AN-chapter title from 'Can't Wait to Be Dead' by FINNEAS

XxX

Beth and Daryl stare at each other in disbelief before they both lunge for the radio. Beth presses her ear closer to it as the message repeats. She reaches for the dial thinking she might move it a little to make it clearer but Daryl grabs her hand before she can make contact. Her eyes dart to him and he shakes his head as he uncaps a pen with his teeth, writing the message on the back of his free hand.

"All survivors report to Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena. The National Guard has set up a safe zone. All survivors-"

The message keeps repeating as Beth shifts into her seat, looking at Daryl curiously. As much as she wants to keep going, to head straight for Georgia and home, she is willing to admit that the chances of them making it all the way across the country with one gun is highly unlikely.

"Too risky." Daryl is already shaking his head before she even has a chance to say anything.

Beth bristles, he didn't even know what she was going to say. "We could get more supplies, maybe they can help us find weapons."

"It ain't a holiday inn. They ain't gonna let us shop their stash."

"No but they might be able to point us somewhere we can find weapons. Like a gun store or something."

Daryl is still shaking his head as Beth sighs and buckles her seatbelt. "I don't want to be around a bunch of people either." she admits, the stadium still so fresh in her mind part of her feels like it never left. "But like you said, there's safety in numbers. Maybe we can find some other people who need to go east."

Daryl doesn't respond and Beth looks over at him, the road ahead clear. She knows she's pushing her luck and really, she isn't sure if she wants to go to a refuge center, especially one in a stadium. The last thing that happened to her in a stadium wasn't exactly great. "Even if we don't go there, we need to go into a city soon. We need weapons."

Pulling the map onto his lap Daryl doesn't look at her and Beth chews her lip as she goes back to watching the road.

"Too risky going into LA." Daryl mumbles, tracing his finger down the paper. Beth nods nervously, she'd figured he was going to say that. She finds she's not as upset as she'd been anticipating. She really didn't want to be in another stadium yet. Or maybe never. Never sounded good to her.

"Next big city is Bakersfield." Daryl taps the map with two fingers and looks over at her. "We'll pull into the first clear gas station we see and grab a local map. Find a hunting store or something."

Beth nods gratefully, she is just happy to have a plan. "Yes sir Mr. Dixon." she says somewhat close to cheerfully.

She looks over in time to catch Daryl's eyeroll.

XxX

She hadn't expected to feel so nervous; she'd been on tour before she figured she'd be used to it this time around. Instead, Beth's stomach was in knots as she double checked her costume, looking at the time on her phone. Her opener would already be finished and the stage hands should be setting her band up now.

Taking a deep breath Beth turned and headed out the door of her dressing room, no longer flinching at the sight of Daryl leaning against the frame waiting for her. She nodded at him stiffly and for once she didn't mind his presence as he made sure no one stopped to talk to her and broke her concentration.

Beth rested her hands against her stomach as they loitered in the wings. The noises of the crowd cheering sounded like a hungry animal and it was Beth they wanted to devour. She shivered, in nerves in anticipation she couldn't really tell the difference.

"Good luck." Daryl muttered softly behind her.

Blinking Beth turned to look at him over her shoulder in surprise. She could count on one hand the number of times Daryl had spoken to her unprompted.

"You're not supposed to say that." Beth replied, smiling at him to let him know she was teasing. "You're supposed to say 'break a leg.'"

Daryl stared at her in confusion, "Why?"

"I don't know really." Beth admitted with a laugh. Her eyes met Daryl's at the sound and she wasn't sure which one of them looked more surprised.

Beth saw Abby approaching them from the corner of her eye and she turned from Daryl to get back into her headspace to head onto the stage. She was already walking away when she heard Daryl whisper after her, "Break a leg."

XxX

The gas station is the easy part. They are able to fill up, find a map of the city, even grab a little bit more supplies although this gas station is much more looted than the last one. Beth nudges aside some broken glass with her boot as she grabs a travel size first aid kit from the bottom of a shelf. She knows that Vida always kept the one on the bus stocked but Beth is worried they will run through it fast enough.

Her arms full with two bags of scavenged supplies Beth follows Daryl onto the bus, sinking gratefully into the passenger seat. She is oddly excited to be navigating, mainly because her arms were getting a little sore from maneuvering the bus all day.

"We gotta be fast." Daryl reminds her, squinting through the windshield at the sun making its steady way down. It'll likely be full dark in less than three hours. Neither of them wants to have to spend the night inside the city limits.

"Should we wait until morning?" Beth asks nervously.

"Nah, all the good stuff'll be gone by then."

