Late Nights 2: Feelings

by LexannH

Feelings (Part 1/?); The thing with conversations involving the heart, is that everyone's vulnerable. And for someone who has chosen to love someone in silence because there is no rejection, one of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you cant utter. [Sort of a 'sequel' to LateNights-Sendoh/Rukawa]

4. Chapter 4

Late Nights 2: Feelings (Part 3/?)

A/N: Life happened. Been terribly busy. Sorry, this isn't quite the *one* you're probably expecting, but I'm working on it.

Standard Disclaimers Apply

XXX

"Rukawa… I…" Sendoh felt his hand gripped the stick shift. Rukawa kept his silence. "I think… we need to talk." Sendoh stated slowly but clearly, a wistful smile on his lips. Rukawa simply stared—almost unreceptively. He found himself nodding though. "Sure."

Weird. Rukawa inwardly mused. Rukawa thought Sendoh sounded a bit odd. Like as if he's having a dilemma about something. The younger had always notice that Sendoh seemed to look a lot a bit 'anxious' these past few days. He wondered if its because of his graveyard shifts. He has been doing it for almost a month and to be fair, the guy deserves a break. Rukawa honestly thought Sendoh must not be getting enough sleep. He sighed softly as his eyes roamed around the vehicle—from the glove compartment in front of him, to the stereo, then back at front. Rukawa furrowed his brows. "Are we there yet?" He muttered a bit impatiently.

Sendoh was surprised to hear Rukawa asked. "Uh, yeah, just a few more minutes." A pause. "You hungry?" He answered, eyes not leaving the road. Rukawa isn't that hungry though. "Yeah." Sendoh scoffed lightly, his lips curving into his usual smile. "Sorry." Rukawa snorted and leaned back on the seat, head against the passenger window. "Wake me up when we arrived in Hong Kong."

Sendoh chuckled, feeling amused at Rukawa's sarcasm. Rukawa simply snorted softly, the corner of his mouth subtlety tugging upward as he closes his eyes. "Don't you dare sleep on me." Sendoh muttered. Rukawa snorted, shaking his head slightly, his eyes still closed. "I'm just gonna doze and die here… hungry." Sendoh, for the nth time, laughed inside the vehicle. It was… surreal. This feeling of happiness. No matter how measly it seemed, Sendoh honestly thought, he was lucky. And he'd probably be the luckiest if he tells on his feelings tonight and is reciprocated.

A few more minutes more and Sendoh pulled over a parking stop. He briefly looked at his phone then to the place outside which was rather beaming with lights and mood. He pressed something on his phone before turning the engine off, casting a look to his right and was greeted by the soft snoring of Rukawa—head against the window, arms crossed on his chest, eyes shut. Sendoh took in the moment to stare at the person he's with.

Tonight, is the night he promised himself. Tonight, he would tell Rukawa of his feelings. Feelings he kept for years. He sighed and momentarily stared at nothing in particular. "I think I love you…" Sendoh muttered in his low and quiet voice, then slapped his forehead. He dumped again a sigh. "There's something you need to know… I love you. I've loved you since…" Sendoh uttered in his low voice, feeling stupid for seemingly 'practising' a line, only that he actually doesn't have one. Sendoh rolled his eyes and slapped again his forehead.

"Rukawa, I just want you to know that…" Sendoh started in his low voice, eyes in front of the vehicle, his right hand seemingly waving as if trying to explain.

"…what?" A yawn. Sendoh's eyes widened as he bumped his head on the window to his left, head darting to his right, eyes wide, as he felt his blood pumping organ jumped up and down his ribcage. "Jesus! Oww!" Sendoh muttered as he rubbed his head.

Rukawa stretched his arms and yawned for the nth time, rubbing his eyes with his hands and sleepily staring to his left, raising a brow. "Jesus? Where?" He slurred and rolled his eyes as he looked around him. Sendoh cleared his throat and released his seatbelt but tried to fight back the impending chuckle caused by Rukawa's sarcasm.

"Uh-nothing, w-we're here." Sendoh uttered, coughing and clearing his throat. "How long have you been awake?" Sendoh asked, sounding a bit dubious than usual. He wondered if Rukawa heard. For crying out loud, he wanted to just get out of the car and maybe… run away from the stoic boy. Rukawa frowned. "Huh? What do you mean?" A pause. Sendoh blinked his eyes and waved his hand. "N-nothing, never mind." Rukawa snorted. "Doaho."

Sendoh opened the door and got out, relieved to have the air around him. He sighed as he saw Rukawa getting out on the other side of the vehicle, looking still a tad bit sleepy. He saw Rukawa yawned and looked around. Sendoh walked around the front of the car and led the way while browsing on his phone. "I guess this is the place." He muttered. Rukawa simply grunted and followed the taller guy, a few steps behind him.

Both boys paused—stopped before the entrance. Rukawa blinked his eyes, quite a bit confused but is very much passive. He discreetly turned to the person to his right and saw Sendoh alternately looking at his phone then in front; at the standing guy, smiling, donned under a flowery polo/summer shirt and some khaki trousers with an apron around his waist.

"I don't get it…" Sendoh stated, shaking his head. Rukawa snorted and placed a hand on his hip, walking towards Sendoh a bit and peeping onto his phone. Sendoh felt his breath shortened and the hairs at the back of his nape stand up as their proximities closed. He can literally feel Rukawa's right arm onto his left, their heads almost onto each other. Sendoh swallowed involuntarily trying to remain calm and very much wanting to just back a few steps away. He was about to do so when Rukawa grabbed his phone to his surprise.

"Rukawa-?!" Sendoh stated, eyes widened. Rukawa browse Sendoh's phone and understood what's been bothering his colleague all along. He, too, frowned. Sendoh sighed and rolled his eyes. "Its supposed to be a Asian-fusion restaurant but…" Sendoh stared at the seemingly exotic-themed drinking establishment with a romanticized conception of tropical cultures, more like Polynesian. From above, the name of the establishment emblazoned in red led lights; it read Traders V©.

Rukawa held up Sendoh's phone to the guy in front. "Where is this place?" The guy looked closely and nodded. "Oh, if you're looking for that Hakka© Asian-fusion restaurant, it closed a few months ago, its this place, now." A smile. "Would you like to come inside and check us out?" He smiled encouragingly and the two officers could only look at each other. Rukawa nodded, understanding the now closed case of confusion. He handed Sendoh's phone back. "Uh, no thanks, we'll head out." Sendoh stated, pocketing his phone and turning around to walk away. "I guess we should try one of the restaurants I saw on the way from here." Sendoh stated without even looking back. He paused when he noticed he was talking and walking alone to himself. He looked around and saw Rukawa talking at the guy in front while holding a menu. Sendoh rolled his eyes and went back.

"Don't tell me." Sendoh started. Rukawa simply snorted and shrugged. "Never thought you like tiki bars." Rukawa muttered, almost tugging his lips upward and walking inside the tiki bar as the guy ushered them both. Sendoh chuckled, feeling a bit embarrassed, his ears burning, luckily it was dark. "Doaho, I dont. Actually." A pause. "Then again, maybe I needed a drink." Sendoh muttered but he simply just followed inside.

And as expected of a tiki bar, the blaring sound of summer music filled the whole place. In fairness, there were quite a number of people inside. The interior is filled with tiki masks and carvings, hula girl motifs, large tropical murals, live plants—mostly palms, there's also bamboo, grass cloth, torches on the large wooden pillars supporting the whole place and some woven fish traps. The tables were all made of wood grazed with tapa cloth and pufferfish lamps and glass floats on either table. On one corner, there's a small indoor fountain with illuminated lava stones. The whole place was dimly lit but the atmosphere was very tropical making patrons and everyone feel they had been transported away to a new entire village.

The guy ushered them on one corner, sensing the two tall men wouldn't want to engage with other visitors, he placed two menus on a two-seater table. "I hope you're okay with this table." A pause. "But we do have the bar open for two more people if you would like. He smiled. "No, we're good. Thanks." Sendoh uttered and soon the two sat down, their eyes roaming around as people of different colors, age, and race get together. They were laughing, chatting loudly, and drinking as if there's some celebration going on.

From one corner, there were a group of women who was laughing and eyeing the two of them, obviously they caught their attention. Sendoh, being accustomed to this and not bearing any form of interest casted his gaze from the table straight onto the only person his vision has been focusing on for the past twelve years. He saw Rukawa seemingly looking at the menu and it gave him a brief moment to stare yet again at the latter.

Sendoh would have laughed because Rukawa actually looked like he's on duty. He was wearing a dark blue polo shirt, sleeves folded up to his elbows, a pair of dark cargo pants and his semi-cut work boots. While he, he was simply wearing a plain grey white crew neck shirt, denim pants and his old pair of low cut sneakers. Sendoh even forgot his badge, he wondered if Rukawa has his, but knowing the guy, he knew Rukawa is diligent to his personal things.

"You got a gun?" Sendoh muttered lowly, grinning as he did so. Rukawa shot his eyes up, and blinked. Sendoh grinned, chuckling as he did so. Rukawa knew what Sendoh is thinking. He snorted. Sendoh chuckled. "Doaho. I'm off duty."

"So, found something you like to eat?" Sendoh queried, opening the menu likewise in front of him. Rukawa simply shrugged. What actually piqued his interest are the various specialty drinks. Rukawa randomly pointed something on the menu and soon after a guy came to take their order and then the two were left as they waited. Silence. Or more like, just the loud and engaging music of Smooth by the infamous Santana is keeping them preoccupied. Sendoh grabbed the glass of water in front of him and drank. It was ironic how the first stanza of the song almost defines what he's been feeling, almost literally though. He discreetly batted an eye at Rukawa who was leaning back on the chair, both hands probably in his pocket, his stare caught engrossed across somewhere; Sendoh tried to look to wherever he thought Rukawa was staring onto—and landed his eyes on a table of three women who were chatting to themselves but their body language is telling him that the girls probably wanted to approach either one of them. Rukawa is still, after all, a guy and Sendoh knew that its normal for the younger to cast his eyes on the opposite sex. Sendoh clacked softly to himself, wanting to just grab Rukawa by the hand and led him away from the place!

