A/N;; Wanted to take a quick moment to say that I'm so pleasantly surprised every time I see more readers on this story. I truly appreciate you all so, so much!
Leave me a comment if you'd like, I'd love to hear from you!

As for this chapter... Well. I'm sorry? LOL. Let me know how we're feeling at the end there.

CHAPTER 4: So Dangerous To Me Now

After the first week's classes, many of us were very grateful for the weekend. The adjustment between the freedom of summer and being back at school was finally setting in more fully for most by the end of week, even if a lot of people were miserable about it. Homework was the worst, as teachers were quick to assign full essays without delay.

Most notable, class-wise, was that Defence Against the Dark Arts with professor Umbridge really did consist of just reading our text, summarizing it, and acting like we'd actually learned something. Thankfully there hadn't been anymore outbursts in class, but the tension in the room each period remained palpable. I, personally, was most thankful to not have to deal with that for a couple of days now that the weekend had arrived.

Quidditch tryouts for Slytherin's team were on Friday evening, and I had been tasked with the mission of sitting through Gryffindor's tryouts to find out who their new keeper was this year. Blaise had suggested it would be best if I was the one to spy, as it would be obvious if he or Draco did. Montague was there with me, though, so how subtle was that, really?

Graham Montague had taken over as Slytherin captain after Marcus Flint had graduated. Not that anyone else really fought him on it, but he'd had quite the insistent conversation with professor Snape that he be the new team captain. He seemed set on Slytherin finally getting a quidditch cup win over Gryffindor this year with him leading the group. It was sort of flighty, though. Some days he was all quidditch all the time, and others he was the one planning dungeon parties simply for a Friday. It was sometimes hard to tell where he was at, day to day.

Today, however, he was easily read as switched on to quidditch mode. He remained standing a few feet from me, leaned against the front barrier of the stands. His eyes flicked this way and that, following the motions of the various Gryffindor potential team members. I was more casual in my own observation.

Ron Weasley was going out for the team's keeper this year, and that was really all Blaise had asked me to find out anyway. Besides, they already had a pretty solid idea that most of the rest of the team would be staying the same. Harry was too excellent a seeker to replace. The Weasley twins were also great in their position, plus it was their final year, it wasn't likely to be taken from them just yet. Angelina Johnson and Alicia Spinnet were great flyers, they still had chaser in the bag. Which only left one chaser to fill, and of course Oliver Wood's replacement keeper.

I wondered why the team cared so much to spy on practices or know things ahead of time. Slytherin as a team wasn't particularly strategic. They mostly tried to make jabs at Gryffindor as much as possible leading up to games, leaving the game itself up to raw talents. Sometimes it worked, but mostly on other house teams, not this one.

"Are you taking notes?" Montague sounded perplexed as he nodded toward the leather bound sketchbook in my lap - it and the set of pencils sitting on my other side were a gift from Lucy.

I shook my head, amused. "No I am not."

Montague didn't look convinced as he quirked a brow at me, but he went back to watching the flying Gryffindor team so I didn't elaborate. I didn't think he cared about the fact that I was actually drawing the quidditch pitch instead of paying terribly close attention to what was going on within it.

"Can't believe no one even tried for seeker this year. They really do have all the faith in the world in Potter, don't they?" Montague scoffed. It was almost funny, how much distaste he managed to squeeze into a whole two syllables when he mentioned Harry.

I didn't care much for Harry Potter myself - a bit of a busybody, as far as I was concerned. He kind of had a habit for trouble, in the bad sort of way. Maybe it followed him, maybe he followed it. I didn't know. I didn't particularly care, either. I went through my time at Hogwarts trying to worry about the boy as little as possible. Between the disdain of my housemates and the hatred of my parents, I didn't think it fully necessary to give my weigh in on the life of Harry Potter.

Uncomfortably sitting across the aisle from him in Defence was enough for me, I didn't need more than that.

Looking up curiously, I looked out over the pitch, watching the buzzing forms of red and gold as the players flew. My brow furrowed when I couldn't seem to spot Harry anywhere. "Is he even here?"

Montague scoffed once again. "No. Probably thinking he didn't have to bother, I'd bet."

Even not knowing the boy well, I wasn't sure I agreed that was Harry's style. It was, however, typical of anyone in Slytherin house to have that frame of thinking, so I left it alone.

