PART ONE

Chapter Three

Hange fastened the key on the copper lock as soon as she was inside the quarters. Nanaba went out with Mike, so she'll most likely have enough for herself. Enough time to think, to reconsider. Erwin's words embedded heavily in her skull, and she suddenly found herself immobilized as if she were programmed to heed his advice and withdraw her plans to capture a Titan.

She headed over to her bed, the lower bunk of the double-deck, and sat down with hands folded over her lips. "Months of planning… and for what? Nothing? I've prepared myself for something like this… but why couldn't I… why could I give myself an answer? What the hell am I supposed to do now?" she thought aloud.

Hange raised her head, eyes adjusting to the low light that dappled around the dark room. Her fingers found their way to the bridge of her nose, removed her glasses, and settled it on her nightstand next to the framed portrait of a polished old man donning a lab gown over his dark grey suit.

Grandpa.

The last of her mother's letters came last week. She had read it all at the laboratory, and in her distraction, caused a small explosion which an irate new recruit cleaned up reluctantly. In the letters, she had read her mother's regrets and her father's apologies—confessions that would've been more meaningful if only she'd seen them say those words themselves. Until, she had opened another envelope that enclosed the news that their graveside eulogies had been recently delivered by the Military Police.

Hange didn't know what to feel. They've always been strangers to her, and after she'd moved away with her grandfather, she never thought it possible that certain people could be forgotten so easily. Nonetheless, she was never ungrateful. They had nurtured her, raised her, provided her what she needed. They had cared, to some degree, and although it was vain and hollow for her back then, they fared to give her memories she'd look back to.

She let out a huff, wishing she could at least read their eulogies; that way, she could have known them a little better.

Yet, in her mother's last letter to her, she came across something that she cared more about: her mother's personal narrative behind her grandfather's death. She read through it carefully, with her mother's voice.

Erwin's anecdotes relative to the Military Police and his father convinced her that they've done it, and she wanted to believe it, but her mother's words showed otherwise—her story was that the frantic call from the midnight relief nurse wakened her in her boudoir, screaming and crying. Her grandfather had gone out of the Walls on his own, because he believed that the truth, out there, called to him. And that he was running out of his time. He had written to her mother, begging that they take her back after she finishes her schooling. She was never to learn where he went, for if she did, she would surely follow. Then, the Titans had killed him. He had stridden into his own grave.

Hange's eyebrows furrowed as she tugged at the base of her truculent ponytail, repressing any urges to scream or weep. She isn't a little girl anymore, and big girls don't cry.

Feeling her hair loose and her body against the cushion of her bed only made her realize the amount of tension she's asserted her body to endure throughout the past weeks. She moved her head to look at her grandfather, his riddling gaze reflecting her own. He was right. She would surely follow.

Hange closed her eyes, picturing his solemn yet kindly face. She didn't have to think twice to spell out what he would have done if he were in this situation: he would've left a letter on his desk, articulating that nothing momentous is ever accomplished without sacrifice, before setting off to embark on his mission driven by a single objective. Yet unfortunately, the attempt to achieve such a noble goal through knowledge and perseverance alone are not enough, and that was what eventually led to his downfall.

In silent acquiescence, Hange recognized that in the end, her grandfather was foolhardy.

Nevertheless, his mistakes have shed light on the key to resolving her current conundrum. This time, she had a plan. This time, she had options. It took a while to see it, but she realized that this time, she had him.

Feeling a surge of energy unleash within her, Hange suddenly leapt out of bed and bumped against the surface of the upper bunk. "Argh, shit!" she cussed, placing a hand over her sore forehead. In her excitement, she eventually ignored the throbbing pain and began to lay out the weeks' worth of planning on the floor, jotting down notes and summarizing points in a separate notebook. After she would be done with that, she only needed to think of one more important thing: How does one get the most disagreeable person to agree to a plan that seemed utterly disagreeable?

Hange brought it up so nonchalantly, as she leaned against the wooden pillar and watched him brush his dark-maned horse on a late Monday morning. His was a beautiful mare, she noted privately, with her sharp eyes, long lashes, and gleaming onyx coat.

