Welcome to Chapter 4! Hope you enjoy it, we get a lot of Alex and Spock in this one.
Life onboard the USS Enterprise began to become second nature to Alex within the first month of being in space. She found herself enjoying the work she was doing, starting to enjoy spending time with Laura, Mindy and Mahasri, and her occasional trips up to the bridge where she would speak with Captain Kirk.
She also found herself enjoying more and more the time she spent with the Science Officer Mr. Spock who occasionally sought her out to ask her questions about her time which she happily answered while working.
She was able to find the gym onboard and whenever she had free time she was there, working out, keeping herself at peak physical level, and it was in the gym one day that Mr. Spock found her, doing sit ups.
He paused in the doorway, watching for a moment before she noticed him and gave him a small smile. "Mr. Spock," she greeted him as she moved back down and then sat up with a small grunt.
"Ms. Ramirez, I will come back when you're not busy."
"No no, what's up?" she asked, sitting up fully and resting her elbow on her knee.
"I was thinking about our discussion of technology of your time and had a follow up question on the subject."
"Okay, but remember," she said as she stood and moved to the cooler in the room, pouring herself a water and then looking back at him. "I'm not an engineer, I don't know how the technology worked aside from the basics."
"I do recall."
"Okay, so shoot." She had to admit some of the looks he gave her when she used slang he was not accustomed to were pretty funny, he had all but stopped asking what they meant and was now just giving her pointed looks that she thought were hilarious. "I'm ready for your question," she grinned before sipping her water.
"The bluetooth technology you were referring to, what was its intended use?"
"I couldn't tell you," she answered honestly. "That is to say, I don't know why it was invented but it eventually became used for connecting devices to one another." she explained, leaning her elbow against the cooler. "Phones to speakers, cars, gaming stations to speakers and televisions and wireless controllers. I guess maybe it was so there were less wires?" she said thoughtfully. "People didn't like the way wires looked, it was too messy, so they started inventing ways to get rid of wires and make things a little more streamlined."
"And where did the name Bluetooth come from?" he asked and she perked up.
"Mm, that one I do know," she lowered the cup as she explained "The name came from Harald Gormosson, he was a king from centuries ago," she told him. "It was his nickname because he liked blueberries."
"I did not realize you were an expert on royal lines," he spoke and she shook her head.
"I'm not," she smiled. "I only knew that from a quiz show."
"A quiz show?"
"So in my time, entertainment had produced things called reality shows. Most were useless drivel, but sometimes they had quiz shows where they would get comedians to answer general knowledge trivia."
"And this was entertaining to your people?"
"Sometimes," she shrugged as she set down the water cup and walked over to a bar hanging in a doorway. Jumping up she grabbed it and started doing a pullup. "It depends on the comedian."
"May I ask another question Ms. Ramirez?"
"Go for it." she replied with a slight strain in her voice.
"Why do you do that?" he had followed her to the doorway and was watching her do her pull ups.
"What's that Mr. Spock?" she questioned, unsure as to what he was referring to.
"If you are not in your room or in the rec room during your off hours, you are in here, why do you spend so much time working out?"
"I'm Military Mr. Spock," she said in response. "I have to keep my body at its top physical form."
"Explain."
"As a soldier I was expected to be in the top physical condition," she dropped from the pull up bar to look up at him as she explained it. "I was expected to stay in top physical condition so that I would be able to win any fight,"
"You are expecting to get into a fight on the Enterprise?" he asked, quirking one of his pointed eyebrows in a way that made her lips curl into a small smile.
"I'm never expecting a fight, but I'm always prepared for one." she explained and he seemed to think about that for a moment before nodding.
"That is very logical reasoning Ms. Ramirez, not something I expect from humans."
"Are you saying I'm not like other humans?" she teased as she looked up at the bar and jumped, grabbing it again and resumed her pull ups. "That was a joke by the way Spock, not a real question."
As she finished her workout she was surprised that Spock stayed by her side, asking questions and answering her own questions about Starfleet, the Federation, and his heritage. As they walked towards her quarters Spock did something that surprised her, he looked over at her as they waited for the elevator before reaching forward and gently brushing her cheek with his thumb. She must have given him a startled expression because he explained in his low voice "You had an eyelash."
"Thank you Mr. Spock."
"You may feel free to call me Spock, Ms. Ramirez," he told her, earning another one of her lopsided smiles before she nodded as she put her hands behind her back.
"You may feel free to call me Alex, Spock." as they stepped into the elevator she looked up at him. "Do you have a surname?"
"It is unpronounceable by humans."
"Is it unpronounceable or do humans just not try?" she asked, earning an intrigued look from Spock.
