Chapter 4

Wed 20th July

She'd made it as far as the stairs. Sitting on the top step, hair in a bun on her head and a glass of lukewarm water in a pint glass beside her. Xena was in the bedroom with the window open, lying in the sun, but also with the large fan on her to keep her cool. She was enjoying the weather and dozing a lot, but Valkyrie couldn't sleep. Skulduggery had bought her story that the warmth, after the cold, was making it hard for her to sleep. The almost black circles under her eyes definitely helped her sell it.

Valkyrie lay back on the hardwood, enjoying the cracks of her hips and spine, the painful tension in her muscles. She'd been in bed for a while before getting up and sitting on the stairs, and it was incredibly relaxing to crack her back. Incredibly refreshing to lie down somewhere new.

There was total silence in the house except for the fan. It smelt warm and musty. There was no breeze outside to help get rid of whatever funk was stuck in her room, and she was sure there was some when if she was so used to it she couldn't tell anymore. When she was dead, perhaps it would be as silent. Some low buzz of her consciousness like a fan, but otherwise totally alone. Or perhaps she'd be a soul in Necropolis, an image of who she was. It would be good to see her friends again, to tell them how she missed them and say words she wished she'd had the chance to when they were alive. Though they might hate her. They might all hate her for what she'd caused to happen. Surrounded by victims.

She cut that thought off, measuring her breathing and counting loudly in her head. She wasn't going down that road until it was night. Until then, until she was in bed, she wasn't going to think of anything.

The doorbell rang out. She sat up as Xena raced past her to the door, barking as she jumped down the steps. She went to her spot next to the door and looked out the glass pane around the curtain at whoever it was. She was still for a moment and then wagged her tail, barking.

"It is Skulduggery?" She asked her. "Is that Skulduggery?"

Xena looked back at her, watching her go to the door. She took a breath, knowing he'd have words for the black and purple circles bagging under her eyes, and opened the door.

"Valkyrie," Militsa gasped. "Oh, wow. Um, I tried to call you? I tried calling a lot actually, and I text you, but you didn't answer, and I was getting worried so, um, I came here?"

"Yes."

"Um, how – how are you?" She asked hesitantly.

"Fine," she nodded quickly. "I'm fine. The weather, you know, I can't sleep."

Militsa's eyes looked over her face when she pointed to it. "Yeah, I see that. Have you slept at all in the last week?"

She shrugged. "Not really. When it gets cool I'll get some sleep. It happens sometimes."

"Yeah," she said softly. "Um, I brought you something. A pie!"

"A pie?" She asked, surprised.

Militsa was grinning now. "Yep! A Killie pie, it's really good!"

Valkyrie nodded for a moment, her mouth watering. "I suppose you should come in."

Militsa grinned even wider and stepped in. Finally in the doorway, Xena was close enough to sniff her. "Hi sweet baby! It's so good to meet you! What's your name? Oh, you're so cute!"

"Xena," Valkyrie told her, getting a glance from Xena before she started jumping up at Militsa. "Xena, sit."

Xena instantly sat and calmed herself.

"Oh wow! She's so smart!" Militsa gushed, scratching behind her ears.

"Yeah, she's a good dog." Valkyrie closed the door and started to the kitchen, hearing Militsa and Xena follow her.

The kitchen was a state in itself, but she had some clean cutlery in the dishwasher and two clean plates on the drying rack.

"Do you have one too?" She asked Militsa.

"I do but it's okay," she said politely.

She raised an eyebrow, grabbing them both plates and sets of cutlery, put them on a clean patch of counter, and got to making tea. "You said milk and two sugars, yeah?"

"Yeah," she said, surprised. "You remembered that?"

She raised an eyebrow, finding Militsa hovering in the doorway to the filthy room. She couldn't blame her. It was not a great place to be. "Obviously."

Militsa blushed scarlet, getting a small smile out of Valkyrie. "Yes. Sorry. I don't mean to be rude, but it's sort of a mess in here."

She nodded, getting mugs out of the dishwasher. "Yep."

"And you don't look like you've showered in a while."

"Yep."

"Valkyrie, are you okay?"

She grabbed a tea bag and put it in one of the cups. "Yep."

"You don't seem okay," she hedged, coming into the room properly. "Would you like me to get the milk?"

"Sure." Militsa opened the fridge and paused long enough Valkyrie turned to look at her. "Am I out of milk?"

"Hmm? Oh, no, there's enough for tea." She grabbed it and closed the fridge. "Valkyrie, you have no food."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes at her tone. "I'm aware of the state of things. I've just been busy."

"Busy enough you couldn't text or get groceries?"

The kettle clicked and she poured Militsa's tea, transferred the tea bag when hers was looking good, and filled her own. Militsa came over and gave her the milk. "Thanks. How's work been?"