They drive in silence, both concentrating on their jobs. Beth tries to ignore the pain in her heart at the sight of more burning buildings, more walking corpses. They pass a blocked off street and Daryl lingers as Beth stares into the tents and the chain link fences surrounding them. She spots a Red Cross logo on one of the tents and is about to tell Daryl so when she sees one of the dead stumble out of it.

Swallowing hard she gestures for Daryl to keep going as she wonders if all the refuge centers have met the same fate. Whatever these things are now they were people once. Beth's heart aches at the thought and she forces herself to shove it away. She can't grieve for something that will happily kill her without a second thought. Assuming those things thought at all.

Beth shivers and finishes directing Daryl into the parking lot of a big sports and hunting store. Daryl eyes the broken windows and doors wearily as he drives them around the back, parking the bus where the loading trucks used to go.

"Is it safe to leave the bus back here?" Beth asks nervously. He's made her anxious with all his talk of people wanting to steal what they have. She knows that good people are still out there and everyone they see will not be a danger to them but she is worried everyone is so scared right now they won't even realize what they are doing is wrong.

"Safer than the front." Daryl pockets the keys and stands with his gun in his hand. Beth's kitchen knife feels flimsy in comparison. "I'll cover you." Daryl says as if he can read her fears on her face.

There are a handful of the dead moving around the building but they are all interested in a dead animal they are devouring and don't even look up as Beth and Daryl shuffle past. Once again Beth has to fight the urge to gag and she's grateful she hasn't attempted to eat anything today or it would all just come up.

The glass crunches nosily as they step across it and Beth's pulse speeds up as they slowly pick their way down the aisles. She can hear moaning from somewhere deep inside the store and taps Daryl on the arm at the sound. He nods once to let her know he hears it too, his eyes scanning the aisles for the source as they make their way past the sports sections to the hunting area in the back. The power is out but the store must have a backup generator because there are emergency lights flickering every few aisles. The effect is a bit dizzying.

Beth sighs softly when they get to hunting section. It's pretty cleared out and she can't see any guns left. Daryl doesn't pause, heading straight for a rack of crossbows. Waving her forward he presses the gun into her hands.

"Can you shoot?" he asks softly.

Beth nods, Daddy had wanted to keep her away from guns but Shawn had taught her in secret in case she ever needed to defend herself. She doubts this was quite what he had in mind.

Through the flickering light Beth keeps a watch on the aisles around them as Daryl fusses with the bows behind her. She scans the aisles around them for any other remaining weapons and what she sees doesn't make her very hopeful for what they will find in the rest of the store. There are torn boxes everywhere and half the shelves have been pulled off the aisles. The front part of the store hadn't looked nearly so looted but she supposes people aren't really in the market for basketballs right now.

A tap on her arm draws her attention back to Daryl and he has a bow slung over his back and a quiver of arrows on his hip. Her eyebrows raise at the sight of him holding a smaller bow out to her.

"I don't know how to use that." Beth says in surprise.

"I'll teach you." Daryl doesn't lower the bow until she reaches forward and takes it carefully. "There's no guns left."

The metal is cold to the touch and the bow is heavier than Beth expects. Even though she doesn't have the first idea how to use it she feels a sense of relief just to hold it in her hands. It feels much more secure than her little kitchen knife.

"We should see if there's any knives." Beth says as she puts the bow's strap over her shoulder and fastens the quiver belt around her waist. The bow might be making her feel safer but she still wants to have a weapon that she actually knows how to use.

Daryl nods and gestures for her to follow him. His shoulders are more relaxed than she has ever seen them and as he passes her, she thinks she sees the ghost of a smile on his face.

XxX

Despite her nerves or maybe even because of them the show was a huge success. Beth had been a ball of energy that night with the fans who bought backstage passes. Her family had come to the show and Beth kept catching Maggie's eye in the green room after the concert to mouth 'he's cute' about Glenn just to see the goofy smile her sister got in response.

After the fans left the four of them (well five if you counted Beth's shadow Daryl) went out for food at a twenty-four-hour diner not far from the stadium. Maggie and Glenn sat on one side and Beth was pretty sure they were holding hands under the table. Beth squeezed into the middle of a booth between her dad and Daryl. Daryl had offered to sit at another table but Hershel wouldn't hear of it.

"You're watching over my daughter you can eat a meal with us."

Daryl arguments were short lived after that.

The booths were big so it wasn't too tight of a squeeze but Beth could still feel Daryl's leg against hers. She tried to focus on anything else and perked up as the conversation turned back to the tour.

"Where are you off to next?" Glenn asked curiously.

"Savannah. Then we head down to Florida for a few shows."

Beth noticed Daryl tense up next to her and she sent a curious look his way. He was too busy glaring at the other patrons to pay any attention to her.

