Chapter 4 –

A big TW! A part of this chapter will discuss rape, child/ emotional abuse and suicide. If you know that you cannot handle those topics, I encourage and suggest you, click out of this chapter.

House was consumed by thoughts about Cameron. Is she terminal? Does she really have cancer? How can I do the tests? Why was she trying to hide it? Does she know? What am I supposed to do? And why do I care so much? Those questions were running through his head trying to find a solution and failing. Cameron ran into the same problem; how can she stop caring about everything. About her dead husband, her mom, house, eating and hiding her destructive path without someone scraping it off the ground. She wanted control over one thing in her life, but since she started controlling it everything else fell apart. How could one person deal with so much burden, it was like she was suffocating. But the life support machine was running low, and she was headed a long, tortures death. Every breath that was taken felt like needles. After all those years denying her past and pushing it away is now holding on to her like a leech, not letting go even for a second. She had started to remember that thanksgiving when she was 8, she was sitting in her cousin's bed and her uncle came in. he was a tall, slim, bearded man but his look always looked suspicious. She was playing pretend with her cousin bell and he told bell to help her mom with the cleaning. Cameron stayed there waiting for her to come back but before she knew it, he locked the door and knocked her down, and without a second to spare he was on top of her. He raped her. she had her virginity, her dignity, her privacy, and her innocence stolen from her. her choice was taken away from her. smashed to the face of the surface. She couldn't control what was happening, she was 8! How could she save herself from an adult? She's a child. He was 56. She was 8. And even if she were older, she was frozen, who wouldn't be? At first, she fought back, but when he pulled down her pants, she couldn't. she was frozen. She couldn't talk, she couldn't scream, she couldn't react. She was paralyzed. Her subconscious knew she would've lost the fight, so why bother? Why try? Why make it longer? Let's just get this over with. She let him. He disgraced her. she was vulnerable, he was at superiority. She was invaded and he got his gratification. She was traumatized and he was pleased. When he finished, he left the room, and she couldn't sit straight. Her body was heavy, and the world was leaning on her shoulder. She was never the same little girl.

On her birthday party, her 14th to be persisted, her uncle had done it again. After years of misery and torment that was hunting her every move, nightmares that almost felt like heart attacks, every touch, cuddle, whisper, noise, a sudden scare, was a recipe for a panic attack. After everything, he had done it again. After that night she self-harmed for the first time. Her mom was a schizophrenic who would scream without a known cause that she loathes her and after her rape she felt like she deserved it, she must be a horrible person, it will explain why it happened to her. So why not just in this case take things into my hands, right? At least here I would have control. I would be doing the world a favor. I mean it already screams a big 'fuck you Cameron' then I should just punish myself.

And with that she started her self-destructive path.

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It was a new day at PPTH, and Cameron was in the clinic examining a patient when she was paged to Wilson's office? They didn't even have a patient with a suspicion for cancer or any type of tumor, she was confused. why was she paged there? There's no rational reason for her to be there so why would she? She headed to his office after she was done with her patient. When she walked into his office, she saw house and Wilson, and for some reason it looked like an intervention.

"we need to speak with you" Wilson started.

"what happened?" she asked.

"we don't mean to scare you, but we need to examine you" Wilson said it like she was one of his cancer patients.

"what do you mean 'scare me'?" Cameron was confused.

"we need to see if you have a tumor or cancer." House said.

"I don't" she insisted.

"you don't know that" Wilson said.

"why do you think that I have cancer?" she asked knowing why.

"well, you're basically getting sick like an old lady, you bleed like crazy, you fainted on us, TWICE" house emphasized twice. "you are obviously anemic, your personality changed drastically, you have nausea 80% of the time, you have bradycardia and look like a mummy who stepped out of the grave" house described her symptoms.

"well, I don't eat a lot of meat, my hr had always been that way, I reopened a wound, I was on my period, I forget to drink sometimes, I'm a doctor so I must have got a virus from a patient and thanks for the compliment." She explained.

"we still want to do an MRI and a series of tests." Wilson said.

"there is nothing wrong with me. It's all in your heads." Cameron declared.

"if nothing is wrong with you then the tests will be normal. You have nothing to lose." House claimed.

"it would be a waste of time and may even cost a life" Cameron said.

"it won't." Wilson insisted.

"why are you so worked up about this?" house interrogated her.

"I just don't see a reason to do this." She explained.

"well, I don't care what you're thinking. You're doing this" house confronted her.

"fine" she sighed.

"good" house said.

