Chapter 4

On the walk in my son squeeze my hand it gave me a flashback of his mother doing the same thing, I saw them sitting at the table, I sat down and then chose food for ben and I we ate in silence, until I think the atmosphere became to much and finnick started to ask questions to ben,

I listened to the two of them chatty away ben seemed more at ease and I smiled he would win, he had to.

After the meal we watch the rest of the reaping's and then it was getting late I saw that ben was asleep on the sofa, I went over and pick him up and walked to my room where someone opened the door I got him on the bed undress him to his boxer shorts and tucked him in kissed his forehead whispered I love you and left him there. Leaving a lamp on for him if he needed, I left the door ajar and went back into the sitting room seeing a drink on the side took one and sat down. Mags and finnick just looked at me.

I looked at them " what you want to know? and how bad is it?"

" its bad and as much as you can tell us he is the son of two victors a lot of attention is coming to him and you by proxy. Tell us what you can" said fin

Then seemed deeply unsettled and serious, I took a deep breathe looked at my drink, ben is the son of shelly Lane and haymitch Abernathy, shelly died in childbirth in the orphanage and I help her give birth to ben, I had him since birth, I was 6 myself, I adopted him when he was 8 and he is my son in everything but blood, and he will win I will make sure of it, he is aware of his parentage, and he was a result of a one night stand, but loved by his mother, and myself. I 've looked after him all these years, shelly did not seemed to want anyone to learn his parentage I think she wanted him to stay out of it. I 'm wondering how they found out," looking at both of them I said in these games if you can save anyone you save ben, if his not the first person you think of your not doing your jobas mentor good enough, don't save me. "

Mags looked really upset and nodded I looked at finnick he nodded as well

"we will do as you asked " said mags she looked at me sadly "he seems a wonderful boy you have done well with him. " mags and finick saw a beautiful girl as her face lit up and she spoke of her son

"thank you he is my life, " I said as I felt a lot of emotion mostly negative taking a deep breathe I drain my drink and got up. Looking at both of them I gave a weak smile " goodnight" " goodnight " then said back as I walked away back to my son.

I got ready for bed and got in to bed as my son awoke a little freaking out a little I shh him and he cuddle closer to me, in a protective hold I dozed off until I heard a knocking on my door and got asked to get up I woke my son and we showered and got changed, going to the breakfast table, ben chose what he wanted, and sat eating drinking hot chocolate making a little mess but was still half asleep.

I was worried about the outcome of these games, I begged in my head to shelly to guide him and me to keep him safe. I ate and afterwards got told about the make-over, you will be separated and meet up again before the parade. I looked at ben he looked frighten but I said to him that everything will be alright. He did clam a little but was scared as we arrived, we got though the crowd and went to the car and then got to the building to get made over I was wax plucked and washed to an inch of my life, I was then looked up and down, by a stylist called joy she was over prize chicken but dressed me like the ocean in a silky water colour dress with blue streamers hanging of my hair style with blue eyes I looked lovely. She said I looked like a goddess I never cared; I just wanted my son. It was another hour until I met my handsome son, who looked happier for seeing me saying how pretty I looked, we got in the carriages the parade was a blur only ben's reaction got anything out of me and he was scared.

We got out the other end and walked away I was stop by none other then mags, fin and haymitch.

Fuck I thought I looked to ben who seemed out of it.

I walked pass them "not here" I said as I walk towards the elevator they nodded and in silence we made it into flat 4.

We sat down and ben sat next to me he stared at haymitch and I saw the look of hurt in haymitch eyes of not knowing he had a son until he was sent into the hunger games.

Haymitch just watched us and it started to creep ben out, to break the stale mate I took a deep breath.

" what you want to know haymitch ?" he looked anger and said everything. I looked at ben he seemed to what me to say something,

And exhaled out okay you slept with shelly lane and she was pregnant she went to the orphanage in district 4 and was in labour for 3 days with no help and I was 6 and was woken that night with her screaming I went in there and help derived ben and she died from blood loss. Since ben's birth I have been his care giver and mother, when ben was 8 I adopted him he is my son. "

My son looked at haymitch who looked shocked, not knowing what to say,

Ben spoke then " you don't have to do anything haymitch I might die in these games and you were just a sperm donor I was the result of a one night stand even if shelly had lived, I was born in the home shelly was going to leave me there, your a little fuck up deep in the bottles, I had a great life with my mum in 4, I want my last days filled with the love of my mum not awkward moments, with someone I don't know, who only going be scared that if he gets to know me, and I die he will be in morning, not caring that it was mum that will miss me most. " ben squeezed my hand, and haymitch got up looking hurt, but nodded to ben looked at me with an understanding and left then, fin and mags seemed to look lost,

The blue woman came in and we prepared for the games.