This isn't really the type of confession ambience he was expecting. Well, as if the twelve years isn't enough to mock him. But, it seems that he doesn't have any choice but to ride it; Sendoh is hoping that he'll have a moment soon with Rukawa. Even just a few minutes or so… Sendoh drank his last gulp of water and placed the glass down. Rukawa turned his gaze at Sendoh and pushed his glass towards him to Sendoh's surprise. Their eyes locked. Sendoh wanted to just actually grab Rukawa by the collar and shout at him like, 'stop making me fall even harder, Rukawa, you jerk.' He inwardly mused.

Sendoh blinked, imagining himself actually doing that and was taken out of his reverie when Rukawa spoke. "What's wrong?" Rukawa muttered monotonously. A pause. "You okay?" That awkward moment when someone asks you 'what's wrong' and they're the problem? Yep. Sendoh very much understood. He shrugged. "Yeah." A pause. "I'm good, thanks." Deep inside, he can feel his anxiety growing by the minute.

Rukawa snorted. "I think they're looking at you." Rukawa muttered and tilted his head to where he was staring his eyes a few minutes ago. Sendoh blinked, a bit confused. He slowly turned his head to the right and saw the table with the ladies. He scoffed and shook his head. "How did you know they were looking at me." He paused. "Could be you." Sendoh added, smirking a bit as he did so. Rukawa simply snorted and said nothing. He brought out his celphone, placed it atop the table, leaned forwards and started browsing nonchalantly.

Silence. Sendoh wondered where's the comforting silence he thought he shared with Rukawa before. It seemed to have jumped off of the car as they were driving. "You don't seem fine." Sendoh blinked his surprised, turned to look at the person in front who was busy browsing on his phone, not looking at him though. Sendoh shifted in his seat and shrugged. "I'm fine." A smile. Rukawa looked up, lips pursed passively, eyes unsure if he heard Sendoh alright. "Hn." He grunted. Sendoh scoffed, smirked a bit. "Fine, I just have a lot of things in my mind lately." Sendoh finally admitted. His first acknowledgment of the night.

Rukawa simply listened, deep inside, he wondered though. Their eyes met. Rukawa was the first to avert his gaze somewhere. His brows furrowed. "Maybe…" Sendoh waited almost in anticipation. "…you ought to ask Sarge to change your schedule." Rukawa muttered lowly. "I could do nights." He added. Sendoh blinked, chuckled amusedly. Rukawa frowned. "What's funny?" Sendoh shook his head and raised both of his hands. "N-no, I mean… you're the precinct poster model so, morning shift suits you." A grin. Rukawa snorted, obviously annoyed. "Bull."

Sendoh laughed, remembering that the precinct actually has a poster outside their building with Rukawa's face on it. "You lack sleep, your brain seems to be deteriorating." Rukawa muttered, tugging his lips a bit upwards. No matter how funny it may sound, to Sendoh, it almost comforted him—he took in Rukawa's words as concern and how he almost wanted to smile and hug him. Sendoh smiled and looked down on the table, drumming his fingers on the table, the tapa grass cloth of the table suddenly looking a tad bit interesting.

"T-Thanks, yeah, maybe I should." He sighed. And then there was the joint program. Sendoh gulped, suddenly remembering the joint program from the LAPD and the three months he only has left before he leaves! He felt his right hand closed in a fist. Rukawa never made it to the joint program and Sendoh wondered if he should at least, maybe, tell him this, as well. "Remember that officer's joint program we applied for, last year?"

"What joint program?" Sendoh queried but felt his chest raced. Rukawa snorted and almost rolled his eyes. "The one with LAPD?"

Sendoh blinked as he looked up to meet Rukawa's seemingly unperturbed and inquisitive gaze. At that given moment, Sendoh wanted to become deaf. "Oh… yeah, why?" Sendoh cleared his throat and dreaded the question. Why? Is Rukawa some sort of a mind-reader? Why does he seem to brought up questions that's been lurking around his mind these past few days? Sendoh wondered if this is the right time to actually confess. It feels as if there are 'pessimisms' surrounding his chosen night of declaration. He wondered if he should take it as a sign. Rukawa shrugged. "I haven't got any response from them since then." A pause.

Sendoh swallowed involuntarily, shifted from his seat, cleared his throat and nodded. "Oh." Rukawa looked up at him. "How about you?" Sendoh weirdly reached out his hand on the pufferfish lamp in front of them and shifted it by its base uncomfortably. "Oh well… I don't know… I mean, I haven't been checking my emails so…" Sendoh trailed off. Rukawa nodded. Silence. "Maybe I didn't make it to the cut." Rukawa muttered. Sendoh paused in his action and stared—his eyes seeing Rukawa staring at nothing in particular on their table. Difficult situations will always present themselves. You just have to stay cool and worked through them; Sendoh wondered if the mantra is actually applicable to everything. In the end, he thought, maybe not.

"Well…" Sendoh started, shifting the pufferfish lamp yet again. "…maybe they haven't finished sorting thru applicants yet." A lie. Sendoh secretly prayed it wouldn't get back at him. He stated lowly and gulped, eyes on the lamp. Silence. Sendoh felt the air getting a bit heavier than when they first arrived. Pressure. He secretly wished Rukawa would stop his inquiry about the goddamn program.

"What the hell are you doing with that lamp, anyway?" Rukawa muttered. His eyes suddenly reverting back to its 'normal' glare. Sendoh looked up, blinking. Rukawa snorted. Sendoh scoffed lightly and smiled a bit wistfully. "Nothing. I just… first time seeing a lamp like this." He stated rather stupidly, but the feeling of being quite forlorn is still around him. "I want to bring it home." He chuckled to himself. "I'll probably steal it later." Rukawa snorted and rolled his eyes. "I don't have a gun, but I have my cuffs, you know." "Yeah but, you're off-duty so…" Sendoh trailed off. Rukawa rolled his eyes. They both laughed, Sendoh suddenly thanking the air got a little lighter. Just then, their food was served.

XXX

Sunday, 9:45PM

Fukuda was busy browsing on his laptop; his eyes hovering something in particular when the familiar ding of incoming mail got his attention. He sighed and opened the mail and flickered his eyes a bit when he saw to whom its from.

To: Fukuda K.

Subject: Night Shift Memorandum

Fr: Uozumi J.

I made a list of officers that I think would need a change of schedule to fit into your night shift, in replace of Sendoh. I'm assigning you as the new Captain of the third shift twelve weeks from now. Email me back when you don't see the following as fitting.

1. XXXX XXXXXXXXX

2. XXXXXX XXXXXX

3. XXXXXXXX XXXXXX

4. Mitsui Hisashi

5. Rukawa Kaede

Fukuda grunted and said nothing, tapping his finger on the table. He felt his brows furrowed as he leaned back, placing both arms behind his head, eyes staring at the ceiling. 'Fucking troublesome.' Fukuda pushed his chair back, stood up, got some cigarettes and lit it up. He leaned at the door to his balcony—suddenly feeling a tad bit stressed. He never wanted the responsibility to be 'captain' of the nights. Sendoh is the most fitting of them all.

His mind wandered off to Sendoh's approved joint program. He sighed and inhaled deeper, letting the nicotine seeped into his system, his eyes staring into nothing particular. He wondered if Sendoh already told Rukawa of his feelings. More than feelings itself, Fukuda wondered if Rukawa ever knew of Sendoh's passing on the joint program. Fukuda clacked his tongue, blew out some smoke and went out of the balcony, leaning on the cemented wall. 'Fucking. Troublesome.' His mind reiterated once more. A ring on his phone and Fukuda was made to check who it was—he rolled his eyes and tried to 'straighten' up.

"Sarge?" He slurred. "Yeah, I got your email." A pause. Fukuda inhaled on his cig, lazily leaning on the balcony as he exhaled up while his right hand held on his phone. Uozumi threw in the question. Fukuda had barely time to think. And trusting his gut feeling, he could only mouth the sole bearer of the name. He dumped a sigh and scoffed lightly. "Rukawa Kaede." A pause. "Yes, Sarge." A pause. "Yeah." Pause. "Okay Sarge… will do so." A pause. "Noted Sarge." Dial tone.

Fukuda took in the moment to stare at his phone and placed it atop the coffee table nearby. He clacked his tongue, eyes hovering around his quiet neighborhood. In the stillness of the night, Fukuda was made to wonder about the irony of the so-called emotion; love. Its odd enough that there's a lot of people out there who secretly loves someone; and yet, still, there's also many people out there, who have no idea…that someone secretly loves them.

He sighed for the nth time, got his phone and dialled the number of one familiar person—someone whom he considers as close to him as well, other than Sendoh. Ring. An answer—the voice, soothing, calming. Most of all, it belonged to someone important. "Hello?" Fukuda sighed and leaned back on the balcony, feeling the tugging of his lips upward. "Jin, its me." A pause. "Can I see you tonight?"

The problem with loving someone secretly, is that you have to accept the responsibility that eventually, you'll hurt, silently. Fukuda was glad his was no secret. "Oh. Sure, but why?" The voice on the other line queried. Fukuda scoffed lightly. "Nothing really…" A pause. "I… just missed you."

XXX

From the lazy spin of the fans, to the recumbent light of eventide that will soon be starlit black, the bar soaks in the ambience of that good night. The place is hundreds of conversations told in loud voices, some of them competing with the summer/reggae music that dominates the atmosphere. An hour after they both finished eating, both men found themselves wound up and sitting on the bar, staring as the talented baristas flipped bottles, shakers, and whatever, demonstrating their talents and skill as they concoct drinks to the patrons and regular customers.

The crowd clapped their hands and cheered as their drinks have been made. "I could flip like that too, if it was an orange ball." Rukawa muttered, sending Sendoh chuckling. "Yeah, I bet you could." Rukawa found himself smirking a bit. "And then people would tip me hundreds of dollars for doing something so trivial." Sendoh laughed. "H-hey, flipping bottles and shakers doesn't looked too easy at all." He paused. "I'd probably break all the glasses in the house before I could even catch one."

The bartender, bowed, smiled, chatted a bit and continued serving the others, including them. Rukawa watched in slight awe as he stared down onto his drink. The two actually didn't know what to drink and just let the barista gave them whatever. Sendoh had a good laugh when Rukawa was presented with a drink called zombie.