"You pose an interesting question Alex." he told her.
"If you don't want to tell me your name, that's fine Spock," she assured him. "You don't know all of my names."
"Your name is Alexandra Isabella Ramirez." she looked over at him in surprise at that as the elevator stopped and they both stepped off.
"How do you know that?"
"I've read your file," he answered simply, earning an astonished gasp from Alex.
"Well that's not fair- now you have to tell me your name."
"I have to?" he raised his eyebrow at her and she grinned.
"Okay fine, don't tell me, I'll find it out though," she told him.
"And how do you propose to do that?" Spock asked.
"I'll figure it out." she replied as she got to her quarters and pressed the button to open the door, smiling at him as she stepped back into the room. "Are you coming in?" He tilted his head in thought for a moment before giving her a nod and stepping forward, his way blocked by Alex grinning up at him. "What's the password?" He just looked down at her before she stepped out of the way, letting him into the room.
The room had changed very little over the past week, though she did put her candle on a shelf, giving the room at least something to look like she had a personality. "You know you cannot light candles on a Starship do you not?" Spock asked as he looked over at her.
"I didn't know that, but I acknowledge it." she nodded to him. "I'm going to rinse off really quick, if you would rather not wait for me, I understand," she told him as she gestured to the bathroom.
"I will be here," he replied simply and she nodded.
"I won't take too long."
"Take your time."
After grabbing her shorts and tank top Alex moved into her bathroom, taking a quick shower to rinse off after her workout and then after stepping out she dried off, pulled on the shorts and tank top and then grabbed her brush, walking out of the bathroom to the bedroom, pausing to grab her hair band from the bedside table and walking to the public area where she found Spock sitting on the floor, cross legged, eyes closed, looking like he was meditating.
Alex decided not to bother him, so instead she sat down across from him, brushing her hair and putting it into a french braid before she too closed her eyes and rested her hands on her knees.
Alex was no stranger to meditation, she enjoyed it before and after yoga on the weekends and it definitely came in use when she was trying to deal with patriarchal bullshit on base, but this was different, it was like he had been waiting for her to join him in this place.
Her eyes closed and her breathing deepened Alex felt a sense of calm wash over her, the calmest feeling she'd felt- honestly in years. Letting herself move deeper into the calm she took a deep breath and slowly released it before feeling something else, like a touch of something in her mind.
Frowning softly she meant to pull back but the touch felt familiar.
"I will not continue if it is not acceptable to you," she heard Spock's voice not in her ears, but in her head.
"What is this?" she asked, whispering the question out loud.
"You can simply think your answers, I will hear them," Spock's voice said again in her mind. "Vulcans are telepaths, we have a technique where we can merge our mind with another, if it is not acceptable to you, I will not continue."
"Will it hurt?" thinking the question was strange for her, it was strange to know that he would hear her thoughts and briefly she wondered if he was able to hear her thoughts all the time.
"No. It will be as though our minds are one, I will know you, you will know me."
"Okay."
With that Alex felt his mind almost- well, merge into hers, she could see things about him, his memories, the planet Vulcan, children teasing him, bullies, some places that looked like earth in their current time and earth in the past.
She could also see what he was seeing, the time she spent at basic training, the shitty girls in high school calling her slurs, her first time- god that was embarrassing- and then she could feel him, feeling her embarrassment, she could see what looked like a large teddy bear that was alive and kind of terrifying, and she could see herself the night they met, seeing herself through his eyes was so fascinating, she had never stopped to think about what it would be like to see herself through someone else's eyes, and the way Spock saw her the first time he'd seen her- she looked like someone she had never seen before, beautiful and muscular-
She felt Spock gently reach up, pressing his long fingers to the sides of her face, moving deeper into her mind in a way that wasn't unpleasant, but was strange to her. She gasped, her hands not moving though she wanted to touch him.
He was seeing her first time jumping from an airplane, he was seeing her first tour of duty in Iraq, her second tour of duty, riding in the humvee, the explosion-
"No!" Alex shouted, her hands coming up to push Spock's hands away as she panted, tears filling her eyes, scrambling off the floor she grabbed onto the edge of the table, panting as she shook her head.
"Alex," Spock stood, moving to her and gently laying his hands on her arms. "Come, sit."
"No," she felt her voice shaking as she shook her head, trying to stop the tears from rolling down her face but finding she couldn't stop them.
"It is my fault." Spock said softly. "I went too far."
She sniffled as she tried to hold back the tears, found she couldn't, and instead turned, wrapping her arms around Spock's middle and her face in his shoulder. His arms came around her slowly, he knew what a hug was, she knew he did, she had seen it, and he knew that she needed the comfort, as soon as he had touched that memory, he knew he had gone too far.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Spock asked, knowing the answer as he asked it.
