Before starting this chapter, here's a little notice to say I'm back, as you may have seen.
Not just for a chapter, I assure you, chapter 4 (or 5 with the prologue) is almost done! (though I won't publish it until I've written the most of chapter 5 since I tend to go back on previous chapters a lot)
Sorry I kept you waiting.
I made a few changes in earlier chapters, so I advise you to re-read them, especially chapter 2 (or 3 with the prologue).
Timo rolled his pen between his fingers, wondering what to write. There was so many things he wanted to say, and so many things he couldn't.
On the first letter, he decided to lay down everything weighing on him, then burned it. The second letter wasn't good enough. The third one didn't make any sense. How was it so hard? He didn't have any problem writing those before. Maybe it was because it seemed all too real now that he was about to face them soon, making it harder to lie.
Why did he even take this decision anyway? They were clearly better off without him. Still, he missed them so much...
Them, as well as Erzsébet, were his only escape right now. Where they lived, the only place he could go to and feel right again.
Even though Matthew was supposed to tell Timo about the school, all they ended up talking about was hockey as soon as he mentioned his club – which really didn't take long – but it was far from bothering him. Mattew was easy to talk with and seemed really nice and friendly. A bit shy, at first, but all restraint had vanished as soon as he saw Timo show the slightest bit of interest for his sport, to the point that the teacher had to calm him down a few times with a surprised look on the face – it seemed like his new acquaintance didn't get carried away that often.
Sometimes, his gaze would wander to Lukas. He didn't really know what caused him to react like that, but he didn't seem as happy to see him as he would have thought. He appeared surprised earlier, but didn't they get his letter? He delivered it himself, after all. Did he get the wrong address? It would be very embarrassing to have a stranger read that, even if he didn't write much in the end. A letter was something personal, after all.
Anyway, he had to talk to Lukas as soon as he got the chance – after all, he seemed more confused than hostile. Or maybe would it be better to give him some space first? But it would be a shame to start off as complete strangers when they had the chance to be in the same class. In the end, the best course of action was to ask the interested party how he felt about it first, right?
« So, do you want to join the team? Oh, but you would need to pass a small test first.
- Yes, of course! I would be thrilled to. I'm sure the test will go fine.
- Somehow I feel like I can trust you on that. I'm eager to see you join us, then. »
He stopped for a moment, pondering whether or not to continue.
« Um, do you have someone to eat with at lunchtime? I'm usually eating with a friend, but you can join us if you'd like.
- Thank you very much but I think I'll decline for today. I would like to see if I can join some old friends first.
- Okay, but don't hesitate to join us if you change your mind.
- Thanks a lot!
- It's really no problem. That's part of my duty as a class representative, after all, and I would like to talk about hockey some more.
- Is it? I think most people don't go that far.
- Eh, you think...? Was it weird?
- Not at all. I think it was very nice of you, on the contrary. »
Politely, he left Matthew with a smile before going to see Lukas.
« Hello, Lukas? »
How should he approach him? What should he start with? Maybe something simple was best.
« Do you remember me? »
Probably not the best option. Really, what an idiotic question: of course he remembered him. Timo had sent many pictures of him so he would not have any trouble recognizing him, a good amount of the letters he got were written by Lukas' hand and even though his reaction earlier was weird, it wasn't how anyone would act toward a complete stranger.
« Hi, Timo. Of course I remember you... I'm sorry for earlier. I was just a bit surprised. »
Lukas was averting his gaze again. Was he bothering?
« Don't worry about that. I'm just glad you're talking to me now.
- Why wouldn't I? »
Startled, his gaze shifted focus to go straight into Timo's. Now, he was sure he made the right choice by coming to talk with him.
« Well, I don't know. It's weird, right? To see each other in the flesh like that, I mean. We changed quite a lot, I think. At least you did. »
Lukas was indeed very different. His eyes were still frank, his hair curly as ever and his features were quite fine. However, compared to the last time he saw him, he grew a lot and his body became more lengthy and angular: his jaw and clavicle were especially marked, following the lines drawn by his bones. Frankly, he could probably become a top model if he wished. In comparison, Timo felt silly with his small size and childish face.
« Yeah, I guess. You did change a bit. »
"A bit". Did he mean not at all...?
« But, you know, I'm very glad to see you even if it's weird. »
That he didn't expect at the moment. But he was glad to hear it.
« Me too! I missed you all so much.