"What is this?" Rukawa asked the smiling bartender. The guy shrugged. "One of our infamous drinks here, it's the zombie. I thought you'd like a good combination of light and dark rums, some citrus juices, passion fruit puree, and maybe grenadine and bitters?" He grinned, feeling proud to have recited the ingredients almost flawlessly. Rukawa simply nodded and shrugged. "Sounds interesting." The bartender laughed. "It tastes even more interesting." He then turns to Sendoh who was simply looking at them. "And you, what can I get you?" Sendoh shrugged. "Whatever you think suits me, I guess." He grinned. Rukawa placed the glass onto his lips and tasted zombie.

"Good?" The bartender asked. Rukawa simply nodded. Sendoh chuckled. "Will he turn into a zombie after?" The bartender simply laughed. "I doubt so." Rukawa glared at Sendoh, the taller guy simply leered. It was Rukawa's turned to pull of an insult as Sendoh was given some drink called painkiller.

"Thought you might need it." The bartender joked, grinning as he did so, while wiping some newly cleaned glasses. Sendoh simply scoffed. "Actually, I think I do." He nonchalantly exclaimed, not really thinking much. Deep inside, he cant believed the irony of things sometimes. The two men laughed. Rukawa simply scoffed and shook his head. "Something that suits you, huh." Rukawa muttered. Sendoh simply rolled his eyes and shrugged. The bartender approached them one more time to asked if they needed anything and went off to serve other customers. The bar was suddenly packed on that Sunday evening.

Sendoh was roaming his eyes in between his petty conversations with Rukawa and wondered—looks like his confession that evening might not pull through. But, if not now, when? Sendoh returned his gaze in front, to the hundred of bottles and glasses lining up the bar, then to his companion who was almost just an elbow away from him. He could literally see Rukawa randomly browsing on his phone, some sports news or whatever.

Sendoh heaved a sigh and drank slowly from his colourful concocted drink, tasting the mix of navy and dark rum, pineapple, coconut, and nutmeg. He licked his lips with his tongue and swallowed involuntarily. His mind is quite the opposite of his surroundings. While the background is beaming with lights, noise, and summer vibes, his mind on the other hand is in disarray; like its having an endless argument with his chest. He was taken aback though when Rukawa turned to him. Sendoh shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. "You having… a good time?" Sendoh stupidly asks. Deep inside he knew it sounded weird. Rukawa isn't a girl and they're not even on a date, although he secretly imagined this is one.

Rukawa snorted. "Depends on your definition of good time." Sendoh stared at Rukawa who was simply staring back at him; like almost seeing through him. His asset, his eyes that seemed to glare right through him coupled with that cerulean pair of orbs. Sendoh thought he was drowning as he could not bring himself to stare away. Good thing Rukawa spoke. "Since this is all your treat, I guess it's a good time indeed." Rukawa muttered with a slight smirk. Sendoh blinked and chuckled. "Yeah, of course. Just order another glass or whatever." He muttered back, nodding as he did so.

Rukawa's brows furrowed. "Are you sure you didn't win the lottery or something?" Sendoh chuckled. "Gods no, how I wish I did but… no." A pause. He drank from his glass. "Goddamn lottery tickets, got no luck on those things." He answered, staring at Rukawa. "Its fine, if you don't want to tell me you just won two million dollars." Rukawa muttered back, joking on a bit, sipping on his own glass as well. "I did not win… sheesh." Rukawa chuckled softly. "Though I wish I'd won something else…" Sendoh nonchalantly trailed off. "Like what?" Rukawa did a follow up. Sendoh blinked, he did not expect Rukawa to asked away. He gulped and shifted on his seat for the nth time.

"Just someone…" He almost whispered—but Rukawa seemed to be born with elephant ears. "Someone?" Rukawa furrowed his brows. Sendoh gape a bit and drank from his glass. 'Damn you, Rukawa Kaede. I want to chop your ears off, you… you… lovely prick.' He inwardly mused. "What someone?" Rukawa pressed further, eyes almost twinkling in amusement. Sendoh chuckled, placing a hand on his lips, feeling the warmth of his ears. He heaved a sigh and turned to the younger. "Someone's approval." He muttered finally, almost gauging if Rukawa would notice at least.

Rukawa blinked, not quite 'getting' what Sendoh said. He nodded and shrugged. "Approval…" A pause. He drank from his glass, paused then turned to look at Sendoh who was looking at him, as if expecting. Only then Rukawa nodded. "Ah, I get it…" Sendoh's brow furrowed. "What?" Feeling the slight thumping of his chest.

"Of course, you need Uozumi's approval to shift your schedule." Rukawa stated. "I mean, he said you're his best guy at nights." Sendoh almost choked, coughing as he partly chuckled and cough alternately. 'Jesus. Rukawa, you'll be the death of me.' Rukawa chuckled a bit. "What the hell happened to you?" Sendoh shook his head. "Forget it. Just… drink will you." Sendoh muttered, waving his hand. Rukawa simply snorted. "I think Sarge will approved of it anyway." Rukawa nodded. Sendoh simply grinned and said nothing. Silence.

They both decided to order another round of rum cocktails, and another, trying out other variants and alternatively engaging in a small, random conversation while looking at the live performers on the stage not far from where the bar is. The night seemed forgotten as the bar is now swarmed with people who's out to just end the week with some good vibe.

The crowd suddenly seemed to be getting onto the middle, dancing to the tune of a familiar hit back in the nineties. Rukawa blinked his eyes, gape a bit and turned to Sendoh. "I know this fucking song." He muttered, almost smirking. Sendoh chuckled, shook his head. It was Macarena. The familiar intro of the infamous song played, and soon after the crowd started dancing and grooving to the music. "I remember my brother and I danced to it when we were in grade school." Sendoh uttered, laughing as he reminisces the years. "Ahh… so you danced to it, eh." Rukawa started in a tone as if wanting to tease Sendoh.

"Ma-ca-re-na, Sen-doh- A-ki-ra…" Rukawa taunted as he pounds his fist per syllable on the bar playfully; almost uncharacteristically of him. "See, it even rhymes with your name." Rukawa teased.

"No. No. No. No- noooo." Sendoh warned as he lifted his right hand, chuckling.

"You cant admit you danced to it, if you aint got proof, doaho." Rukawa jeered further.

"Gods no, don't make me, Rukawa." Sendoh warned again. "I'm cuffing you on that stupid chair." Rukawa chuckled amusedly at Sendoh's sudden 'irritated' attitude. It was rare to see Sendoh annoyed.

"You could join the crowd, there's a lot of people there—I wont tell anyone…" Rukawa drank from his glass, chuckling lowly.

"No. Why don't you, do it instead?" Sendoh countered.

"I did not dance to it." Rukawa answered.

"Liar, you just said you know the damn song." Sendoh exclaimed, laughing.

Rukawa scoffed. "I did—everyone knows it, but you… you just said you danced to it." Rukawa smirked.

Sendoh shook his head. "Fuck, that was a long time ago, no…" He trailed off.

Rukawa chortled lowly. "Why'd you dance it anyway?"

Sendoh rolled his eyes. "My brother—he had a crush on his classmate back then and wanted to show off he can dance. Drag me to it. Stupid jerk." Sendoh muttered, chuckling lowly. Rukawa snickered a bit. "Coward." He uttered. Sendoh scoffed. "Still, a no." Rukawa, too, smirked, and nodded. Apparently, he and his older sister danced to it as well-the world seemed to have done so. But Sendoh doesn't need to know.

Silence.

"Must be some crush." Rukawa uttered. Sendoh nodded, sensing an opportunity somewhere, decided to manoeuvre the question as if to prod a bit. "You ever got a crush on someone?" Sendoh asked smoothly, deep inside, years of knowing Rukawa, he is still dying to know. Rukawa seemed a bit loose already that night, must be the alcohol in his system but Sendoh can still sense his titanium-made wall lurking around.

Rukawa shrugged, eyes a bit droopy but sending occasional glares here and then. Sendoh chuckled. "Hey, it's a simple question, don't you shrug it off on me, hahaha. Its just a crush, doaho." Sendoh muttered. Rukawa scoffed, stirred his drink of rum and coke and nodded. Sendoh waited in anticipation, he can actually feel his stomach twisting.

"I did." Rukawa admitted. Sendoh waited for details. Rukawa shrugged. "It was in middle school." Rukawa said as if he just read it off of a book. Sendoh rolled his eyes. "Gods, you suck at details." He chuckled. Rukawa scoffed. "What details do you want anyway?"

"Name, descriptions, height, specifics… c'mon, you know the drill." A pause. "Girl or a…" Sendoh dared asked. Rukawa glared an eye to his left, Sendoh felt himself swallowed. It was something he expected, deep inside, he's wondering if he's actually digging his own grave. He kept his usual unbothered demeanor and grinned.

Rukawa snorted. "She's a member of the female basketball team." A pause. "Tall. Dark hair. Fair. Brown eyes." Rukawa drank. "She's…okay."

"That's a weird name. Okay?" Sendoh joked. Rukawa twitched his lips. "I forgot already. Doaho." Sendoh grinned.

Deep inside he felt a bit—surprised, quite expecting that but probably not expecting to feel a tad bit disappointed? But, it was so long ago, middle school, Sendoh believes people and things change. Feelings… maybe, preferences, too.

He smiled and nodded. "I see… you seem to like people who share your interests, huh." Sendoh said almost meaningfully. Inside, he thought he's probably just filling his pail with hope, but, isn't that what everyone looks forward to? The feeling of hope. It keeps everyone alive, like a reason for them to live. Rukawa simply snorted and said nothing. "She likes someone else." Sendoh blinked, kept his silence, urging for the latter to continue. Rukawa wryly smiled and stared at Sendoh's cobalt blue gaze. "Some drip from the chess team." Sendoh blinked. "Probably a grandmaster." Sendoh jokingly added. Then they both laughed.

"I'm no one actually; I'm just the captain of the basketball team and she likes weed-looking chess players. Nice." Rukawa muttered carelessly; chuckling a bit, liking that the joke is on him.

Sendoh laughed, wanting the night and moment to last. "Yeah, you're just a nobody anyway." This is, by far, he thought, the best late nights he had with Rukawa Kaede.