Apparently, Erwin's advice didn't hammer its way into her head as thoroughly as he assumed. That, or the adamant woman merely decided that she played by her own rules. "Let me get this straight, Four Eyes… you mean to capture a Titan and bring it inside the walls without anyone else—not even the Scouts—finding out?" Levi asked. He sounded so indifferent that Hange was unsure whether he really understood her or was masking his astonishment.

"Yes. I mean, no, everyone else is eventually going to find out about it—Erwin knows about it, but as I've mentioned, he told me not to do it so I didn't get any sort of official permission from the higher-ups—" Hange began.

"Well, that makes it a teensy bit harder for me to agree now, don't you think?"

"Pleeeaaase, Levi. I'm sorry if it seems that way, but I've got no other choice. It's just that…" Hange swallowed nervously. "It's just that I've been working so hard on this plan for weeks and I'm certain that capturing a Titan is a step forward for humanity. It just so happened that you're the strongest and most talented soldier there is and I thought it would be a lot easier for me to pull this through with your help!"

"I'm not buying your sweet talk."

"I'm not—! You catch my drift, don't you? Levi, you know I can't bring anyone else into this. My closest comrades already think I'm planning something so unbelievably preposterous as it is. There's no one else I could turn to."

"They have every reason to think so. Hange, what makes you think that I'd be willing to play along your little exploit if they disagreed?"

"I didn't suppose you would agree, believe me. But I've got to try. And as much as I knew it was going to be futile…" Hange paused, struggling for the right words. "As much as I do regard my comrades' words, there are times when things are left for only us to decide. Most of the time those are the most difficult decisions to make."

Levi didn't know what to say or think. He's been with the Survey Corps for over several months, but was often either by himself or was following Erwin around. However, in the few encounters he's had with this particular Scout with the shit-stained glasses, he's come to realize that more often than not, things around him aren't as blunt as they had used to be. Hange could be so cryptic, and sometimes she made no sense at all. Yet this somehow prompted his willingness to learn more about her and what made her so different. "Anything else you'd like to tell me about your shitty stunt?"

Hange blinked, bewildered at his sudden albeit slight indication of interest. "Oh, well there's… um, originally the plan is to capture one at night since Titans are mostly inactive when there is no sunlight. However, I do fear that the moonlight—given that it still primarily consists of sunlight reflected on the surface of the moon—might trigger some unforeseen movement. Well, that's kind of just an untested hypothesis too, so far—but, anyways! Since it's just the two of us and we don't have the option to move about freely at night, I was thinking of going with Operation: Paralysis and Delayed Recuperation. This is how it works: We incite quadriplegia by cutting specific areas on the arms and legs. I've determined that the major anterior muscles—specifically, the biceps brachii and biceps femoris—recover the slowest relative to the entire body. Anything else above the shoulders, especially the head, heals back the quickest. Now, once it's paralyzed, we'll have roughly about five to seven minutes of further restraining the big sack of meat before dragging it in with our horses. The Titan will continue to recover, say every seven to ten minutes, and you'll need to keep inflicting the injuries until we make it to the site…"

Levi kept his stoic gaze on her, half-listening to the bullshit that was spewing from her mouth. She continued to explain animatedly, her hands thrusting all over and her fingers twitching as if she were playing an invisible piano. Why did he even bother to ask?

"Perhaps we could begin our search in the southwest since my recent data showed that Titans don't often accumulate in that area. If we're fortunate maybe we'd encounter a four to seven-meter class…" Hange decided that she had summarized well enough, and that the other delicate details could come after. She didn't want to screw up any fragile chances she had with getting Levi to concur with the terms. She wanted him to be fully committed to doing this reckless plan with her, but she also wanted him to be the one left unscathed should they be caught in the worse manner possible.

Levi returned the brush inside the basket, methodically placing it alongside the other essentials he used in caring for his mare. He fed her a carrot before heading outside into the sunlight. "Well, Four Eyes, I must say you did your homework."

"So, that means you'll do it? You'll help me?" she asked, hopeful. She followed, walking alongside him and shading her eyes.

"I didn't say that."