The dinner passed far too quickly and before she knew it Beth was hugging her family goodbye in the parking lot. Even though they were about to part ways it was times like this where she missed Shawn and her mama the most. Shawn always knew something funny to say to make goodbyes seem so much easier and she'd yet to find a hug as good as her mother's.

"Be safe out there." Daddy said as he pulled her tight to him. Beth nodded against his chest, blinking back tears as she pulled away to press a kiss to his cheek.

"And have fun." Maggie reminded her with a conspiratorial wink before hugging her tightly.

After a quick hug with Glenn Beth blinked tears out of her eyes as she watched her family get into their cars and drive off. She wrapped her arms around herself and let Daryl walk her back to where her car and his bike were parked. Savannah wasn't that far so they didn't need to leave until the morning. Beth focused on counting her breaths as she tried to shake off the feeling she always got when she said goodbyes. That this would be the last time she ever saw her family.

Beth swiped angrily at a tear that managed to escape and cast a rueful smile at Daryl who was watching her silently.

"I hate goodbyes." she admitted trying and failing not to think of why she hated them so much.

Daryl nodded solemnly looking at his bike. "Me too."

Beth ran her fingers under her eyes before giving Daryl a weak smile and bidding him good night. She was already driving off of the lot when it occurred to her that she had something in common with her surly bodyguard after all.

XxX

There are still some knives remaining and Beth happily fastens a bone handled one to her belt. She wonders why people didn't take the knives as well as the guns but she doesn't mind since it means her and Daryl are leaving the store with more than one weapon each. It is better than what she'd been expecting. She leaves her kitchen knife on the counter and tries to tamp down the guilt in her stomach over leaving a store without paying. Again. She hopes that she won't become used to the feeling but if everywhere they pass is like this, she doesn't see how she won't.

They are almost to the doors when the moaning she'd heard earlier comes back, this time much louder than before. Beth lets the bow hang against her back and clutches her new knife in her hands, looking around her nervously. Daryl looks over his shoulder at her and waves her forward. Beth nods and continues, her heart pounding in her throat.

As she passes the dark empty space between two aisles the moans get louder and Beth turns to look, startled. A man and a woman, or what used to be, are stumbling towards her. Beth shudders in fear and turns to run after Daryl. As she turns, she screams in horror to find a dead one only inches from her.

Beth shoves at their chest and makes it around them as they stumble. The other two had been heading towards Daryl but they turned her way after her scream. She sees Daryl fire a bolt at one of them and they growl but keep coming. He swings his bow up and hits the other in the face, crumpling half its head in. Beth's hand shakes on her knife as she reminds herself these are not people. Not anymore.

Daryl is reloading his bow and Beth runs as the woman reaches for him, her mouth open to reveal bloodstained teeth. Beth shoves her backwards and she falls onto the broken pieces of one of the aisles. Part of it goes through her chest and she stays down, stuck. Her arms never stop reaching up for them, her mouth never stops moving. Beth stares down at her in horror as another corpse's hands close around her upper arms and Beth yelps in fear. Daryl turns at the noise and she strains as she tries to pull her arms free or shake the monster off of her.

Daryl has the sight of his crossbow aimed at them but he must not be able to get a clear shot because he lets it drop and swing by the strap around his back, pulling his knife from its sheath as he approaches them. He shoves the walker back as Beth moves forward, wrenching her from its grasp. She lets out a sob of relief in time to see Daryl shoves his knife into the person's chest. Beth pants with her hands on her knees and waits for the thing to fall.

It only growls louder and keeps coming, reaching its hands out towards Daryl who curses and backs up, his knife still lodged where its heart should be.

"Why isn't it stopping?" Beth asks in surprise. She'd been surrounded by the things in the stadium and when they got on the bus but now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen any of them die. Could they even die?

The thought fills her with fear and she sways on her feet as Daryl fires a bolt into the thing's throat.

It has no more effect than the knife although now the moans are splintered and wet.

Whirling Beth looks down at the one that had attacked Daryl, it is still down on the floor and she nudges it with her boot. It doesn't move. Daryl is still firing bolts into the dead man's body, screaming profanity at him as Beth looks down at the caved in mess that used to someone's face.

"The brain." she whispers before turning to Daryl who has paused to reload his bow as the walker stumbles back up to its feet after the force of the last bolt knocked it down.

"The head! Shoot it in the head!" Beth cries, grabbing her knife as Daryl is still reloading. Her eyes are wide as she watches him take aim and fire, the bolt landing with a thunk between the man's eyes.

He crumples to the floor instantly.

Beth looks around wildly but it doesn't seem like there are any other things nearby. The woman is still pinned into place and Daryl looks down at her, batting away her hands as he steps closer and puts his blade into her temple. She stills at once.