- We all missed you, too. A lot. I think you can barely imagine how it was on our side: there was a riot as soon as one of your letters arrived. We even had to set some rules for that. »
Lukas smiled. Now, that was better.
« The others will go crazy as soon as they see you. Mikkel is probably going to asphyxiate you, in fact, so you should get ready for that.
- Who wouldn't? Asphyxia sounds nice... Honestly, I can't wait.
- I can only imagine. Do you want to eat with us? It's the quickest way you'll come to face a wild Mikkel.
- Sure! »
They kept joking about the wild Mikkel and its dangers on their way to the cafeteria, where he and Berwald had been waiting for Lukas. Unsurprisingly, he let out a high-pitched scream along with a string of incomprehensible sentences pronounced at an alarming speed, attracting annoyed glances from the people present here – including Berwald's. Then, he jumped at Timo and squeezed him in his arms like he would have done if he wanted to extract the life out of him. Fortunately or not for Timo he had known worse. After that, it was Berwald's turn to hug him and mumble a few words.
Soon, Emil arrived too and his surprise was so big and so apparent Timo feared he'd faint. After hugging him as well, the boy told him how glad he was to see him here and introduced him to his friends at a speech rate surprisingly close to Mikkel's.
They were metamorphosed: Emil was no longer a child while Berwald and Mikkel had gained a very strong build and were towering the vast majority of the school. At least, Emil was still smaller than him. It was weird having a thirteen-year-old in front of him when he left him at eight, though. Personality-wise, he seemed to be the one who changed the most.
Emil's friends left them, unwilling to meddle in their reunion. During the whole meal Mikkel and Emil fought for speech without leaving the other two the occasion to place a word. In this excitement, Timo had barely the time to answer a question before it got buried under a flow of new ones.
« But you know, we only got your letter this morning! We didn't even have the time to read it! That's pretty crazy, right?
- Ah, so you did get it? I thought I got the address wrong since this morning... I'm pretty sure I put it in your letterbox on Wednesday, though.
- Oh. I guess it's our fault, then. We don't usually check the mail on weekends. But you came to deliver it yourself? How come you didn't say hello?
- Well, I couldn't trust the post office with it since it was pretty urgent, so it was better to go by myself. And as to why I didn't show up, it would have been rude to show up unannounced and I didn't want to catch you off guard. However, I may have failed to avoid that... »
After Mikkel, it was Emil's turn to speak.
« Wait, so you're telling me you are the weirdo in a raincoat who walked around our house under the rain?
- Well I... guess I am? »
At some point, the discussion turned into an interrogation, but it didn't bother Timo much. He felt home already, happy to be reunited with them at last.
« We don't have much time left now, so... Would you like to come to our place tonight? There's still so many things to talk about.
- Sure! I'll just let Erz know.
- Who's Erz?
- She's my cousin and roommate, Erszébet – or Elisabeth, if you prefer.
- But I thought your cousins were boys... something like Eduard and Andras, if I remember correctly?
- Well, let's just say it's complicated.
- Is she a long-lost relative of some kind? Maybe an illegitimate child?
- No, that's not it, Mikkel.
- Is she trans, then?
- No, Emil... Though it could be similar in some way, perhaps? I don't think I should talk about it anyway – it's a delicate matter. »
The conversation was quickly reoriented by Mikkel, who continued with his questions until the bell rang. Then, he quietly went back to class with Lukas, away from the noise of the cafeteria – of which they had been partly responsible.
« Are you okay? You look exhausted.
- I do?
- Extremely.
- Maybe their interrogation was heavier than I originally thought. Honestly, I never imagined that Emil would speak that much!
- Actually, he's rarely like that but I think he was really excited to see you.
- That's nice to hear. »
Timo stopped in the middle of the hallway, a grave look on the face.
« I have a problem, though.
- What is it?
- Well, I got a hug from everyone but you. »
He said that playfully, but it really did bother him. As children, Lukas was the one he had been the closest to but he had been distant distant ever since he came back. And he was pretty sure his personality had nothing to do with that.
Timo opened his arms with a smile, leaving Lukas dumbstruck for a moment. Then, he approached and closed his arms behind his back, leaving a scent similar to an early day of spring.
They stayed like that for a few seconds before Lukas stepped away abruptly, startled by something he couldn't see.
« Let's go, we're going to be late for class. »
Soundtrack: On Top Of The World - Imagine Dragons