"Maybe… you're just meant for someone else." Sendoh stated a bit lowly, his eyes staring onto his half-full glass. Rukawa did not react. Silence. And it was then Sendoh decided to act on his feelings. After all, he can never be too sure if that one chance will still be there. "Do you know how long we've known each other, Rukawa?" Sendoh stated rather lowly, his eyes staring onto his own glass. Rukawa paused browsing on his phone and looked at his left. He knew Sendoh wanted for them to talk, he wondered what its about. Rukawa shrugged. "Not sure." A pause. "Ten years?"

"Twelve." Sendoh corrected, staring at Rukawa who was a bit surprised that he thought wrongly. Sendoh smiled a bit. "Probably thirteen but… you were still in first year high school then and I only got to know you better when I'm already on my senior year." Sendoh trailed off. Rukawa simply listened. Sendoh chuckled lowly. "Sorry, I…" Sendoh started but was cut off. "Hn, you sure remember a lot." Rukawa muttered, his lips twitching a bit but he didn't mind. Sendoh smiled wistfully. "Yeah, my mind trails back even as far as our Inter High games together." Rukawa blinked, trying to reminisce. Sendoh smiled. "Against Daiei?" He grinned. Rukawa scoffed and drank, shaking his head. Sendoh chuckled. "The one with the goddamn talker of Daiei, forgot his name."

"Tsuchiya." Sendoh informed, chuckling a bit as he did so. Rukawa scoffed, smiling a bit. "That idiot. Wonder what happened to him." Sendoh shrugged. "The last time I heard, he became a coach." Rukawa simply scoffed. "Oh? I thought we had him locked up on one cell, someone kinda looks like him." Sendoh laughed at Rukawa's nonchalant attitude. A pause. "I remember something from that game though." Rukawa uttered.

"What?" Sendoh asked, drinking on his glass in slight anticipation. Rukawa turned his gaze on his taller companion. "Someone won MVP and he doesn't know it." Sendoh almost coughed on his drink, Rukawa simply chuckled softly. "Yeah, it came as a surprise." A pause. "I honestly thought you'd won instead but…" Rukawa scoffed. "You deserved it." Sendoh blinked his eyes in surprise and stared at his companion who was looking back at him too. Sendoh smiled. "I remember something else too."

It was Rukawa's turn to feel a tad bit…odd, for some unknown reasons. Sendoh grinned. "Someone owed me money." Rukawa frowned and gape a bit, Sendoh laughed. "Hey, I paid you a long time ago." Sendoh continued laughing. Rukawa drank and tried to racked his brain. "I paid you, I know I paid you already." Rukawa reiterated rather vindictively as he drinks from his glass. Sendoh is just laughing.

"Yeah, you paid me when you've reached college actually. You forgot to hand it over right after the ceremonies." Sendoh paused, wiping his eyes with a hand, chuckling still. Rukawa snorted, he remembered now. It was already when they're both in college that he handed the money; and it came off as a surprised as well since both of them decided to pursue criminology that time. "Damn, I should have put on an interest back then." Sendoh muttered.

Rukawa scoffed. "Well maybe, you shouldn't have brought my groceries." The former Shohoku rookie countered, grabbing his glass and drinking on it.

"You should be grateful I did that." Pause. "No one would do that for you." Sendoh stated, smiling as he did so, almost sounded like a vindication. He drank again from his glass, eyes finding their way in front of him—onto the hundreds of glasses and bottles stacked up stylishly on wall-mounted shelves.

"But why would you be doing that in the first place?" Rukawa countered, their conversation suddenly steering towards something relevant, with the alcohol seeping in, the night getting deeper by the hour, the noise like some blurred background, and their tongues… loose.

"Because I've always… cared for you. A lot." A pause. "I care for you more than you'll ever know... more than you can ever… imagine."

The crowd suddenly erupted into boisterous cheers and hoots when the familiar reggae and charming intro of Baby, I Love Your Way queued in and soon enough the band started performing. The people started dancing and grooving as they all stood up from their seats and gyrated their way onto the dancefloor.

'Oh SHIT.'

'Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shhhhiiiittt.'

Silence. They say if your foot slips, you can always recover your balance, but when your tongue slips, you can never recover your own words. Sendoh felt his head getting a tad bit lighter as he found himself saying the words while staring right in front of the bar. He slowly turned to his right and met Rukawa's surprised and confused stare, and in that moment, Sendoh have always known that he was seeing the rest of his life in front of his eyes.

XXX

Monday, Tokyo Precinct/ PD1, 2:00 PM

It was a typical Monday mess; the kind wherein you hated every hour of it. Rukawa barely noticed the morning hours as it simply passed him by because of busyness. Arriving 6:00 in the morning on the dot and barely getting a sip of coffee from the pantry he found himself getting on the desk and performing his usual duties. He barely looked up and responded to the greets and taunts of his colleagues as he quietly handed them their IDs, badges, radios, etc. He answered incoming calls as if he were a robot and transferred calls from various departments and offices as if he were passing an orange ball to the next open person to take the shot.

And as if his barely three-hours of sleep is not enough punishment to send him afloat, an 8:00 am multivehicular accident came up, sending most of the officers in the precinct as dispatched. The lines got even busier. He was all alone on the desk; answering two phones, and one headset connected to the computer; it was a ruckus, sending him cursing and cussing the f-word as often as possible as he flipped logbooks, dossiers, access locations via computer GPS, and list important reminders and stick them on various logbooks.

Even Sakuragi who was cheery most of the time didn't even throw his usual rant and antic as he come in and out of the precinct almost every hour; shouting, cussing, as he gets dispatched every now and then. Mitsui, too. The older even more annoyed since he had the newbie Itadori as his partner. Rukawa was partly annoyed too when Mitsui kept cussing about his radio and wanted to change twice. They almost got into a heated argument, good thing Uozumi came out and cleared the two of them.

Rukawa wanted to bash his senior on the face then, his lack of sleep and disarrayed brain, its like watching the build up of unwanted tau proteins seeping into his neurons, making him almost furious. The accident was cleared though around 11:00 am; still not enough to pummel him onto the ground, a third-category building fire broke within their one-kilometer radius; and although it was the fire department's turn to be toxic, situations like this entails the full cooperation of manpower from both parties—and so, several police officers were dispatched to redirect traffic and assist the evacuation of civilians.

Monday, 5:00 PM

Thirty minutes since the precinct seemed to have calmed down. Rukawa literally found himself plopping heavily on his chair. His eyes, drooping with tiredness as he involuntarily found his head slowly dumping on the table. He can feel his chest heaving slowly… calmly, as if ready to lull him to sleep. In that moment, his mind wandered to his bed back home. His mattress, his soft sheets, his dimly-lit room…

Rukawa fought the urge to succumb to tiredness as he tried to lift his head up and look around to see if some officers are back. There are few who were back already, and some of them looked almost like he was. Drenched in sweat, brows furrowed, their uniforms a bit soiled as the day's wrath hovered to each and everyone of them. The entrance opened and Mitsui came in with a scowl so deep, Mariana's trench would be bothered.

"I told you to check the plates, goddamn it. Did you even look at the note?"

"I'm sorry, Mitsui-san…" Itadori bowed, obviously bothered at something he missed. Mitsui scoffed. "The hell, that was the stolen vehicle! Right. In. front. Your. Eyes. Dammit!" Mitsui scathed, breaking the last words into syllables as he tapped his fist onto his left palm.

"It has been apprehended already…. On exit 32." Rukawa muttered almost drearily. Mitsui turned and walked around the desk and leaned on Rukawa's monitor; Rukawa typing in a few and hovering the mouse somewhere, zooming in and pressing enter. "Is this the plate?" Mitsui nodded. Rukawa, too. "Called in ten minutes ago." A pause. "You can chill now." Rukawa monotonously stated. Mitsui said nothing as he simply scoffed and nodded at Rukawa who was sleepily looking at him. Mitsui cleared his throat. "Thanks. You partied last night?" Rukawa was surprised, blinked and snorted. "So, can I still change my radio?" A grin. Rukawa frowned. "Chill." Mitsui muttered and smirked as he stared at a still frightened Itadori and walked away. Only then Itadori dumped a sigh. He walked towards Rukawa who was beginning to get busy again on the desk.

"Uh… anou, Rukawa-san… arigato." The newbie stated and bowed. Rukawa scoffed lightly. "Just… read your notes, I guess." Rukawa stated almost unthinkingly. He slowly turned to look at the brown-haired guy, wearing glasses, shorter than most of them but… seemed nice and all. "I thought Mitsui-san is going to… punch me." He swallowed. Rukawa scoffed, almost felt the corner of his lips tugging. Thing is, he remembered their High School Days. Back in Shohoku, when Mitsui was still the muse of Tetsuo's gang. He remembered the fist fights, the blood, Sakuragi's fly swatter, and his bloodied forehead. He could almost chuckle if he's not that sleepy.

"Maybe I should get him something… coffee and doughnuts, perhaps." Itadori muttered. Rukawa almost chortled. "Beer and barbeque, he'll be laughing again with you." Rukawa muttered. Itadori simply blinked and nodded. Rukawa got some post-it, wrote something on it, and gave it to Itadori's surprise. "His brand. Don't tell him I told you." Itadori nodded. Rukawa smirked and yawned. The younger police nodded, eyes suddenly filled with hope once more as he bowed endlessly and walked away.

Just then the door opened and in came Sakuragi and his partner. The redhead grinning despite his soiled uniform and weary eyes. His right hand pushing a suspect in front of him, with his hand cuffed behind back; the said guy had his head lowly docked as if embarrassed. Sakuragi tapped the desk and Rukawa entered something on the computer and soon after an index card printed automatically and he gave it to the redhead.

The guy scoffing and trying to reason out nonsense at Sakuragi. "I told you man, the car was given to me, dude… from my old man, sheesh!" Sakuragi cackled. "Nyahaha, yeah right… some old geezer giving you a a stolen luxury car. Some old cheapskate. I'm not your dude, by the way." He grinned menacingly at the suspect and the guy could only said nothing. After filling up something, he urged the guy forwards.

"What vehicle?" Rukawa muttered as he checked upon Mitsui's stolen vehicle. Turns out it's the car they've been discussing on earlier. Sakuragi scoffed. "Some Maserati? or Levante? or whatever bullshit it was… pretty dope to be honest. Ta-ta, fox-face." A grin, and Sakuragi started walking away. Rukawa simply nodded and shook his head.