"Stressful. It's almost the end of the year, so we're nearly done with exams, but that just means I have a lot of marking."

"Makes sense." She poured the milk and grabbed the sugar.

"I'm keeping on top of it though, just about. I made sure I had all evening to come here. Are you okay with that? I wasn't sure if it would be overstepping to comes to your house, but I really was worried."

"It's fine. Here."

They took a tea each and Valkyrie took the plates through to the living room, Xena following behind excitedly.

"You're not getting any," she told the dog, who didn't listen and jumped up on the sofa Militsa sat on. "Leave her alone Xena. Come here."

The dog reluctantly hopped down but sat on Militsa's feet instead. Militsa stroked her and got two packages out of her bag, handing one to Valkyrie and accepting the plate and cutlery in return. They put the pies on their plates and Valkyrie instantly started eating hers in big mouthfuls, enjoying the stake and gravy within. "This is so good."

"Yeah, it's a favourite of mine," Militsa answered. "It's Scottish, you know."

"It's what makes it great, I'm sure."

Militsa laughed. "Of course!" Valkyrie shovelled another bite into her mouth. "When's the last time you ate?"

She had a few seconds of chewing before she had to answer. "This morning."

"Oh, that's good," she nodded.

"Yeah I had cereal," she nodded back, taking another bite. She'd only had a few mouthfuls of cereal, and that had been the last of it, but that was fine.

"Good. I'd hate to think you weren't eating enough. You'll waste away."

"Don't worry, I don't plan on losing my physique," she joked.

"I'd hope not," she grinned. It faded as Valkyrie ate the last bite of her pie. Militsa had barely eaten any of hers. "I have to admit though, I really don't think you're doing well. Valkyrie, are you sure it's just the heat? You were really upset when we spoke last week."

She grabbed her tea from the coffee table. "Sure. I guess. Well, no, I'm not. But I haven't been since I left. Things are just… hard."

She nodded gently. "I get that."

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Sure. Totally. I wouldn't expect you to talk to me, we barely know each other. I suppose I was just shocked because I didn't expect to see you looking like this." Her eyes widened. "I didn't mean it like that. I mean that I just envisioned you so put together that this took me by surprise."

"It's fine," she told her before she could get any further into a panic. "Like I said, I haven't been doing well. Things sort of got on top of me. But I'm fine. I'm eating and things are fine. You don't need to worry about me. Alright?"

Militsa shook her head. "I'm sorry but I think you're lying."

She didn't have an answer for that.

"I can help if you like."

"I don't want your help."

She cowed a little but not a lot. "I don't care. Maybe it won't fix anything but a little encouragement is good today, right? So get a shower."

"Mil–"

"I'm not taking no for an answer. Get a shower," she commanded, her teacher voice in full effect. "Go on. Get."

Valkyrie hesitated, unsure if she really wanted to be told what to do, but Militsa didn't move her hand from pointing at the door. "Er, sure. I'll… I'll just go get a shower."

She stood and left Militsa on her sofa with Xena sat on her feet, licking her lips and hoping for only a second to steal her pie.

The en-suite bathroom Valkyrie always used was disgusting. As always. The sudden thought that Militsa might come upstairs and see it utterly mortified her. Kicking some clothes and empty bottles out of the way, she grabbed the bleach, spray and a sponge from the packet she kept under the sink. It wouldn't take so long to clean the bathroom, she figured. Militsa had Xena to entertain her and she could just leave if she got bored.

That decided, she kicked everything in the room out of it and threw what was on the counter into her bedroom, cleaning it of everything but the grime and what still had product in it. Dusted the walls with some quick wipes over with the dry sponge, sprayed the sink and toilet down, scrubbed the tile above the sink, the counter, the porcelain. The toilet was worst, of course, as the sink mostly just had toothpaste on it. The toilet was a horror. A bit of bleach and ten minutes of scrubbing and rinsing her sponge actually cleaned the whole thing to sparkling.

"That wasn't so bad," Valkyrie nodded, wiping sweat from her head, giving herself a whiff of her underarm. "Dear fuck, I need a shower."

But that meant she should really clean it first. She didn't bother spraying it, instead opening the bleach and pouring almost the whole thing over the walls and floor, before opening the window, spraying the glass and cleaning that. It was left streaky, but it was clean and that was all Valkyrie cared about. It likely wasn't the best move, she mused to herself as she worked, to clean a toilet and then the shower, but the glass would be sprayed with water and that was as good as cleaning. And the rest was smothered in bleach and the toilet had just been covered in bleach three times over, so it wasn't that bad. It would be fine. Though she wouldn't tell anyone, just in case.