Hange paused, feeling as if an iron bar had fallen on her. "W-Wait! But you said—"

"I said that you did your homework. It should've implied that I was simply giving you credit—not exactly the same as agreeing to join in. You're always so sharp even with those shitty glasses, I thought you would've immediately seen the difference." She placed herself in front of him, staring fiercely at his airy blue-grey gaze. Levi stopped walking. "Hey, stop blocking the way, Titan-sized aberration."

"How could you?!" Hange snapped. "Hasn't anything I've said gone through you? Doesn't it matter to you when I said that you're all I've got?"

"Well, hasn't anything Erwin said gone through you?" Levi tested, folding his arms across his chest.

"But that's… that's different."

"Maybe, maybe not. My point is that there is too much at risk and with the Survey Corps' reputation in a pile of horse shit, there's nothing much we can do. You'll have to wait it out. You said it so yourself: you desire for humanity to move forward. You couldn't make that wish come true in just a day. Don't be an idiot, Hange."

Hange's eyes eased and the tension throughout her body slowly faded down. If everyone else told her the same thing, then that meant that they were right and she was wrong. Hasn't it always been that way? Still, listening to what other people had to say wasn't her strongest point. Like her grandfather, she was unpredictable, and she couldn't sit by idly. Hange was young.

"Oh, I understand. I understand perfectly. Thank you, Levi," Hange chortled, stepping aside. "Everyone's been telling me the same thing. Oh, I've lost so many hours of sleep, I must be losing it!"

"Then go to bed and get some sleep."

"Hmm, yes, maybe I think I will. I'll do something someone else tells me, for a change." In an abrupt sweep, as the warm morning breeze shifted in its direction, Hange took Levi's hand and stared into the passive eyes that masterfully concealed his disconcertion. "I'm going… I'm going to do it."

Levi sat quietly on the bed beside the pile of neatly folded towels still warm from the sun, trying to soak in everything Hange had said. As usual, she was the one who would strike up a conversation as soon as she found him, though he didn't expect the sudden intricate explanation of her plans to capture a Titan to be their latest subject of conversation. As he began to arrange the towels inside the drawers, his mind drifted to the encounters he's had with her in the kitchens and in the training grounds.

It was no surprise that what stood out in Hange was her intelligence. However, coupled with her impulsiveness, cunning, and persistence, she was also a concoction for trouble. Levi fell victim to this when he had underestimated her wits and inclination to play dirty. Now, somehow, he felt as if a sense of déjà vu torrented over him, recalling when she had suddenly thanked him and had given him that mischievous smile.

"I'm going to do it." Hange had told him before running back inside with a grin that stretched across her face. It was strange. What exactly did she mean…

Levi dropped the towel on his grasp, feeling as if his fingers suddenly went numb. "Goddamn it, Hange!" he screamed inwardly. Grabbing his emerald cloak, he was about to reach for the knob when the door swiftly slid open revealing a winded Erwin Smith and a terrified young scout behind him. Like him, he was already dressed in his full uniform with the exception of the omnidirectional-mobility gear.

"Heads up, Levi. We're heading out ASAP. Hange is missing," Erwin declared, visibly distressed.

They headed towards the backroom without a second's delay, their ODM gear prepped and waiting for them. "Missing?" Levi clarified. His eyebrows furrowed tightly although he maintained his calm.

"Yes, Sir," interjected the young soldier who was with Erwin. Sand-blonde hair and a reproachful look. He knew this one. Moblit Berner. A new recruit and the laboratory assistant designated to help Hange with her research.

"I was supposed to retrieve some documents in her quarters, as she requested, but when I walked inside I saw a letter on her desk and, instinctively, I thought those were the documents she was referring to. After a closer look, however, I recognized it was actually a letter for Commander Sadies explaining her intentions to capture a Titan and hide it in a secured area within the walls. I informed the commander and he sent me to tell Squad Leader Erwin to gather his team and rescue her," Moblit explained. As they entered the barracks, his façade seemed to cascade. "In her letter, Miss Hange said that even though she was fully prepared to die, she would never allow harm upon anyone else. If she perceives the worse—that her mission would eventually fail—she would allow herself to be eaten," he noted ruefully.

"That fucking moron," Levi seethed.

