Chapter 4: Fractured
Her return to the Palace had been far from triumphant, and she had lain in bed for days while her wounds healed, scarcely speaking to anyone. For the temperamental man Zuko could often be, he proved remarkably patient with her this time around. Perhaps seeing her in such poor shape had shocked him profoundly, and a strange sense of responsibility had been born within him, one she had never expected he'd feel for her, of all people. He had seen to it that she was nursed back to health, and Azula couldn't even bother to take offense at his keeping guards posted at her room's every exit. As it was, she even felt safer this way, strange as it might be.
She hadn't been pressed to confess any truths, though Zuko had asked her about what had happened to her, assuring her he only wanted to keep her protected from anything that might do her harm. Azula had given him curt, but honest answers. For five days, she was free to rest without even the meddling of the Avatar's two closest friends, who had traveled at haste to the Capital after Zuko had notified them that she'd returned. Zuko hadn't allowed them to see her, fearful that the Water Tribe siblings might have a spat with her, one that might result in Azula running away yet again… a surprisingly thoughtful idea on her brother's part. Maybe he had grown up in more ways than she'd realized, over the course of the years since he had become Fire Lord…
But naturally, everything fell to shambles once Zirin and the rest of Azula's former allies made an explosive, catastrophic return to the Fire Nation Capital. She had always seen herself as infallible. Uniquely talented. Capable of great feats. Her whole life had proven that time and again. Her mastery of blue fire and lightning at such an early age. Her conquest of Ba Sing Se. Every moment of her life was an upward trajectory until at the very top of the proverbial mountain, the complete and total victory of her father's regime, it came crashing down around her.
It was why her defeat at the hands of her brother and that annoyingly talented waterbender was such a shocking blow to her psyche. To be here, back in the Capital again after all these years… well, the familiar architecture and roads of her childhood home reaggravated old, festering wounds to say the very least.
Had Zirin gotten her way, the familiar architecture and roads would soon be ravaged and desecrated in parallel with her sense of pride and worth. The longer she lingered in the palace, the less she wanted to be there. Never mind a spat, the constant reminders of what could have been were more than enough to drive her away and Zuko did little to remedy this. Likely he was unaware. Completely so.
And how exactly would she feel about seeing the streets and home of her childhood in ruins? She thought that she might feel bitter. Relieved. It might come as a bitter relief to see the Capital fall.
All the same, she was hard pressed to imagine anything she'd like less than to witness the fall of a great nation. Her great nation. All the same, her desires didn't particularly matter anymore. Not to Zuko, not to his friends, not to Father, and certainly not to Zirin. Zirin, who the universe had sent to her when she needed strife the least.
On a night when her inner conflict and tribulations about being back home and making amends was reaching a peak. On a night when earlier injuries were particularly tender. On a night when she was already fighting a battle of sorts on many fronts. And perhaps facing Zirin would alleviate her… would absolve her of some of the turmoil in her mind.
At least then she could pretend that she could get some glory back to her name.
Yes. She would go straight towards the sounds of battle and fight Zirin. The sounds that were growing ever louder and more chaotic. She would protect her pathetic brother and her nation. And she would reclaim the dignity that she had been known for.
Despite persistent protest from her recovering limbs, she rose from the bed.
The palace was in pandemonium, with guards running every which way, trying desperately to ensure the safety of the royal family. Either they were too busy to notice her, or, more likely, they knew better than to interfere, but no one got in Azula's way as she made her way outside. One look at her was enough to know she was ready to put everything on the line and fight.
She knew where she had to go, to where it all began. The streets of Caldera City were up in smoke and flames. Echoes of blood-curdling screams and cries for help pervaded the air. There hadn't been a security breach this bad since the Day of Black Sun. The sights and sounds were suffocating, and yet, Azula pushed on. She had to find Zirin before it was too late. It was only a matter of time before the girls would reach the palace.