It took longer to clean the shower, made worse when she started gagging and crying from the strength of the bleach, but it did leave the shower sparkling and shiny clean.

"I'm alright at this," she nodded, looking back for Xena and then suddenly remembered she was downstairs with Militsa. "I'm gonna get showered now. And stop talking to myself. Probably."

One long, hot shower later, double shampooing her hair and adding conditioner to the tips, she stepped out onto the manky floor and felt so much better. It wasn't great, but her bathroom was mostly clean. She could clean just the floor later. That was all she needed to do. Clean just the floor. She'd do a load of washing and clean her towels and put them back. That wasn't so hard. Just a little bit at a time until it was done.

The clothing situation was rather dire, but she found some workout leggings and clean top, didn't bother with a bra, and went back to find her dog and guest.

She wasn't in the living room and neither were the cups so she went through to the kitchen, finding Militsa at the sink scrubbing a pot that had been left on the side to soak some months ago and been abandoned since.

"Militsa?"

Militsa almost jumped out of her skin, but sent a big smile at Valkyrie. "Hi! I figured I'd make myself useful while you were gone and do some washing up."

"Did you do all the dishes?"

"Yep! Well, the dishwasher is full and I couldn't find any pods so I left it, but I got the rest done except this pot. I don't know if I'll be able to get this washed."

"It's fine. You cleaned the counter."

"Yeah, just a wipe over."

"You swept."

"Mhm."

"The table isn't gross," she said, suddenly incredibly overwhelmed. "You cleaned the kitchen."

Militsa stopped scrubbing and turned to her. "Valkyrie? I just thought I'd help out a little. I hope you don't mind."

"No, no, it's fine. It's just so nice of you."

"Ah, don't cry!"

"I'm not," she swallowed, feeling her lip wobble dangerously. Dug her palms into her eyes.

Arms wrapped around her, stilling her, before she sighed and hugged Militsa back awkwardly. "It's okay to cry."

"I don't cry."

"Sure you don't."

"Really."

"Yeah, I'm sure. You're all muscle and strength and being badass all the time and you totally never have emotions."

"Exactly."

"Good."

"Good. Glad we could agree." She let her go and Militsa stepped back, grinning radiantly.

"Me too." She stood there grinning for another moment before turning and going back to the sink. "I tried to clean Xena's bowls but she got excited and wouldn't let me."

"Oh, she probably thought you were getting her something."

"Probably."

"I'll get them." Xena was lying next to her bowls and lay her face over them when she walked over. "You want fish?"

Both ears perked up.

"You want a fish? A fishy? Want a fish Xena?"

Xena jumped up and raced to the freezer, staring at Valkyrie. She took the opportunity to take the bowls without a fight and put them next to the sink. In the freezer, she riffled through a bag of whole tilapia she kept for Xena and got one out.

Xena jumped up on her back legs excitedly, barking madly.

"Outside!" Valkyrie told her. "Go! No fish inside!"

Xena ran to the door, jumped off of it and jumped onto Valkyrie.

"No! Down Xena! Down!"

She didn't listen or care.

"God's sake." Valkyrie got the door open and Xena followed her out, sat for her, and took the fish gently from her hand. "Good girl. Have fun."

She went back in, leaving Xena with her frozen fish in the sun like some sort of reward for being bad.

"You don't happen to like this pot, do you?" Militsa asked.

"Just throw it away."

"Oh thank goodness," she said, opening the lid to find it full.

"I'll empty it."

She did that, taking it and another full bag out to the bin outside, and then filled the can with a new bag. By the time she was done, Xena's bowls were clean too.

"Thank you for doing this," Valkyrie said, feeling suddenly self-conscious. "You didn't have to. Really."

"It's okay, I don't mind," Militsa smiled. "Honestly it's a nice break from grading. I feel like my eyes are going to fall out from reading so much. This is a good type of different."

"Even so. I'm grateful, so thanks."

She grinned, one of the brightest smiles Valkyrie had seen on her yet. Her eyes utterly lit up. "You're welcome Valkyrie. I know that maybe I was a little forceful the first few times we met, but even if you aren't ready for a friend or anything, you're my friend. So I'm going to help you. No pressure to do anything back. It's totally on me. And I owe you for buying me a drink last week so this is good."

"I think you've more than made up for that."

"Well, I don't care. I did it. Because you're a good person and you aren't rude and you're actually very nice. So I did the washing. You don't need to thank me. I know you did, but you don't need to."

She nodded. "Understood. Would you maybe like another cup of tea?"

"You don't have any more milk."

"Oh. Um, a glass of water?"

She kept grinning. "Absolutely."

I just finished Dead Or Alive. I've never hated or even slightly disliked an SP book before. I hate this one. I am so fucking gutted so I'm writing Valitsa instead.