Erwin glimpsed at him, but said nothing. Instead, he marched on. "Mike and Nanaba are already waiting for us outside. The commander believes that Hange is a vital asset to our arsenal, so it's of the utmost importance that we find her alive." He turned his head to Moblit. "You stay here, Moblit. You're the one who's most familiar with Hange's line of work. Thus, if circumstances come to its worst, we wouldn't have lost everything."

Moblit was about to protest but was immediately silenced when he noticed the subtle poison in the glare Levi shot him. He gulped, then gave a firm salute as the soldiers stepped out into the emerging dusk.

"Damn Four Eyes knew what she was getting into—she knew her chances were slim, but still decided to put herself in danger. Shit. I should've seen this coming," Levi muttered.

Erwin furtively turned his eyes to the man beside him. He could sense the suppressed rage in his voice, veiled through his calm demeanour. This was a spontaneous mission, one that could easily be as dangerous as the usual expeditions, but it wasn't as relatively threatening as the seething man beside him. "Focus, Levi. Our mission is to find and save Hange. The self-loathing and interrogations can come afterwards," Erwin blithely reminded.

"Oh, I will find her," Levi began. "It's just a matter of trusting myself not to kill her before the Titans do."

Hange Zoë was nervous, depleted, running on her will. The solid gallops of her stallion muffled the rhythmic sound of her heartbeat as it pulsated within her chest. She hated that they told her she shouldn't do it and she hated it even more that she knew they were right. But she had already convinced herself that there was no other way. Her grandpa would have told her so. For a few moments she had felt an alien consciousness loose in her head, slapping things off the shelves like a bear in a camper.

She galloped at full speed southwest of the Shiganshina District and tried to monitor her breathing. When she was a fair distance from the walls she began to straighten herself, reciting the plan she went through several times, over and over like a mantra. Get out, head southwest, claim a Titan no larger than five meters, paralyze and delay its recovery, then head to the secret base to the west of the wall—the safest and most discreet passage. A tent, several supplies, medical apparatus, and the Titan-restraining equipment are all prepared. She just had to make it out alive. What happens after I capture a Titan can wait, Hange mentally noted, bringing herself back to the present.

Weeks of strategizing and preparation, countless hours with no sleep and sustenance, dreams that had turned into concrete plans. Hange was ready to give her all. There was no point in waiting for anyone else to give her a signal, in making her standby on the sidelines and watch as more of her comrades die. The Scouts know nothing about the Titans, and the answers were mere gaps ahead of her, waiting to be grasped.

It's been several minutes since she's exited headquarters. Sadies would've already been notified by now and he must have sent a team to search for her. There was no telling if they would find her or not. A thought she did not relish nor relied on.

A few more minutes passed. Then, a subtle change in her surroundings made her realize a sudden miscalculation. Over the horizon, she watched with burgeoning fear as massive dark clouds loomed across the twilight sky, covering the orange-blue hues with deep shadows of grey. She felt a sudden jolt in her nerves. Her heartbeat sped up again. It was a slight inadvertent omission, something so unexpected—so trifling—and she cursed herself for it. She kicked her horse on the side, riding faster and setting a trail of panic along the pavement. If she were fast and lucky enough, she could encounter one isolated Titan before the rain could teem down stronger.

But it was too late. As she raised her head towards the sky, large droplets of cold rain began to fall, pattering against her face and on the soil beneath. The rain fell fast, torrential.

Hange pulled her hood over her head. She trudged on forward. With heavy rain came the misty fog, and that would make her situation all the more difficult, dangerous. As her time was cut even shorter, the decision to back down and retreat presented itself in her mind.

She quickly refused it. She was too far from the walls and too deep in Titan territory now. Encountering a Titan and surviving had the same probability whether she returned to the district, remained where she was, or marched on forward.

She rode to a small area where a few trees gathered. She knew this place well. A comrade had fallen here, shredded to pieces by a six-meter abnormal. Her senses immediately picked up the familiar fragrances of grass and the murky earth, traces which she had associated with the blood and death of a hundred good scouts lost to them. Ever since she joined the Survey Corps, she was willing to call this place her deathbed, but till then, as long as she had her goals right in front of her, she focused on surviving.