An hour passed and heaven must have answered their pleas as their busy precinct settled down. Rukawa pressed the microwave and sat on an empty chair in the pantry, waiting for his food to warm. He got up as soon as the beeping sound alarmed and sat back to finally have his breakfast-lunch-dinner combo. He started putting food in his mouth, his eyes seemingly blank, his brain, empty and drained from the uproar of the whole day and he cant believed he'll be doing it again tomorrow. He quietly started eating slowly, trying not to think of things… of… last night.

Rukawa chewed his food slowly, his eyes staring at nothing in particular when his mind drifted to last night's event. Particularly of something… Truth is, it somewhat confused him. To the point that it did bother him. They spent the way back home in silence. Neither one speaking. Rukawa wondered if it was his fault that the air around them thickened. But Sendoh is just as sozzled as he is. He knew it must have been the alcohol's effect. Still, words should only hold weight when honest intentions are behind them, and Rukawa felt the gravity of Sendoh's words last night. It is almost as if, he had been holding it off for the longest time.

"Because I've always… cared for you. A lot." "I care for you more than you'll ever know... more than you can ever… imagine."

7:00 PM

Rukawa opened his locker and arranged his things, removing his tie, his ID, badge, gear belt, etc. He closed his locker shortly after and sat down on the bench in the middle, his right hand clutching his bag. There's this feeling of… heaviness surrounding him. It is as if, he is almost afraid to go home. But he is tired and his body clamours for rest. But what is there to feel scared of anyway? Rukawa swallowed involuntarily as his mind is having a debate between his chest as well.

Sendoh Akira. The person he's been acquainted with for more than a decade. He's been his enemy on court, then became his unlikely colleague… a friend… a close friend… almost a confidante. Rukawa thought that its surprising, because even though both of them have changed and is still finding their own place in the world, at the end of the day, they both know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across their faces, he still found himself coming home.

"Rukawa-san?"

Rukawa looked up and saw Itadori. "Uh, Sarge is calling for you in his office." The younger informed. Rukawa blinked his confusion, his reverie suddenly broken. He nodded his thanks and started walking, suddenly straightening his uniform now looking almost plain without his tie, ID plate, and badge. He wondered…. He wondered very much.

Standing in front of Uozumi's door, he almost hesitated to knock but did so anyway. He wouldn't know, would he? And so he knocked. He grabbed the handle and twist it open. "Sarge?" He called in lowly. Uozumi Jun turned and nodded at the lanky, pale, blue-eyed officer and urged him to come on in. Rukawa closed the door lightly and stepped forwards. He is ready to decline if this is a shift extension.

Uozumi cleared his throat and sat down on his chair, filing some folders and whatever. "Uh… come and sit down." Rukawa nodded and sat down on one of the two chairs. Uozumi cleared again his throat and nodded. "Busy day." He muttered. Rukawa couldn't agree more. But truly this isn't something Uozumi would call him for. He wondered if he made a mistake earlier on. Or maybe a missed call for Uozumi? He cant remember if he ever did a mistake.

"Rukawa, I called you because I am intending to have a change in your schedule." Uozumi stated straightly. Rukawa blinked in surprised. He wasn't the type to complain much especially if its work-related concern, but, maybe, he just wasn't expecting it—at the moment. "This will be your final week for the morning shift, I am putting you in nights starting next week—would you be able to comply?" Uozumi queried.

'No way, you boss monkey!' Rukawa inwardly mused, but of course, its not like he was given a choice either. Doing nights is not bad, he's had a fair share of it when he was in his second year in the precinct, and it was fine. Although, this is probably the first-time he and Sendoh would be in the same shift, in the six years they've been in the same police department. And so, he nodded. "No problem, Sarge." Rukawa monotonously stated. Although his mind wondered-it must probably be a lot awkward now to be sharing the same shift with Sendoh. Awkward. Did his mind just suddenly thought of the word after realising Sendoh's mini charade last night? But, why? They're close friends anyway. Still…

Uozumi was busy filing papers and shuffling them inside dossiers; Rukawa took in the moment to asked. "Would that be all, Sarge?"

"Oh… yeah. Fukuda will be the in-charge of the nights now. Actually, its Fukuda who picked you. I recommended five officers. He's been in nights for years and definitely, he knows the ins and out of the third shift, so you should be fine." Rukawa partly opened his mouth to gape. "But Sendoh is…" Rukawa started; he wanted actually to asked, why Fukuda? Isnt Sendoh the captain of the nights? Uozumi blinked.

"Oh—Sendoh is no more? He's leaving, didn't he tell you?" A pause. Uozumi missed the shocked and confusion in Rukawa's eyes. "He got accepted in the LAPD program, gave him his dossier and acceptance form a few days ago." Uozumi paused, seeing Rukawa's surprised look. "He'll probably be off in three months." Silence. He blinked and almost felt something akin to… guilt? Didn't Rukawa know? Uozumi thought he and Sendoh were close and that if ever Sendoh would choose to undisclosed something to someone, it'll definitely be with Rukawa, of all people.

Uozumi slowly placed his elbow on top of his desk, a hand on his lips as he found himself staring down. Silence. He heaved a sigh. "Look, I apologised if…"

"Its okay, Sarge." Rukawa stated then stood up, his eyes hidden under his black fringes. Uozumi stared at him. "I'll take the change in shift." He bowed curtly and quietly exited the room.

XXX

Afloat. Like his head is suddenly filled with air as well. Rukawa is barely hearing anything now as his mind suddenly went blank from what he heard right after he went inside Uozumi's office. He barely took notice of his surrounding; barely noticing that the night shifts were called-in early to take over because of the busyness of the day. It was 8:00 pm on the clock; Rukawa went inside their locker room and partly saw the new incoming men and women of the nights. They were chatting, laughing, giving taps and high fives as the exiting morning crew hollered the craziness of the day.

Leaving. LAPD. Accepted. Leaving. Didn't he tell you? LAPD. Accepted. He made it. I haven't been checking my emails. I don't know. Leaving. LAPD. Maybe I didn't make it to the cut. Did you check your mail? Three months. LAPD. Accepted. Maybe I didn't make it to the cut- I didn't make it to the cut. You didn't make it to the cut. Sendoh is leaving. He got accepted. A few days ago. Third shift. You should be fine…. You should be fine… You should be fine… You should… You should… You should… Sendoh is leaving…. Sendoh is…. I care for you. A lot. I've always cared for you…. Leaving. More than you'll ever know… I care for you… Always cared for you… leaving… more than you can ever imagine… I care… I care…. I've always…

The words and phrases mulled his brain like someone muddying the water. It swirled around him like a mantra. It wedged itself right into him like some packaging tape wrapping around his mind. Rukawa barely heard the apology when he bumped onto someone as he made his way into the locker room (once more) to get some of his things and bring them home. His sight is suddenly filled with small tiny dots on the periphery, and only his central vision seemed clear as he kept his laser-like focus towards his locker.

"Rukawa…"

Rukawa reached for his locker and pressed his number combination, pulled the lock down. "Rukawa…" He reached for something inside the locker and got his extra holster belt, some extra things, etc. He pushed the locker closed and started hooking the lock almost like a robot, keeping his vision upfront, his mind still drowning into an array of words and phrases and seemingly… empty promises.

"Rukawa." A loud bang on one locker seemed to have awaken him as he blinked his eyes and stared in front of his own locker, his hand still holding on the padlock. He slowly turned to the owner of the voice. The said voice sounded way too familiar… in fact it is too familiar he almost regretted turning his head. He felt his brows furrowed instantly as his gaze befell the person who has been starting to occupy his idle mind for the past hour or so…

Sendoh Akira stood on one corner—in front of his own locker, a few steps away from where Rukawa was. His worried look casted on the latter's seemingly spent and weary ones. Sendoh swallowed involuntarily and tried to act normal. He cleared his throat and gave one of his usual smiles. "Hey… I…" He started, wondering why he is feeling suddenly jittery. "We were called-in early and… heard its been a busy day." A smile. Silence.

Busy day. What a fucking understatement. Silence. Sendoh shifted his weight on one leg. The stillness was a bit unnerving Sendoh suddenly ran out of something to say. More like, he wanted to say something but he's wondering if it's the appropriate time and place. "You should head home… you looked really tired." Sendoh stated lowly, his deep voice resonating in the four corners of the locker room, luckily no one else was inside. "I made you dinner by the way so…its in the fridge, you can just warm it." A pause. "Sensing Rukawa wouldn't be responding, Sendoh dumped a small sigh.

"I… look, about last night, I just wanted to…" Sendoh suddenly started trailing off—rather unsurely.

"See you in the next shift, Captain."

Sendoh's eyes widened. Surprised at Rukawa's cold statement. Rukawa never addressed him as 'captain', and he never once mind. The raven-haired guy turned his back and started walking away. "Rukawa, wait…" Sendoh muttered, as if being casted on a spell for a few minutes. He felt his leg moved slowly, wanting to reach a hand on the latter's shoulder but as he was about to do so, Rukawa turned. "Congratulations, by the way." A pause. Sendoh gulped, almost knowing what the word is meant for. And in that given moment, Sendoh felt as if he really did something so wrong, guilt is starting to wash over him.

Rukawa scoffed, almost smirked ghostly, tugging the corner of his lips upward, eyes blank—almost condescending as he batted his blue orbs to the one person, he thought… he trusted his whole life. Sendoh felt his right hand closed into a fist. "Rukawa…" He started.

"LAPD. You deserved it." Rukawa then started walking away. "Rukawa, wait… I can explain." Sendoh said the dreaded line as if his life was just like the movies. Rukawa held on the knob and twisted it open. Sendoh approached him and paused. Rukawa pulled the door ajar. A pause. "I forgot. You've always deserved it. You deserved everything." And Rukawa left.

Sendoh opened the door and tried to follow Rukawa as he saw the guy exited their office. The new officer on desk raised her hand. "Captain… Captain Sendoh sir…" She tried to get his attention. Sendoh looked at her and raised a left hand. "Sir, we need a dispatch on area…" Sendoh ignored her. The lady furrowed her brows and wondered.

