Silence reigned for a moment, the weight of the realization crashing down on the adults present. The three children, of course, just looked confused- and in Kya's case, guilty.
"I'm sorry I firebended, Mommy," she pouted, shuffling her feet with her hands clasped behind her. "But you said it wasn't a bad thing, so I wanted to show Izumi."
Katara turned to her daughter and smiled warmly despite the storm that ravaged her from within. "You don't have to apologize, honey. You did the right thi-"
"Kiyi," Ursa cut in, "take the kids elsewhere. The adults need to have a talk." Her tone was the harshest Katara had ever heard.
Kiyi's face twisted in a scowl. "Why can't I stay? I'm not a little kid!"
Ursa gazed steadily at her daughter. "I know you're not, which is why I need you to do the mature thing and keep an eye on the little ones while I speak to your brother and Lady Katara."
Katara saw Kiyi grasp the severity of the situation from the understanding that flashed in her eyes.
"Alright," the teenager said, then quietly slipped out of the room with the girls. As the doors closed behind them, it felt as though the air in the room turned to ice. Heart pounding in her ears, Katara turned back to Ursa, sparing a quick glance at Zuko on the way. He was still staring at the ground and was sitting as rigid as a statue. His whole face, even the tip of his ears, was red, and she doubted she looked any different. Once she was fully turned to Ursa, Katara lowered her gaze onto her teacup, too afraid to look the woman in the eye.
"Lady Katara," Ursa said, her voice as sharp as a knife, "I'd like to speak with my son privately, if you don't mind."
Katara hesitated, biting her lip- Ursa had a right to ask that, of course she did, but... shouldn't she stay, support Zuko? This situation- Kya's parentage- was as much her own doing as it was Zuko's...
Zuko must have noticed her indecision, as he slightly lifted his head to give her a shy smile. "It's okay, Katara. You can go."
Gulping, Katara got to her feet and curtsied to Ursa- the woman was the mother of the Fire Lord, after all. Then, she silently walked out of the room and shut the doors behind her. There were guards and maids lining the hallway, but she disregarded their curious looks, leaned backward on the wall opposite the double doors, closed her eyes, and sighed.
Zuko had told her to go, and she had, but he'd said nothing of where she had to go, or how far.
Her mind wandered as she stood there, drifting back to that Peace Summit, how things had gotten out of hand, and the choices she'd made afterwards, leading to this current mess. She knew she should have told Aang about everything that had happened that night. But she was too afraid of how he would react, so she'd kept her mouth shut. And look how things had turned out now...
She sighed again and wrapped her arms around her torso. Whatever Zuko and his mother were speaking about couldn't be good. The doors were too thick for her to pick out their words, but judging by the calm tone of their muffled voices, she'd say things weren't going too badly. Minutes turned into hours as she waited and waited and waited. She debated going to check on the children, but surely Kiyi would have come and got them if there was a problem, and besides, she just couldn't bring herself to move right now, the guilt and shame pressing her to the ground.
Finally, the doors opened and Zuko stepped out of the room. By that time, she'd gotten tired from treading up and down the hallway and sat down against a wall, her knees pulled to her chest, arms wrapped around her legs. The moment he stepped out, all of the maids curtsied and the guards bowed, and Katara jumped to her feet. He seemed even more miserable than before, with his shoulders hunched and looking like he'd aged 10 years within hours. Without looking up from the ground, he dismissed the guards and maids with a simple wave of his hand. The servants quickly dispersed out of the hallway, leaving the two young adults alone.
"So… How'd it go?" Katara asked after a brief period of tense silence.
Zuko shrugged, his eyes still glued to the floor. "Better than I imagined, honestly."
Katara wanted to reach out to him, to hold him in her arms and tell him everything would be alright like she'd done countless times in their teenage years. But she held herself back- things were too complicated right now for such an affectionate move. More silence followed before Zuko hastily glanced at her and returned his gaze back to the ground.
"She said she wanted to talk to you," he said at last.
Katara's throat constricted even if she'd expected as much. She couldn't imagine Ursa being very pleased with her, a married woman, sleeping with Ursa's son, then having his child and keeping her a secret for three years. Drawing a shaky breath into her lungs, Katara nodded and forced herself to walk past Zuko and back into the study to face Ursa and whatever judgment or condemnation the woman had in store for her.
No matter what, though, she vowed, she wouldn't let Kya be taken away from her. She'd already lost Bumi, at least for now, and that made tears sting her eyes. She would never give up her daughter too.
Before she even fully entered the room, the Dowager Lady's ice-cold eyes bore into her skull. Katara swallowed the lump in her throat and lowered her gaze once more.
"Please, take a seat," Ursa said, gesturing to the crimson pillow across the low table. Katara did as she was told and kneeled on the pillow, looking down at her tea that had gone cold.
"I assume you know why I asked you here," Ursa broke the silence growing in the room.
Katara nodded slightly and opened her mouth to apologize, but Ursa raised a hand for her to stop.
"I don't want to hear apologies. I think you know you handled this situation badly, keeping it a secret and waiting for it to explode in your face. You only caused more pain, for yourself, your husband and my son, through concealing the truth for so long."
Katara gulped, unable to even lift her head and meet Ursa's gaze.
The older woman sighed, and her next words were spoken in a gentler tone. "That said, I do understand how it feels to be pressed into a marriage due to others' expectations, when your heart lies elsewhere, and what feeling trapped can drive you to do. But you have to understand. Zuko is the Fire Lord. He cannot afford to have scandals like this. What do you think will happen when people hear that he had an affair with you, the Avatar's wife? The peace you all worked tirelessly to achieve is already fragile. The other nations might see this as Zuko defying the peace treaties and him taking a step in the direction of starting another war. And don't even get me started on how the Fire Nation itself will react to its leader having an illegitimate child, with a foreigner no less."