Perhaps her idea of waiting a few minutes under the cold rain worked out well enough. Not far from her ten o'clock was a five-meter class, seemingly unaware of her presence. Hange double-checked her surroundings. It was possible that the Titan was alone for now, and of all people, she knew that Titans were not solitary creatures. Like wolves, it is likely one would present itself before the rest of the pack rushed in for the attack. Yet, Titans did not possess the same collective intelligence that a pack of wolves did, thus if she were to attack this Titan, it was unlikely that a horde would come in to rescue their fellow. No, they did not function that way. With her assessment of the situation and her time running thin, Hange decided she had to take the chance.

She unsheathed her blades, brandishing the ODM gear beneath her soaked cloak, and sent the metal claw flying to a nearby oak. She zipped across the field, embracing the icy breeze and showers that poured over her.

This was a safe distance to watch the Titan as it meandered around aimlessly. She laid her eyes on the monster as if it were her first. There was a terrible beauty in them, might and swiftness. It tilted its head watching the clouds, heaving like a thirsty hog, then sat on the ground, always facing where the rain fell. Hange felt a surge of blood and adrenaline rush throughout her body, her face growing hot.

She was going to do it.

Of all times, her body suddenly went still, and her mind wandered to her days in the training camp, several years before. She remembered what it was like to first encounter the ODM gear. The elaborate sophistications of the machine fascinated her, and she treated the one assigned to her like a mechanical child. Yet, like her love for Titans, the affection was unrequited, and she had had several accidents during the practices with the ODM gear. In fact, she had found it difficult to pass the first examination wherein they simply needed to balance themselves in the centre of two ropes fastened to a belt—to be "loose and tight" at the same time. Yet practice builds proficiency. Months turned to years rapidly, and when she'd entered the Survey Corps, she was easily recognized as one of the most competent users of the ODM gear. Pain turned her into a fighter.

Though not as strong and skilled as Levi or Mike, she knew that if she concentrated well enough she'd be able to perform the manoeuvre effectively. Lateral cuts above and below the arms, same with the knees, then the heels, she rehearsed, taking the hood of her cloak off. She closed her eyes and released a breath. Here goes nothing…

Jumping off the oak, she shot the metal claws of her ODM to the Titan's neck seconds after she dropped and flung herself forward, shouting out a battle cry. She proceeded to blind the Titan before jumping off and sliding across the damp grass to slash at its heels. Immediately, the Titan tumbled forward as volumes of white steam unleashed from its wounds.

Skillfully dodging before the Titan could topple over her, Hange didn't delay a second in cutting the flesh behind its knees, then hopping over the giant's thighs, she prepared to finish the job.

A crow called, a breeze rattled the branches above her, and then the distorted screams split the rain. Out of the mist now they came, two Titans—an eight-meter and ten-meter class, respectively—with their savage faces, wolf-like in their speed, long-legged and deep-chested, swelling, glistening skin.

The adrenaline coursing through her body made her react quickly enough to dash away and find higher ground, flying from tree to tree. Shit, they must have heard them through the rain. Dive. Jump. Evade. Again, and again.

From the corner of her eye, she could see the paralyzed Titan healing fast, and she knew there was no other choice but to kill the two newcomers. Their sights were dead set on her and she trembled within. One misstep and she'd find herself inside their mouths, their teeth gnashing away at her delicate human flesh. She knew this much—expected this much. Now, it was time to fight.

They were not as fast as her. She had that advantage. She noticed that the eight-meter seemed to follow behind the ten-meter like a child to a parent. It'd be easier to take that one down first. She pierced the metal claw through the ten-meter's shoulder, swung herself forward, released, jumped high, and with her blades at the ready, sliced through eight-meter's nape. One meter long, ten centimetres wide. Swift. Clean.

One down. One to go. The ten-meter preferred to use its large hands, swatting away as if it were trying to catch a flying insect. If Titans could show emotions, this one was definitely infuriated with her. Hange giggled at the idea of a Titan throwing a tantrum. Humour was a good coping strategy sometimes.

She shot her line on the muscle behind its knee and skated across the grass, as she did earlier with the four-meter. Cut the heel. Dodge the fall. Slice through the nape. Hurry.

Too slow.

Just after she had eliminated the ten-meter, the four-meter had recovered just enough of its legs to seize her torso in its clutches.