XXX

Rukawa exited the premises of the department. "Rukawa, wait-wait up…" Sendoh muttered as he ignored taps and wave from colleagues that passed by him. Rukawa paid no heed as he continued walking as if suddenly deaf. He stopped though (to Sendoh's relief) when he saw Fukuda getting off of his motorbike as the latter parked his black Daytona©, clutching a helmet on one hand, a crossbody bag on his chest as he turned to see Rukawa on the foot of the steps and Sendoh standing not far behind. Fukuda blinked his eyes and alternately turned at Sendoh, who looked worried, guilty, agitated, lost, in love, mortified, shamefaced, but still in love, and all the nasty adjectives his mind can think of, then to Rukawa who seemed lost, weary, tired, spent, but most of all… betrayed. Silence. Fukuda blinked his eyes again and clutched on his helmet. 'Fucking. Troublesome.' His mind once again registered.

"Hi guys." Fukuda muttered, nodding and tugging the corner of his lips upward. Silence. It was then Fukuda realised that 'hi guys' is not the appropriate greeting of the evening. "Who wants coffee?" Fukuda muttered rather a bit foolishly. Deep inside he knew Jin must have hit him on the head with a large trout. 'Fucking troublesome.' He muttered to himself.

Rukawa simply scoffed lightly, and started walking past Fukuda. Sendoh descended the stairs, ignored Fukuda and was about to follow when his arm was held by the person whom he just ignored. Sendoh halted and turned an almost irate look at his colleague. Fukuda held on. "Look, I don't know what happened but, we got a job." Fukuda muttered as-a-matter-of-factly.

"A minute. I just need a minute." Sendoh muttered. "No, lets go now, Sendoh." Fukuda muttered. Sendoh rolled his eyes. "I need a minute, I'm just gonna talk to him, I'll be back… just a minute…" Sendoh irately stated, tugging his arm strongly but Fukuda held on like an iron clamp.

"You just lost it." Fukuda countered. Sendoh tried to tugged his arm free but Fukuda had strength to held on. "Give it time. You can talk tomorrow." Another tug. Fukuda frowned.

"Let me go, Kicchou." Sendoh almost seethed.

Fukuda frowned. "No. Get inside, we got a job."

"Let go of me, Kicchou." Sendoh uttered, in a tone so low and serious as he remained in his guilt-stricken demeanor. Fukuda held on.

"I don't know what the fuck happened and maybe I have no intentions of knowing; all I know is that sometimes its not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." A pause. Sendoh held on his stare. "Are you trying to straighten me up with that bullshit counseling of yours?" A pause. "Let go of me."

Fukuda stared back. "Maybe, because if you can straighten up your hair like you always do, why not the chest too?" Fukuda uttered, pointing a finger on Sendoh's torso.

Sendoh swallowed involuntarily. He felt the weight in Fukuda's words. What is he doing anyway? Going to work on that delicate evening, wearing his heart out of his sleeves. His team needs him, the night needs them. "You'd never understand." Sendoh lowly stated.

Fukuda scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah right, I surely won't. Because you're the only person in this whole fucking world who fell in love and doesn't know what to do. Hn." Sendoh glared at Fukuda. Fukuda held on his ground. Silence. Only then Fukuda let go.

Fukuda started walking away and into the building and pause. Sendoh dumped a sigh and found his eyes staring to where he saw Rukawa was—then turned to Fukuda who was a few steps away; standing, a hand on his hip. "I don't fix problems of the heart, Sendoh. I can never fix yours. But what I do fix…is my thinking. Then the problems fucking fix themselves."

XXX

A week passed. And their usual routine unfolded right before them like the same old red carpet that has been used time and again. Rukawa doing his routine morning shift—his presumably 'last' before he joins the night shifts. He was finally released from the desk job and has been on the streets with another officer; the news of him transferring spreading like wildfire as he was taunted and teased randomly by his fellow colleagues. Rukawa paid no heed as he just settled for the usual sigh, nod, and shrugged.

He and Sendoh would still cross paths for a while especially when Sendoh would be returning his radio and Rukawa be borrowing; there's always this seemingly 'pattern' of them meeting at the dreaded desk; both in silence. The officer on desk would flicker her eyes from either one of them trying to sense if she would entertain Rukawa first or Sendoh. She ended up always getting Sendoh's returned radio and cam because a few minutes after, Mitsui would be borrowing his favorite, 32-A. Rukawa would borrow a random radio and wouldn't care less.

The officer placed Sendoh's receiver on the panel, typed something and scanned the bar code and Sendoh's ID. Sendoh was simply leaning on the desk, eyes staring at nothing in particular as both nights and day shifts are always filled with uproar these past few days. Rukawa simply waited on one corner to have his own radio and body camera, impatience growing by the minute. An obvious space between them. Just then, Mitsui arrived, whistling, clutching a helmet on one hand, grinned when he saw Sendoh and Rukawa.

Sendoh nodded, smiled a little while Rukawa simply stared. Mitsui leaned on the desk and peered at the lady officer. "Aira-san, I'm here." He grinned. Aira scoffed and nodded. "Ohayou, Mitsui-san. Good to see you." Mitsui grinned. "You know the drill." Aira simply grinned and continued busying herself with the radios and body cams, the IDs, the badges, the short telephone calls…

Mitsui-leaned back and turned to Sendoh. "Goddammit, you leaving us, eh." He playfully jabbed the taller guy. Sendoh wanted to just walked away from Mitsui's morning buzz. He simply shrugged and said nothing. "What the hell happened, you okay, man?" Mitsui queried. Sendoh rubbed his eyes. "Just… tired." He muttered lowly.

Both men turned their heads when Rukawa hardly grabbed his body cam and radio, ID, and badge and placed them all over him in a blink of an eye, and walked away. Not even once turning to bat an eye on them. Aira blinked and looked at Mitsui who was looking at her as well. "He looks… pissed so…" Aira stated, grinning sheepishly. Mitsui smirked. "Aurora always looks pissed—hey, my 32-A." Aira nodded. "Yeah, I got it here…" A pause. "…or maybe not." Aira turned to look at her computer and whined, casting an apologetic look at Mitsui. "Gomenasaiiii, I gave it to Rukawa! I thought it was 42-A." Mitsui frowned and pounded his hand on the desk. "What the heck-?! I'm here, right in front of your face, dammit!" Sendoh found himself surprisingly chuckling as he rubbed both of his eyes, soon after his ID and badge has been returned.

Sendoh pushed himself off the desk and started heading towards the locker room. Another shift ended and time for him to head home. Since last week (the week where he and Rukawa dined out) Sendoh has been not quite himself lately, they neither spoke to each other, even at home and sad as it may sound, it is as if there's this sudden invisible barrier that decided to settle itself between them. Sendoh tried to explain himself but Rukawa would always dodge the attempt and with each passing days and weeks, it only adds up to his growing anxiety and fear… for he only has eight weeks left until the program. Sendoh still has to organize a lot of his documents, his visa, his bank records, etc. The following weeks would be hectic. He entered their locker room and was greeted by Fukuda who was getting ready to leave the office. Fukuda nodded to Sendoh who did the same. Sendoh sat down on the bench and placed both palms on his face.

Fukuda zipped his bag. "Do you wanna grab a drink or something?" Sendoh scoffed. "At 8:00 am?" Fukuda smirked. "Yeah, why not." Sendoh snorted lowly and almost smirked back. He shook his head. "I just want to… rest." Fukuda said nothing and clutched his bag. Just then another colleague came in from the nights, it was Koshino. He was frowning. "I cant believed you fucking traded me for that narcoleptic Rukawa, what the hell man, we're a team here!" He hollered at Fukuda. Apparently, since Rukawa is changing into nights, someone has to go down in the morning—turns out its Koshino. Fukuda shrugged. "It was Sarge who decided with the candidates."

"Yeah, but you picked me! Some colleague you are, just because you're the captain now!"

"Hey, don't put the blame on me, Koshino."

"And who would I blame?! Sendoh?" Koshino squawked. Sendoh tiredly looked at Koshino then to Fukuda. "Hey, what's happening anyway… quit it." Koshino clacked his tongue. "Well, since Rukawa would be taking on the night shifts starting on Monday, I got demoted in the morning. Thanks to Fukuda here." The aforementioned name snorted. "I thought you'd want mornings. You're welcome, by the way."

Koshino frowned. "Who the hell likes waking up early? Do something Sendoh! Get me back in nights, c'mon!" Sendoh shook his head as he ran a hand on his hair.

"Why the heck did you choose him anyway, Fukuda?" A pause. Fukuda shrugged. Silence. Koshino was still frowning. Silence. Sendoh looked from Koshino to Fukuda. "Well?" Fukuda dumped a sigh. "I thought you said you had a crush on Mitsui." A pause. "Thought you'd want to see him often."

"What the-?!" Koshino growled, but he was damn flushed. Sendoh blinked his eyes in surprise, not quite expecting that. Fukuda grabbed his bag and started exiting. "Uh… gotta run now. Later." And the door was shut. For the second time, amidst the issues of the heart, Sendoh found himself smiling. "Mitsui, huh." Koshino's ears turned red as he slammed his locker shut. "Shut up Sendoh!" Sendoh simply chuckled a bit and said nothing, soon after, he, too, decided to leave the building.

XXX

The weekend before Rukawa's awaited transfer for the night shift passed by silently. Literally. Its like two strangers living in the same space—boarders, like temporary lodgers. Rukawa would jog in the morning, arrive, eat fast, leave for work, go home, and locked himself in the room. Sendoh would arrive in the morning, tired, sleep until 5 in the afternoon, wake up, either cook something for himself or go out and return around 8 in the evening, sometimes he would spot Rukawa on the couch, watching TV, their eyes would meet for the briefest moment before either would go back to what they were doing. Sunday went still as always, Rukawa went off to attend Ayako's wedding and so, Sendoh and the other night and morning shifts had extended duties for that day since Sakuragi and Mitsui weren't around as well.

Come, Monday. Their first shift together. Rukawa was pissed since a sudden shift in his schedule entails him and his body to adjust and he hasn't fully adjusted yet, and so, he woke up early that Monday, being used to going to work at around 6:00 am. He rolled his eyes and took note at the room next to him; obviously Sendoh is still asleep.

