As I was reading the newspaper that morning, something inside me contracted painfully. My fingers literally scrunched up the paper as soon as I saw the headline. I was struggling for breath and was unable to organize my thoughts, everything was whirling around in my head.

'Steve Rogers disappeared'.

"It can't be", I whispered.

'According to reports, Steve Grant Rogers, alias Captain America, piloted the bomber plane of Johann Schmidt, head of HYDRA, over the sea and crash-landed in the Arctic. So far, there is no trace of his body.'

"Oh my God."

I felt tears welling up in my eyes and eventually running down my cheeks. James had always talked about how he was sure his best friend since childhood would one day rescue him from HYDRA's clutches. Just like he had done before. I knew he would be more than devastated when he found out. Still, it felt like betrayal if I kept it from him. We only had each other here now, we had to stick together.

As if in a trance, I tore off the front page, folded it up, and put it in the pocket of my lab coat. His cell was not far from my room, so with quick steps I reached it in no time.

Wiping the tears of my face with my sleeve, I forced a smile before the agent guarding the door could see me. Without asking too many questions, he opened it and closed it again after I had slipped inside. I visited James every day, so it was no big deal that I was here now.

"Oh Doc, it's you," he noticed and even grinned a little.

I knew it did him as much good as it did me to see a friendly person. Sometimes we would see each other for a few minutes just to talk. I felt like our regular conversations were the only thing that kept me sane and happy. Only today I had no good intentions.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, getting up from his bed.

Well, if you could call it a bed. A mattress on a shaky metal frame. It looked terribly uncomfortable and seemed like it was falling apart just from looking at it. As often as he complained about his back, this was probably the case.

With a heavy heart and again wet eyes, I slowly pulled out the wrinkled piece of paper. The words stuck in my throat, they were just a little sob. That was all I could get out. Although I was often unhappy since I was stuck in HYDRA's captivity, I hardly ever cried. But now it felt like a part of me was dead, too. Rogers was the living proof of what my father had believed in. I knew he had trusted Steve and he was the last thing left of my parents.

My counterpart looked at me as if he didn't know if he would even want to read the newspaper report in my hands if it evoked such a reaction from me, but finally took it.

"I...", he lowered his hands a bit and stopped in the middle of his sentence.

His whole body shook and tensed and I was overcome with the need to hug him. Frustrated, he scrunched up the newspaper and threw it into the nearest corner before collapsing on the spot. He knelt on the floor and screamed Steve's name. I winced. I had really heard him scream many times before and seen him in despair but the scene that presented itself was so heartbreaking and breath taking that I couldn't help but settle down next to him. He hit the ground with his human fist, the skin bursting from the sheer force of his frustration. Blood ran down his fingers and he finally switched hands. Metal thundered against the floor again and again and he breathed heavily as he destroyed the concrete beneath him.

It didn't look like he was going to stop anytime soon.

"Bucky," I said softly and put a hand on his shoulder.

He immediately swatted it away and buried his face in his hands. Again his body shook and he was still screaming. Blood mixed with tears and he interrupted his desperate cries only to sob in between.

Again I put an arm around him, but this time he allowed it and leaned a bit against me.

My back hurt a little, I moved back and forth in the chair and crossed my legs. I placed the file on the small rolling table next to me so I could rest my elbow on my knee and my chin on my hand. Definitely, the pain was from sitting in the same position for far too long.

I had been able to convince Zola to let me join my patient in the training room. On the one hand because I enjoyed the presence of James, on the other hand because I was interested in the extent of the increased endurance of the super-soldier serum. The scientist had not been happy with my suggestion at first. In the end, however, he had agreed, with the condition that I would write a report about it for him and Karpov. There was something in his glance that was knowing - it had not bypassed him that James was much more open-minded in my presence.

I had taped a couple of sensors to his body to permanently monitor his pulse and heart activity before he had stormed onto the treadmill with an unmistakable gleam in his blue-gray eyes. It would distract him and clear his head, he had said. So he'd been running with superhuman speed for a solid hour, apparently there was a lot weighing on his mind.

So far, he hadn't slowed down for even 10 seconds or seemed tired in any way. Nor had he spoken a word since he had started his training session. It seemed as if he was impressed by his stamina and wanted to push himself to the limit of his strength. Pulse slightly elevated but surprisingly okay for these conditions.