"I do not." she replied and he nodded, she could feel his face, the gentle brush of his cheek, prickly with 5 o'clock shadow.
"Do you wish me to know what happened?" Alex thought about that for a moment, if he could know, without her telling him-
"You would have to do the melt thing again wouldn't you?" she asked as she pulled back and looked at him.
"I will. And regrettably you will see the memory again," Spock told her as he looked down at her, his arms still around her.
She swallowed as she thought about it before nodding. "You want to know more about the military of my time," she said softly. "And being a woman in the military."
"I want to know more about your life in the military."
"Will I still be able to see your life?" she asked and he looked down at her with a slight tilt to his head. "I want to see what happened to the boys who were mean to you when you were a child," she explained. There was something about the way that Spock looked down at her at that, something gentle, soft almost.
"You will," Spock told her and she smiled before nodding.
Taking her hands Spock moved to sit down again, his back to the wall and her standing in front of him. She sat down, looking down at their hands as he stroked his thumbs over the backs of her hands.
"I'm ready," she told him and she looked at their hands.
"Close your eyes," Spoke spoke, moving his right hand to the back of her neck, his thumb moving to her temple.
Alex closed her eyes, feeling the touch of his mind again, giving into the feeling and moving back into the familiar feeling of their minds moving together as one.
Alex let out a soft breath, hearing Spock's question in her mind. "Are you uncomfortable?"
"No," she thought back, and she wasn't, it was an interesting feeling, being this close with someone, it was a level of intimacy she had no idea she was missing until this moment when he gave it to her, the level of intimacy when their minds mingled, moved together.
She could see memories of live on Vulcan, she could see his family, his feelings, a brutal fight between him and Kirk on what looked like Vulcan, the suns rising in Vulcan and the suns setting.
While she saw the beauty of the universe she could simultaneously see what he was seeing, the day of the explosion, the pain she had felt after the incident. She could see all of the pain she had been through back then, and all of the pain she endured, and as he saw that he tried to show her pleasant, beautiful otherworldly things that she had never even imagined before, colors she couldn't have dreamed of, creatures she almost didn't believe existed.
Feeling Spock holding her closer she was practically putty in his arms, he filed through her memories learning about her time, learning about her, and she did the same, it was harder for her, she wasn't as used to this as he was, she couldn't filter his thoughts as easily as he did to hers, but he was doing it for her, he was filtering thoughts, showing her things.
She had no idea how long it lasted, but after their minds broke apart Alex took a few moments to open her eyes, looking up at him he stroked her temple with his thumb gently, her cheeks flushing as she remembered some of the things he had watched.
"You are very brave," Spock said softly. Alex couldn't help it. She laughed at that, laughed like she was watching a comedy special, laughed like she hadn't since coming to this century.
"Brave?" she asked as she looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "Brave- How- where did you get brave from? How am I brave? I let girls bully me, I was scared of cows!" she listed as she shook her head. "The only time I ever felt brave was when I was in the military."
"And while you were in the military you defended yourself against men wronging you, you defended the men who hurt you against enemy fire, you entered buildings first looking for your enemy."
Alex was quiet as she listened to the things Spock said as he gently stroked her temples. She was exhausted, the whole thing had been a deep mental strain and was exhausting. She felt herself lean forward, resting her cheek against his shoulder. He moved his hand to the back of her head and held her there for a moment before he started to stand, picking up Alex, cradling her in his arms as he carried her to the bed, laying her down and then kneeling next to her.
"Spock," she reached out, grabbing his hand as he started to stand. "Do you really think I'm beautiful?"
"Vulcans can lie Alex," he said. "But we do not unless given a very good reason."
"Do you think I'm beautiful?"
"Yes." he replied as he sat on the edge of the bed.
"Is that why you did the brain thingy?"
"Mind meld." he explained as she sat up, looking at him curiously. "I did not plan on doing that with you this evening." he told her, wrapping his arm around her, it felt like he just wanted to be touching her now. "When you joined me for meditation the instinct overcame me, and when you did not back away from the merging of our minds-"
"Spock, was that an act of intimacy on Vulcan?" she asked and he looked down at her.
"It can be." he told her and she nodded.
"What we did, was that an act of intimacy?"
"Yes." Spock replied. "It was. I showed you parts of myself I have shown no one, I showed you Vulvan and the things of the universe that hold beauty, both scientifically and aesthetically, I showed you how I see you."
"And you saw things I've told no one about, you saw a lot of things," she blushed a little,remembering some of the things he had seen.
"I did," he replied, stroking her hair. "Is the intimacy- too much?"