By the time the Gryffindor team was done with their tryouts, Katie Bell had been chosen as their new third chaser, and Ron was their new keeper. Montague seemed rather pleased with this information. He made his way down from the stands in order to head to the Slytherin locker room for his own team's tryouts.

They had twenty minutes or so before the tryouts actually began, so I wasn't surprised to find that Blaise and Lucy came up to the edge of the ground level stands where I sat. They both wore the green and silver quidditch uniforms, and I had to admit that they suited Lucy well. She was grinning widely at me as the two approached.

"Tell me how great I look." She did half a spin in example and I laughed when Blaise rolled his eyes with a smirk.

"Let's hope that they let you keep them." Blaise chuckled before he turned to me. "So Montague told us he was out here watching, too. Anything different to report?"

"I'd imagine not. He watched them all like hawks." I shrugged. "Ron Weasley's the new keeper, Katie Bell is the new chaser. Otherwise everyone else stayed the same."

I noticed that Lucy perked up at the mention of the additional Weasley on the team. Over the last week she had gone out of her way several times once again to speak with the Weasley twins. I somehow both commended her for it and worried about her at the same time. Thursday she had spent most of our lunch break at the Gryffindor table with them and Draco had a number of unkind things to say about it. Thankfully she hadn't been present to hear them.

"Yeah, Montague said we might have a chance of beating them out this year with their choice on Weasley." Blaise nodded.

I shrugged once again. "He seemed about as good as any other keeper to me. Maybe a little nervous." I'd be nervous, too, if half the school was expecting me to fail.

Lucy let out a laugh. "Don't tell Bletchley that, he might explode."

"If Bletchley spent more time focusing on blocking shots than he did on what worrying about everyone else is up to, maybe we might not have a problem." I retorted.

It was Blaise who laughed now, amused at my attitude. "Tell us how you really feel then, Xavier."

I rolled my eyes but there was a small smile curling at my lips. Looking passed my two friends, I saw Draco approaching us with his broom in hand. He looked at me after nodding to Blaise.

"How was Potter this year?" Once again, the amount of displeasure used in speaking a name was glaringly obvious.

"He wasn't here, actually." I answered, watching as Draco scowled as if I'd said something offensive. He probably had the same thought that Montague had about the circumstance.

"He's still got detention with Umbridge, that's why." Lucy chimed in. As soon as she said it, Draco narrowed his gaze in her direction. She lifted her brows challengingly back at him and Blaise wisely stepped out of their way, shooting me an apologetic look before walking back toward where tryouts would be taking place.

"You friendly with Potter now, too, then, Emerson? If you're going to commit to the whole blood traitor thing, I suppose you might as well go all out, right?" Draco snapped.

Lucy pouted with a low, patronizing 'aw' and I knew this was going to be quite the spat. "I know it must be hard, coming up with something worse than a tired, century old insult to throw at me, Malfoy, but honestly. The creativity could do with some work."

I went back to detailing the shading of the quidditch pitch in my sketchbook as I listened to them.

Draco seemed to pick fights with anyone he could since we had started school. We hadn't ever really had a blowout of our own until second year when he started throwing around the word 'mudblood' so cavalierly. That was the thing about Draco now, he aimed to hurt. He didn't use to be that way.

Lucy on the other hand saved most of her fighting strictly for Draco. I couldn't say that I blamed her. His treatment of her was hot and cold - one day they were friends, and the next he was turning his nose up at her. This year it was clear his favorite thing was calling out her choice in company. I didn't know why it bothered him so much.

"Can you two stop?" I raised my voice over their battling, but I didn't look up from my sketch. My pencil dragged up the line of what was the Hufflepuff tower as I took a quick second to appreciate the fact that I'd actually managed to silence the both of them. "You're both being ridiculous."

I knew that Lucy wouldn't like my neutrality; I didn't have to look up at her to know she was looking at me in disbelief.

"He started it!" She defended.

My eyes finally lifted to look sharply at Draco as he opened his mouth to snap back at her. He glared at me, but he refrained from speaking.

"You know he's doing it to bother you. And you also know you don't actually give a damn what he has to say." I challenged my best friend. Her short sigh was the only confirmation I needed. I shifted my focus to Draco again. "As for you, I don't know why it matters to you who she's spending her time with." I looked down again to detail one of the goal hoops on my page. "Maybe worry more about what company you're keeping."

