grandeur again. Ultimecia's power over him combined with Seifer's own fumblings with control was something out of a horror film. Squall could tolerate the annoying peer pressure from his friends, who consistently put him into leadership roles for this or that. Yet, to have no control or feel as though his attempt at control was coupled with a delusional mindset followed by trauma? Squall shuddered at the thought when he none too gently shoved the idea away.
Squall remembered confiding into Seifer that he was Rinoa's Knight. The blonde was quiet at first. He didn't know what to say, only accepting the silence. Seifer spoke up and mentioned, "You'll be a good knight for Rin."
Squall wasn't even sure how to be a knight period, but he did ask Seifer honestly, "Though your experience with being a knight is different than mine, you got any pointers?" He jested even though he realized soon after it was in poor taste, but the sincerity was there. Squall's humor was drier than paint, so it helped when others caught it or didn't take offense. His comment was tangled with sincerity and nervousness. The blonde gunblade wielder couldn't even form words at first, which the brunette followed with, "You don't have to answer that—I shouldn't have asked." Poorly timed humor was Squall's specialty.
Moments passed when Seifer croaked out, "There's a lot I can say, but it jus' won't come out." The man was broken, the fire behind his eyes dim as he curled into himself. Vaguely, Squall remembered that very position Seifer would do when he was a child, afraid of Centra's violent coastal storms. The Commander had to remember that even Seifer, a man that always claimed that he was so sure of himself, wasn't impenetrable to fears of self-doubt and not being good enough.
Thinking of Seifer reminded him that he needed to pay that wily man a visit.
What was supposed to be a light-hearted time with the blonde male, turned into a masculine heart to heart with Seifer cooking up homemade spicy Balamb fish and shrimp in his apartment in Balamb Town. Aside from Squall's chiding of "Don't make it so salty" Coupled with Seifer's eye roll and haughty, "You'll eat however I make it, Leonhart.", the meal provided the necessary break from the tension.
Not uncomfortable tension either, just… tension one would expect between two intense men that prefer handling situations their own way. Before the topic shifted into making an afternoon meal, Seifer revealed how his therapy session came with a breakthrough. He spared the Commander the emotional details but appreciated that without Squall giving him a chance that no one was willing to take, he would've truly been lost out there. Additionally, he mentioned how his documented dreams in his dream journal have been less of nightmares, but more of some sort of cryptic message.
Seifer described it as he was following a woman through sporadic scenes and familiar places, but he could never see her face. He mentioned that from behind she looked like Rinoa, but any time he tried to step forward to look, she moved ten steps faster, so he was unable to catch up. It reached a point where he was waking up and his "eyes" were tunnel visioning on the woman crouched down in a dreary location, holding herself. The blonde couldn't make out if she was cold, upset, or anything since her face was never made known. When the blonde was slowly waking up, he mentioned hearing rain. However, when he opened his eyes, it was bright and sunny outside. He couldn't tell if he was experiencing hypnogogic hallucinations again or he was hearing the very last of his dream before it was time to wake up.
Squall's interest in seeking meaning in dream decoding only spurred after the war once he got over his own reoccurring fragmented memory of his past. Time Compression caused him to paint furiously all the places that were burned in his mind, even parts of Ultimecia's Castle. Hearing the dream piqued the inquisitive male's curiosity.
After sharing, Seifer wore a pensive expression that was unlike him as he rubbed his temples. "I don't know who that woman is, but I hope she'll be ok." Cyan eyes deepened to a teal hue, as he considered what it could possibly mean.
Squall observed this before asking, "Do you think the woman could be Rinoa?" Crossing his arms, he tried to focus on the quaint details of Seifer's studio apartment in Balamb Town.
Closing his dream journal before tossing it on his air mattress, he observed Squall before asking, "Not like it's any of my business, but are you and the Princess ok?" Blasé concern, but a concern nonetheless. Almasy preferred being ignorant about private matters.
While Rinoa and Seifer's romantic history was over, they still talked, even after the Sorceress forgave him at the end of the war. Despite everything, Rinoa was dear to Seifer. However, Squall wasn't foolish to view it as jealousy of a former flame trying to reconnect, he was secure in that regard. If someone were to make the blonde to choose between him or Rinoa, Seifer would choose himself while proceeding to make himself scarce. Nothing puts a bad taste in the blonde's mouth than having to choose sides.