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"good news Doctor Cameron, you don't have cancer" Wilson said.

"I told you so" she said confidently.

"but there are some things that you need to improve." Wilson said.

"like what?" she asked.

"your iron is a bit low, and your glucose levels are extremely low." Wilson stated the obvious.

"okay, thank you Wilson" she was relieved it wasn't with house because he would have gone haywire on her.

"because of your low glucose you're at risk for seizures, coma and if it goes untreated even death." He was concerned.

"I know I'm a doctor." She said.

"so you know what you need to do, eat more carbs and sugar" he advised her.

"I will" she said and with that left the room.

Later that day she was sitting in house's desk going through his mail when he came in with a chocolate bar in his hand?

"here is my humpty dumpty" house teased.

"what do you want?" she asked annoyed already.

"well, for you to eat" he said like he was onto her.

"what?" she was confused but terrified of someone knowing.

"eat this, you are hypoglycemic" he threw the bar on the desk.

"my glucose is fine" she said.

"well then, hold your hand straight" he said.

"what is your point?" she snapped.

"its more my intentions, I'm preventing you from collapsing again" he said it with a mocking tone.

"fine" she opened the bar and ate a small piece with a mocking face.

"great, you wont mind me sitting here, would you?" he asked.

"it's your office" she said.

"great" he was pleased.

As she was eating the bar house sat and watched her eating it. He noticed how her bites were small and how long it took her to chew. He was intrigued.

"why are your bites so small?"

"my bites are fine" she replied.

"they are incredibly small. Why?" he interrogated her.

"why do you care?" she asked.

"I don't, just interested" he loved the way every sentence he said was making her more and more nervous.

"my tooth hurt" she explained.

"was that so hard?"

"no" she putted the bar on the side only ¼ eaten.

After 10 minutes house was interested why she stopped eating it.

"why did you stop eating?" house asked while dry swallowing a Vicodin.

"I'm not hungry" she was hoped her answer won't make him suspicious.

"you should eat" he looked at the bar and afterwards at her.

"I'll eat it later" she answered.

"pinky promise?" he said mockingly with a juvenile voice.

"pinky promise" she said.

"good" he said and left the room.

"finally" she whispered. She felt like he was just staring at her, glaring, looking at her with a magnifying glass. She was uncomfortable. She didn't appreciate the overwhelming attention. Why wouldn't he just stop? She thought. Why does he have to just look for every flaw and defect? He has his Vicodin addiction, he knows that its annoying when someone sticks their noise into his business, so why does he do it? Is it the puzzle or the rage that it gives the other person because house, is not a caring person. He is not like Wilson; he doesn't check on you because he's worried. He does that because it's interesting.

A few minutes later she was feeling sick to her stomach. She knew that it wasn't healthy, but she had to, her chest felt tight, and she felt her stomach flipping and twisting so she headed to the bathroom. She opened a stall, locked the door, and took 3 fingers down her throat and pushed back and forth. The whole thing was not glamorous. In tv the parts where characters stick fingers down their throat looks like it is so clean and easy but in the real world it's the opposite. The noises were loud, and the gagging were horrifying. She felt sicker than before, and her chest felt like a bear was sitting on it. After 10 minutes of this agony, she had managed to puke and felt her throat burning. Her head was throbbing, and her nostrils were filled with her stomach content. She did that until she felt a sense of relieve. Until she had heard a familiar voice.

"who's in there?" it was Wilson. The last thing she wanted was him with all his caring and especially him being house's beloved bunny.

"are you okay in there?" he asked again. She couldn't make a sound, she can't. It will reveal her secret.

"I know you're in there. It's a hospital. Being sick here is nothing to be ashamed of." He said being friendly. But then he was paged.

"I need to go but whoever this is, feel better" he said and left the bathroom.

Five minutes later Cameron flushed the water, washed her hands, and headed out. When she opened the bathroom door Wilson and House were standing there.

"was it you?" he said at the second she went out the door.

"no, it was a little girl who had food poisoning" she replied.

"why didn't you say anything?" he asked.

"I don't know" she said honestly.

"make sure this girl gets Hypotonic on an IV, it sounded like she lost a lot of water" he said.

"I'm about to do it right now." She said and left the conversation.