There was a purposeful implication in my statement, and it directly correlated to the two of us. If he wanted to make subtle remarks about our friendship, I could do the same.

Lucy let out a short, triumphant laugh before she walked away from us, back to the rest of the team hopefuls. Draco lingered, but I ignored him for a few extra seconds as I added a bit more shading to my sketch.

"Was there something you wanted to say to me, Draco?" I asked finally, still not looking at him. "Because I imagine Montague will be irritated if you don't get over there soon."

He hesitated there long enough for me to give him more of my attention. Steel colored eyes met mine and for a long moment neither of us said anything. Draco looked like he might want to say something - his jaw tight, his eyes searching my expression - but he said nothing. Instead he gave me a short nod and turned to go join the others. I watched him go with a curious sense of unease. I hated how hard it was to really talk to each other now.

Montague spent about ten minutes marching in a short line in front of them all, explaining the positions up for filling and that just because someone was on the team last year didn't mean they were automatically on the team this year. That did, however, seem to apply to Draco, as no one else was there to try out for seeker. There were three others aside from Blaise and Lucy going out for chasers, and one other besides Bletchley for keeper. Crabbe, Goyle, and a second year boy I vaguely recognized were going out for beaters. Lucy was the only girl down on the field among the lot of boys, and I hoped that detail wouldn't be something to count against her.

Finished with spying, it was curiosity that had me putting my drawing supplies away in my book bag and watching my own team's tryouts. I wanted to know how everyone was looking this year, not to mention support my friends. Lucy darted around so quickly, spiraling out of the way of bludgers and worming through the boys who clustered together to block her. Blaise had been a good chaser for our team the last couple of years, but she was giving him a run for his money.

"She's a fast little thing, isn't she?" My head swiveled to my right as George Weasley sat down beside me. My widened eyes quickly turned the opposite direction a moment after when Fred sat down on my other side. "She did say she'd make our jobs difficult for us."

My confusion rendered me unresponsive for a moment. I hadn't been the one to actively socialize with them during the week, I wasn't sure why they had taken it upon themselves to sit with me. Especially considering how many other available places they could have sat if it simply came down to watching the competition's tryout.

I watched as Blaise zoomed passed then sought out where Draco was; up high, busy looking for some sign of the snitch. The boys on either side of me seemed to sense my avoidance of them.

"You can't play shy on us now. Not when you've been so friendly otherwise." Fred chuckled.

A small smirk ticked the corner of my mouth upward despite myself. "I'm not playing shy. I'm wondering why you're both here."

"Watching the Slytherin tryouts, of course." George replied mischievously. "Got to scope out the competition, right? S'why you came down for our tryout, right?"

"Did they think sending you would distract us, is that it?" Fred smirked.

I huffed out a laugh and shook my head. "No, they thought I would be less obvious than one of them. Montague was here, though, so it didn't even matter." I wasn't sure why I was telling them, humoring them with this interaction at all. Perhaps for Lucy's sake, though that didn't feel like the only reason.

"Didn't even notice Montague with you here." Fred toyed further.

"Shut up." I cursed the fact that my laugh was paired with my cheeks flooding with warmth. Blushing, honestly, I needed to get a grip.

"Didn't want to try out yourself? Not an athlete, then?" George asked curiously and I noticed that he was following Lucy with his gaze.

Before I could answer, his twin was beating me to it. "This one? Too pretty to be an athlete, come on now, Georgie."

I let out a displeased noise, rolling my eyes. It was impossible, however, not to allow my lips to curl upward in my amusement. "You absolutely do not get to flirt with me."

"Why's that?" Fred dropped his chin as he tucked a fist beneath, feigning a thoughtful look.

"Because." An excellent reason, truly.

Once again, before I was able to add anything else, it was George now who spoke before me. "What's the reason, then?" He grinned, eyes flashing passed me to his brother on my other side. "For the quidditch, I mean."

"I'm not terribly fond of heights." I replied. Mostly due to the knowledge of how Blaise or even Draco might reply to such a statement, I half expected laughter and a comment about how short I was. Even more than my own friends, it would have made sense from the twins given how bloody tall they actually were.

"No way, me too." My head whipped back to my left at Fred's joking declaration and I sneered at him. He looked very pleased with himself, even as I looked forward again.