Squall sighed before he gave him the shortened version of what he gave Fujin, "Lately, she's just been getting on my nerves and there are things she does that weren't originally a problem—"
"And now it's become a problem?" Seifer added without missing a beat. The switch of understanding clicked for both men.
"Yeah! I just—I don't even know how to bring it up to her without her looking at me with those dejected eyes or saying Well, it wasn't a problem before… completely ignoring the fact that I would say 'I guess I didn't notice this before but…' beforehand." Seifer nodded, before reaching his smartphone and flipping through it for a moment.
"I hope there are no secrets between you two," Seifer said casually, eyes meeting Squall's who wondered what he was looking for in his smartphone. "So I'm hoping she told you where she's gone off to, right?" He asked cautiously.
"She mentioned going to Timber to see Zone and Watts, so I figured she would take care of whatever resistance business as well."
Rinoa kindly asked Squall for pointers on how to be an effective leader, since that was something that Squall had a hard time buying when they officially met for business. He offered what he could, but said she should focus more on quick thinking for urgency; to know that sometimes the easiest thing to do isn't always right, and how making sacrifices can be a double-edged sword depending on the situation. While Rinoa paid attention to him during their travels, she knew that there were times Squall was put in positions he did not want to be in. She worried that that would be her given that she had never experienced anything like that prior to working with SeeD.
Seifer observed Squall's expression before turning the phone screen off and shoving it in his pocket. The silence was all Squall needed to know. Rinoa didn't tell him the whole reason why she was gone.
"You know something don't you?" He wasn't accusatory, though he felt a pang regarding the trust he had with his girlfriend.
"It's none of my business." Moving away from the beaten-up coach that they were chatting on, he went a few steps away to enter the kitchen and prepare a traditional island meal. Anything to get Squall's mind off of it.
Seifer knew exactly where Rinoa was at, her feelings regarding Squall and he did not like feeling as if he's in the middle of a lover's quarrel when it had nothing to do with him.
The silence felt deafening even though it was supposed to be comfortable. Squall was sitting on the couch, looking at his phone, tempted to call his girlfriend to see if she was ok or to see if she really was at where she claimed she was. He didn't want to be paranoid and he didn't need to put that all on her either. The Commander found himself waffling between dialing her number or waiting for her to return. If he didn't call at all, Rinoa would take offense that he wasn't making any effort. If he did, considering it was the first day she's been gone, she'd lightly chide him and tell him he worries too much.
Squall couldn't win. He found himself in his head thinking about all the worst possible scenarios and he wasn't sure how he emotionally felt. He waded between indifference to some but awful in others. Sighing, he told himself he would give it a few days. At least it would give Rinoa time to enjoy whatever time she's spending with her friends.
In the background, Squall could hear the sizzling sounds of the skillet and smell the fragrant aromas off of the seasoned grilled fish and shrimp. Comforting scents that knew how to calm him down.
Without getting too far into his own thoughts, the fragrance wafted closer to him, tempting him. Looking up, there was a plate placed before him, the rice, shrimp, and Balamb fish all separated the way he likes. Squall couldn't help that he didn't like when his food touched other food groups sometimes, he preferred serving his own plate so he could mix his own food. Noticing that Seifer, after all this time of teasing him for it, understood this whereas Rinoa told him that he was being silly, inherently brought his annoyance to the forefront.
"Seifer, you'd tell me if I should be worried about Rinoa, right?" He asked, staring at his plate, before he reached for his fork.
"I'd tell you to stop being a fuckin' baby and eat your food." Seifer could feel the pointed look on him for his comment.
"…Seriously, jus' give it a few days or wait till she gets back." The blonde resumed eating as Squall began the process as well.
Maybe there was nothing to worry about. However, Squall couldn't help but feel that he would not even have the proper words for when she returned. The Knight would get comfortable with this alone time and find himself wanting more of it, something he didn't originally mind.
What was he going to do? What were they going to do?