She couldn't let that happen, no, she wouldn't let that happen. She had to protect her brother at all costs. She may have been born a monster, but she would not die a monster. If she could do one good thing in her life, then it would have all been worth it. This was the drive that pushed her forward despite her injuries. She took personal responsibility for Zirin, for the monster she created. The battle between monsters was inevitable. And naturally, she would find Zirin at the epicenter of the chaos.
Among so many soldiers working hard to evacuate the citizens from their houses, she stumbled into a familiar man. She had hoped to keep a fair distance from him at all times ever since she had returned to the Palace, but before she could sneak past him, Sokka turned and clasped her arm, realizing quickly that she intended to fight the enemies firsthand.
"Back to the Palace with you, Princess!" he shouted. "We've got this!"
"You're mad if you expect I'll let you and the others deal with Zirin, with what I started," Azula hissed, wrestling to get her arm out of his hold, ineffectively. "I'll take care of this already, the city will be safer after I'm through with her!"
"The city will be safer once they're defeated, yes, but you're part of this city too and Zuko wants you safe!" Sokka retorted. "The city gates are guarded, there's lots of firebenders between the Palace and the crater's edge…! There's only one way they can get in here, and they're going to find one hell of a resistance if they try! So just turn back and make my job easier, will you…?"
His words dwindled into silence, however, when a flash of insight glistened across Azula's eyes. A flash that soon turned to horror, as her eyes met his own, with no sign of disdain or displeasure towards him, for once.
"There's… there's more than one way for them to reach the Palace," she said, her haunted voice revealing regrets that ran so much deeper than Sokka could possibly fathom. "W-when I kidnapped Kiyi, I…"
"You… you showed them secret passageways into the Palace," Sokka finished, finally understanding what Azula herself had. She shivered, and she wondered if he had too, his hand still clinging to her arm. "Azula…"
"The attack at the harbor is a distraction," Azula finished, gritting her teeth. "All these defenses… they're for nothing. They're already bound to be…"
"Shit… shit, then we have no time to waste!" Sokka exclaimed, pulling her along with him as they retread their steps and returned to the Palace in a rush.
They would have a long trek to cover, between the city's streets and the Palace walls, then the gardens, then the royal hallways… yet the two of them raced as fast as they could, with soldiers tailing them, in order to aid in the defense of their Fire Lord and his family. The sounds of battle loomed ahead. Azula recognized them with a horrified start… and they drifted towards them from the dark, foreboding halls of the Royal Gallery. There was no longer any doubt regarding the location where Zirin and Azula's former allies had decided to strike at the Fire Lord.
What remained of the entrance into the throne room was a smoldering mess of burnt wood and ash. When Azula, Sokka and the soldiers stepped through the cinders they were greeted by the blistering heat and the glow of dozens of fires burning in every direction. The very heart of the Fire Nation was ripped asunder.
And near the dais of the throne itself, painfully clutching his side as a handful of Kyoshi Warriors surrounded him, was Zuko. Amid the maelstrom of glinting swords and flashes of fire, Zirin marched toward the young Fire Lord with murderous intent as fire daggers blazed in her fists.
The throne room had surely never borne witness to such disarray. Smoldering piles of debris littered the floor. The walls appeared as if they might fall with the slightest of nudges. Throughout the once regal halls, a battle raged. The Kyoshi Warriors gave as good as they got, mounting a desperate defense of their Fire Lord.
Azula quickly surveyed the situation. Zirin's band had subdued most of the imperial firebenders, yet the battered and bruised Warriors of Kyoshi fought on. A dozen of Zirin's accomplices struggled to keep Ty Lee away and they at last had the acrobat hemmed in and surrounded. To her right, Sokka leapt into action almost instantly. He appeared to have taken in the situation quickly, perhaps even faster than she had. That, or he had jumped headlong into the conflict without thinking, who could tell with him.
For herself, Azula scanned the room for Zirin.