Fred and George commented between one another as they watched my housemates out on the field. They pointed out how Crabbe and Goyle being beaters was equal parts terrifying and something that made perfect sense, and I had to laugh. As they were coming back to the ground, the tryout finished, I became very aware of the position I was in - sat between the Weasley twins.

Lucy, to no surprise, excitedly waved our way as soon as she was off her broom. The same excitement was not extended to Draco who looked suspiciously like he might be ready to start another fight. They were distracted for a couple minutes as Montague made his picks for the team that year and a wide smile appeared on my face as I watched Lucy light up - clearly having made the team. Montague would have been a fool not to take her after how well she was doing up there. Blaise knocked a fist against the girl's shoulder in congratulations, the two of them now co-chasers.

George shifted forward to lean against the wooden railing of the stands after Lucy hurried over to us. "You severely undersold yourself, miss, and I've got a bit of a problem with it."

"Why? 'Cause you know you don't stand a chance of hitting me?" Lucy grinned proudly.

There was a brightness about her - between her excitement and the fact that she was obviously flirting - and as I watched I felt a strange sadness. Not for Lucy; I couldn't be happier for my best friend, making the team, having the courage to hang out with who she wanted, even developing a crush on a boy she decided on. Those were great things, and Lucy deserved them. The sadness was more for myself, but I couldn't quite pinpoint why.

"You were amazing out there, Lu, honestly." I cut into the little back and forth she had going with George, smirking faintly when they both looked at me as if they'd forgotten I was there.

"We'll see how she fares against Angelina and Alicia, they've been at this a while." Fred added.

Lucy fluttered a dismissive hand at him. "I'm not worried in the slightest. You and your negative energy are excused."

Both the twins laughed and I couldn't help but laugh with them.

We separated from them after another few minutes and I waited outside of the Slytherin locker room while Lucy went in to change back into her regular robes. I toyed with the token serpent ring on my thumb, the metal snake's eyes going in and out of my vision as I stared at it in thought.

"Didn't realize I should be worrying about you as well." A weighted sigh was heaved out through my nose at Draco's dry comment.

My eyes lifted to see where he had come out of the locker room and was now giving me an unpleasant look. "I didn't ask you to worry about me."

"With the filth you're over there laughing and being chummy with, you should probably thank me for it." He was clearly annoyed more than he was angry - that much I could tell the difference, at least.

"They sat down with me, Draco. I didn't invite them." I pointed out, my tone flat. In reality I didn't owe Draco any explanation. However, given that the company he was referring to were two Weasley's, and taking into consideration who my parents were, if I felt defensive about the situation to anyone it would be Draco.

He squinted in disbelief. "And you stayed there with them."

"I'm terribly sorry to inform you that I don't have to be awful to people just because you think I should be." My own irritation was growing now as his words felt accusatory in a way he had no right to be. "You do plenty of that on your own, I can't imagine why I have to do it for you."

Draco's eyes darkened and he stepped closer to me. "If you have a problem with me then-"

"I have several problems with you." I cut him off. He was standing in front of me now and I held his intense gaze as I looked up at him. "And the fact that you act like I wouldn't have any problems with you is, in itself, a problem."

His demeanor changed then - the tension in his shoulders lessening, the frustration in his eyes fading. We never broached the subject of what went on between us, of what was different. It was a silent but present ghost, following the both of us, waiting to be acknowledged for what it was. His shift in body language and expression proved further to me just how much we did leave untouched when it came to where we stood with one another.

"If you have a problem with me," Draco began again, his voice soft in comparison to the confrontational it had been moments prior. He paused for a few drawn out seconds, his eyes searching mine in the same way they had before the tryouts. "We'll work it out."

My mouth dropped open slightly, a stuttered breath being taken in between parted lips. I knew whatever lingering agitation had been present in my face was now replaced with wordless question. We stood there like that, a foot apart from each other, for seconds that felt like hours.

Draco, for all the anger he'd been carrying just shortly before, was patient now as he looked at me. I didn't know what to do with that. There was a time when the gentle way he looked at me wasn't a thing that could shock me, but now things were different. I'd grown used to the cold, steely gaze. I'd familiarized myself with the idea of tension going unresolved between us. I had given up on the idea of him being someone I could be open with.

Was it wrong of me to not fully trust in this moment between us? This implied promise he'd presented to me, it had come out of nowhere. The defenses that kicked in were wildly different than the ones I'd felt in our short, frustrated chat before. Now it was my own defenses, the ones that shielded me from unmet expectations.

