True Love hidden by an Unspeakable Truth

Sayo POV:

Everyday waking up has felt like waking up to a new hell. Each day filled with emptiness and loneliness. "Why did she go?" I muttered softly as I began to clutch my head. An intense pain ran through my head, then my stomach. How long has my stomach been empty? I slowly flop onto the floor and try to stand. "I…..hate all of this." The sight of my room because of my actions is disgusting. Clothes thrown asunder and my window is shattered?

I open the door to my room and head downstairs. Having to walk after not actually moving my legs all that much is difficult. Using both hands to grip the railing, thankfully it's their or I would've immediately fallen. I finally reached the bottom, it felt like hours had passed. My eyes shift up and I notice mother in the kitchen. She notices me out of the corner of her eye and is shocked to see me.

Without missing a beat, she runs up to me and hugs me. "Thank goodness you're OK." The tone of her voice sounded desperate, as if not to lose her last daughter. I didn't say anything, I can't move my arms and my body is aching all over. Soon enough she let me go. It felt like I was going to act on impulse and shove her away. I turn around and walk towards the front door. I slowly opened it and immediately started running. I couldn't stop myself nor did I want to stop.

I don't know how long I ran for, but I ran long enough to make it to the hospital. I didn't stop running until I ended up in front of her room. I also couldn't hear anyone for some reason. I noticed some people through my tears and heavy eyelids trying to talk to me and slow me down, but it was a lost cause. I reach for the door but pause short. Why can't I walk in and see her? "What the hell is wrong with me?" I said bitterly to myself.

After a few minutes of catching my breath, I finally moved to open the door. I slowly walked inside and closed the door, but my attention never left the bed when first seeing it. My younger twin. The sight was revolting. I couldn't stand looking at it, but my legs moved again. I walked closer to the right side of her bed and sat down.

"It's been a while...hasn't it?" My throat started to get a little dry. I tried to finish that by saying her name, but I couldn't. My eyes were leaking a little after I noticed the scar on her left arm. I gripped her bed sheets as I placed my face in it. My tears would not stop flowing. As if my tears and cry of desperation would ever wake her. My hearing came back since I heard a knock at the door. The door opens slowly and it's two people I know all too well. Kasumi Toyama and Arisa Ichigaya.

"Sorry to intrude, didn't think anyone would show up today." She says as I return my attention back to Hina.

"Toyama, Ichigaya, what are you two doing here?"

"We came to check on Hina. We may not be classmates, but friends is something I would call her."

I see Kasumi turn to Arisa and ask her something. I couldn't make out what it was but Arisa soon left the room.

"I'm glad to see that Hina is recovering well."

"Why are you actually here Toyama?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Do you have a real reason to be here?"

"Uh...I would hope so since I suck at lying and everybody knows it. So saying that I wanted to check up on Hina was the truth. Arisa only came because we were going to spend time with the others later. Seeing as you're already here, I finally get to talk to you."

"What's there to talk about? What can you possibly do to help me?! Can you take away all this pain I feel?! I don't think so!"

"That's right, I can't." She walked closer and ever-so gently grabbed my hand. "But I can understand what's been going through your mind.

"What do you understand about this?"

"I wish I could say a lot, but I can't. I can say however, that if my younger sister Asuka, was in a situation like this. I would be devastated as well."

"Not that I know anything about the relationship between the two of you. I'd like to ask you something. You're free to answer or not. But I feel that if you don't, you will hold onto this guilt until it literally kills you."

"What the hell do you want to know?"

"Why are you afraid of Hina?"

I snapped "What do you mean by that?! How am I afraid of my sister?!"

"Lisa told me that you said that your sister has a lot of talent, but is wasted on someone like her. I pondered the thought for a while and came to this conclusion. Feel free to shove me out of this room if I'm wrong. But you're not fully acknowledging Hina's talents are simply better than your own."

I reached forth and grabbed the collar of her shirt in a violent manner. Tears ever so present streaming down my face. I tried to throw her out of the room, but my body locked up. What's stopping me?

Kasumi regained her composure and gently took hold of my hand. Easily peeling it off of her as it shifts beside me. "Then tell me….where did I go wrong?" I said softly, still choking back some tears.

"You can't seem to grow out of this feeling of inferiority you feel towards your sister. You keep yourself from growing and getting better because you're always comparing your skills to her own. You're stronger than this, but something is holding you back and I think I know what."

"And what would that be?" This was the first time that our eyes met. I didn't know if I was delusional from how sick I've been feeling. But the smile on her face was very bright and reassuring?

"If Hina saw you as something below her, she would never come to bother you about whatever is on her mind. You think that asking her for help would make you feel like a failure since you're asking someone younger than you to help." I bit my lip a bit before she continued. "However asking questions to even the littlest of things would make her happy. I ask my younger sister, Asuka, for help all the time and her view of me never changed. Because that's who we are, Sayo, the older sister. Something that they can never take away from us." She ended that with a gentle tone.

The very nauseating headache I've had before came back. Is that what it was? It couldn't have been? I tried to speak, but nothing came out. I feel my legs move to find something that I can vomit in. 10 minutes go by and I walk back to the room. I see Ichigaya standing outside the door and doesn't say anything. I walk back in and question the moment right now. I don't know if what I was seeing was real, but why was Hina sitting up? Toyama notices that I returned and gets up and starts to leave. She doesn't say anything as she walks by and closes the door.

"Hey sis. It's been a while."