"No." she replied as she looked up at him. "But next time- maybe give me a heads up?" she asked with a small smile.
"Next time?" Spock asked and she nodded.
"We've engaged in your form of intimacy- I would hope you'd be willing to engage in mine." she flirted, Spock giving her a long look before he moved to lay down next to her. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"Engaging in an intimate act." he told her as he lay next to her, turning to look at her. "Computer, dim the lights 43%." with that the light dimmed leaving them in gentle darkness.
"Spock," she smiled at him. "You don't have to do this just because of what I said," she assured him. "I mean, I'd like to, but-" she put her hand up, pressing it gently to his chest. "I'm emotionally drained right now."
"I understand," Spock told her as he looked at her. "I was merely suggesting another form of intimacy," he told her as he wrapped his arms around her. "I believe this is referred to as spooning?"
"Not quite," Alex smiled as she lay against his chest, sighing as she closed her eyes. "But close enough."
The two lay together for forty five minutes, maybe an hour, Alex wasn't sure exactly how long they held each other in silence until she looked up at him, opening her eyes with a smile as she saw him open his eyes and look down at her. "You are done with this intimacy?" Spock asked.
"Not entirely," she told him. "I was going to ask you the same thing- or at least I was going to ask-"
"You're thinking a lot of things," Spock told her as he ran his index and middle finger along the back of her hand.
"I am." she agreed with a small smile. "I have a lot of questions,"
"Ask."
"Is this just casual?" she asked and he looked down at her again.
"Vulcans do not take a casual approach to anything." he told her and she nodded.
"Okay," she said thoughtfully. "Then, this- us, is this something you would like to pursue?" she questioned.
"I believe I would like to ask a question."
"Go ahead."
"Is this something you would like to pursue?"
"Yes," she answered honestly, feeling Spock's fingers brushing over the back of her hand she looked up at him. "You're the only person I've met in this time that I really feel understood with. I mean, I feel like you get me."
"I understand what it is to feel like you do not connect with those around you." he told her. "And I agree that you and I have developed a mutual understanding that is beneficial to us both."
"You can just say you like me" she told him as she looked up at him with a small smile. Spock looked down at her as he stroked her hand before quirking his eyebrow.
"I thought I just did." Alex chuckled softly before nodding.
"You know what, you're right," she agreed. "You did."
The two lay together for awhile longer before Spock started to sit up, Alex turning over and wrapping her arms around his middle again.
"I'm not leaving," Spock told her softly. "I'm just going to take off my shoes."
"Will you stay the night?" she asked and he looked down at her before nodding.
"I will."
Alex smiled as he sat at the edge of the bed, moving to sit on her knees as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders while he took his boots off. Spock reached up with one hand, touching her hands as she leaned in to press her forehead against his cheek, inhaling the scent of the Vulcan she liked, the smell of his natural musk. Brushing her lips against his jaw as he continued to take his shoes off she moved her lip upward, gently nibbling on his earlobe, feeling him stiffen at that she smiled.
Taking that as a good thing Alex ran her tongue over the shell of his ear gently, slowly, until she reached the pointed tip of his ear.
The next thing she knew she was on her back and Spock had her wrists pinned to the bed.
"Spock," she breathed, her eyes wide with surprise and if she was honest something else.
"My ears are very sensitive," he told her after a moment. "It is very- overwhelming to touch a Vulcan's ears."
"Are you saying you didn't like it?" she asked as he let go of her wrists.
"That is not what I'm saying," he told her. "But unless you want to start a physical relationship right now, I will have to ask you not to do that again."
Alex lay there and thought about that for a minute before biting her lip. "And if I did want to start a physical relationship?" she asked softly as Spock slipped his shoes off finally. He seemed to pause as he looked over at her after she had asked the question before thinking about the question.
"I am led to believe female humans do not look for physical relationships this soon into an emotional relationship." he told her.
"If you don't want to, that's fine," she told him. "But I am a person with needs." she shrugged. "And I know you have the same needs," she told him.
"You know that because I let you know that." he told her and she smiled.
"I know." she told him. "But I also know you want a physical relationship too."
Spock looked at her for a moment before he turned over, kneeling on the bed, one knee between hers and the other outside of her leg, his hands moving to her wrists, bringing her hands up to his face, and then to his ears.
Alex ran her fingers through the back of his dark hair, pulling him down a little closer as she ran her thumbs up the outside of his ears, brushing her thumbs over the tips of his ears slowly, circling them as Spock closed his eyes.
Alex could feel him holding back, controlling himself and she grinned before leaning in to press her lips to his jaw, kidding him lightly before whispering "You don't need to hold back Spock. I want it too."
Okay hope you enjoyed it!