Blaise and Lucy came out to join us before I could say anything. I wasn't sure if I felt grateful or disappointed. They were chatting enthusiastically - I caught Blaise's awed 'what was that in reference to Lucy's flying - but Draco and I stared at each other for another moment. I broke the eye contact first but wasn't quick enough to manage a smile back on my face.

"Everything alright?" Blaise asked as he glanced between the two of us. It was rare for him to be in the middle of anything going on between Draco and me - mostly on account of the fact that there rarely was anything going on there. Blaise, as friends with both of us, likely didn't know how to pick a side.

Lucy was glaring at Draco; clearly their incident prior to tryouts hadn't been given a moment to resolve itself. "You're picking stupid battles lately, Malfoy." She seethed.

"No one's fighting. We were just talking." I cleared the air. The quieter tone of my voice might have indicated otherwise, but at least Blaise seemed to take what I said at face value. Lucy looked skeptical still.

"Well, we better hurry up to the Great Hall. If I miss the feast while I'm this hungry, you're all in for it." Blaise warned with a laugh.

Finally forcing a tight smile I nodded and looped my arm through Lucy's to head back up to the castle. Draco gave me one last sidelong glance before falling into step with Blaise. I was aware of Lucy actively walking slower a few steps behind them and I knew what was coming before she even asked.

"What did he say to you?" She was concerned, even in a whisper I could pick up on that.

I looked at Draco a short ways ahead of us. He was busy talking with Blaise, not paying attention to us girls behind the two of them. He seemed exactly as he always did; the intensity, the seriousness of whatever moment he and I had had set aside.

My stomach sank as I realized his words could be just as empty and confusing as the things he had said to me in third year, making me think I had liked him. They could be just as empty as telling me he was done being involved with Pansy Parkinson only to find out the very next day from someone else that that didn't seem to be the case. Where was the line? I had to wonder just how many times Draco would say one thing to me, but not mean it, not care about how the aftermath might affect me.

Breathing in deeply through my nose, I gave my best friend a small shake of my head. "Nothing important."

It somehow didn't even feel like a lie.

.

There were equal parts disappointment and gratefulness on Saturday night when Montague's first night mentions of a first weekend party turned out to be false. Personally, I wasn't in the mood for a party. On top of that, fifth year's homework load was a lot heavier than years passed - that had to do with prepping for O.W.L.'s and such, of course.

Most of Saturday, I stayed at the desk in the girl's dorm. Lucy stayed with me for a little while before going off to hang out with Blaise and Daphne. They brought me back a plate of fruit from lunch time when I didn't go down. I had been so wrapped up in my Transfiguration essay I hadn't even realized the time.

My main task for the day had been to avoid Draco, but it hadn't been very difficult. Pansy had come into the dormitory late in the afternoon and mentioned to me that she was going to meet Draco in the library to study together. There was a glint in her eye that implied studying wasn't actually the plan, but I did my best to ignore it. It served as further reminder why what Draco had said to me the day before wasn't anything I should be holding onto.

By the time dinner came around, Daphne practically physically dragged me from the dorm room. I couldn't blame her, I had spent all day secluded from everyone else. I had also managed to finish up all of my assignments with all that alone time.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming." I groaned as the blonde girl tugged on my arm.

"It's the first weekend, Talia, how are you going to spend all day being a responsible student when you've got all of us to hang out with?" Daphne sighed, batting her eyelashes.

I couldn't help a vaguely amused smile at the display of subtle dramatics. "Well, I've finished it all now, so I'm free all day tomorrow. Don't know if I can say the same for the rest of you, however."

She faked an offended gasp and lifted a hand to her chest. "I've already finished assignments due on Monday. So at the very least you have me."

Thankfully it was only the first week, or I might have otherwise felt guilty about the lack of time I had actually spent with Daphne. She did mean well, even if she was a touch overdramatic. We all had our moments like that, though. There was more than plenty of time left to continue to spend more time with her and our other friends, and knowing how much I had missed that part of social interaction all summer, I really should take the opportunity while I had it.

Getting to the Great Hall, I sat down at the Slytherin table next to Daphne, Lucy was on my other side. She greeted me with a tight grin - her mouth full of food already - and nudged me with her elbow.