I don't know if it was because of what Kasumi said or my own self-hatred. All reasoning left my body as I latched my arms around Hina. She couldn't see my face, but she could feel my tears. I feel her touch. It made me flinch a little. That shouldn't have been my reaction, but how come Hina isn't angry with me? I started to cry a little harder now. Although something broke my dam and Hina was the cause.

"It's okay big sis. I'm not going anywhere, so cry all the tears of sadness out until I see your smile."

It felt like hours after. Seeing her awake and then crying into her shoulder. My feelings were literally all over the place today and knowing the Hina is OK put some light in that darkness. Hina was always 'my sun' after all. I pulled away and let her see my face. I felt weariness take over. Her hands lightly grasp my cheeks as she pulls me to her lap.

"Like I said, I'm not going anywhere. Get some rest big sis. I love you."

Those last few words changed something. I look up to her and see a genuine smile. Somehow, I managed to match that smile. Hina starts to giggle as I let her childish giggles lull me to sleep.

Hina POV:

I run my fingers through her hair and she sleeps peacefully. I pulled my hand away just a little and I felt her grab it. She had an uneasy look on her face when I pulled away. Giggling again as I press my lips to her forehead. The grip we have on each other's hands is light, although I don't think anyone will be able to pry her away from me. The door swings open again and Kasumi and Arisa walk in. Arisa was carrying a plate of food and placed it on the desk right next to the bed.

"Being asleep for almost two weeks must have you starving. We'll leave this here and let you eat."

"Thanks Kasumi. This doesn't look as appealing as I thought, but it's better than nothing."

"I contacted Lisa and Aya and told them that you were awake. They'll be here shortly."

"VERY LOUD!" Arisa exclaims.

"Yeah. let's just say they are very relieved to know that you are awake." Kasumi says as she playfully pats Arisa on the back.

I giggled again as both of them said their farewells and left the room. I see Sayo lean up as she groggily opens her eyes. We lock eyes as she leans closer to me. What happened next caught me off guard slightly as she pressed her lips to my own. "I love you" I hear her whisper as she falls back to sleep. A blush is evidently present on my face. I pulled her hand that was still locked with mine. I lightly kiss her hand. The door opens as Aya and a few others exclaim my name rather loudly. I press a finger to my lips, signaling them to not make a lot of noise since Big Sis fell back to sleep. Aya and Eve couldn't hold back as they quickly moved towards me and wrapped me up in their arms. Tears on all the faces as more people appear. Lisa along with Yukina and the others come in. They all notice that Sayo is also laying in the bed with me.

"Seems like a lot of people were worried about me huh?"

"It's hard not to after seeing the state of your body was left in. What happened to you anyway?" Lisa was the first to speak up. Her eyes were not dripping like many of the others, but tears were evident.

"While running late to school, I took a shortcut that I knew. After that was me defending myself from I think 3 or 4 people trying to do rather "bad" things to me. They all had knives and some of them managed to cut me. So I have scars on my left arm, back and right leg."

I lift up my shirt to show the scar on my arm. The air was a little dry in the room as no one said anything. Sayo's face became one full of sorrow when I said this. I placed my free hand on her head and began to soothe her a little as I started again.

"Escaping was a little difficult, but adrenaline kicked in as I started to run away. That's when Tsugumi found me."

It was a while of explaining everything to everyone. Chisato gave me a bit of an earful, but she, like the rest, was relieved that I was awake. They told me that since my absence, that they were doing a lot of solo work. Lisa also said that they were in a bit of a bind with solo practice as well. They said that the only one who could replicate Big Sis' skills was me. I held that thought in the back of my mind. Leaving with everyone being glad that I was awake, left just the two of us.

"You must've been worried the most, huh big sis?"

They told me how she reacted. Countless amounts of tears and sleepless nights. Also destroying her room? Though I understood. After she had kissed me earlier, I could tell that our relationship had changed drastically in that moment. I noticed the sun was setting since the inside of the room looked orange. She started to stir a bit before fully lifting her head.

"Good morning big sis. You sure slept a while." Probably not the best thing to say but she didn't care. I feel her hand grasp my face again.

"It's good to hear your voice again...Hina."

Her arms wrap around me in a tight, yet gentle manner. I placed arms around her as well. This is a touch I've missed for a while. I feel her grip get a little tighter as she starts tearing up. I didn't want to see anymore tears of sadness from her so I pulled away and put my fingers over her mouth.

"No more tears Big Sis. None of this is your fault, so you shouldn't blame yourself. Besides, Big Sis is a lot more pretty when she smiles."

Hopefully saying something like this make her mood spike, but I still saw guilt and regret in her eyes. She kissed me earlier right? What if I do the same to her? I know it's a risky endeavor, but I had to do something. I cupped her face and pulled her in for a kiss. I didn't feel any resistance. She didn't pull away either. After a few seconds, I pulled away to see her reaction. I almost laughed aloud since that's the widest I've ever seen her eyes get. I stifled a giggle, but it didn't last long since she pulled me in for another kiss. She wasn't forceful or rough. She slipped her tongue inside my mouth. I made a sudden noise, but quickly accepted it. She pulled away and a trail of saliva was stretched from my lips to hers. She wiped it away and pulled me in for another hug.

"I love you Big Sis."

"I love you too, Hina."

Hearing those words said back immediately made my heart flutter. Now that we've rather suddenly established that this is how our relationship is going to be from here on out. I wouldn't change anything. Besides, my big sister was all mine to begin with.