The woman stood quite boldly and rather recklessly at the heart of the chaos, a shimmering centerpiece of treason. This was something that had always peeved Azula; Zirin was always too brazen and too confident. But then, she had the power to back it.
Her former friends parted as she made her way towards Zirin. At least they had the decency to respect a proper standoff. Azula would trust Sokka, Ty Lee, and that band of Kyoshi Warriors to keep the others at bay for her.
"I should have left you to die," Azula hissed.
Zirin chuckles, "Yes, you should have. You're no good when you're soft, princess."
Azula let her face betray nothing. No good when she is soft… it was the exact mentality her father had ingrained within her. The exact mentality she had confided in Zirin about. The thing that they had bonded over and she was brandishing it like a weapon. Her proficiency was poor.
"Perhaps you would have stood a chance if your father had slapped you around harder." Azula nearly had the decency to feel awful for saying such. It was a low blow. The lowest, really. But Zirin's taunting was an open invitation.
The woman scowled, eyes gleaming with a hatred Azula hadn't seen since provoking such in Zuko. Azula readied herself for an onslaught of flames. The first of them erupted to the side of her, a decoy. Azula ignored it in favor of the real strike. She parted the curtain of fire with her own flames. Zirin always used that strategy: decoy first, accompanied by a vicious first blow. Zirin knew that Azula knew that.
Rage is a powerful thing.
Rage clouded Zirin's judgment. Made her forget. A critical mistake. Rage always had been Zirin's weak point.
It was just as well. It made things easier for her.
If only Zirin wasn't well aware that Azula had her own weak points. That sometimes she also overestimated herself. That sometimes she couldn't quite put aside her softness.
That it still hurt to be betrayed again.
That it hurt worse still to be the one doing the betraying.
Zirin had an advantage.
As the sounds of battle swirled around him, Zuko roused himself out of his daze of pain. He clutched at the burn engulfing his side in a vain attempt to make the pulsing, writhing sensation go away. He gritted his teeth as he tried to stand, leaning against a pillar for support. His eyes hovered over the handful of Kyoshi Warriors that faithfully guarded him, fending off a torrent of fireballs that relentlessly bombarded their shielding fans.
"Stay with us, your majesty! I can see the princess and the tribesman fighting their way toward us! They have Zirin and her followers occupied," one of them stated.
Another sharp spasm of pain surged through him before he could respond. If only he could join them in the fight. He had risked his own safety just to save one of the Kyoshi Warriors from Zirin's fire attacks. He couldn't bear to see another one fall protecting him. He was the Fire Lord. He wanted to fight with them, not cower behind them.
And now he slumped against a pillar behind a wall of Kyoshi shields, nursing a terribly painful burn wound. He had fallen for Zirin's ploys and it nearly cost him everything. Being burned by her fire was a bitter reminder of his recklessness.
A barrage of blue and orange fireballs soared throughout the throne room, like shooting stars piercing the night's sky, only these orbs of energy were fueled by pure malice rather than peaceful wishes. Azula's aching body begged her to give in to the pain of her previous injuries, but she continued to fight through the agony, dodging fireball after fireball, delivering blow after blow. But something wasn't quite right. Zirin wasn't using her full strength. She was waiting for something, but what?
Azula didn't want to wait to find out. She hoped desperately to land an incapacitating blow, to kill Zirin if she had to, but her legs were growing increasingly more unstable as the battle continued and she didn't quite trust herself to take Zirin down with lightning while so many of Zuko's allies were in the room.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Zuko emerge from between his loyal Kyoshi warriors, ready to reenter the battle. That's when it finally dawned on her what exactly Zirin had been waiting for. In this battle, Azula was the decoy. Zirin had only been attacking her to tire her out. The main target had always been the Fire Lord, the leader of the allegedly great nation that treated Zirin and the other women in the asylum so inhumanely. Zirin jumped high into the air; Azula's body acted instinctively.