"Finish the whole year's worth already then?" Blaise asked from his seat across from Daphne.

Pansy sat to his right, straight across from me, and on her other side was Draco. I once again did my best to ignore the two of them as a pair.

"She was already planning for the next Potions assignment and we've yet to actually get it." Theo noted from Blaise's left.

"Maybe you all should try being decent students sometime." I teased with a falsely sweet tone.

"Sounds boring to me." Lucy snickered beside me.

Conversation continued in between all of us enjoying the various foods on the table. The good food and the friendly company reminded me that staying cooped up in the dorm room would never give me the peace or comfort that this feeling could. This feeling of content, this feeling of home; no careful avoidance could provide the same comfort.

As dessert appeared on the tables, I carefully picked out a couple of chocolate chip cookies for myself. I was mid bite when Lucy half-turned to me and lowered her voice.

"You missed it today," She started and I noticed that her gaze flicked toward the teacher table for a quick second before back to me. "This afternoon, Umbridge and McGonagall were arguing about something. Like out in the courtyard, a whole mess of students saw them."

"What were they arguing about?" I was confused and suddenly felt even more reminded why spending all day in the dorm room wasn't doing much for me.

Lucy shrugged with a frown. "Not sure entirely. McGonagall was really angry. She was talking about something that happened to one of her students so I bet the pink lady herself was picking on a Gryffindor too harshly."

"Sounds a little more serious than just picking on someone..." I trailed off thoughtfully.

My gaze flicked toward the teacher's table. Umbridge didn't sit up there much anymore, keeping to her office I had noticed. I didn't think the other teachers minded too much, but I couldn't help but feel a little uneasy about her absence.

"I agree. I haven't figured out more yet, though. Umbridge got all high and mighty talking about questioning her was the same as questioning the Ministry. Mentioned something about Fudge wanting to take action." Lucy explained.

I frowned. "Ministry action? At Hogwarts?"

Draco must have heard me because I noticed he looked at me suddenly and lifted a brow. "Are you talking about what happened with Umbridge today?"

"Tal missed it, I was just filling her in." Lucy replied shortly. Clearly it being another day didn't mean they had fallen back into civility with each other. Not that I could blame Lucy for being angry at Draco. Maybe if I focused less on how confused he made me feel I would find it easy to be simply angry at him, too.

"I don't think it's anything we have to be worried about." Draco's eyes shifted to Lucy and he sneered. "Unless of course you're friendly with Gryffindors who can't follow rules."

Pansy snorted out a laugh beside him while Lucy shot a dark look across the table at the blond. I touched her arm gently and gave a tiny shake of my head - it wasn't worth it to get into this battle with him again. I was too tired of feeling confused by the hot and cold that Draco presented to me, specifically, to deal with whatever he could muster up tonight.

My best friend sighed shortly and shifted uncomfortably, going back to speaking quietly to only me. "Fred and George had detention with her this afternoon. They're not at the Gryffindor table tonight."

I sensed a concern in her that made me frown again. "What was it that McGonagall said she was doing?"

"She didn't. Just that she didn't agree with it." Lucy sighed, her eyes flicking toward the other house's table she'd just mentioned.

"They'll be okay." I murmured as I gave her arm a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

I knew it would take more than that to fully convince the girl, but that was all I had to offer. I wasn't friendly with any of the Gryffindor students, so the likelihood of me being able to convince one to let her into Gryffindor tower wasn't high. She might be able to do it on her own, though - and if her charm didn't win, Lucy wasn't above having to threaten to hex someone. If she really wanted to check on them herself, she would.

After dinner was finished, we headed back to our houses as usual. Lucy lingered in the Great Hall's large doorway and when I looked at her questioningly she waved me off. I walked with the rest of my friends in the direction of the dungeon but looked back at her one last time just to make sure she was alright. She was half-awkwardly speaking to Ron now, I noticed.

Draco noticed, too, and I heard him scoff beside me. "Don't start." I warned before he got a comment out.

We rounded the corner and started down the stone steps to the common room entrance. Several other students were ahead of us, including our friends, and I noticed that Pansy was toward the front of the group. Irritation shot through me as my mind got away from me and I took a deep breath in through my nose.

"Did you have a good time studying today?" I asked tightly.

Confusion crossed Draco's face where he walked beside me - whether he was confused about the change of subject or the not so pleasant tone of my voice, I didn't know. "Yeah, it was fine."

