DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. I will end up using it, I promise!

Thinking

Emphasis

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Rock Lee didn't remember ever being so embarrassed in his life.

Waking up in what he could only assume was an old gym because of the basketball hoops hanging on each of the far walls, he closed his eyes in despair. How unyouthful... Gai-sensei would be so horrified! The last thing he remembered clearly from last night was being stomped by one of Naruto's largest toad summons, which landed on him heavily. He was pretty sure that the toad had broken some of his bones that had since been healed, but he'd also apparently thoroughly thrashed the restaurant they had been dining at - at least that's what he heard the beautiful Sakura-chan discussing with her beloved Ino-chan this morning.

"Think of it this way, Pig-koi, at least this way we won't all be responsible for the Yakiniku Q repair bills!"

"Repairs?! Between that drunken dumbass, Lee, breaking everything and everyone in sight, then your idiot teammate's giant freaking toad stopping him, there IS NO Yakiniku anymore!"

Lee sighed and closed his eyes, unable to perhaps ever look any of his comrades in the eyes again. Many of them were sleeping again, thankfully. Some had not even woken up when they were first thrown in here, but all of them had their chakra sealed with special cuffs that he was unfamiliar with. It wasn't like it mattered to Lee, anyway: in case of an emergency, he could certainly hold his own since his taijutsu was specialized so as not to rely on expelling chakra. No, the only thing he couldn't do right now was cast a genjutsu: something he never intentionally did, anyway.

Oh, gods - now he understood fully what Kankuro meant about enjoying his "genjutsus of love so much."

When the puppeteer had started visiting him more often during the last two or three years of the war, Lee thought that he'd only been intentionally bonding with his nearly always-present teammate, Tenten-chan - oh sweet sleeping Tenten, I'm so sorry! - over all things sharp and pointy. Goodness knows that the two of them loved making their hidden weapons deadlier and more powerful. During the last year and a half of the war, Naruto-chan had begun wrapping more powerful seals over nearly all their deadly objects and puppets, much to Kankuro and Tenten's delight.

Suddenly, Lee realized it: Naruto knew! Oh, the humanity!

Lee listened as the youthful Naru-chan discussed that after raiding Uzushio, her mother's ancestral homeland a year ago, Kakashi-sensei said her calligraphy was finally good enough to enhance or even make her own seals. "Naru-chan! Your power of youth shines brightly! Even the IDEA that you and your clones have had the time and energy to work on calligraphy is astounding!" He really didn't understand how that obvious comment could make Naruto's whiskered cheeks flush a bright pink, but his friend was always humble, no matter how powerful she had become. "You and your clones are nearly always in battle or on alert!" At the time he didn't know why her embarrassed grin faltered into sadness, but he did only a day or so later. "Truly the power of youth defines you!"

"Mhmm, did you s-," Naruto stopped speaking as she looked up then howled, "Save me Kurama! God damnit, you stupid fox! Lee, turn off that genjutsu: you're killing me here!"

Tenten looked over and chuckled at those in her tent; she was sleepy.

"I've always enjoyed your genjutsus of love, Lee-kun," Kankurro commented.

"Thank you, Kankuro-kun," Lee responded shyly. Most people hated his passionate and youthful accidental genjutus, after all. He turned his gaze to Naruto who was now standing with her mouth agape. He didn't understand why she began jumping up and down, but he was a man and could admit it, (though certainly not out loud:) she made a lovely, incredibly youthful bouncing picture.

"Kankuro-kun! You and Lee," was all Naruto got out before being securely locked into a puppet. "There's weapons in here you asshole! You fucking stabbed me!"

Manly tears flowed down Lee's cheeks. He hadn't thought of that memory in years - and whenever he did, he only remembered being worried that Naruto-chan would bleed out - she had so many bloody holes in her! He had been furious at the time that Kankuro had the nerve to yell at and even kick her as she tried to bark back at him after being released from the puppet. Of course, Sakura-chan had entered and had beaten Kankuro to a pulp within minutes. By the time the gorgeous and rampaging pinkette remembered to come back and heal Naruto, the blonde's wounds had already closed and she was only cursing about her "newish" orange battle dress being ruined by blood and "stabbin' holes." Such youthful comrades. Naruto had begun immediately stripping her bloody clothes off and Sakura had screamed about her lack of modesty in outrage. The last thing Lee remembered was seeing Kakashi-sensei look into the tent, give the half-naked Naruto a thumbs up and an eye-smile before the two men were literally punted to the other side of the camp. He still wasn't sure which of the three women in the tent had been responsible - perhaps it was a combination.

But that wasn't at all important now! He loudly sniffled up manly snot and tears.

"You okay, Lee-kun?" Tenten watched as Lee wiped his slimy face and sighed at seeing it redden alarmingly as his eyes darted away from her own. She had only just woken up from who-knows-what and knew she should check on him first thing. Yeah, he remembers. And he's not exactly comfortable with it.

"Tenten-chan! Forgive me! My unyouthfulness…"

"Oi, oi, sweet cheeks! What's with the tears, ne? My beautiful flowers," Kankuro continued muttering poetically as he squished himself between Tenten and Lee - just like he had last night and all day until whatever it was that happened earlier to get them thrown in this gym! "Oi, you guys seen Gaara?" He ignored Lee's wails, knowing how emotional the man was, as he wrapped his arms around both him and his grabby little Tenny-chan.

"Troublesome - dear God. So very, very troublesome," Shikamaru shook his head in recognition of the trio's relationship that now made so much sense without any of his usual lazy features. "And yeah, they took Gaara-sama and Naru-chan away after nearly covering them in seals. Honestly, I don't think it's going to do much. Naruto was punching out the ANBU in her sleep as they put seals on her, and she only got taken down when Kazekage-sama knocked her out by suffocating her for a while with his sand."

The three nodded; that made sense. It was only when a man who was obviously the Rokudaime - the hair totally gave it away - walked in to replace another ANBU that the polyamorous trio wondered what the hell was going on.

"Whaddya bet it's some kind of weird fantasy of his? Fucking pervert," Kankuro whispered. Lee wailed louder, so Kankuro pulled his shiny black headful of hair into his shoulder. "It's alright, sweetheart." No one knew that Lee could cry even louder, but he sure did!

"It - it's not… youthful to - to speak of - of the Roku- Rokudaime in su- such a… way," Lee whispered between sobs.

"It's the truth, though," Tenten added sagely. She turned her head to look at her partners, ruffling Lee's hair gently. It really is so much softer than it looks! He looked so different in his drab prisoner garb, but she'd bet all her weapons that his ass still looked tight as hell in it. "Oh, and his bed sure was supportive and soft, ne?!"

Lee pulled away and thunked his forehead to the ground, incoherent to anyone as he moaned and whimpered apologies toward his village leader. Kankuro and Tenten looked at each other, not understanding what they were seeing at all. There was no doubt in either's mind that the man cosplaying as an ANBU was in fact Hatake Kakashi, but why did they see the red of a single Sharingan flash at them through his mask for a moment?! The Rokudaime Hokage no longer had the Sharingan, so what was happening?