Rukawa walked bare feet and head towards their small kitchen. He stared at the quiet kitchen, the dining area adjacent to it, and their living room. Rukawa pulled one chair and sat down on it, dumping his head on the table, closing his eyes a bit. Work starts late for him that day—too late in fact. Ten in the evening until 7 in the morning tomorrow. He wondered what awaits him in his first evening shift. Usually, the newbies get to be briefed by the seniors—the Captains to be exact. And Rukawa shot his eyes opened. Captains. 'Shit.' He muttered inwardly. Rukawa lifted his head up. Does this mean that he gets to be patrolled with Sendoh Akira? Could be. Rukawa clacked his tongue and scratched his head annoyingly. Just his luck.

Rukawa, sensing its no used crying over spilled milk, pushed his chair back, got up and started brewing coffee. He lazily opened the fridge and saw the usuals. A few more minutes later, he's filling his stomach with the food he made. He was randomly browsing on his phone while eating alone on that quiet morning, reading news, traffic, and anything within their radius of responsibility. The peaceful morning passed him by and soon it was in the afternoon.

1:00 PM

Sendoh is eating his brunch while watching some movie on TV. He woke up an hour ago and the first thing that his mind came up is… yes, everyone guessed it right. Rukawa. He knew this is the week Rukawa is going to be with them in the night shift and try as he may to act nonchalantly about it, Sendoh is somewhat feeling a tad bit anxious… and quite excited too. When he woke up, he actually tried knocking on Rukawa's door, but there was no answer and so he braved to twist the door open—Rukawa isn't around.

Sendoh took note that maybe Rukawa just went someplace to kill the time. If they were on speaking terms, Sendoh would have advised his colleague to just rest the day and condition his mind because contrary to everyone's belief, its not always 'peaceful' in the evenings. Usually, crime rates are higher in the wee hours of the morning than in daylight itself. Sendoh wondered is he should call Rukawa. He momentarily stared at his phone and scrolled the name; he was about to press call but hesitated; what is there to say anyway? Its not like he is his mother to remind him. Sendoh sighed and cancelled his plan before it turned worst.

Done eating, he stood up, washed the dishes and sat down for a bit to stare at the movie- but not quite following the whole thing. It was then Sendoh decided to just fill-up the forms he had to accomplished for the joint program.

XXX

9:00 PM

Sendoh adjusted his gear belt and gun holster, puffed out a sigh and went out of his room, grab his bag nearby and light coat, walked towards the dining area and sat, staring at the still closed door of his roommate. He didn't know what time Rukawa arrived, he finished his documents at around 4:00 pm and decided to watch another random movie; felt sleepy right after, decided to sleep and woke up at around 8:00 pm to eat dinner and shower. He wondered if Rukawa is still sleeping though. Sendoh stood up and decided to dare knock. Sendoh stopped when he was right in front of Rukawa's door. He swallowed involuntarily before raising his right hand to knock- the door opened.

Sendoh gasped in surprised. The latter, too. Silence. "Uh…" Sendoh started and felt he was standing a bit close, stepped aside. Rukawa almost glared, a scowl evident on his face as he walked past the taller guy, dragging a coat on one hand and his bag on his back. Sendoh stared for a bit—Rukawa was all suited up, joining him in their usual 'night' uniforms—the dark blue polo shirt, gear belts, their dark utility pants (with tons of pockets), and their usual work boots.

Sendoh took in the moment to stare at his companion—Rukawa is… it has been a while since he saw Rukawa donned in their night uniforms, usually he's just wearing the usual class B uniform, complete with plates and badge, but tonight. Sendoh thought Rukawa actually looked nice in night uniform. He almost suited the team. Sendoh punched himself inwardly to stop his reverie and cleared his throat. What to say? His mind came up with nothing.

9:45 PM

They both queued in for their biometrics at the office entrance and soon after were heading towards their department. Sendoh smiled and nodded to a few greets while Rukawa remained passive and unwelcoming against the hoots and catcalls from his morning colleagues, including Sakuragi & Mitsui (who had shift extensions).

"Oh yeah, the night shifts!"

"Good evening, Captain."

"Nyahaha, the jolts of your headache starts tonight, Sendoh!"

"Why does night shift get to have the best-looking guys?!" Aira muttered. Sakuragi scowled. "Hey, you're forgetting us!" Aira chuckled.

"Hahaha! They looked so good, the people don't need to see them, boy!" Mitsui added. Sakuragi and the others laughed as they all tap hands. Sendoh chuckled a bit and shook his head. "Is Fukuda good-looking anyway? Nyahahah!" Sakuragi added. They all laughed.

"Better looking than you though, monkey." Fukuda muttered, suddenly arriving as well as he signed on the logbook. The others gape, surprised but when they saw Fukuda acting all cool about it, they go about their merry way. "Teme, Fuku!" Sakuragi hollered then turned at Rukawa who was—looking a tad bit sleepy alright.

"No sleeping allowed, fox-faced!" Sakuragi bantered and laughed. Rukawa simply glared at the redhead.

"Hey, Kosh." Sendoh greeted their colleague from the night shift. Koshino simply rolled his eyes at Sendoh then to Fukuda who playfully waved and went to the locker room. Koshino turned an eye to Rukawa who was having a small talk with Mitsui.

Sendoh tapped Koshino's arm. "Jealous already? Its just a small talk." He grinned.

Koshino frowned. "Back at you, mister twelve years." Sendoh almost coughed, surprised at Koshino's comeback.

Koshino chuckled then scoffed back to his usual scowl. "Ah, so my replacement is here." Sendoh chuckled softly. "How's your day?" Koshino scoffed. "Fucking woke up early. Dammit. So-so. Its fine. Its not like I can't handle it."

Sendoh grinned and nodded. Koshino simply smiled. "You will miss me at nights, you know." Sendoh nodded. "Of course. I mean, no one's going to berate me anymore." Sendoh grinned good naturedly. Koshino simply shrugged and waved as he approached the desk to return his cam and radio, excusing himself from Rukawa and Mitsui.

Sendoh scoffed as he signed on the logbooks handed to him by the one on desk, Rukawa followed suit. Sendoh wondered if Sakuragi ever knew. Sometimes he just wished he could say his dilemma to one of Rukawa's high school colleagues, he actually considered Sakuragi. The redhead maybe loud but he's been with the brown-eyed former power forward in an assignment before and in fairness to Sakuragi, the redhead is amazing outside. His judgement is on-point and plus the fact that he's physically gifted and can totally run after some delinquents, pickpockets, and some low-time criminals. Sendoh knew why Uozumi wouldn't want Sakuragi to leave the daylight shifts—he works especially best with Mitsui as well who knows mostly the ins and outs of the roads.

Rukawa on the other hand, while he is almost at par with everyone else, Sakuragi can still outrun him—the latter still have his quite physical limitations, but Rukawa learns fast and he maybe quiet but his observant nature and quick thinking is also something not to be reckon with. But the one skill he probably has that Sendoh and everyone else regards… Rukawa is good with guns. Rifles. Handguns. Shotgun. Semi-Automatic. But most of all, he's a sniper. A fucking sniper who had experience handling M24s in their trainings. Although Sendoh is regarded to be one as well, since he is leaving, Uozumi probably wants to have someone with the same skill (almost) in the third shift as well.

10:00 PM

Rukawa stared at the team of the nights. His eyes flickering to each team member, from Sendoh who was on his usual table, to Fukuda, Hikoichi, the others… In fairness, they are all—tall. Taller than him mostly, except maybe for Hikoichi. They're all bulkier too. Rukawa was assigned a particular desk—basically, its just Koshino's desk. Rukawa turned to look at the other two officers who were gearing up while talking a bit, noting how one of the two bat an eye at him and scoffed. Rukawa hinted that he's probably not going to like the guy.

An approach to his left alerted him. It was Sendoh. Their eyes met. Silence. "So… welcome to nights." Rukawa simply nodded. "Look, usually we assign partners here, but I know you know the basics already, still I got to brief you." Another nod. Sendoh is still his senior and the captain so Rukawa knew best than to start an attitude of his own. Sendoh sighed a bit. "Uh… so, let me introduce you to the guys." Rukawa followed Sendoh as the older gathered up the team.

"Hey everyone, we got a new soul on board, I know you're all familiar with him but, still, let us welcome…" Sendoh paused, turned and smiled at Rukawa who was rather caught surprised. He almost mustered a glare but didn't have time to do so. "…Rukawa Kaede." Rukawa never liked the attention and while he knows some of them by their faces, he didn't quite know them well-enough to strike a conversation, lest, socialized with them. He nodded as they all greeted, nodded and waved at him.

"Hey!"

"Hi, welcome Rukawa."

"Sup, man!"

"Welcome."

"This should be interesting, we got the face of the precinct on board, hn." Makoto Toda, a co-senior colleague of Sendoh muttered. He is actually Sendoh's senior since he's been in the department for more than ten years and decided to just stick around at night shifts. Black haired, sporting a beard, older than most of them, casually furrowed brows, standing as tall as Sendoh and quite on the bulkier side, Makoto is not known for friendliness. He often works alone, doesn't want supervision, but since Sendoh taking over the nights, he's somewhat kept in line—to the surprise of many.

Rukawa furrowed his brow and threw a glare on the guy. Makoto simply smirking at him, almost taunting him. Rukawa refrained from causing trouble as he simply nodded. Makoto scoffed.

"And that's Makoto Toda. Senior officer." Sendoh muttered, placing his hands on his hips, eyeing the older rather meaningfully. "So, just wondering taichou, what's Aurora doing here anyway?" Makoto asked, the others simply rolling their eyes discreetly and having that 'oh-here-he-goes-again-look'. "Its not like we lacked manpower." He added. Sendoh's cheerful demeanor went off and nodded. "This is Sarge's call, we heed to it." He paused. "And, personally, I think we need additional manpower." Makoto scoffed and chuckled. "You got a sniper here, eh. You're a sniper yourself, why add another?"

Rukawa kept his silence at bay, listening but very much itching to walk towards the older guy and punch him probably on the face. Deep inside, he's very much wondering where the heck Sendoh keeps his patience with the guy. Sendoh wryly lifted one corner of his lips. "Yeah, you're right—but apparently, there was this once incident we had not so long ago where in I was looking for the sniper but he was too busy locking off a target somewhere to heed my call." A pause. Some chuckled. Makoto frowned.