"Mm. I bet." I hated in that moment that my reaction could be read as jealousy.

It didn't matter to me what Draco was or wasn't doing with Pansy; I wasn't jealous that he might be with her. I wasn't jealous at all. Even if I were, it would have been more to do with the fact that he was spending time with the other girl at all while he couldn't otherwise seem to continue to be decent friends with me after all this time. Or so I told myself.

Draco's hand caught my arm just before we were entering the common room, tugging me off to the side. Defiantly, I watched as other students filed into the wall's opening a couple feet away from us instead of looking at him.

"I've spoken all of about a dozen words to you today, how could you possibly be angry with me?" Draco pressed. His expression was a cross between irritated and amused - the latter only proving to add to my own growing frustration.

"Must be you." The response left me quickly, like it didn't take much thought.

His stormy eyes darkened and he stepped closer to me. I took a small step backward away from him only to realize just how close I was to the dungeon wall. Knowing I had nowhere left to go when he stepped forward again, I settled for keeping a level look on him, my jaw tight.

"Let's have it then, shall we?" Draco's jaw clenched as he swallowed hard. "Tell me what I did."

A scowl appeared on my features now, my dark brown eyes disbelieving. "I'm not going to humor whatever little power trip you're currently feeling, Malfoy." His jaw clenched again as I hissed his last name. "Just because you bully everyone else doesn't mean I'll allow you to bully me."

"Sorry, you think I'm bullying you?" His amusement was more present now as he lifted his brows at me. "I merely asked a question, don't be so dramatic."

His belittling me and my emotional response was making it worse. Whatever initial irritation directly related to whatever he was up to with Pansy wasn't relevant anymore. In the way that things tended to go between us more recently, the friction sparked over something small only to quickly turn into a full lightning storm.

The idea that perhaps he really did see nothing wrong in how he acted, or how he had changed, crossed my mind. Even if that were the case, that was almost more of a problem. How could he not be aware of the way his actions hurt others? The way that they hurt me? Did he really let go of the promise we had made to one another years ago so easily that he couldn't even acknowledge a change?

I wished I hadn't let Daphne drag me down to dinner. I wished I had stayed in the dormitory at the desk, gotten ahead on a reading or started a new sketch or something. I wished the avoiding I had been doing of him since yesterday evening had been allowed to continue. Because talking to him hurt. It was confusing and it was infuriating, and I didn't know what to make of it.

I should let him go, was the reality. Some part of me clung to a minuscule hope that maybe one day we would find our way back to each other. The child in me longed for the solace of the best friend who had been there from the beginning. With all the changes in our world, I wanted just one consistent thing. I wanted it to be us; regardless of suppressed confusion about how I truly felt about him, regardless about what lines we had crossed with one another at some points. He was my best friend.

Or, he was supposed to be.

"We'll work it out." It was one his emptiest promises yet. That was probably why it hurt so terribly.

A lump had formed in my throat and I swallowed tightly around it as I fluttered a blink of my eyes. My gaze dropped down from meeting his, settling on the shoulder of the dark jacket he wore. "I'd like it if you left me alone, Draco."

The sudden softness of my tone came as enough of a surprise to him that he shuffled just half a step back from me. I refused to meet his gaze as he looked at me.

"I'm tired of-" I cut him off as he opened his mouth to say something. "I'm just tired." I shook my head, the sigh laced in the words full of defeat.

I couldn't let myself spend all year hoping that this was the year things changed - the earlier I made that definitive choice, the better. Five years of schooling had only proven to pull Draco further and further away from me. We were different in so many ways - how we treated other people, how we talked to each other, even in how we responded to the way the world around us was changing. I saw the world around us on fire, with no clear way out. Draco saw himself being untouchable by those flames. We weren't the same. Not anymore.

"I meant what I said yesterday." Draco's tone was level, convincing. It still felt like a desperate grasp for control on a situation that he recognized was falling from his hands.

I smiled sadly with a slow shake of my head. "I don't-" I sniffed and paused to clear my throat gently. The same sad look was on my face as I looked up at him again. "I don't think I believe you."

Draco's eyes flashed with something I couldn't quite read - regret, maybe? Worry? I wasn't sure. The line of his jaw was so tightly set it was as if he were physically biting back something he wanted to say. I hesitated but after a moment moved to head into the common room. Draco let me walk away.