"How fast am I, Doc?" he asked at one point, interested but a little tensed.

"About 45 mph," I answered and finally stood up.

"That's all? I can do better", I saw him grinning when I arrived at the treadmill.

"Sure?", I asked in disbelief.

His grin widened and with a growling sound coming from his throat, he picked up the speed even more. Only now did it look like he was really trying. His jaw tightened and he showed his almost perfectly white teeth. I didn't know if he was doing this for himself or if he was just bragging. The treadmill made tremendous noises as he scratched at the 60 mph. HYDRA had equipped all of their divisions with really incredible modern equipment that was adapted to James' body and strength, but there seemed to be a limit to what they could do.

"Show-off," I muttered with a laugh and turned off the treadmill.

When the brunette man finally came to a stop, I only realized how out of breath he was. The smile still remained on his lips while he wiped the few pearls of sweat from his forehead with his shirt. I caught a glimpse of his muscular body and swallowed hard. Immediately I shook of my thought.

"What's next?".

"Don't overexert yourself," I said and took a look at his pulse, a little higher than before.

"C'mon, Doc," he patted his metal arm, "I want to know how much is possible with this".

I followed him with the monitor to the barbell, he was really going for it. James overheard my renewed plea not to try too much at once. We still didn't know what he was capable of. So he put weight after weight on the ends of the metal bar. 800 lbs.

"Are you sure?".

Without a word, he got down on his knees and confidently wrapped his fingers around the bar. This exercise was easy for him, without any problems he lifted it as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Told you".

Creaking, the bar landed back on the mat and he was about adding more weights. It was now about 1500 lbs heavy, there was no more weights left. But even here his strength seemed to find no end, he was visibly strained but I noticed that he could do even more if he wanted to.

Sighing, I grabbed the file and made two question marks behind the words 'strength' and 'speed'.

They had not told me where we were going. I didn't know the exact location of the first HYDRA base either, but I knew it must have been somewhere in Europe. After all, they had found James in Switzerland, it couldn't have taken long to get him to the base.

Without warning, they came into my room that morning and ordered me to pack up everything that was in there. My reports, files, and the few personal possessions I was allowed to have.

James sat alone in some sort of glass cell. Huge metal rails wrapped around his torso and arms to hold him in place. Of course he had resisted when they had strapped him in, but they had outnumbered him. Apparently I had the privilege of sharing an armored car with Zola. Karpov would be waiting for us at the new base, they said.

I had not even been allowed to see the exterior of the European base when I was escorted outside. They had put a mask over my head, James had been drugged beforehand, which had also helped against his raging fury when he was forced into his place. I was sure he was awake by now, we had been driving for hours.

Briefly, I had considered pulling off my mask, freeing myself from the firm grip of the two agents, and simply running away as soon as I felt the chill of the outside world. But I wasn't a super-soldier, after all, so I probably wouldn't have had a chance.

"Get some sleep, my dear," Dr. Zola said, bringing me out of my thoughts, "I'll need you with undivided focus and attention later".

I sighed, I had never really had restful sleep in the captivity of Hydra. I was tormented by terrible nightmares with visions of the future. Just little glimpses of what James would become with my help. What he would do for HYDRA. But also memories of my father and my brother haunted me every night when I tried to find some peace.

I didn't see anything when I was helped out of the car. But what I felt was freezing cold. Much colder than in the old with the cold, fear rose up inside me, gripping my bare ankles, crawling along my legs and embracing my entire body.

From the plans I had been given in advance, I had a faint idea of what would await me behind those doors. I shuddered.

"Dr. Erskine," in fact it was Karpov's voice that I heard before I regained my vision, "I hope the ride wasn't too bad".

Even though he was grinning and spoke so politely, I knew he would probably rather see me dead. I watched them transport James' glass prison from another armored car. Karpov stared at him with piercing eyes. He returned the stare and if it could have killed him, Karpov would no longer be with us.

"I would like to introduce you to my latest achievement, doctor".

He pronounced the word 'achievement' with so much enthusiasm and admiration that it shook me again. It was never a good thing when something joyful resonated in his voice. So I brushed my hair back a bit, straightened up, and took a deep breath. No matter what he was going to show me, it was going to be terrible.

"Our technicians have really managed to succeed. The Memory Suppression Machine will be the next big step of our plan."