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It was night and Cameron decided to go jogging. When she was jogging, she noticed a blue tinted shirt with a small drawing on it, it was just like the one she had when she was young. but then it all came back to her, it was the shirt she wore when her mom had attempted her first suicide. She panicked. She remembered that night to the last detail. She was studying for an exam, it was hard for her to concentrate, she went downstairs and checked on her mom because usually at that time of the day her mother would play 80's music but she didn't that night. Her living room was empty and her mother's bedroom as well. She went to the bathroom and the door was locked, she called "mom? Are you in there?" with no voice coming from the other end she knew something had gone badly. After a very long minute of kicking and pushing the door, she had managed to unlock it. When she stepped in, she saw her mother on the floor with an empty bottle of pills with vomit all over her clothes and face. she called 911 and started chest compressions since she didn't feel any pulse. The paramedics came and took her to the hospital and said that Cameron saved her mother's life by beating her heart for her. and this was the time she wanted to become a doctor.

Once she was out of the foggy cloud she was in, all she wanted was to scream. That memory was locked in a secret safe inside her subconscious. She always knew it was there but never wanted to open it and look at the whole picture. She was shaken by the recurring event in her mind. It became so real, after everything she had been through to maybe push the event away it all came back. It felt like an unexpected slap in the face. It was so surreal; it was like she was there. Again.

She immediately began running to her apartment like it would help her escape the thoughts when she heard someone screaming her name on the other side of the sidewalk.

"Cameron" it was foreman.

"who are you running from?" he said with a giggle.

She was in the middle of a panic attack; she couldn't think straight. But she knew that she didn't want this happening right now. She just wanted to curl in her bed.

"no one" she said in a shaky voice.

"why are you shaking? Its 86 degrees and.." he stopped talking and looked with a confused look "are you crying?"

"no, I just ran I'm fine" she tried to suppress the emotions and shaky body not to get the best of her. she couldn't break character.

"are you sure? You don't look so hot" he mentioned.

"I just need a shower." She replied.

"let me escort you home" he suggested.

"I'm fine, thanks for the offer" she said while shaking.

"c'mon Cameron, you're shaking, you're obviously not fine." He declared.

"I just ran, exercise can lead to muscle fatigue. Muscle fatigue triggers twitching and cramping in overworked muscle fibers. Secondly, exercise may cause an electrolyte imbalance through sweating. But you already know that because you're a doctor." She explained perfectly.

"fine, just don't collapse on your way there." He said and headed to his destination.

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The next morning, she went to the bathroom in hope to see that her period had returned, it didn't. it didn't come for 3 months and she was anxious about it. Does that mean I lost the ability to be pregnant? She thought. It was scary and stressful. She didn't want this happening. When she started her diet, she never thought it would get this far. She always wanted children, and now she could lose the amazing ability of having one of her own? She just wanted to flush her whole life down the drain.

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It was Friday and they had a patient who had multiple organ failure, so house's team had to stay overnight to somehow come up with a diagnosis.

"we have a 13-year-old boy with severe abdominal pain, seizures, blurred vision and toothache. Shoot" house said.

"the abdominal pain must be a symptom of his liver failure so we should cross that one out" chase said.

"it could be a brain tumor, but the organ failure does not fit" foreman added.

"we should do an MRI of his brain to look further" foreman continued.

"you're the neurologist. the blonde aussie go with him" house sent the two man away.

"what should I do?" Cameron asked.

"your job" house said sarcastically.

"okay..." she was confused.

"do my clinic hours or something" he sneered.

"I'm right on it" she said.

When she was on her way to leave the room, he suddenly spoke.

"wait" house stopped her.

"yes?" Cameron knew he was up to something.

"do you want to get lunch?" he invited her.

"lunch?" she asked again hopping she didn't hear well.

"yes, do you want?" he asked her.

She didn't know what to answer. Is it better to go with him and make his suspicion go away or add to the suspicion more validation and questions? Definitely make it harder for him to solve this puzzle. You can't solve a puzzle if pieces are missing right?

"so...?" he asked again.

"sure" she said with a small smirk.

On their way to the elevator, they had a small talk which was a nightmare for the two. They reached the cafeteria floor and headed to the entrance. Cameron was taking a yogurt which was a bit high to the reach and she had to stretch her arms to get it, what she didn't noticed was that her shirt was lifted, and her hips were exposed.

"what is that?" house asked pointing to her hips.

This chapter was hard to write so I hope you enjoyed it.

It's a bit complicated to follow and confusing for some parts and I've tried to make it more readable but it's still a little messy, so I apologize for that.

I decided to leave it with a question mark at the end of the chapter, I know it can be annoying, but I wanted to leave some mystery.

As always feel free to review, correct, suggest and support.

Thank you for your support I rlly appreciate that 3