Katara winced at her words, but had to acknowledge them as true. She felt compelled to say, "Aang knows that Kya isn't his. That's why he... had us both leave." She couldn't get herself to admit he'd kicked them out.
Ursa arched a brow. "But he doesn't know who fathered your daughter?"
Katara's gaze returned to her hands. "No. I... don't want to hurt him any more, or ruin his and Zuko's friendship. All I've ever tried to do is make things work for everyone else, for most of my life." She forced herself to shrug, trying to look glib. "You see what happens when I do things for myself. I ruin everything."
She felt Ursa's hand rest atop hers on the table. The gesture, and the kind look in Ursa's eyes, were comforting, and for some reason, Katara found herself talking: about how she'd found Aang all those years ago, when she'd been fourteen and still mostly in charge of caring for her brother and her village, how she'd easily slipped into caring for Aang during their adventures, and how, over time, his crush on her had developed, and in her determination not to hurt Aang in any way, she'd ignored her own feelings and doubts, and given him what he wanted- a relationship (and later, marriage)- to make him happy. Tears were pricking in her eyes by the time she reached the part of the tale where Zuko joined their team, and how, slowly, Katara had realized her feelings for him, and how confused she'd been by it, when her 'place'- as she'd seen it back then- was by Aang's side.
"Oh, you poor girl," Ursa said once the waterbender was done, her voice so kind that it reminded Katara of her own mother. "You've been through so much. But I promise this will all pass- you just have to give it some time."
Katara let out a deep, shaky breath, finding comfort in Ursa's caring words and touch. Her tears were running down her cheeks now, and she couldn't find the energy in herself to stop them.
Ursa held out a scarlet handkerchief to her, and Katara took the silky fabric to wipe away her tears. "You should go speak with Zuko," Ursa suggested, "I think you two have a lot to discuss."
Katara sniffled and gave a faint nod to the woman, before thanking her for the kind words and getting up to find the Fire Lord.
"And," Ursa said just as Katara was opening the doors, "if you wouldn't mind, could I meet my new granddaughter properly? When you're ready?"
Katara gave a sad smile and uttered a quiet "Of course," then left the room. She trod through the hallways to get to Zuko's room, pausing more than once to ask maids and servants the way, and stopped once she arrived at the gigantic doors of his chambers. She remembered the times she'd been standing here, in this exact place, right after the war had ended and gone inside to have drawn-out healing sessions with Zuko- though it was more of an opportunity for them to converse and laugh all they wanted without being bothered by anyone else, really.
Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door.
"Come in," came Zuko's voice from inside.
Katara hesitantly slid the door open to find him standing in his chambers, apparently having stopped in the middle of pacing back and forth across the room. He looked at her in the eyes for the first time since the revelation of Kya's true parentage. There was pain in his eyes- pain and concern. He took a step toward her, and she did the same.
"I hope Mother didn't berate you too much," he said, stepping closer so that they stood an arm's-length apart.
Katara played with her hands. "No. Not too much. She was actually quite sympathetic."
Zuko nodded slowly. "She always was, even if she didn't agree with something, she always wanted to understand the reasoning behind it, and help if she could."
"She wants to meet Kya. Properly, I mean, as her granddaughter." Katara fidgeted as she spoke, hoping to gain some idea of Zuko's feelings on the matter. Just how public did he want to go with Kya's heritage? Ursa had made a good point, after all- the Fire Lord having a child with the Avatar's wife would be a political disaster.
Zuko ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know, I... I'm not ashamed to have another daughter, nor that you're her mother, but..."
"It's going to get very complicated, I know." Katara sighed.
Zuko rubbed the back of his neck. "The Fire Sages might be able to advise us, or, I don't know, maybe Uncle will have some ideas..."
Katara averted her eyes and held her arm. "Yeah... That's a good idea." She closed her eyes again, her shoulders slumping. "This is such a mess... So many people are going to judge us, our families and friends are going to be angry, or hurt, or both, and it could've been avoided if I hadn't been so reckless, or if I hadn't lied- to myself, to Aang, to you, for so long..."
"Katara, don't say that," Zuko said softly. "None of this is your fault. We both agreed to keep everything a secret. You only did what we agreed on regarding Kya."
"But if I hadn't gone against my instincts and married Aang despite how I felt about you, then-" Katara clapped her hand over her mouth: she hadn't meant to say that out loud!
Zuko's eyes widened. "You... You liked me? Even back then?"
She avoided his eyes. "...It doesn't matter now. I always knew you didn't feel the same way. That night, at the Peace Summit, you were just hurting over Mai leaving, and I shouldn't have taken advantage-"
Before she could finish her sentence, Zuko closed the distance between them and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. He rested his scarred cheek on her hair and held the back of her neck.
"You should have told me sooner," he spoke softly, barely above a whisper. "I kept quiet because I thought Aang made you happy, that he was what you wanted when the war ended. I've never stopped wishing I'd said something before you married him."
Katara leaned into him. She bunched handfuls of his robe in her palm and buried her face in his neck. In his warm embrace, the regret and heartbreak she'd been holding back all these years broke through the barriers of her heart. "I'm sorry," she whispered into the shoulder piece of his regalia. Her eyes burned, and she let her tears flow freely this time. "I'm sorry," she said again, her voice heavy with sorrow. "I'm so sorry."
They stood there, embracing, taking comfort in the other's presence, without speaking a single word. Both were still burdened with the reality that, whatever their feelings, life was too complicated for them to act on them, despite- or rather, because of- Kya's paternity. There was nothing they could say or do to change the repercussions this would inevitably cause, but it was as Ursa had said- with time, this would all pass. And perhaps then, when the scandal and rumor had died down, they could have the life they had both been secretly dreaming of for years.