Hange could feel the air from her lungs slowly gushing out, her breath catching in her throat. She couldn't scream from the pain. Her gaze moved from the barren eyes of her captor to the dusk sky above her, remorseful she couldn't quite fully see the quarter moon covered by the rain clouds. Like the inescapable, tenebrous death looming over her.

She was suddenly a twenty-five-year-old woman, alone, with a potentially ruined military service career and wrecked weapons, inside the crushing hold of a Titan's hand. Amidst the rain, the fog, and her dirtied goggles, she saw herself clearly, saw the foolishness that mirrored her grandfather's. She wanted desperately to become a child again. Her body moved slower, she was getting dizzy. She could hear herself struggling for oxygen, darkness taking over her senses.

Then came the sharp sound of a blade in the cluster of the trees and Levi's daunting voice. "I knew I'd find you here."

The four-meter had barely enough time to make a sound. Death came over fleetingly. Hange couldn't seem to hear what was happening, her eyes drawing to a close. She was numb, barely feeling anything when her body dropped to the muddy ground.

Only the gentle sound of the rain now.

Levi sheathed his blades and glanced at the body over his shoulder. She was laying on her side, left arm stretched and the right positioned in an awkward angle, one side of her face against the mud and the other susceptible to the tempestuous wind.

Levi knelt down beside her and carefully brought her face to his. "Tch. You're damn filthy, Shitty Glasses." He slid her goggles above her forehead, and felt his breath suddenly catch in his throat. No, he couldn't be too late. He took her cold hand in his and placed a finger on her wrist, wishing for a pulse.

Hange was still, but at the faint trace of warmth, strived to open her eyes.

"Hange?" Levi cried out when he saw her shoulders slowly start to rise and fall.

"You… actually found me…" She managed to weakly chuckle as her vision failed.

"Shut up, moron. I'm getting you out of here." Levi lifted Hange in his arms and backed fast toward his horse, advancing carefully lest any more Titans appear in the vicinity. She was lighter than he expected; still, he struggled in carrying her up to his mare before getting on himself. He found her horse nearby and with a piercing whistle, beckoned the stallion to follow.

Levi saw no Titans coming from the field. The rain finally began to cease, and he shot a green flare, hoping his comrades would see it. He'll shoot once more when they approach the gates of Wall Maria.

They rode on in peaceful silence for a few minutes. The sun began its descent behind the mountains, again painting the sky in shades of dark orange and purple. Hange's forehead rested on the back of his head, and Levi could feel her soft breaths against his nape. She was wrapped in his cloak, the less damp of the two, and she shivered feebly when she felt the cold whiff against them.

In silent acquiescence, Hange recognized that she too was foolhardy.

"Sorry… Levi. Sorry."

Levi heard her, but didn't answer. He kept his gaze straight, forward. This troublesome woman, he did not know what to make of her. He wanted to forgive her, to make sense of what she's done. With the few exchanges he's had with her and with the stories Erwin had disclosed, he could only manage a possible reason that led to her defiance.

Perhaps, someone as blessed and, at the same time, as wretched as her had nothing to prove. This was a girl who rejected a life in a place like Wall Sheena, where everything else in their world paled in comparison. Where choices made with uncertainty had brought her where she was. Uncertain but with no regrets. Her principle dictates she take responsibility for her mistakes, and yet, she believed the value of her actions cannot be determined by external validation. As an individual, this could be perceived as virtuous, but for a Scout, a soldier whose self is construed as fundamentally connected to the ranks, this could be problematic. And Hange is still a Scout.

But he knew there was more—that there was so still much more to think of. So much to ask. He longed to know why, but he didn't want to pepper her with questions at this time, not after the trouble she's put herself in. All those could wait.

Nevertheless, for the first time in a long time, Levi was grateful and relieved. He had found her in time. She was alive because of him. Hange was alive.

Seven minutes later, Erwin Smith, currently positioned fifteen meters from the Shiganshina District gate, looked up toward the distant sound of galloping horses. Levi had found her and brought her back. Just as he said he would. The weight was lifted off his chest.

Erwin raised his arm toward the darkening sky and shot a green flare.

…