"Least we know how to kill 'em." Daryl grunts before he stoops and begins to pull his arrows from the corpses.

Beth nods once before the horrors of the last twenty-four hours hit her and she turns away from Daryl to throw up the meager contents of her stomach.

XxX

Daryl looked even more solemn than usual on the bus the next evening. Beth sat across from him on the couch, her guitar in her lap and her songbook on the cushion next to her. She looked up at him every now and then, curious despite herself at how he almost seemed jumpy.

Deciding that maybe he was just nervous about being on the bus Beth turned back to her music and did her best to pretend that he wasn't on the bus with her. They had a long while to go, he hadn't seemed that nervous that morning when they'd left Atlanta but now that they were heading south toward Florida, he seemed so anxious Beth thought if she threw something at him, he might have a heart attack.

Beth turned and watched the dark highway blur past her window, Daryl was twisted around to stare out of his and she wondered whether he thought he would be able to see anything out there in the dark or if he was just trying really hard not to look at her.

They passed the 'Welcome to Florida' sign, lit by a small bulb, and Beth smiled to herself, happy that the tour is fully underway. She won't be back for another seven months.

Daryl sighed from across from her pulling Beth from her thoughts. She looked up at him curiously. He looked calmer than he had all evening. He noticed her eyes on him and slouched further into his seat, shrugging as he mumbled. "Never been out of Georgia before."

Beth raised her eyebrows in surprise, looking out the window where the sign they'd past had been.

"You can't say that anymore." she reminded him. Daryl shrugged again and Beth went back to her songbook. He had clearly been waiting to pass the state line because only a few minutes later she looked up again to find him fast asleep.

XxX

They don't speak much that evening. What is there to say really? Beth doesn't know what to do about those things, the dead that won't stay dead. She knows they are dangerous, that they are not who they used to be. She saw the way they kept moving even after they'd received wounds that would have easily killed any living human. Beth knows whoever they were once, whatever they are now will not hesitate to kill her.

Still the thought of having to drive her knife into the skull of another human was making her shiver in horror. She keeps her thoughts to herself as Daryl directed her out of the city and onto a small farming road. She parks the bus behind the farmhouse per his instructions so the bus is hidden from the road. Beth watches a little windmill spinning in the breeze and she swallows hard memories of her own farm.

Memories will do her no good tonight. Not even happy ones.

Daryl insists on taking the first watch since he had gotten sleep earlier. Beth is too tired to protest but the moment she lays down in her bunk she knows it'll be futile. Every time she closes her eyes, she sees the carnage in the stadium or the trio of dead that nearly killed them in the store.

After nearly an hour of this Beth gives up on sleep. Shoving her boots on she grabs the blanket off her bunk and checks to make sure her knife is on her hip before heading outside and up the ladder to the roof where Daryl is pacing, keeping watch on the dark still land around them.

He looks over as she comes to stand beside him and she tugs her blanket closer around her shoulders.

"See anything?" Beth asks, careful to keep her voice quiet. She knows how odd sound can travel in these open places. Daryl shakes his head no and Beth sighs in relief. "Thank you. For earlier." She wants to apologize for freezing, for being unable to kill those things that attacked them. She doesn't by reassuring herself it will never happen again. She will never again let herself be foolish enough to think of them as human.

"Hired to protect you." Daryl grunts and Beth shifts her eyes to the side to study him. She can't tell if he's joking or not.

"Pretty sure the undead wasn't in the job description." Beth says with a quirk of her brows.

Daryl shrugs and turns his steely blue eyes on her. "Any and all threats."

"That's quite a blanket statement." Beth nods, feeling the faintest trace of a smile start to touch her lips. She feels a mixture of surprise and relief, she had begun to think she wouldn't smile ever again. "Next time I need a bodyguard I'll make sure to include exceptions for the end of the world."

Daryl rolls his eyes in response and Beth bites her lip, a real grin trying to come out. It feels wrong to smile with the world like it is.

"You need to sleep." Daryl says as he turns away from her to scan the area behind them.

Beth nods, she does. Her bones feel tired at this point. Still, she knows it's useless to try. Hesitating a moment Beth moves to the middle of the roof, sitting down carefully and wincing at the cool of the metal seeping through her jeans.

Wrapping her blanket tighter around her Beth tilts her head back and looks up. There are more stars out than she has ever seen before.

She focuses on them and the sound of Daryl's soft footfalls as he makes laps on the roof, occasionally climbing down to check around the side of the farmhouse. Eventually Beth leans back and stretches out along the roof. With the night stars in her eyes and Daryl's footsteps in her ears Beth finally falls asleep.