"ZUKO!" she shrieked, jumping in front of a deadly stream of orange flames jutting out of Zirin's feet at full force, shielding her brother from the onslaught. She didn't even feel it when she collapsed to the floor.
Azula had a weakness, a weakness to be exploited. His name was Zuko.
Time seemed to stand still as that charged fire blast swirled towards the ill-defended Fire Lord who watched the flames in silent chagrin. Occupied battling as most the other warriors were, no one seemed to glimpse what he would: Azula had leapt into the fire, her trembling knees nearly giving out, but she had used all her strength to jump between him and the deadly attack all the same.
To think that, at a time like this, he would remember the one time it was him, shielding Katara from Azula's merciless attack… to think that all roles had been reversed, and now it was his sister who, inexplicably, had chosen to sacrifice herself by leaping in front of a fire attack too powerful to deflect. His mouth opened, but he couldn't call her name out on time…
The charged blast crashed into Azula's chest powerfully, engulfing her frame, sending her spinning in the air… right towards a tall, solid column of the Throne Room.
The ungodly sound of her lower back's impact against the metal seemed to escape no one's notice. Suddenly the fighting eased, if not ceased, as her form dropped heavily on the fractured, ash-covered floor, mere moments before Zuko finally found his voice:
"AZULA!"
No amount of adrenaline could get her standing again. And it crashed down upon her all at once. The pain and the burning. The hurt and the heat. And oh, Agni, it was much more intense than she could have dreamt up.
But she didn't let out her ear piercing cry until after the pain so suddenly stopped.
Until after she realized that she couldn't feel anything from the waist down.
Until after she realized that she wouldn't be the same ever again.
She screamed again, louder, longer as she tried to move her legs. Even just a twitch. But she couldn't manage even that. She beat her fist against the ground until it was as raw and abused as the rest of her. Until the very last of her energy had been depleted.
Her body went limp.
The world faded into only fragmented blurs of sound.
It only faintly registered to her that Zuko had left her side to finish Zirin off. She tried not to look or listen. She knew how he got when he was truly angry. She didn't think that he would have cared enough about her to truly hurt Zirin. But the woman's shouts told her otherwise. And soon she didn't hear them any more.
"Is she…?" It was Ty Lee's timid voice.
"Almost," Zuko replied.
"Don't…" she managed to sputter. She wasn't sure if anyone had heard her.
"Don't worry, we're not going to kill her." At first she thought that Sokka was talking to her. And then Ty Lee responded with gratitude.
"Arrest her." And she could tell by Zuko's tone that that wasn't satisfactory.
She struggled to make out anything else. For a time, the incoherent noise faded to silence as she slipped out of consciousness. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open, struggling to gain a semblance of the present moment. Smoke hung heavy in the air and crackling fire filled her ears. She wanted so desperately to stand but nothing seemed to move.
A shadowy figure approached her and the glint of a long blade caught in her eye. Azula tried to rouse herself to action, instinctively balling her fists as if to bend fire.
"Azula?" came the familiar voice.
"Z… Zuko?" She could barely form words, much less full sentences. 'What's… happened…"
He quickly moved to her side, trying to pick her up. "Can you walk?"
"N-No, I… argh!" A blindingly sharp pain shot through the middle of her spine and up to her neck. Anything lower was numb and limp.
"Damn it." Zuko cursed. "We need to move you. Sokka, Ty Lee, help me carry her."
"I don't need help to stand…" She gritted her teeth, desperately holding in the pain engulfing her entire spine. "I-I can walk on my own."
"You've done enough, Azula." Zuko laid a gentle hand on her forehead as Sokka and Ty Lee attempted to lift her up. "Let's get you to a healer. We'll have you walking in no time."
Despite the honesty his words seemed to carry, Azula knew her brother all too well. Reluctantly, she let the others carry her away, clenching her fist tightly as she fought back an urge to scream from sheer pain. Zuko's promise taunted her the whole way.
He was always a terrible liar.