Apparently, it was an incident involving him, causing his suspension when he was found out to be loitering around the red-light district area of Tokyo. "So yeah, we need an extra pair of good eyes, just in case the inevitable happens again. Right, everyone?" Sendoh muttered almost sarcastically. The majority nodded. And they dispersed.

XXX

Rukawa was loading up the magazine of his gun into when he was approached. He looked up. It was Sendoh. "Its Makoto's normal. Don't be bothered." Rukawa blinked his eyes, wondering why Sendoh would bother but… he found himself appreciating the concern. He nodded. "I'm not." He muttered lowly. Sendoh nodded and smiled. "Good. So, I'm assigning you on patrol for tonight—come on over for a minute." Rukawa followed Sendoh to his table and Sendoh pulled out the city's map and started pointing the routes, the stops, the streets and areas that needs to be checked. Rukawa, simply listening, nodding and sometimes asking a few questions.

"Gear up?" Rukawa asked. Sendoh nodded. "Yeah, we gear up at nights—always." A pause. "Like in the mornings but… doubly at nights. You never knew what'll happen so." Sendoh explained. Rukawa understood. "So there, always gear up, call the precinct if you plan to investigate and always asked for backup." He paused. "Oh and of course… patience. Lots of it. Don't pull out a gun just because you got taunted or teased…" Sendoh trailed, eyeing the object of his affections.

Rukawa simply stared at him. Silence. Sendoh can honestly feel his chest raced but tried to be professional. "Do I look like someone who'd pull out a gun easily?" Rukawa miraculously asked to Sendoh's surprised. Rukawa, too, thought he surprised himself but… it is Sendoh and his familiarity is so solid, despite him feeling a tad bit grassed by the person whom he considers as his close friend, they're still… friends. Colleagues…partners, maybe?

Rukawa wondered why the heck is he even thinking of these nonsenses. Sendoh chuckled softly, Rukawa turned an eye. "Sometimes." Sendoh muttered. Rukawa simply scoffed lightly and said nothing.

Done with his briefing Sendoh knew it was time to assign Rukawa a partner. He discreetly eyed the whole office and the names listed on the paper atop his desk. Fukuda was busy sharpening again his nth pencil via his swiss knife. Hikoichi who was harassing Rukawa's ears with all the stories he could think of, Makoto who was on the other corner, puffing out a smoke, both feet up on the desk. Sendoh frowned and looks like he's going to remind the older again. The new guy he's been partnering with for the past week, there's also four other officers around, chatting, taking phone calls and ready to be dispatched if ever he needs them too.

Sendoh sighed and eyed the paper. Fukuda batted a stare to where Sendoh was and almost smirked. He got up and approached the spiky haired boy. Fukuda leaned down on Sendoh's table and smirked. Sendoh simply eyed the latter. "You looked… happy tonight, you know." Fukuda teased. Sendoh scoffed. "What do you want, Fukuda."

"Hey, call me Captain, Captain." He joked—then grinned. Sendoh snorted and shook his head. "I can take him. Its his first patrol, its like a tour." Fukuda muttered, referring to Rukawa. Sendoh blinked his eyes, it wasn't a bad suggestion. Fukuda is a trusted comrade. But—in his list, Makoto is the only one without partner and Uozumi is keen on having him one, the big guy wanting Makoto to learn about camaraderie and brotherhood. Sendoh tapped his pen softly on his desk and said nothing.

"Let me guess… you'd rather assign him with you, eh?" Fukuda grinned. Sendoh scoffed, eyes widening a bit as he tried to glare at Fukuda who was chuckling. "I knew it." Sendoh clacked his tongue, feeling the slight warming of his ears. Fukuda pulled on a chair and sat. "If I were the Captain now, I'd put your name beside him." Sendoh scoffed and almost smirked. "You wouldn't." Fukuda leered. "I would." He paused. "I'm a believer of love. Nothing beats the feeling of being in love and being loved, you know." Sendoh—not expecting Fukuda to say the words, found himself chuckling, his shoulders moving up and down as he tried to not laugh aloud. The two turned to see Rukawa staring at them with a frown. Sendoh simply nodded, Fukuda waved—both to Rukawa's confusion.

Sendoh tried to composed himself, amused Fukuda's demeanor that evening, he wanted to asked if something nice happened between him and Jin but didn't bother anyway. Sendoh heaved a sigh and found himself with no choice. He wrote Rukawa's name beside Makoto and stared at it for awhile. Fukuda tapped him on the arm. He nodded and smirked. "You worry too much. He's old enough to look after himself."

Fukuda stood up and looked at his watch. Patrol time. "Rico, we're going!" He hollered. The mentioned name, stood up from the desk and geared up as Fukuda prepared to leave. He paused. "By the way, did you tell him already?" Sendoh blinked for awhile—then finally getting the question. He shook his head, smiling wistfully as the memories of that night dawned again on him. "Not really… I mean, who confesses with Macarena?"

Fukuda blinked—then chuckled. "Man, you got a lot to tell me. I'm dying." Sendoh simply nodded and smiled. "But I told him that I care… a lot." He paused. Fukuda stared. Silence. Sendoh was tapping softly on the paper on his desk. "That's it? Care?" Fukuda pfft. Sendoh chuckled softly as he ran a hand on his hair. "I care a lot too, you know. I care for everyone here. Well, not everyone. I care for you. I care for Hikoichi. Hell, I care for Rukawa too. I don't care for Makoto by the way." Fukuda muttered jokingly as he fixed his holster and gear belt. "I'm going now, Captain… tomorrow, I urged you to tell him everything." And with the last statement in mind, Fukuda left.

Makoto lifted his deep eyes up and saw Sendoh standing in front of his desk. He slowly put his feet down and sat up straight. "The smoke." Sendoh muttered. Makoto dipped the cig out and sighed as he leaned back on his chair. Sendoh placed the paper atop him and pointed out a certain name.

His eyes boring holes on Makoto's aged face, his lips pursed into seriousness. "You're going with Rukawa. Show him your route—the usual, then tell him about the areas and districts." Makoto didn't flinch, he didn't like the assignment but he always knew that Uozumi's always trying to put up someone with him. "Why me?" Makoto asked. Sendoh shrugged. "Why not you? Hm?" Silence.

"What if I refuse?" Makoto countered. "Then I would have to do a write-up on you." Sendoh stated.

Makoto scoffed. "And you'd get suspended again. Or- maybe dismissed. Whichever is worst." Sendoh added, unbothered.

"You always knew I ride alone." Makoto reiterated again. Sendoh frowned. "That's not how things work out here, and you know it. You, of all people around here should know it." Sendoh addressed rather sternly. Makoto glared but averted first as he grabbed the paper assignment and signed on it as confirmation that he attests to it.

Sendoh grabbed the paper back and turned around but not without pointing a finger. "Officer Makoto, maturity doesn't come with age, but on how you come to face your responsibilities." And with that Sendoh walked, leaving an unreceptive Makoto.

XXX

Rukawa read on the paper and hesitated for a bit before signing as well. And so its official, he's got a partner already—the jerk. Rukawa is willing to trade Sakuragi to be his partner rather than the old jerk. But of course, its not possible. Deep inside, he wondered… he wondered why didn't Sendoh chose to be his partner instead? He knew Sendoh, being the Captain has the means to select his would-be partner, but for some reason, he didn't. Rukawa wondered if it has something to do with him leaving probably.

The joint program again. Rukawa heaved a soft sigh as he closed his right fist, feeling annoyed yet again, remembering Sendoh's seeming lie-at-his-face charade. He stood up right after signing the paper and approached Sendoh who seemed busy on his laptop. He momentarily stared at the person he's been acquainted with for more than a decade. Sendoh Akira. He may not be perfect and Rukawa hates to admit it, but he's a genuine soul. He sees the good in everyone and maybe, even more.

Rukawa dumped a sigh and approached the table—he didn't know but he's feeling rather a bit cautious ever since that night with Sendoh. He cleared his throat and Sendoh looked up, pausing to type on his laptop. Rukawa placed the paper atop his desk and said nothing. Sendoh looked at the paper, seeing Rukawa's familiar signature and nodded, a small smile on his lips. Stillness. The air isn't heavy though—its rather comforting, which is odd. Rukawa wondered if he should just turn around and leave, and so he did.

"Rukawa… wait." Sendoh stated. Rukawa paused, turning around to meet the gaze of Sendoh's blue orbs. The latter standing up a bit, leaning both of his arms onto his desk. Sendoh felt the ticking of the minute passed by. Its like his private emotion filling him tonight. He knew it wasn't the right time but Sendoh knew there wasn't really a right time or moment, sometimes…there is just time and what you choose to with it.

"I meant to tell you sooner. The joint program." He paused. "I'm sorry." Sendoh mustered all the courage he had to dare look Rukawa in the eye; the latter unflinching. Silence. Stillness. "I never meant to lie to you. Not even once. Not ever." Sendoh missed the flicker in Rukawa's eyes. Sendoh smiled wistfully as he felt his right fist closed.

"But you did." Rukawa muttered. "You lied." Sendoh felt a dagger. He swallowed involuntarily. Rukawa scoffed lightly. Eyes averting somewhere. "I'm not mad that I didn't make it to the cut. I just can't believe that you'd rather be a coward than tell me." It was the word that led him. It was the one word that led Sendoh Akira to say what he's been hiding all along.

Sendoh smiled wistfully, eyes flickered from Rukawa to his desk. "Twelve years." He scoffed lightly. "For twelve years, time and again, I wake up hoping that today is the day I don't miss you. But still, I do." Rukawa gasped, his eyes widening at Sendoh's words.

Sendoh returned his gaze at Rukawa and in that moment, he wasn't sure anymore if Rukawa is like the water or the light, only that he knows… he can flood a room, just like how he felt his private emotion poured at that moment.

"I have only been a coward once in my life. And that is every single time I said I didn't need you, and I did."

XXX

TBC. A shoutout to the few people I've come to know via the SenRu and SD fandom; You are safe. You will find your way through. Be really gentle with yourself. Sending hugs and love. Thoughts are always appreciated. =D (AddictedtoSD, except you. Bwahaha! Kidding! Hugs!) *hops away while dancing to Macarena* o